Category: Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow January 24, 2014

There’s a coxswain who is excessively competitive. She’s very cocky and hard to practice with. We had a day of skill & drill and she cut me off while launching/docking, ignored my requests to start drills together, coxed 1/2 to 3/4 pressure like race pieces, and didn’t really try to keep our boats together. She doesn’t help set up workouts on land until I ask, and clearly looks down on rowers/coxswains on lower boats. Is there a way to talk to her or the coaches without heightening the tension?

This is something I’d let the coaches handle. It’s likely they’ve already noticed her behavior (and if they haven’t, well, that’s another issue) so bringing it up to them shouldn’t come as a surprise. Raising issues like this with a coach always carries the risk that they’ll blow you off or think you’re just being petty but if I was in your position I’d say something. It’s really irritating, not just for you but for the rowers as well, when there’s such a blatant lack of communication between the coxswains, most especially when it’s one-sided. As I’ve said in the past, when you talk to your coach(es) keep it simple and to the point. Try to keep your personal feelings out of it and just give them the facts (basically everything you said up above). Let them know that you’ve tried talking to her previously about keeping the boats together, doing drills together, helping with land workouts, etc. but nothing really seems to get through to her. Once you’ve said that, let that be the end of it from your end and let them handle the rest. Ideally they’ll take her aside privately before or after practice one day and talk to her.

If you try talking to her and just end up repeating what you’ve said before, not only will she likely ignore you but she’ll also probably get pissed because you’re trying to tell her what to do, you’re being bossy, etc. (even though that’s obviously not really what’s happening). If she wants to do her own thing on the water, let her and then let the coaches deal with it if they think it’s an issue (which they probably will, especially if they’ve given her specific instructions to do the workouts with another coxswain and to keep the boats together). Don’t bother trying to keep up with her or adjusting your practice plan to fit what she’s doing because you’ll just end up playing catch-up the whole time which will result in a wasted practice for the rowers. As far as docking goes, just give her space and let her go. It’s not worth risking a $30k+ boat just to be able to be the first one to dock. Her attitude towards the other coxswains and rowers is most likely not going unnoticed by them so it’s really only a matter of time before someone else raises the issue of her attitude with your coaches. Do your best, along with the other coxswains, to try and maintain a positive atmosphere when you’re at practice. If your coaches don’t say something to her first, she’ll start to realize on her own that her attitude is making her the odd man out.

College Coxing High School Novice Rowing Teammates & Coaches

Teachable moments

By readyallrow January 23, 2014

Yesterday someone posted a thread on Reddit titled “Things I Wish Novices Knew” and when I read it I ended up having a much different reaction than I thought I would. Maybe it’s because I’ve been around the sport for awhile, maybe it’s because I talk to so many novices on here, I don’t know. I cringe at the thought that maybe it’s just because I’m getting older but I’m starting to lean more towards finding the teachable moments in situations like this rather than just reading what’s written, closing the tab, and quietly moving on.

I posted a really long response to the original post (unintentionally, to be honest…) and got a couple emails from people asking me to post it on here because they thought it was “good advice that I wish my teammates would listen to” and “I know several people on my D1 team that need a reminder of how to treat/work with novices if they want them to stick around”. Another person asked “Can you please post this on your blog? I don’t think many of my teammates are on Reddit but I know many of them, including a couple of our coaches, read your blog and this is something I think they should all read. None of them would take it seriously if I brought it up (I’m a junior in high school) but I know they will if they see if on your blog.”.

Here’s the original post:

And here’s my reply:

“OK, I’m going to play devil’s advocate here and say that instead of just posting all this stuff on Reddit and snarking on the noobs because they’re all complacent about, well, everything, maybe actually spend some time discussing all this stuff with them. Like [username removed] said, regardless of whether or not this was what he/she actually meant, they just started and they’re still learning. The upperclassmen when we were novices probably/definitely felt the same way about us as we do about the novices right now. There’s no excuse though to not spend the time teaching them all this stuff. And maybe you are, who knows, but if you’re doing it through various offhand, easy-to-ignore conversations or pissed off diatribes before or after practice, your message isn’t getting across.

If they aren’t used to participating in a sport, let alone one that says “fuck the elements” like crew does, they ARE going to assume that on certain days you won’t have practice because of the weather. That’s what NORMAL people do. They see that it’s foggy and think “I can barely see across the street, there’s no way we’ll be on the water today” or “It’s basically hurricane-ing outside, we can’t row in this”. That’s a NORMAL reaction for someone who hasn’t done crew before. You can say “don’t assume we won’t have practice” but part of them always will, at least for the first year.

Instead of having issues with people missing practice, why not have someone send a text to the novices (or everyone) in the morning if the weather looks iffy and say “practice is on, see you in an hour at the boathouse” or “fog’s pretty thick this morning, we’ll be in the erg room on campus at 7:30am”. I know it might seem like you’re holding their hand and making them less responsible but in situations like this, communication is key. Assuming that someone is going to assume something and then getting pissed when they assume the opposite of what you want them to assume is pretty messed up on your end.

If you want them to respect the boat, have them help you fix it when something happens to it so they can see how much time and effort goes into repairing the damage they caused or contributed to. If you’re a club, ask them contribute to the repair costs if they snapped off a fin or lost all the nuts and bolts to one of the riggers. Just saying it’s worth more than your tuition literally means nothing. It’s a fun fact you can tell people at the beginning of the year but after that, no one cares. I can pretty much guarantee you that the only time you start thinking about how much your tuition actually is is six months after graduation when you get your first student loan payment in the mail.

Saying the boat has won more championships than you is a real asshole thing to say, plain and simple. I bet the boat you row in has won more championships than you too but again, that doesn’t really mean anything. All it does is make them feel less a part of the team and lower on the totem pole than they already do/are. Don’t say shit like that to people who are new to the sport if you want them to stick around.

If you want them to go to bed on time, talk to them about time management. How do you manage your schedule? Give them actual examples instead of just repeating the same shit they hear from their parents, teachers, and advisers. Don’t just say “you’ve gotta be awake for practice”. Yea well, no shit. There’s a difference between being awake and being awake and they’re most likely going with the definition of awake that says “my eyes are open” instead of the one that says “my eyes are open and I’m firing on all cylinders”. Explain to them how just having your eyes open doesn’t count as being awake and why it’s important for everyone to be fully coherent at practice because at the very least, it’s a safety issue if they’re not.

If they say they’re having trouble getting all their homework done because they’re having difficulty understanding the material they’re learning in one of their engineering classes, say “oh, Andrew took that class when he was a freshman too and did pretty well in it … you should ask him for help and see if you guys can get together sometime”. If they’re working on a really big paper, offer to proofread or help them edit it. If they’re terrible at math and struggling with their calculus class, hook them up with the person on your team who just happens to have been a TA for that class last semester.

Even if you did everything all by yourself your entire way through college not everyone is like that and sometimes people need help but have a hard time asking for it. If you want to earn their respect as a teammate, be there for them OUTSIDE of practice, not just when you’re at the boathouse. Offer to help them when you can see they need it. Stuff like this will not only help them understand the close-knit feeling that being on a crew team has but it’ll also help them get their work done, stay on top of their classes, and go to bed (hopefully) at a slightly more reasonable hour.

Tuning out, goofing off, etc. is to be expected until you help/make them understand that they are ONE boat, not five or nine individuals. In order for the boat to run smoothly, everyone’s gotta be on the same page. If you’re that one person who is on page 3 while everyone else is on page 5, the boat will be effected. If you can see that they’re tuned out, figure out why. Don’t just brush them off. Engage them, ask them how the boat feels to them, what’s something they’re having trouble with, how does what we worked on yesterday feel today, DUDE your catch timing looks so much better than it did last week, oh, your back’s hurting and that’s why you aren’t focused? well, your posture’s not great right now so let’s fix that and see if it helps. Stuff like that.

Make sure each member of the crew (including the coxswain) gets an equal amount of attention, regardless of how big someone’s issues are compared to someone else. Don’t give them the chance to goof off or tune you out because if they see it, they’ll take it if they’re that kind of person. You, the coach, and the other rowers might know that they’re fucking around but until one of you steps up and addresses it or finds out the root cause, it’s going to keep happening.

To an extent, I don’t disagree with you on having a healthy fear of the sport. I do disagree with what you said about how it will help you avoid things. People new to the sport (or any sport, really) don’t understand that healthy fear the way we do. All they hear is the word “fear” and think “this is something I should be afraid of” and then they become scared of those things. What happens when you’re scared of things? You become meek, timid, and do everything you can to avoid being out-pulled, running into things, catching crabs, etc.

In the boat, you know what that translates to? Pulling harder than you’re capable of right now which leads to you getting injured. As a coxswain, you become over-zealous with the steering leading you to zig zag across the water or you firmly plant yourself smack in the middle of the river so that you’re far, far away from anything that might impede your path, traffic patterns be damned.

With catching crabs, you try to avoid catching them by fighting the handle which either a) gives you a really sore ribcage for a few days or b) throws you out of the boat, which then causes copious amounts of embarrassment that makes you question whether or not you want to keep doing crew. As a novice, is being out-pulled that high on the priority list? No. Learning the stroke and developing good technique should be WAY above anything involving power. If you want to worry about being out-pulled when you’re just starting out, go join CrossFit. The douchebro attitude you’ll develop and the injuries you’ll sustain will be the exact same. You’re most likely all gonna be in the freshman/novice boats anyways so it’s not like there’s going to be THAT much individual competition.

If you want them to worry about not hitting things, have an experienced coxswain walk them out of the boathouse and down to the water with the novice coxswain beside them so that they can see the path of least resistance that they should take when going out/coming in. Remind them that the equipment is precious and they should treat it as such. That’s all you have to say. Have your experienced coxswains explain how to steer the boat, what to do if they get in various less-than-ideal situations, etc. and then put them in a boat of experienced rowers so that if something DOES happen they’ll at least have knowledgeable people on hand to help them out. If they hit something because they don’t know how to use the equipment because YOU as the coach/experienced teammate didn’t THOROUGHLY teach them how to use it, that’s on you WAY more than it is on them and you HAVE to understand that.

Telling them to be afraid of something is going to do the exact opposite of what you want. Instead of saying “have a healthy fear so you can avoid all these things” explain to them that these are things you should always be conscious of so that you can always be striving to improve. Let the thought of catching a crab MOTIVATE you to really work on your technique so that crabs don’t happen. This will lead to all of those issues becoming less-than-likely to occur because you’ve developed the necessary skills that allow you to avoid them with no effort.

Raising the hands, lowering the blades, etc. is just something that you’ll have to keep explaining to them until it sinks in. I’ve worked with enough novices to know that they think the handle is everything, so if you say “lower the blade” they’ll put their hands down instead of the blade. Come up with some drills or something that will help them distinguish the two. You could do something like a basic catch drill at the finish and have them say “blade” when the blade goes in/hands go up and “hands” when the blade comes out/hands go down. I donno. Do the thing where all the starboards put their hands on the gunnels and all the ports lift their hands up to their faces, then switch, then have them figure out how to balance it on their own. Once they’ve got it, ASK THEM what they did to fix it and how did they know that’s what they needed to do. The more you engage them instead of just talking at them the better they’ll understand and the more focused they’ll be come.

Novices drive me insane so it’s not like I don’t understand how you feel. I’ve been in your position as a coxswain and a coach many times. I’d pick an experienced crew over them any day but working with them has taught me a lot of things that we tend to forget the more experienced we become. 10+ years of coxing more and more experienced crews made me complacent about a lot of the basic stuff. It wasn’t until I started coaching novices that I had to really go back and think about each individual step so that I could break everything down into individual parts so that they’d understand what I was trying to communicate. You really do have to spell out everything for them in the beginning. Is it time consuming and kinda annoying? Obviously, but it pays off in the end.

I’m one of the most impatient people on the planet and I get frustrated very easily when things that seem like common sense to me appear not to be to other people. With novices, everything we think is common sense isn’t to them. You have to be patient and work with them but I promise you that when it clicks and they finally get it, you experience a really rewarding sense of accomplishment, not only for them but for yourself too.

As much as I enjoy snarking on novices for the silly things they say and do (and man, do they say and do some seriously snark-worthy things…), ultimately that doesn’t do anything to help them get better. If they’re (hopefully) working hard to get better we should be working just as hard to help get them develop their skills and become competitive athletes. You most likely had someone like that when you were a novice so now it’s your responsibility to go be that person for someone else.”

I won’t elaborate any more on this since I think I covered everything pretty well already but what I hope you guys will take away from this is what I said in the last paragraph. That doesn’t mean you have to stop getting amusement out of the things novices do – I know I never will – but at least guide them towards the right way of doing things instead of just posting about it on the internet.

Image via // @lucerneregatta

College Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow January 21, 2014

A coach reached out to me a couple months ago and we emailed and talked on the phone for a couple of weeks. I sent him an email about a week ago just to check in, give him an update, and reassure interest. How long should I wait for a reply? When we spoke before it was no longer than two days between emails so I didn’t know if it was weird that things were moving slower or if most seasons are just starting to pick up now.

Right now most teams are returning from winter break/training camp and getting back into the swing of things with school and stuff. I wouldn’t worry too much right now about not hearing back from him right away. Plus, if you didn’t include anything that he thought warranted a reply (i.e. you didn’t ask any questions or anything) then he might have just looked at your email, said “great!”, and filed it away for later. If you did ask him a question, especially if it’s time-sensitive, maybe give it another week or so and send a short follow up with the original email attached below the new one and just say “Hi Coach, just wanted to follow up on the email I sent last week. I know you’re probably busy with XYZ but I wanted to get your opinion/some advice/some insight on _____. Looking forward to hearing from you!” and leave it at that.

Even if you don’t hear back from him, I’d continue to send emails (maybe once a month at most) to update him on any progress you’ve made with the university (such as being accepted, deciding on a major and wondering if anyone else on the team has also majored in it/what their experiences were/how tough was it to handle the academic requirements of said major while on the team, etc.), your plans to come visit campus, any PR milestones erg wise (especially if you’re planning on going to CRASH-Bs next month or participating in any of their satellite events), as well as your race results once the season rolls around.

Moral of the story is don’t take it personally and don’t worry too much about it. Keep him updated on your progress and go from there. If you have a question or something you want to know about, CC the assistant coach (almost always also listed as the recruiting coordinator) on the email if that’s not who you’ve already been talking with. It tends to be their responsibility to deal with the incoming freshmen and all their questions so you might get a quicker response from them than you would from the head coach.

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow January 15, 2014

I recently joined a novice girls crew team because they needed a freshman coxswain. This team allows 8th grade rowers from the local middle school to participate as well. When I joined there were already three 8th grades coxswains, but the coaches were so desperate for a freshman cox they were willing to take me, even though I am 5′ 4” or 5′ 5” (but I only weigh 98lbs). The coach has taken a shine to me because I can erg well, do workouts with the rowers, and have picked up coxing very quickly. When we have been doing exercises where our coach puts us in boat groups I have been getting the better rowers. Although the rowers seem to like me, this has generated some resentment from the coxswains. You seemed to have given good advice about winning over rowers and I was wondering how I might win over the other coxswains on my team.

Whenever I hear about a coxswain being resented by his/her fellow coxes I assume it’s because of one of two reasons. One, Coxswain A is doing what’s asked of them (and what isn’t, which is sometimes more important) by the coaches, gets along well with the team, and makes an active effort to learn and get better. Coxswains B, C, and D all show up and do the bare minimum so they think that Coxswain A is sucking up or purposely trying to make them look bad when actually, he/she is doing exactly what they should be doing. The second thing is that Coxswain A does everything I just listed but instead of being… normal … about it, they rub the other coxswains’ faces in it (sometimes subtly, other times blatantly) and act superior about everything. Either of those two things combined with typical 13-17 year old high school behavior and you’ve got a recipe for dramaaa.

As a coxswain, winning over another coxswain is harder than winning over a rower. I don’t know what it is but that just seems to always be the case. Think of it like cats and dogs with rowers being the dogs and coxswains being the cats. Rowers will be your friend and listen to what you say as long as you’re nice, don’t yell, and bring them food on a regular basis. Coxswains, on the other hand, make you work for their affection. They’re cunning, occasionally territorial, not a fan of sudden movements, and most likely plotting some kind of world domination. Like cats, it can take a while for them to warm up to you. Be friendly, interact with them (not just with the rowers) but don’t force the intercation, ask them for help every now and then (even if you don’t need it, say, like when you’re running a circuit or something), invite them to erg or do the workouts with you, etc. It’s not your job/responsibility to make them like you – that’s on them if they choose to do so – but like I’ve said before, you’re all on the same team thus you should at least be cordial with one another, regardless of whether you’re actually friends. If their only reason for disliking you is because you’re doing what the coaches are asking and as a result are getting the top boats because of it, well, maybe they should consider upping their game instead of standing on the sidelines being resentful.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow January 15, 2014

Our cox steered our boat into a tree today (the river has been high since the floods so there were strong currents; it’s not really her fault) but our coach had a proper go at her and said she should apologise to me (I was at bow) for being hit by a tree but I really don’t want to make a big deal of it as she’s my friend even outside of rowing. What should I do?

I’m all for keeping coxswains accountable when they make a mistake but there’s no need to make it a bigger deal than it is or make them feel worse than they already do (and trust me, if they’re a good coxswain who knows what they’re doing, they will feel bad). If your coach already said something to her then there’s a good chance that she feels a bit guilty that her friend got whacked by a tree, so if/when she apologizes just accept it and move on. Let her know that you know that the circumstances were a little out of her control so she (hopefully) did the best she could at the time. Accidents happen. If she’s got an otherwise good track record as far as steering goes, chalk this one up to factors outside her control and let that be the end of it. Keep things lighthearted but reserve the right to bring up “that time you steered us into a tree and I got a branch to the back of the head” at least once a season for the rest of your time in school.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow January 11, 2014

Thoughts on stroke seats yelling at coxswains and telling them to do things during pieces?

I’ve got a few.

Novice coxswain + novice stroke

Unnecessary because it’s pretty likely that the stroke is just as clueless as the coxswain and is just trying to be a badass because they Googled “personalities in an eight” and read that strokes have big egos. When they’re both equally inexperienced novices, there’s very little reason for the stroke to be telling the coxswain how to do anything.

Novice coxswain + experienced stroke

I’m OK with this as long as the stroke understands the coxswain is a novice and doesn’t know very much yet. Yelling isn’t cool but “guiding” them through what they could/should say or do is fine. The coxswain should interpret this as the stroke helping them learn and should make sure that they’re actually paying attention to what they’re saying so that they can make the calls on their own next time. If the coxswain gets pissed in this situation, I’d say they’re the ones that need to check their egos.

Experienced coxswain + novice stroke

Lol, no.

Experienced coxswain + experienced stroke

At this point when both people know what’s going on, the stroke telling the coxswain what to do can be looked at in one of two ways. One, as simple communication because they can feel things we can’t and their feedback is kind of important for certain calls or two, as overstepping their role. I don’t have a problem if during a piece my stroke says “ratio” or “let’s take a 10” or whatever because sometimes I’m focused on something else and can’t/don’t see or feel that the ratio might be off, so them saying that helps me focus on it for a second and make the appropriate call. If they say to take a 10 or something and I think it’s a good time to take one, I will. Almost every time this has happened to me I’ve been about two strokes away from calling a ten anyways, so it speaks more to how synced my stroke and I were than anything else. Other times I’ll either ignore them or say “not yet”. If you have a good relationship with your stroke, none of this should be an issue.

If, on the other hand, they start telling you how to do every little thing or start yelling at you to do what they want and what they think is right, that’s a problem. You’ll know the difference between communicating and overstepping if/when you experience it. It might be difficult to explain on paper but it’s not hard to tell the difference in the boat.

Ultimately, the coxswain is the one who decides what to say and what to call during pieces. If the rowers don’t like it, deal with it, it’s our job. Communicating with the stroke is important but when the stroke starts telling the coxswain every move they should make, that’s when the coxswain needs to regain control of the boat and tell the stroke to back off. There are exceptions to every rule but that’s how I feel about the majority of these scenarios.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow January 6, 2014

What was the best coxing/rowing advice you’ve ever gotten? And the best lesson you’ve learned?

Hmm, best advice I’ve gotten … it’s been a long time since someone’s given me good rowing-related advice. I think the one thing I’ve consistently heard from all the coaches I’ve had and worked with in the twenty years I’ve been playing sports is to never doubt yourself or your abilities. It’s cliche, I know, but the coaches who really mean it wouldn’t keep saying it if it weren’t true. It’s easy to let something insignificant crush your self-esteem and once you’re in that hole it takes way longer to get out than it did to get in. If you’re just starting out, it’s going to take time to learn how to do everything proficiently so you’ve got to trust the process and have the courage to be persistent. Once you’ve been at it for awhile you’ve got to remain confident in knowing that if you weren’t skilled, talented, etc. you wouldn’t have made it as far as you have. That’s the most basic fact there is when it comes to being an athlete.

The best lesson I’ve learned probably has to do with looking for coaching jobs (which I know doesn’t really apply to many people that read this). Without going into too many details, I’ve learned that if I have doubts about something, don’t say yes to it because I will end up bored and/or hating it. I’m definitely one of those people that needs to always be on the go and have active responsibilities or be in charge of something. For some reason people think I’m like, joking, when I say to pile on the work. The more work I have to do (that isn’t stupid trivial stuff), the better. I’m a very hands-on learner/worker so just sitting around watching stuff happen doesn’t work for me. I get bored very easily and once I get bored, I lose interest, regardless of how hard I try to stay engaged. It’s incredibly frustrating (indescribably so) when you’re given the impression that you’re going to get to do or be doing all of the things and then you end up doing none of the things. Consistently asking if there’s something I can do gets pretty old after awhile too.

Think of it like going to school where you expect to always be doing work, learning new concepts, etc. and instead you end up sitting in a quiet, empty room staring at the chalkboard day in and day out. Every so often the teacher will give you menial busy work to do but that takes ten minutes to complete and then you’re right back where you started. Going forwards, as more than one person has told me in the last several months, I need to just not be afraid to speak up and say exactly what I want and if that job can’t give it to me or I have doubts about whether or not it will, I have to pass it up because I know exactly how it’s going to turn out (even if that means turning down a really good opportunity or a paycheck).

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow December 22, 2013

Hello Kayleigh! I was wondering how you view the relationship of a coxswain to rowers. My main problem is that I’m friends with a lot of rowers I cox and I don’t want to lose them as friends, but I also want there to be mutual respect. How do you deal with this? Thanks! AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!

I was friends with a lot of the people I coxed too. In the beginning there’s always a weird period where they’re like “why are you being so bossy, calm down” and/or you tell them to do something and they just laugh it off because who are you to tell them what to do? Eventually though, provided they’re not total asshats and you’re not doing your best impersonation of your favorite dictator, they’ll recognize that you’re just trying to do your job which is lead them, give them instructions, etc. If they want to succeed it means respecting, listening to, and working with the coxswains. If you want to succeed it means respecting, listening to, and working with the rowers. Similarly to what I told the person in the post below, you’ve got to lead others as you would like to be led.

I don’t think the relationship between friends has to change just because one of you is a coxswain and the others are rowers. If you guys have issues, you can’t let it interfere with what’s going on at practice. That requires maturity on both sides, regardless of who’s “right” or “wrong”. You’ve also got to establish early on that if they’re doing something that warrants being called out (like goofing off, being a distraction, not putting in the work, doing something incorrectly, etc.) you’re going to say something, not because you’re being a bitch or a shitty friend but because the coaches expect you to keep the rowers under control and it’s part of your responsibilities as a coxswain.

If someone gets annoyed just because you asked them to do something, they need to grow up. On the flip side, you can’t get pissed at them if they tell you that you’re being overbearing, overly bossy, etc. This is part of the mutual respect thing you mentioned. In order to be able to give criticism, constructive or not, you’ve got to be able to take it in return.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow December 19, 2013

My transition from novice to varsity has been a nightmare. I was the top novice cox, but my coaches told me the highest they’d boat me was 3V b/c I’m a senior and they want to ‘invest’ in training younger coxes. My rowers from last year are on V8/JV8 & I never get to see them. I had a panic attack 2 weeks ago from being switched into the worst boat. There are too many coxes on the team & I feel like it doesn’t matter if I’m there or not. Is it time to quit? How should I tell my coaches/team?

Aw man, that sucks, I’m sorry. To an extent I guess I can understand the coaches wanting to “invest” in training the coxswains that will be able to race at the varsity level for more than one season but I don’t think that means you should just write off another coxswain just because they’re older. You should invest equal amounts of time in training all your coxswains, regardless of what year they’re in, and then decide what boat they’ll cox the same way you would any other time – evaluations, observations, etc. It’s really frustrating when it doesn’t work out that way. It doesn’t exactly put forth the message that “you’re a valuable part of the team”…instead it says “great, now that we’ve got somebody to throw in that boat we don’t really care about we won’t have to worry about putting any of our good coxswains in there”. Everybody needs to cox the 3V at some point, regardless of how good of a coxswain they are. It teaches humility and punches down the ego a bit, which is something that coxswains tend to need every so often.

If you don’t feel like you’re going to have any opportunities to compete for the V8+ or JV8+ and that your time isn’t being well spent while you’re at practice then I would say you have a good reason to talk to your coaches. If you think those reasons are good enough reasons to walk away from the sport, then that’s your choice. I’d think about the next few months, getting ready for college, all that fun stuff, and ask yourself if crew is going to be “good stress” on top of all of that or if it’s going to be something that causes “bad stress”. You don’t have to say anything to the “team” if you don’t want to. If you just want to tell your friends that you don’t feel like crew is working out for you, then do that. I’d save all your actual reasons for your coach(es) and tell them the same thing, although maybe elaborate a little more so that they understand that you have legitimate reasons for quitting and that you’re not just throwing a temper tantrum because you’re not getting the boat you want.

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow December 15, 2013

Our team (high school varsity men) has two captains, me (the coxswain) and “Jim”, one of the fastest heavyweights. Our coach has a full-time job in addition to coaching us so a lot of the responsibility falls on the captains. I know that I was elected mostly based on my organizational abilities and so I expected to assume a lot of the work on that end, but Jim has barely done anything all year. I have to organize every captain’s practice and outside workout, even though I’m just a coxswain and honestly don’t know too much about weightlifting or whatever (Jim told me he would once but backed out at the last minute) and I’m always the one who has to manage everything at regattas, events, etc. The only exceptions are “fun” activities – gingerbread house, laser tag, team t-shirts are the only things he’s managed himself. His attendance is pretty mediocre too, which really undercuts the message our coach and I are trying to promote about good attendance and hard work at every practice.

I’m exhausted trying to juggle it all but I worry that if I don’t do everything myself it simply won’t get done. What could I say to him so that he’ll step up a little and take some of the pressure off? As far as I can tell he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong.

Have you talked to Jim one-on-one at all? If you haven’t, I would do that as soon as you can and just tell him straight up that you guys were both elected as captains but it feels like you’ve been doing a lot of the work that should have been split between the two of you. I wouldn’t outright accuse him of not doing anything though because that’d probably end poorly. Instead just say that if he’s got a lot of stuff going on outside of crew that’s preventing him from helping you organize stuff then that’s totally understandable but he needs to tell you that so that you’re aware that he’s not just blowing you off. See if you can work something out where you equally divide up the things that need to be done so that you both have your own specific responsibilities. Write it down so that there’s no question later on in the season who’s in charge of what. That always works best for me. Also make it a rule/common courtesy that if one of you have to pull out of your commitment that you try and give at least 24-48hrs notice to the other person.

It’s possible that the reason why he’s not doing anything (and why he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong) is because no one’s given him a specific responsibility and/or it’s not something the two of you have discussed. I’ve been in that position before and gotten screwed because I ended up looking lazy or disinterested when in reality I wasn’t aware that I needed to be doing anything. I don’t think people should always be expected to come ask/beg for some responsibilities so I wouldn’t necessarily hold this against him.

Plus, everyone has different strengths. He probably knows that you’re good with the organizational stuff and might think that everything that’s needed to be done so far falls under that category so naturally, you’ll handle it. I’ve done that before too – if there’s something that needs to be done that I don’t think fits with my specific skills set but looks like it might fit someone else’s, I just assume they’ll do it. Sometimes its plays out this way and they do it but other times it doesn’t get done at all because we never communicated about it. If you’re comfortable with the organizational stuff, you can be in charge of (for example) making sure everything is loaded on the trailers, dealing with team paperwork, and basic equipment upkeep. He can be in charge of talking with your coach about the workouts, setting up captain’s practices/outside workouts, and communicating the dates/times to the team, in addition to organizing team activities (which, since he’s been doing, might be something that he enjoys … or it’s easy to do but whatever, as long as it gets done).

It can be frustrating feeling like everything is falling on your shoulders but communication with the other involved parties is usually all it takes to balance the responsibility load. If you do that and still don’t see a change, try talking to your coach while avoiding completely throwing Jim under the bus. If he’s got mediocre attendance and your coach is aware of that, I’d bring that up. That isn’t throwing him under the bus, it’s more so just restating what your coach already knows. I’d even pose the question to Jim if he even wants to be team captain. Like, yea it’s cool to tell college coaches that you were team captain but if you didn’t actually do anything to back up the title, what’s the point? If things don’t seem to change after you talk to him, talk to your coach and say that, for whatever reason, it doesn’t seem like he’s embracing the role and that the things that you should both be doing you end up doing yourself and it’s getting on your nerves. Let your coach take it from there and deal with the situation.

I’d really encourage you to try to find a way to work with Jim though before you do this. Give it a month or so then proceed as necessary. If Jim does step up and start acting like a team captain, make sure you acknowledge it and say “hey man, thanks for all your help the last few weeks”. Little things like that can really motivate someone to continue helping you out. If he feels like he’s stepping up but not getting any recognition for it (whether it’s deserved or not), he might fall back into his previous routine of doing nothing.

I’ve touched on the “team captain” topic a couple times so you might read through some of those posts and see if they might give you some ideas on how to talk/work with Jim and be the best captain you can be for your team.