There’s a coxswain who is excessively competitive. She’s very cocky and hard to practice with. We had a day of skill & drill and she cut me off while launching/docking, ignored my requests to start drills together, coxed 1/2 to 3/4 pressure like race pieces, and didn’t really try to keep our boats together. She doesn’t help set up workouts on land until I ask, and clearly looks down on rowers/coxswains on lower boats. Is there a way to talk to her or the coaches without heightening the tension?

This is something I’d let the coaches handle. It’s likely they’ve already noticed her behavior (and if they haven’t, well, that’s another issue) so bringing it up to them shouldn’t come as a surprise. Raising issues like this with a coach always carries the risk that they’ll blow you off or think you’re just being petty but if I was in your position I’d say something. It’s really irritating, not just for you but for the rowers as well, when there’s such a blatant lack of communication between the coxswains, most especially when it’s one-sided. As I’ve said in the past, when you talk to your coach(es) keep it simple and to the point. Try to keep your personal feelings out of it and just give them the facts (basically everything you said up above). Let them know that you’ve tried talking to her previously about keeping the boats together, doing drills together, helping with land workouts, etc. but nothing really seems to get through to her. Once you’ve said that, let that be the end of it from your end and let them handle the rest. Ideally they’ll take her aside privately before or after practice one day and talk to her.

If you try talking to her and just end up repeating what you’ve said before, not only will she likely ignore you but she’ll also probably get pissed because you’re trying to tell her what to do, you’re being bossy, etc. (even though that’s obviously not really what’s happening). If she wants to do her own thing on the water, let her and then let the coaches deal with it if they think it’s an issue (which they probably will, especially if they’ve given her specific instructions to do the workouts with another coxswain and to keep the boats together). Don’t bother trying to keep up with her or adjusting your practice plan to fit what she’s doing because you’ll just end up playing catch-up the whole time which will result in a wasted practice for the rowers. As far as docking goes, just give her space and let her go. It’s not worth risking a $30k+ boat just to be able to be the first one to dock. Her attitude towards the other coxswains and rowers is most likely not going unnoticed by them so it’s really only a matter of time before someone else raises the issue of her attitude with your coaches. Do your best, along with the other coxswains, to try and maintain a positive atmosphere when you’re at practice. If your coaches don’t say something to her first, she’ll start to realize on her own that her attitude is making her the odd man out.