Category: Teammates & Coaches

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I am a coxswain on a competitive women’s varsity team. Today at practice my coach screamed at me for every little mistake I made. Everything from not making my boat turn fast enough (ports were rowing and starboards were backing!) to drifting a bit to the shore side during a piece. After practice she pulled me aside and proceeded to list off every single error I made, I nodded and agreed to make changes and focus more on the water She then was like what happened to your boat today? (Even though we won each 3 min piece by open water) I explained to her what we were working on and how they were responding to my calls. She then said that my boat shouldn’t have been going faster than the other boat but something I did was working and she didn’t understand b/c it couldn’t possibly be that I was a better coxswain. I didn’t know what to say. I feel like she hates me? Should I do anything or just work harder?

What the hell … it couldn’t possibly be because of you?? That’s so rude! I wonder what she would say if someone said when you guys win races this season that it can’t possibly be because of her coaching. I don’t even understand why a coach would say that.

In situations like that, there’s really nothing you can say or do that will please your coach. You definitely don’t have to agree with what they’re saying but you do have to know when to bite your tongue and just say “I’ll keep working harder”. Before you go out tomorrow, gather your boat and have a quick talk with them. Tell them that the coach said something to you about turning the boat too slowly so today we need to work on getting it turned around faster (regardless of whether or not you were actually turning it slowly). Explain to them what your coach said, even if it didn’t have much to do with them, just so they understand why you might seem tense or slightly more pushy to get things done on the water. Ideally they would recognize the issue and work with you to help appease your coach, since you’re an important part of the crew too. Make sure they understand that they need to be focused, on top of their game, etc. when they’re on the water – don’t give your coach any reason to say anything negative to you.

Stay on top of your game too. Don’t let this incident rattle you or make you question yourself. If she keeps doing this, I’d consider maybe having a sit-down conversation with her to figure out what her problem is. If it was just a one time thing, maybe she was just having a shitty day and needed to take it out on someone. You never know. Unless you specifically did something that would give her a reason to be legitimately pissed at you I would just listen to what she said, make note of what she wants you to do better, faster, etc., and then go out and do that at your next practice.

Coxing Novice Q&A Rowing Teammates & Coaches

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Do you ever do the “tchaa” thing that you hear Olympic coxes do a lot? Also if you’re an experienced rower in a boat with a new coxswain who just doesn’t know how to make calls or have a good boat voice (she shouts over the cox box), what do you suggest we do? I don’t want to be rude to her or anything, I just want to help.

I do! I started doing it when I was a junior in high school. For a while I resisted because I thought I sounded stupid when I said it but it eventually became one of my regular calls, usually during steady state pieces when we’re just going for long, powerful strokes.

As experienced rowers, I don’t want to go so far as to say it’s your responsibility to help her out, but in a way it is because you’re the older rowers on the team. Novices look up to you for insight and leadership. I would maybe grab one or two of the experienced coxswains and ask them to work with her and teach her what they know but there’s nothing wrong with you telling her she doesn’t need to yell into the mic (huge pet peeve of mine when novices do this), this is how calls should sound, etc. Let the other coxswains do the majority of the teaching but if the opportunity arises on the water to say something, do it. I don’t really recommend doing this though unless you’re the stroke or 7 seat. Even 7 seat is a little iffy. The reason I say that is because then it becomes either a game of telephone going down the boat or you have to yell to make her hear you and your yelling to be heard can be misconstrued by her as you actually yelling at her. Even if you’re constructively criticizing someone, yelling it so the whole river can hear it makes the other person incredibly uncomfortable.

Don’t forget, she’s still a novice. At least for the time being give her the benefit of the doubt. Before your next practice, remind her to talk normally into the mic (show her the speakers to make your point if you have to) because when she yells, it dilutes what she’s saying and irritates the rowers. Try not to get too annoyed with her though (way easier said than done, I know) – instead, be friendly and helpful when you can. Offering to help isn’t rude, it’s just the delivery of the help that can be interpreted as such.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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We don’t seat race coxswains on my team so our boating is based mostly off of what the coaches think, which normally is fair and just, but recently rowers have started voicing their opinions and a coxswain who just moved up to varsity this spring season has the V8 because the stroke seat said she liked the coxswain after one day. Is there anything I (a third year coxswain) can do about this? Or should I just focus on myself?

I definitely think you have a valid reason to talk with your coach but as I’ve said to everyone else that has had a similar issue, the goal here is to not prove why the other coxswain is unworthy, it’s to prove why you are worthy of the V8+. Talk yourself up instead of talking her down.

Ask your coach what they consider specifically when deciding who gets which boat. Ask them what they feel your strengths and weaknesses are and where they’d like to see improvements. If and when they ask you why you’re asking you can tell them that you’re a third year coxswain, obviously the V8+ is a goal (I’m assuming…?), and seeing a first year coxswain get it is motivating you to work harder. Simple as that. Keep the pissed off bitterness to yourself and let it come out in your coxing – I swear this is the whole reason why they let us yell and give us a microphone to do it into.

Also talk to the V8+ and ask them what they like about that coxswain. What does she do that resonates well with them? Talk to her as well. Just because she got the upper boat doesn’t mean she’s a crappy person or someone you can’t learn from and/or be friends (or at the very least, friendly) with. Even if/when you’re friends with each other, coxing is very much all about “keeping your friends close and your enemies closer”. There’s nothing wrong with that either, as long as you don’t get bitchy or catty about it.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hi, can I get a coach’s perspective? Every time our two 8+s do race pieces together and my boat’s a little behind, our head coach is always shouting through her loudspeaker for me, as the cox, to do/say something to get us even and pass. It doesn’t help that I’m in the “faster” boat. It gets me frustrated because it’s not like I’m not trying. What do I do? I’m definitely putting in 110% effort into my coxing but I’m just not sure anymore … what would you do in this situation? Thanks!

First, I would talk to your coach. If she’s constantly yelling at you to do something (which get’s irritating – been there, experienced that), there’s clearly something she wants to see and she thinks that eventually you’ll figure out what that is and do it. Talk to her and tell her what you’re doing, what you’re saying, etc. and then ask her for her thoughts. What does she think you should be saying that you’re not? Is she seeing something with the technique from the launch that is putting your crew at a disadvantage that you can make a call for? If she can’t give you answers to those questions, she’s just yelling to yell for no reason. I hesitate to say “ignore her when she does that” but if she can’t at least give you a reason for why she’s on your ass all the time, I’m not sure what else to suggest. If you’ve recorded yourself, give the clip to your coach and have her listen/critique it.

Related: My girls really like when I cox off of other boats, even if we’re just doing steady state. I’m in the 2V boat so they all want to beat the 1V at ALL times. I find it easy to cox when we’re next to another boat/in front of it. However, I never quite know what to say without being negative and annoying when we’re CLEARLY behind another boat. Yesterday afternoon we were practically three lengths behind the v1, and we STILL didn’t catch up even when they added a pause. What do I say at times like these? I always end up getting rather quiet since the overall attitude of my boat is pretty down. I feel like whenever I call a 10 or get into the piece at this point it does absolutely nothing, since my rowers have practically given up.

Secondly, talk to your rowers. When they get down like that, what are they thinking? What do they want to hear? What can you do to help them? Write everything down and then make an effort the next time you do pieces to incorporate some of what they said. Record yourself so you can hear what calls worked and what didn’t. Keep the ones that work and tweak or discard the others.

Don’t let your coach throw you off. I know it can be frustrating and distracting, but you’ve just got to find some way to tune her out and focus on your boat. There’s nothing wrong either with telling her that it throws you off when she’s yelling at you to do something to make the boat move. Coaches, especially ones that are/were rowers, tend to forget that there is no magic call or switch that we flip to make the boat go faster. We aren’t generating any power so if she wants to see the boat even up and pass the other crew, maybe she should focus her efforts on telling the rowers what to improve on instead of thinking that all of the changes have to come from the one person without an oar in their hand.

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hi! I’m a cox from PA. We don’t have very many people on our team so my coach told me I’m going to row for the spring season too. I’m 5’2 100 pounds. I’m not sure what 1k and 2k times I should be trying to get! My best 1k is 4:21! Also, I’ve been debating for a while whether or not to completely quit crew altogether. Trust me, I’m not a quitter, but I feel like my team hates me, and being around them 24/7 doesn’t really help my self-esteem. Some guys on the team always tell me I’m a worthless cox and that I’m useless to the team. It really hurts. I try to be the best I can be but I just don’t feel like it’s good enough. I’ve already gotten injuries 3 times this season due to poor training from my coaches. My mom says if I get another that I have to quit anyways. Next, being the lightest person on the team doesn’t help my case. I pull less than them and I’m just smaller in general. I can hardly contribute while carrying the boat down. Crew is also affecting my school. On top of all the stress I have from crew, I have honors classes to pertain to. I’m not sure what to do, but I’d really like your intake on my situation! Thanks!

This is another pet peeve of mine, when coaches make coxswains actually row. Yes, coxswains should get experience in a boat and they should know how to row but actually having coxswains, especially tiny people like you, row in races and stuff makes no sense to me. Like you said, you pull higher splits than them and you’re smaller in general so there’s no way you could possibly stack up to the people who are actually built to row. Coaches have to recognize that. Instead of sticking coxswains in boats to row, maybe they should make more of an effort to go out and find rowers. Shocking concept. I’m a firm believer that the role of coxswain and rower are not interchangeable and it really grinds my gears when coaches treat them like they are.

Related: Hi, I’m on a novice crew team and I’ve enjoyed it, but I want to quit. My team will have enough girls to fill an 8 but how do I let my coach know? I’m an engineering student and my schedule is too demanding for this sport. I know I’ll miss it but I need to focus on my schoolwork. Any advice?

I hate telling people to walk away from rowing, but I did it at one point so I’d be a hypocrite if I told you to stay with it even though it was making you miserable. If you’re not enjoying it, your teammates are assholes (and yours sound like they are), other more important responsibilities are falling to the wayside, you’re frequently getting injuries, you don’t feel like you’re contributing even when you’re making the effort, etc. then I would sit down with yourself and seriously ask yourself why you’re still there. I’m not a quitter either – I absolutely hate people who quit things – but sometimes there are legitimate reasons that warrant it and you have to swallow your pride and accept that.

When I was in school, I didn’t put anything above rowing. In high school I could put all my efforts into crew and still get good grades, so that’s what I did. In college I had to put all my efforts into crew and it screwed me, both mentally/emotionally and with school. Now that I’m done with all that (and maybe this is just attributed to 20/20 hindsight and being a few years older and wiser) I realize(d) that nothing should be put ahead of yourself and school, while you’re in it. I know we tend to act like crew is the be all, end all but it’s not. If you don’t have school to consider, you at least have to consider the effect it’s having on you. You have both school and yourself to think about and right now, both of those sound like they’re being negatively impacted.

Related: I’m debating with myself whether or not to quit coxing (at the end of the year of course, I would never quit midseason) and I was wondering if you could listen to my reasons and offer some advice?

It’s not even crew itself that I think is the problem for you, I think it’s more your coaches and “teammates” … and I say that with quotations because they don’t sound like what teammates should be, thus they don’t really deserve the title in my opinion. In the end it’s your decision, but you’ve got to make sure you look at the situation rationally and consider the effects/consequences on all the things I just talked about if you stick with it.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Our cox doesn’t talk to us when we are training in our quad. We have tried talking to her and also to our coach about it because it is so frustrating and asked her to talk during our rows but she just says that she feels stupid talking in practices and doesn’t change anything. She is brilliant in races, just not in practice. What can we do?

Find a new coxswain. I know that’s not your call but ask your coach to switch another coxswain in so you can actually have a productive practice.

Related: Advice from a coxes perspective would be great. I’ve been lucky enough to have the same cox for 2 years & he used to be amazing. Recently, it’s felt very much like he’s lost interest. He’s just in the boat, not part of the crew. He’s going through the motions. It makes it very hard to stay motivated, given everything else that’s crappy. He’s also coxing the elite men, maybe he sees them as his chance to win & we’re just the disorganized cranky old women he coxes sometimes. Should I call him on the change?

I don’t understand how you can not do anything in practices and still (think you’ll) be effective in races. If you’ve talked to her about it more than once and told her how irritating the lack of communication is and she hasn’t listened to your concerns yet, ask your coach for someone else, even if it’s just for a practice or two and not permanently. It bothers me when coxswains don’t talk during practices but it bothers me even more when they completely write off what their rowers are telling them they want. If she’s not going to at least make an effort, you shouldn’t feel bad at all about asking for a coxswain who will talk to you. Maybe seeing you guys make a change will be a wake up call for her.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches Training & Nutrition

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What’s your opinion about teammates drinking? Personally it kinda bothers me but I don’t know if I’m over reacting. I never drink because I just don’t think I need to in order to have fun but if other people want to that’s ok with me. It just bothers me when teammates are out drinking the night before practice or a race. I think it’s sorta disrespectful and just downright stupid especially since we’re high schoolers. If I was to address the situation how would you suggest doing so?

If people want to drink and stuff, by all means, that’s your prerogative and I’m certainly not going to stop you but it should really be kept to a minimum during the season – or not done at all (which I get is a lot to ask of college kids).  There’s a reason why a lot of college teams are “dry” in the spring and why there are consequences for anyone caught drinking during those periods. And yea, underage drinking isn’t the smartest decision but I’m not going to get on a pedestal and tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t do it … you should be able to figure that out on your own. If you can’t then you’re probably not mature enough to be the type of teammate this sport requires.

Related: What’s your opinion on rowers smoking/drinking? Do you think there can ever be a balance or should athletes just avoid it?

If you’re drinking before practice or a race and you show up hungover, you deserve to be taken out of the boat. Don’t think that people can’t tell that you’re hungover (or still drunk) either because they absolutely can. I’d find some way to make that clear to your teammates that if it’s suspected you’re hungover, you’re not rowing.

Related: Hi, I’m a novice coxswain for a men’s collegiate team. We have 3 8+’s and 4 coxswains so one person always has to sit out. During one of our races, the other novice coxswain got to cox 2 races while I had one. I don’t understand why the coaches picked her over me. She shows up to practice hungover, misses at least one practice a week, and has crashed the boat 5 times. The coaches keep commenting on how impressed they are with me but she always gets the better positions. Do I confront her? My coaches? Or should I shut my mouth and deal with it?

Unless you’re an upperclassman/team captain though, I’d caution against trying to address it with your teammates just because they could take it the wrong way and then there’d be all sorts of unnecessary drama happening. I’d discuss the issue with your coach (especially if they don’t know it’s happening) and then let them figure out the best way to handle it.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I’m debating with myself whether or not to quit coxing (at the end of the year of course, I would never quit midseason) and I was wondering if you could listen to my reasons and offer some advice?

1. Although I get incredible highs from coxing, I also get fucking awful lows. The lows aren’t beaten by the highs, I actually go into depression. I get really negative and self loathing.

2. It’s making me paranoid. I’m constantly paranoid about everything, other coxswains, coaches opinions, rowers opinions, and its driving me crazy.

3. Pressure. I feel this incredible pressure from everybody, everybody expects me to be this amazing cox but in reality I’m not, every time there’s a race I feel like I’m disappointing everybody, and however hard I’m trying to become better I feel like it’s not coming through.

4. Weight. I’m naturally about 92 lbs (or was last year) and everyone knows (coaches, rowers). Its become a source of teasing. Summer races are coming up, so I will need to weigh in. I’m paranoid that I’m going to be over and as a result of this I’m starting to cut down on how much I eat. My friends already say that I don’t eat enough but I’m just so worried I’ll be over.

I enjoy coxing, I enjoy winning (we rarely do though), I enjoy the training, I like the people, I like the coaches, I like the jokes. I’m just concerned about how this is affecting me psychologically, and making me this paranoid, negative person. Thank you.

When you’re involved in something, whether it be sports, a relationship, etc. and you start thinking all of that, it’s time to take a break. Not necessarily quitting but taking a pre-determined amount of time off to clear your head and look at things more rationally. Not that you’re being irrational right now, but when you’re consumed by something 24/7 you don’t look at it the same way as you do when your head is clear.

To address each of your reasons…

1. I’ve been in this position, so trust me, I get what you’re saying. I’ve definitely engaged in a little self-loathing behavior, especially if I get off the water knowing our practice didn’t got as well as it should have or that I could/should have done better. I try to never let myself get too low though because the last time I got to that point I completely walked away from rowing with no intent on ever returning. If you’re getting to the point where you’re actually experiencing depression-like symptoms, that’s not healthy and would definitely warrant taking some time away.

2. I think it’s OK to be a little paranoid but in the “aware of everything going on around you” sense, not the “conspiracy theory” sense, if that … makes sense. The opinions of the rowers and coaches are really important to me but I’ve definitely put more weight on them than they’re actually worth sometimes. The thing to keep in mind though is that you think about other people’s opinions of you way more often than they’re actually thinking about you. It’s good to care what they think but don’t dwell on it or try to find some hidden meaning in everything they say. Like you said, it starts to drive you crazy after awhile. If someone tells you good job, 99% of the time, they mean it. If someone asks you to do something differently, it doesn’t mean they hate you, think you suck, want you out of the boat, etc. They’re trying to think of ways to help the boat and obviously, as the coxswain, you are the catalyst for change, which is why they’re coming to you.

3. Most of the time, the pressure is a good thing. If you’re not feeling any pressure (the good kind) then where’s your motivation to get better? Unless people are pissed with you after a race, you made common sense mistakes that you know better than to make, etc. there’s no (or little) reason to feel like people are disappointed with you. People say “oh, don’t let the pressure get to you” but they tend to forget that the pressure we put on ourselves is way higher than most outside pressures. Sometimes though you do have to get away from everything so you can clear your head and alleviate not only the outside pressure but the pressure you’re putting on yourself too.

4. I hate when people tease you for your weight, regardless of whether you’re under, over, or at a normal weight. I weigh 95lbs and people make comments about it all. the. time. You don’t have to make negative comments about someone’s weight either for it to irritate them and most people don’t get that. You’re 18lbs under the minimum right now – being over it is not the end of the world. I’d venture a guess that about 85% of coxswains are over the minimum. For most people, it’s not realistic to weigh 110lbs – it’s definitely not realistic for me so I tend to not think about it. If you want to be the best coxswain for your boat, you have to take care of yourself. Don’t be that hypocritical coxswain who walks around preaching how the rowers need to do this and do that to be healthy yet look like a skeleton yourself.

If you have a good time and you enjoy the people you’re with, don’t let anything damper that. Based on #1 alone I’d say you definitely have cause for taking a break so if not rowing this summer is an option, I’d consider it. The summer is your time. For three months out of the year you aren’t in school, you aren’t obligated to any extracurricular activities, and you can do whatever you want. Don’t let your coaches or teammates guilt trip you into coxing this summer if you decide you want/need to take a break. If I was your coach, I’d tell you to take the time off and then come talk to me in August because – and don’t be offended by this – I don’t want someone coxing my boat who isn’t excited to be there, and right now you don’t sound excited about it.

Take the summer to clear your head completely before revisiting the idea of quitting. If you make the decision now it’ll be based more on all the feelings you’re currently experiencing instead of logical and rational thought, if that makes sense. The best comparison I can think of is when you break up with someone – the break ups that happen mid-argument always tend to be regretted in one way or another down the road vs. the ones that end after a mutual discussion and agreement. Sometime before school starts, look back on the spring and how you felt vs. how you feel now after having a break. You’ll either realize that you still feel the same way about coxing and maybe it’s best that you not do it anymore or you’ll feel rejuvenated and excited to get back on the water. Either way, the decision is completely yours and there is on right or wrong answer. Whatever you think is best for you is what you should do.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Do you think it’s wrong to sometimes correct a novice cox while being a novice rower myself? I don’t usually do it but in situations where we’re almost hitting something and she’s making the wrong call I sometimes can’t help myself. I definitely don’t want to undermine her but I also don’t want us to hit the bank for example. She doesn’t seem to get pissed off about it and sometimes even thanks me. But should I just shut up and let us hit things anyway?

Let’s say you and a friend had just gotten your driver’s licenses and you were in the car with your friend when he starts driving erratically, swerving side to side, and at one point nearly side swipes a parked car. You know he’s not being safe, but do you just carry on your normal conversation or do you, at some point, say “slow down”, “stop”, or “watch out”? Your natural reaction is to say “stop”. If something were to happen, you’d be involved too and at some point someone will ask you “well, if you saw he was about to hit something, why didn’t you tell him to watch out?”. If your safety was in question, would you just shut up and let him hit a guardrail, a tree, a person, etc. simply because you’d both only had your licenses for a short period of time?

Related: How to steer an eight or four

You can probably answer your own question so I’ll just leave it at that but I get why you’re asking though. There’s definitely people out there that believe people on the same “level” as them shouldn’t be offering up suggestions or corrections, which to an extent I agree with and understand, but this is not one of those situations. There’s a right way and a wrong way to go about it though, and that’s what makes the difference. If you were rude, pompous, etc. about it or tried to act as though you weren’t a novice too, that’s one thing. If you were polite, normal, and making a general suggestion for safety, like you are, or said something like “When we did the pick drill earlier, I think you forgot to do arms and bodies after arms only…”, there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when you start flat out telling them how drills should be called, how to steer, etc. That’s not OK unless you’re a coxswain too. I know this pisses rowers off because it tends to come back to “if they can tell me how to row, why can’t I tell them how to cox?” but the difference is that their job is to tell you how to row (in the general sense) whereas your job is to just row.

Your coxswain doesn’t seem to be bothered by what you’re saying, which is good. Since she’s a novice too, it’s possible that she might not see when she’s about to run into something which is probably why she’s thanking you. (Granted, the shore is kind of obvious, but regardless…) To an extent you’ve got to give her the benefit of the doubt because it is a little disorienting when you first start coxing and have to steer a 60ft. long boat when you aren’t able to ever see what’s directly in front of you. If you see you’re about to hit something or are getting close to the shore, another boat, etc., there’s nothing wrong with yelling out “Hey, there’s a log off starboard” or “Katie, we’re getting close to shore”. Don’t be annoying about it – yell it out once, make sure she heard you, and be done with it.

Related: It was commented on yesterday that I was ‘too quiet’. I think part of it is because I’m still concentrating so hard on the steering in an 8 (it’s a work in progress) that I forget the speaking part. Also, I’m coxing a boat with people in it who helped teach me to row so I struggle with the idea of ‘correcting’ them! I need to find my ability to motivate them, steer, and not panic about other boats around me. How do you multi-task when coxing? Any advice?

At some point though – and it’s questionable for everyone when the right time to do this is – you’ve got to be quiet and let them deal with shit on their own. The other issue I have with rowers telling coxswains stuff like this is that coxswains start to rely on it too much and when they hit something and no one says anything prior to it happening the coxswain will say “Why didn’t anyone say anything?? Coach, nobody told me I was about to hit anything!” to which my response will be “It’s not their responsibility to tell you how to steer, where to go, etc.”.

Going back to your friend and the car analogy, the minor swerves, too shallow/wide turns, etc. all come with the territory of being a new driver. Eventually they’ll get the hang of it and things will go a lot smoother. Until then, unless you’re that person (and seriously, don’t be that person) who freaks out and says “HOLYSHITOMGWE’REGONNADIE” every time they make a tiny move of the wheel, you can most likely be quiet for the majority of your drive. When there’s the potential for a collision to occur or the safety of the driver is in question, that is when should speak up. You’ve got to judge each situation appropriately and know when those times are.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hi, I’m a novice coxswain for a men’s collegiate team. We have 3 8+’s and 4 coxswains so one person always has to sit out. During one of our races, the other novice coxswain got to cox 2 races while I had one. I don’t understand why the coaches picked her over me. She shows up to practice hungover, misses at least one practice a week, and has crashed the boat 5 times. The coaches keep commenting on how impressed they are with me but she always gets the better positions. Do I confront her? My coaches? Or should I shut my mouth and deal with it?

I wouldn’t confront her directly about it but I wouldn’t stay quiet about it either. If all those things have really happened your coaches have to at least have an idea about it – there’s no way they can’t tell when she’s showing up hungover or haven’t seen/heard about her crashing the boat.

Related: What’s your opinion on rowers smoking/drinking? Do you think there can ever be a balance or should athletes just avoid it?

This is a tricky situation because it’s hard to confront your coaches about a decision they made regarding a teammate without sounding petty. I would find time to sit down with them just to talk about your progress so far. What have they seen you doing well, what would they like you to keep working on, what have you been working on, what your goals are for the season, etc. Talk about your race and casually ask them what went into the decisions on who was boated where or why some coxswains got to race more than once. It’s vague enough that you aren’t saying “why was she in that boat?” but it’ll also give you the opportunity to hear their rationale for why which coxswains were in which lineups. You can also ask if the coxswains will rotate in the future between who does two races and who done one should a situation like this arise again.

If they ask you why you’re asking, you can bring up that when you look at yourself vs. the other coxswains and take into account what the coaches are telling you about your performance, you’re confused because the boats/races you’re being put in don’t seem to measure up to the feedback you’re getting. Hopefully this will initiate a conversation and give them a chance to tell you why you are where you are.

I have to imagine that they’d want to know about this other coxswain showing up hungover, crashing boats, etc. if they somehow don’t already because it’s a safety issue at the very least. The issue is finding the right time to bring it up, which there hardly ever is one until it’s too late and then it comes to “well, if you knew, why didn’t you say something?”.

Do the varsity coxswains know about these issues? One thing you could do is talk to them first and then they can talk to her from an upperclassmen/team leader/fellow-but-more-experienced coxswain standpoint. If they feel it’s necessary to go to the coach, you can go with them or you can have them come with you, whichever makes you comfortable. That way you can say that you weren’t sure how to handle it because you know it’s not your place to do so so you wanted to talk to someone with higher standing first but they thought it’d be best to go  directly to the you, the head coach. From there you can let them deal with it.