Hi, I have a problem with my coach. Whenever I cox she asks me to do things (which I proceed to do) before changing her mind without being very clear or even telling me. I find it very annoying as I am doing my best to follow her muddled instructions and she makes me look incompetent. Also during short pieces she shouts at me and says I shouldn’t be saying certain things, even though I asked the rowers what would be most beneficial to them and am focusing on using those things.

Talk to her. That’s the only way this situation is going to be resolved.

I’m one of those people that gets really frustrated when instructions aren’t straightforward and clear from the beginning, mainly because it’s a huge waste of my time (and probably other people’s as well) to think this is what you want me to do but not be 100% sure. It’s particularly frustrating on the water because there is no time to waste and when it is wasted the coxswains are the ones that get blamed (even when the rowers are equally as confused). I don’t blame you for being annoyed because I, and I’m sure many other coxswains, would be too.

Here’s the thing about coaches telling coxswains what they should and shouldn’t say. If a rower asks their coxswain to make a certain call, that is off limits for you to comment on (unless they asked for a “power 10 for cupcakes” because that is stupid; use your common sense here). You cannot tell the coxswain they shouldn’t be saying that and at the same time preach about how important it is to gain the trust of the rowers, get feedback from them, etc. This goes double, maybe even triple, if you were never a coxswain in the first place. If what they’re saying maybe isn’t phrased in the best way then by all means, suggest an alternative way to call it – I’m all for that – but don’t flat out say they shouldn’t say it. In situations like this, loyalty to the rowers (particularly if it’s a close-knit crew) is almost always going to trump the coach telling you to stop doing something. Yelling “stop saying that” during a piece, I mean really, what are you trying to accomplish by doing that? (Related, see today’s VOTW post.)

The best and only way to get this situation taken care of is by (firmly) pointing out to her how difficult it is to do your job when her instructions are unclear and that the reason you’re saying those things is because you were specifically asked by the rowers to say them (for whatever reason). One thing that usually helps when it’s tough to understand what the coach wants you to do is to go over it each day before you go out on the water – like, as soon as you get to the boathouse. That was one of the things I really liked in high school and college was that our coaches would go over the workouts, goals, etc. for the day with us and answer any questions we had while the rowers were changing, getting oars down, etc. It’s important to work something out though because it’s really hard to be an effective coxswain when there’s poor communication between you and your coach and you feel incompetent whenever you do something because it ends up not being what they wanted.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting/needing all the details when you’re being asked to do something (and it’s really annoying when people act like it is – that’s just pure laziness on their part) so if having all of that up front is what you need to be an effective coxswain for your boat, then you should say that. Everybody functions a little bit differently (as we as coxswains know firsthand…) and part of being a good coach is recognizing that and making little adjustments to your style to accommodate that.