This is my second season on my team and although I rowed in the fall, I was drafted to cox this spring by my coach. The novice girls had widely out-shined the novice boys (beating their times twice in the fall) and that was exacerbated by the loss of everyone but their bow four and five seat. Five seat quickly became a sculler, and a walk-on became our other coxswain. She’s super friendly and I love her to death, but her steering and calls need improvement. I’ve busted my ass to become what the varsity and head coxswains have called “the best novice cox on the team”, and have medaled with my girls four at every single regatta this season, even though the four is usually an afterthought. The other coxswain had not medaled yet, and has crashed several times. However, she got to take out the boys in our BRAND NEW Vespoli bowloader, while the girls are relegated to a slightly old stern loader.

Due to her being a sophomore, I was sent with the boys to states and had a week to practice in our other bowloader, while our head got the new one. I worked to keep the boys in check, and was not afraid to be frank with them, also being professional and focused in the boat. In a week, they went from placing 8/16 to second at states. She was with the novice girls, and screwed up their start which resulted in them not making finals, and had at least three people say something along the lines of “I wondered what would have happened if you…” We got back to practice today, and she was allowed to take out the boys in our brand new bowloader while I was sent with the girls. I love my girls and we had a great practice but I had three out of the four boys say they wanted me back in the boat and my bow pair ask me to specifically not do things she had done. I just feel like ALL my hard work with the boys is being ignored and I’m probably being ridiculous but it just feels so unfair to me because I worked so damn hard to help them get that medal. Sorry if this was long, I guess I just wanted some coaching input on why this decision was possibly made. Thanks for reading, I needed to vent.

I get the frustration. Have you tried talking to your coaches? They’d be able to give you actual insight into the situation vs. my speculation. It’s worth doing if you haven’t already. It’s possible that they don’t realize how irritating this situation is for you so it’s not even something they’re thinking about (which isn’t an uncommon thing with coaches and coxswains). I wouldn’t bring up the boys saying they wanted you back or the other coxswain messing up the start (because it’s never just one person’s fault, although I understand what you mean) but instead focus solely on what you’ve done since joining the team, what you’ve accomplished, why you think you’re the best coxswain for that boat, etc. State your case.

I can’t really say why your coach(es) would put a coxswain with a history of crashing into a brand new boat but if I had to venture a guess I would say that they’re hoping the responsibility of coxing the new boat would force her to pay more attention to her steering and make better decisions while she’s out on the water. Trial by fire, almost. It really bugs me when coaches do that though rather than just teaching the coxswains what to do and how to do it properly.

Have you talked to this other coxswain and offered to help her? Like, give her tips on steering or things to say when she’s in the boat? You obviously don’t have to give up all your secrets but if you see she’s taking the guys out again, tell her that saying _____ really helped when you were doing this drill or when you were halfway through a piece and then explain why it worked. What helped you when you were first learning to steer? Help her out and give her some advice on how to not hit things (without being sarcastic, which can be tough in situations like this…). Part of being a good/great coxswain is sucking it up when you really don’t want to and helping the other coxswains, even the ones who might be coxing the boat you want/deserve. It shows a certain level of maturity that everyone will appreciate for different reasons.

If after talking to your coaches they end up keeping her in that boat, say OK and let it go. Focus on making the boat you’re in the fastest boat on the water. Being bitter over a coxswain who is not as good as the boat she’s coxing (sorry, I don’t know any other way to say it) getting that spot over you does absolutely nothing for anyone – trust me, I’ve tried it. Be proud of your accomplishment in being part of the 4+ that got 2nd place at States but if you end up having to cox another boat, commit yourself to them. Even though you’re not outright saying you want to be with the guys, it can be obvious through your body language or you hanging out with them before/after practice that you’d rather be with them and the boat you’re currently with is your second choice. Try to help her out though and give her pointers if you see she’s having trouble. Ask her how practice was, how that last piece went, etc. You’re still teammates and the overall success of the team requires everyone working together to get better.