So literally our best rower got booted off the team due to bad behavior (questionable substances, among other things). Not only are we DAYS away from our biggest regatta of the season but I am particularly devastated because I always looked up to and admired this person. When I was pushing myself during workouts, it was them I wanted to push myself for, it was them I wanted to be as good as. I’m dumbfounded that I completely missed that there was a problem.

Oh man … that’s the worst. For the time being and especially since you’ve got a huge regatta coming up, abstain from letting this become a distraction. Assuming this person was a good teammate (aside from putting the team in this position, obviously), they probably are feeling guilty over the fact that this is a distraction and it’s coming at the worst possible time. What you can do is focus on what’s important – your boat, your teammates, yourself, and getting some good rows in before this weekend. Try to avoid any communication with them until after your races are over. I know that sounds like a really rude thing to do but assuming you were friends with this person, they’ll probably try to text you or message you on FB to see how things are going, give you their side of the story, etc. Hold off on talking to them or anything like that until Sunday or Monday, that way you and your teammates can keep your heads clear and focused on what’s in front of you.

You should never assume that you could have prevented what happened. It sucks not knowing there was an issue ahead of time, especially if you were close with them, but don’t beat yourself up over it. If you’re comfortable enough talking to them about it and they’re willing to share, ask them what’s up. Were/are they going through something, was it just a series of stupid mistakes, etc. Don’t be pushy or prying or anything and respect their privacy if they don’t want to share. Offer to lend an ear if they do need someone to talk to in the future and leave it at that.

In addition to all of that, be the bigger person amongst your teammates as well. No doubt some of them are probably really pissed at this person (rightfully so…) but don’t let it get to the point where they’re badmouthing them or being flat out rude to them. Chances are no one knows the full story so, like I said earlier, ignore it for now and don’t let it become an unnecessary distraction.