Category: Teammates & Coaches

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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As a coach, how do you approach the quiet ones? You know, those kids who always just kinda smile and nod? I can figure out almost all my rowers personalities but I don’t know how to make the one open up. She’s a hard worker and listens, I just feel like she tenses up around me. Perhaps I frighten her? Or is she maybe just a quiet kid?

I’ve coached and coxed a few people like that. One of my “things” as a coach is that I try to not act any differently around the kids than I do with anyone else. I feel like some coaches put on a front when they get to practice and act as though they have to make it known that they’re in charge, which tends to put a lot of people off, especially the shy ones. I don’t change how I act or my personality or anything like that – in my experience when coaches or professors have done that, it makes them way less approachable, so I just try to avoid doing that. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor too so I tend to make a lot of jokes and stuff when we’re on the water that ultimately ends up loosening everyone up pretty quickly – even the quiet ones.

Over the summer when I was coaching new people every two weeks, I’d try and spend some time the first day getting to know everyone and assessing their personalities. I knew almost immediately who the tough ones to crack were going to be so when we’d do stuff on the erg or when we’d get out in the boat, I’d ask them questions or point out something they were doing well and get really enthusiastic about it if they answered or demonstrated whatever we were doing correctly. Not like, fake enthusiastic, but genuinely excited. Sometimes hearing or seeing that they’re doing something right was all they’d need to break out of their shell.

On the other hand though, maybe being quiet and shy is just an inherent part of their personality, which means it’s something you’ve just gotta roll with. If they’re quiet and reserved to the point where it concerns you, I’d pull them off to the side after practice and ask them if everything is OK. I had to do this once over the summer and it was honestly so heartbreaking because the kid (almost to the point of tears) said that they didn’t want to be there, they wanted to be at a math or physics or … something like that … camp at MIT, but their parents said they had to play a sport so they’d been shuffling them to all sorts of sports camps all summer. The kid was absolutely miserable and there really was nothing I could do to make them enjoy being there so I just had to be as polite and upbeat as possible and accept the fact that this wasn’t something they were interested in. The only thing that really helped in that situation was if we were just standing around waiting to go out I’d ask them about what they were actually interested in. That got them talking and semi-happy, at least for a few minutes.

Another thing you could do if you know who her friends on the team are or if you see her parents regularly before/after practice is talk to them and ask if she’s normally this quiet. Getting some insight from people who know her well can help you get to know her better and figure out the best way to interact with her. That helped me over the summer – normally it’d be the parents approaching the coaches instead of the other way around, but either way it helped us a lot in getting to know the kids. The biggest thing is that you treat her like you do everyone else – don’t pay less attention to her just because she’s less outgoing than her teammates. Eventually/hopefully if she sees you’re making an effort to get to know her, she’ll open up.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Would coaches make good coxswains? Assuming they’d fit in the seat, they know the technique, run practices, are motivational, and know how to communicate to the rowers…

Ehhh … debatable. Personally, I think coxswains have more potential to be good coaches than coaches do to be good coxswains. For the record, I thought coxswains made good coaches before I started coaching because my best/favorite coach in high school was a coxswain and he was incredible.

The only reason I say coaches wouldn’t be good coxswains is because if coaches knew anything about coxing, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. Most coaches I know and have had have said “I don’t know anything about coxing … just go out and don’t hit anything”. I think that even though we both know the technique, how to run practice, etc. the delivery of that information is what makes the difference.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hey. I’m just beginning as a coxswain on the men’s team at a D3 college and had a question about the relationship between the captain and the coxswain. They’re both supposed to be leading the team, so where do their jobs differ? I understand that in the boat, of course, the coxswain is in charge but I was wondering more how you handle your relationship with the captain leadership-wise during practices, on land, for team affairs, other leadership functions aside from specifically coxing the boat, etc. How much captain control is too much? I’ve heard that coxswains are supposed to run practices when the coach isn’t around and during the offseason but my captain has been doing that. I realize I’m new so it makes sense, but if I weren’t, theoretically, is that atypical? Thanks for all of posting all of these things. It’s been really helpful.

This is a great question and not one that coaches think about too much when they appoint captains. There is HUGE potential for butting heads if the responsibilities and expectations of both the coxswain and captain aren’t clearly laid out ahead of time.

From my perspective, here’s a brief synopsis of what I think the roles of each are:

Coxswains

The role of the coxswain, like you said, is to lead their boat while they’re on the water and when mandated during on-land practices. In the boat, the only person with any authority is the coxswain (not counting the coach, obviously). It’s as simple as that. While the team is erging, they’ll take down times, cox the rowers if necessary, and observe. Sometimes the coach will also ask them to lead a body circuit or calisthenics or something. When it comes to actual rowing stuff, coxswains are by default the go-to person. It’s also their responsibility to set a good example for the rest of the team – showing up on time (don’t ever be late, EVER), making sure everything is clean and put away at the end of practice, having a good attitude (regardless of the current state of your team, practice, etc.), etc.

Captains

Not every team has captains, so on teams where there aren’t any, coxswains sometimes absorb those duties in addition to their own. When a team does have captains, I look at them as holding more of an “administrative” (yet still very important) role. There’s probably a better word for it but I’m drawing a blank if there is. A captain’s role is to be a leader when it comes to general team management – at team and/or parent meetings, the captains usually go to act as a voice for the entire team. That’s their biggest role, in my opinion. Sometimes they’ll also be in charge of things like finding fundraising opportunities, making sure everyone has their pre-season paperwork turned in, etc. It’s also their responsibility to maintain communication with the coach and pass along any information from him/her to the team, most commonly something like a change in practice time, date, or location.

During the winter months, usually in between finals before Christmas break and the time before winter training starts when you get back to campus, captains can also be in charge of holding practices for those wishing to workout. These are usually optional practices since everyone’s schedule is all over the place in December-January. They’re informal and most likely involve a text or Facebook message saying something along the lines of “The captains are heading to the gym at 1:30pm today for a quick lifting session if anyone wants to join!” In this case, they are in charge of practice since the coaches and coxswains aren’t present. Coxswains can still go but they’ll take a backseat in terms of who leads things. In addition to all of that, like the coxswains, they must also set a good example for the rest of the team. Their desire to always improve, commitment to their teammates, and enthusiasm for the sport and their team should never be questioned.

In terms of how much control is too much, I would say that if one person starts infringing on the responsibilities of another, that’s too much. If a captain starts trying to tell the coxswain what to do in the boat or the coxswain starts trying to take over as “voice of the team”, that is when a power struggle tends to happens. This is why if your team has captains, it’s imperative that either you two sit down and figure out who’s going to do what or your coach lays out a specific set of guidelines before captains are voted on stating exactly what their responsibilities are. Maintaining a good relationship between captains and coxswains will make practice a LOT better for everyone involved. If they’re constantly trying to one-up the other, they’re going to lose a lot of respect really fast from their teammates.

Related: I know coaches are always looking for “team leaders” but there’s this one girl on my team who TRIES to be a leader but is just ignorant & bossy. Inevitably, she only hurts herself by getting on her teammates & even coaches nerves. She’s leaving next year (along with a huge majority of my team) & I want to be an effective leader but I’m afraid of being annoying to underclassmen like this girl is to me. How do I lead w/o being bossy and making people want to straight up slap me in the face?

As a novice coxswain, I would look to both the varsity coxswains and your captain(s) as you learn how things are done on your team. It might seem like your captain is being pushy right now but it’s likely that they’re just trying to help ease you into things or the coach has given them the specific job of running off-season workouts. Either way, I wouldn’t worry too much about it right now. Talk with them and ask what their role on the team usually is and what can you expect for yours to be. Getting that clarified right away, as if I haven’t said it enough already, will make things much easier for both of you.

Related: As a coxswain, I guess you could say this is my first actual leadership position. I’ve had a little experience with being in charge of activities, but never the safety of a 30 thousand dollar boat … or people. What would you say makes an effective leader? Most people if they are, are born leaders. How would you bring that out of someone, if that’s even possible?

PS: If you’re a coxswain and a captain, make sure you keep your ego in check. The “Napoleon complex” thing is meant as a joke when it comes to coxswains so let’s not ruin it by becoming tyrannical, power hungry gremlins.

College Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I’m not sure if it’s like this at other colleges but our varsity and novice teams are separated. Winter and Spring season is supposed to mix novice and varsity, but our novice group feels as if the varsity is “stuck up”, as if they don’t remember their novice year [at some point in their life]. There are a few that are super nice and helpful but the others scorn or just don’t talk to us. Do you have any advice on handling it? Or are we too sensitive – maybe we’ll bond later on?

I think many of us felt this way when we were freshmen too – Syracuse was similar in how they separated the novice and varsity teams. Normally the winter training trip is used as a big bonding sesh between the varsity and novices so you’ve got that to look forward to. In time, I think everyone gets to know each other better by default but it does take some effort on both parts. Try to plan some events together, whether it be dinner at someone’s apartment, a party with the other teams, etc. and see if that helps.

From the novice’s perspective, I’d start the season with a clean slate and just try talking with them. It doesn’t have to be a huge gab-fest or anything, just something like “hey, how’d your row go” or “did you have professor _____ when you were a freshman?” or just something super casual like that. It’s simple stuff but it initiates interaction between you two. If they still act bitchy and don’t talk to you … honestly, I’d just say “their loss” and stick with the ones who are nice to you and who you enjoy being around. I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive – situations like this can be frustrating for everyone, but more so when you constantly have to be around the same people.

Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Our coach had the novice 8+ row with two varsity 8s today. Coach focused on the two varsity boats and paid no attention to our novice boat. My rowers were really frustrated because she told them they can’t mix with varsity rowing until they know how to row but they feel like if there’s no direction and if they can’t row with the varsity they won’t learn anything. My opinion is that the coach wants them to know what it feels like to do the varsity workouts 1st. From a coach’s point of view, what do you think?

Interesting situation. I get what your coach is saying but I don’t understand why she’d take you out with the varsity and then completely ignore you. That seems counter-productive. Based on their frustration, it sounds like a chat with your coach might be in order. As their coxswain, it’s your job to act as the go-to person between the boat and your coach, so I’d talk to her either before or after practice and explain that the rowers are frustrated/confused/whatever emotion best describes them because they felt like they were totally ignored when they went out with the varsity boats and they feel like when they’re not getting any instruction, their rowing isn’t improving. Hopefully she’ll be able to give you some insight into her thought process.

I’d also ask her if there are days when she wants you to go out with the other boats but knows that her focus will be on the varsity, can she give you a workout to do on your own and then she can come check up on you intermittently throughout practice. That way the rowers can still feel like they’re accomplishing something without the coach being around. That would also make you look good too – every coach loves a coxswain who takes initiative.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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What is your opinion on crew relationships? I feel like if they work out that it’s great, but if they end it’s extremely awkward because you’re at crew EVERY SINGLE DAY. I ask this because I like a guy at my rowing club, who liked my best friend. Liked being the keyword: she never had feelings for him that way and friendzoned him. Yes, I know you aren’t a matchmaker or anything like that but you know a lot about crew!

As long as you’re mature about it and can separate your relationship from crew, then you’ll be fine. Problems arise when you bring your relationship into the boat with you or let it affect your performance. If you come to practice crying, fighting, or just in an overall shitty mood because of something that happened between the two of you, that’s when you need to start re-evaluating things. It can be awkward if/when it ends, especially if you went out for awhile or got friend-zoned like the guy you know did, but you really just have to be mature about it and move on.

College Q&A Recruiting Teammates & Coaches

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Let’s say I want to be recruited onto a D1 college team. I just emailed the coaches, how long should I expect to wait until I get a response back? Will they email everyone back the first time or only the ones they’re interested in?

When I was emailing coaches I think I heard back from the schools I was planning to visit within a few days but all within two weeks max. I don’t know if that’s because they were interested in me too or if it was because I’d mentioned I was going to be on campus and would like to meet with them or what. Everyone’s experience is different and it really depends on the coaches you email but I’d say give it at least two weeks. Just be aware of when during the season you’re emailing them. If they’re preparing for a big race (like HOCR, Sprints, conference championships, etc.), traveling, on a training trip, etc. then the response time may be a little longer.

Related: Hey, I’m a senior in high school. I’m a coxswain and my coach said that I should email coaches to let them know that I’m interested in joining the team, do you have any advice as to what I should do/say in the emails?

One thing you can/should do that would probably get you a faster response is if you filled out the recruiting forms that are on the school’s athlete website (usually on the team page). They’re just gonna ask you to fill it out anyways so doing it before you email them just saves time and shows the coaches that you’ve done your homework and looked into the process, the team, etc. before reaching out.

Ergs Teammates & Coaches

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Our coach wants us to be pulling miracle splits but that doesn’t happen most of the time! And even though we all work hard, we don’t impress her enough. What can we be doing better on the erg?

At this point, instead of focusing on what you can do better, I’d first try to talk with your coach, either individually or with the rest of your team. As always, approach the situation maturely and respectfully. Don’t be accusatory but make your feelings known. Explain how you feel as though you’re working hard and pulling good times but you don’t feel like she agrees since she is always unimpressed with your scores. Get some feedback from her on why she expects you to be pulling the splits that she does. Is she trying to motivate you to constantly do better or is she just randomly picking out numbers that she thinks you should be able to pull? The latter sometimes happen with new coaches who aren’t sure of their rowers abilities yet – I know I’ve been guilty of it until I’ve gotten to know my rowers and seen what’s realistic to expect of them.

If she’s trying to be motivational, which I can understand in a way if that’s her intent, I’d explain that it’s not really working. Ask for feedback on your individual technique and what you can do better so that you can work towards pulling the splits that she’s looking for. Take that into consideration and try to implement her suggestions the next time you hop on the erg.

If you and your team truly are working hard and performing well on the ergs, there’s really no reason why she shouldn’t be impressed with your efforts thus far. There’s nothing wrong with expecting more of your team and continually raising your expectations as improvements are made, but those expectations need to be realistic based on your age, skill level, fitness, etc.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Going off a previously asked question, in your experience if you called a specific rower out then after practice went and made sure you two were OK/on the same page, do you think that would help them not be as pissy about it?

It depends on the situation. If I can tell they’re in a bad mood because of it then I might say something just because it can help minimize any bad feelings there might be on their end. If it seems like they’re getting frustrated at me because I’m calling them out then I’d take them aside after practice and make it clear that I’m not “calling them out” for any reason other than it’s purely part of the job.

Related: In the boat, when you’re calling a rower out to make a change, is it better to call them by their seat or name? A rower told me that by using a name it puts them on the spot – but isn’t that the point to make a change?

I’ve definitely coxed and coached people that I really did not like but as soon as I got in the boat I tried as hard as I could to neutralize any personal feelings I had for them so I knew that when I called them out, it was rowing related and not personal. I might apologize if it seemed like I was focusing on them more than any of the other rowers but I certainly wouldn’t apologize for pushing them or staying on them to make the changes that I or the coach are asking for.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hey there! Basically, my team lost all of their coxswains for the fall season, so I got bamboozled into coxing the Varsity A boat at the Charles with only 2.5 weeks of experience. So now winter training is in full swing and the novice team found a coxswain who coxed all four years of high school. The varsity guys are thinking about “stealing” her as their coxswain instead. On one hand, I want the boys in my boat to win and if they could do better with her as their coxswain then I want what’s best for them. But on the other, I don’t want to lose them! I feel like I’ve improved so much over just one season and I’ve been doing tons and tons of research these past few months off the water to prepare for the spring. I don’t know what I can do to keep my spot at their coxswain. What are your thoughts?

I’d talk to them and your coach (either separately or together) and state your case. Why should you be the coxswain that gets to cox this boat? What about you makes you the better choice? I can definitely understand them wanting to have a more experienced coxswain – that’s pretty natural. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your boat though so I doubt their intentions are malicious. Like you said, they want what’s best for the boat and what’s going to help them win. There are some serious advantages to having an experienced coxswain in your boat but that’s not to say that the research you’ve been doing the last few months hasn’t upped your skill level.

Talk to the guys in your boat and ask them what about this other coxswain is more enticing to them. Don’t approach the subject like “why do you want her instead of me” because that’ll just give them a reason to not want you. Instead, approach it as “if she’s doing something well then I want to learn how to do it too so I can incorporate it into my coxing and get better”. Also talk with your coach and see what his criteria is for choosing coxswains for his boats. Again, state your case as to why your name should be in the mix. Hopefully your coach will see your enthusiasm and recognize the efforts you’ve been putting in during the off-season and keep you on his short list for coxing that boat. This could also be a good opportunity to do a coxswain evaluation so you can keep everyone’s feedback organized.

Related: How are coxswain evaluations conducted?

During the indoor months, show up to every practice, be on time (which means early), help take erg scores down, cox the guys on the erg when they need it, volunteer to run circuits, help clean the ergs down after practice (gross, but necessary), take lots of notes, assist the coach with anything he might need help with … in short, be engaged. If you tell your coach you want to be considered for this spot in the boat, you’ve gotta work for it. Part of working for it involves not being a wallflower during the winter. Assuming you’re not on the water yet, you have to display a different skill set to demonstrate what makes you a good coxswain. (Granted, this is stuff you should do after you’re assigned a boat too, not just during the process of getting one.) Stuff like this can earn you a lot of respect from the rowers, which is one of the most crucial parts of coxing.

Related: At the moment I have been doing quite well within my squad, I have been in the A boat (quad). I row for school and next term part way through the season we have a new rower joining us as one left. She is really tall and said her older brothers were quite good rowers. Today was her first time in a boat and she has never been on an erg. Is it possible that she could take “my” spot? This is my second season rowing and I am not very tall, 5’3. I am really worried she will!!

Ultimately though, the decision will most likely be up to the coach and whatever that decision is, you’ve got to respect it. If you don’t get to cox this boat, wish the other coxswain good luck, tell her what a great group of guys she has, and then throw your focus into your new boat. Approach them with the same enthusiasm as you would had you gotten to cox your other boat. Don’t make them feel like they’re your second choice – that’s a terrible way to start off the season and won’t do much for you in terms of gaining respect from the rowers.