Day: December 9, 2012

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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As a cox how do you approach favoritism from coaches? Like, there’s a girl on my team whose dad is an assistant coach at our club (but for novice) and I feel like our varsity coaches favor her because she is the coach’s daughter. What do/can I do? I like her but I still feel like this is unfair.

Growing up, I played softball for about 10 years before I started coxing and I was fortunate enough to have my dad be my coach every year I played. I think a major reason why I’m so unbiased towards people is because he never gave me special treatment – even when I tried to get it. I wasn’t encouraged or scolded any more or less than anyone else on my team. When I got to high school, I was in the marching band (clarinet) and one of the directors had some seriously hardcore favorites that just got treated way better than everyone else. It annoyed me in a “roll my eyes every time I noticed it” kind of way. There wasn’t anything we could do about it and it wasn’t a HUGE deal in the grand scheme of things so we all basically just had to deal with it and ignore it. Since I’ve started coaching I’ve tried to do the same thing that my dad and HS crew coaches did and not have favorites. I’ve found that even though there are people I like infinitely better than others, I have to treat them equally and not let the people I like get away with shit that I wouldn’t let the others get away with.

One of the hardest lessons to learn is that there will ALWAYS be a favorite. It’s an inevitable truth. Why do you think they favor her? I feel like crew is a hard sport to play favorites with but, then again, I’ve never really seen or experienced it with any of my teams. Unless you, for example, pull an infinitely better erg time than she does and she gets boated over you with zero justification, there’s really not much you can do except ignore it. It’s possible that the coaches just know her better than other people on the team if they’re friends with her dad, so general conversations can seem like favoritism if other people don’t experience the same thing with them.

I wouldn’t let it bother you unless it comes to a point where people are getting displaced in the boat in favor of those who haven’t earned that seat. If that happens, then I’d bring it up (maturely) with one of the coaches and ask why that person was chosen instead of you or whoever. Don’t be accusatory though. Go to your coaches from the angle of wanting to know what you need to improve on so that next time YOU are the one that’s chosen. If they give you a legitimate answer as to why the other person was put in the lineup, you have to trust that they made the right decision, even if to you it feels like the wrong one.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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Hi! I’m a novice rower and asking for advice concerning my coxswain. She doesn’t get really fired up during races and falls back on just correcting our technique when we really need motivation. Anything you know that helps? We’re a girls team btw.

Have you talked to her about this? Does she know that it bothers you guys when she only focus on technique and doesn’t give any motivation? If you haven’t it’s possible that she doesn’t know there’s a problem.

Whenever you go out and do a piece, ask her if she can throw in some more motivational calls and then give her some specifics – tell her exactly what you (and the rest of the boat) want to hear. Explain that technical calls are really helpful at the beginning but as the race goes on, you need more motivation because as you get more tired it starts to feel like you can’t go on and you NEED someone pushing you and telling you that you can. Hopefully she’ll listen to you and try and throw in some more motivational calls – if she does, acknowledge that. At the end of a piece or after practice, say thank you and that you really appreciated her trying to throw in some new calls. Tell her that it really helped and ask if she can keep doing that.

Another thing you could do is have the other girls in your boat write down one or two things they want to hear and then give that list to her so she can read it. It’s possible that she knows what to say but just gets overwhelmed or forgets, so perhaps seeing it right in front of her will help remind her of things to say. You could also find a recording or two that you like (check the “recordings” tag on here and you’ll find some sprinkled through various posts) and then send her a link to it. Say that you came across these and really like how the coxswain does this or that or whatever and could she maybe try something similar the next time you go out. If she’s a novice like you, she’s still learning how to do this whole “steer-cox-think about 90430943 things a minute” thing, so maybe having one of the varsity coxswains talk to her might help. Ask them if they’d mind giving her a couple pointers on things to say during races, specifically relating to motivational calls.

Asking coxswains to do something is a little like herding blind cats sometimes … it can be hard because coxswains are usually stubborn and typically don’t like being told what to do. Be nice when you talk to her. Don’t all come at her at once with pitchforks and accuse her of not listening to you or of sucking as a coxswain. Talk about it one day after practice and see what happens.

Coxing How To Q&A Rowing Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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I know coaches are always looking for “team leaders” but there’s this one girl on my team who TRIES to be a leader but is just ignorant & bossy. Inevitably, she only hurts herself by getting on her teammates & even coaches nerves. She’s leaving next year (along with a huge majority of my team) & I want to be an effective leader but I’m afraid of being annoying to underclassmen like this girl is to me. How do I lead w/o being bossy and making people want to straight up slap me in the face?

Ha, I know exactly the kind of person you’re talking about. It’s painful being on a team with someone like that.

Step 1. Think of all the reasons why she is a poor and/or ineffective leader and why it doesn’t work … then do the EXACT opposite of that.

Step 2. I really do believe that being a good leader involves invoking a form of the Golden Rule – lead others as you would like to be led. Do not unnecessarily raise your voice or yell at people (unless they have genuinely done something to deserve it – and if they have, let your coach handle it) and don’t treat them like crap and think you can get away with it because, like you said, inevitably you’re only hurting yourself.

Step 3. Being a team captain or leader is less about telling people what to do and more about leading by example. Think of what you want your team to be or what you want them to become and then start ACTING like that. At the start of the season, hold a team meeting and set goals for the season. Throughout the year, remind your team of what you’ve accomplished so far and remind them of the goals still ahead.

Step 4. Encourage others by pushing yourself – everything you do will be noticed by your teammates so make sure you’re giving 150% one hundred percent of the time.

Step 5. Keep open lines of communication with EVERYONE on the team – not just the people in your boat or just your friends. Let it be known that if anyone is having a problem, rowing related or not, they can come to you. No judgement either. Keep an eye out for anyone who looks like they’re having a rough time. When they’re alone, either before or after practice, let them know that if they need to talk, they know where to find you. Leave it at that and don’t push the issue.

Step 6. Embrace the leadership role. Don’t act like it’s a burden but don’t do what this girl is doing by trying to force the role upon herself. If people see that you’re dedicated to the team and you’re committed to becoming a good leader, people will be more open to accepting you as their captain. Try not to channel Napoleon and develop a complex.

Step 7. Don’t wait to become a leader – do it now! You don’t have to wait until this girl is gone to start leading your team. Don’t incite a power struggle whenever you’re around her, just start doing the things that a leader should do. It’s up to you to determine what your team needs. Talk with your coaches and explain that you’re not trying to cause drama or anything like that, but you’d like to see someone take a more effective leadership role on the team. Since you’ll be a senior (I’m assuming) next year, you felt that it would be good to begin gaining that experience now. Ask if there is anything you can help with or anything specific they would like you to do and then go from there.

Talk to this other girl and ask if there’s anything you can help her with. If she says “OMG yes, nobody ever listens to me when I try and do … (whatever)”, take that opportunity to say “OK, I’ll see what I can do” and then go do it. If she says “nope, I’m good” say “OK, well, if you need anything or get overwhelmed with (whatever), feel free to let me know” and leave it at that. Don’t make it blatantly obvious to her that she sucks as a leader and you think you can do better. Let her come to you. In the mean time, find little things you can do to start building up your rapport with the coaches and your teammates.