I guess this is more a social life outside of rowing kind of question, but I’m in university rowing and there are a lot of socials which a lot of people attend. But, being in the UK, it’s all about getting drunk and partying etc, and I don’t particularly enjoy that so most of the time I feel left out and only go to the bigger ones (like Christmas ball) and have one glass. But I’m also a novice and want to meet people/seniors which is hard if you just go to practice. Do you have any advice?
When you go to the socials, try not to focus so much on the fact that you feel left out – instead, try and join in on some conversations if you see any happening, as well as look for anyone else who looks equally bored. There’s almost always someone else who is uncomfortable or feeling left out too that you can strike a conversation with.
If parties aren’t your thing, that’s OK! Take the initiative to try and organize something more low-key – maybe a team dinner at one of the senior’s apartments at the start of the year/season to get to know the new team members or a team activity to raise money for charity (an ergathon, triathlon, etc.). You’d be surprised how well you can get to know someone when you have to be on an organizing committee with them. You could also have once-a-month team get togethers … ideas for that could be each boat brings their favorite board/card game to play and you spend the night playing games, going on a restaurant crawl (drinks at one restaurant, appetizers at another, entree at another, desserts at another), etc. You could also look on Groupon or similar deal-sites to see if they have any good deals on stuff like rock climbing, laser tag, spa days & massages, etc. that you and some teammates can do.
Don’t be afraid to admit that parties aren’t your thing. If there is an upperclassman that you know fairly well, ask them for their advice … just say that parties aren’t your thing but you don’t want to seem anti-social or like you don’t want to get to know people, because you do. They might have some ideas for you too!
