I am a coxswain on a competitive women’s varsity team. Today at practice my coach screamed at me for every little mistake I made. Everything from not making my boat turn fast enough (ports were rowing and starboards were backing!) to drifting a bit to the shore side during a piece. After practice she pulled me aside and proceeded to list off every single error I made, I nodded and agreed to make changes and focus more on the water She then was like what happened to your boat today? (Even though we won each 3 min piece by open water) I explained to her what we were working on and how they were responding to my calls. She then said that my boat shouldn’t have been going faster than the other boat but something I did was working and she didn’t understand b/c it couldn’t possibly be that I was a better coxswain. I didn’t know what to say. I feel like she hates me? Should I do anything or just work harder?
What the hell … it couldn’t possibly be because of you?? That’s so rude! I wonder what she would say if someone said when you guys win races this season that it can’t possibly be because of her coaching. I don’t even understand why a coach would say that.
In situations like that, there’s really nothing you can say or do that will please your coach. You definitely don’t have to agree with what they’re saying but you do have to know when to bite your tongue and just say “I’ll keep working harder”. Before you go out tomorrow, gather your boat and have a quick talk with them. Tell them that the coach said something to you about turning the boat too slowly so today we need to work on getting it turned around faster (regardless of whether or not you were actually turning it slowly). Explain to them what your coach said, even if it didn’t have much to do with them, just so they understand why you might seem tense or slightly more pushy to get things done on the water. Ideally they would recognize the issue and work with you to help appease your coach, since you’re an important part of the crew too. Make sure they understand that they need to be focused, on top of their game, etc. when they’re on the water – don’t give your coach any reason to say anything negative to you.
Stay on top of your game too. Don’t let this incident rattle you or make you question yourself. If she keeps doing this, I’d consider maybe having a sit-down conversation with her to figure out what her problem is. If it was just a one time thing, maybe she was just having a shitty day and needed to take it out on someone. You never know. Unless you specifically did something that would give her a reason to be legitimately pissed at you I would just listen to what she said, make note of what she wants you to do better, faster, etc., and then go out and do that at your next practice.
