Our cox steered our boat into a tree today (the river has been high since the floods so there were strong currents; it’s not really her fault) but our coach had a proper go at her and said she should apologise to me (I was at bow) for being hit by a tree but I really don’t want to make a big deal of it as she’s my friend even outside of rowing. What should I do?
I’m all for keeping coxswains accountable when they make a mistake but there’s no need to make it a bigger deal than it is or make them feel worse than they already do (and trust me, if they’re a good coxswain who knows what they’re doing, they will feel bad). If your coach already said something to her then there’s a good chance that she feels a bit guilty that her friend got whacked by a tree, so if/when she apologizes just accept it and move on. Let her know that you know that the circumstances were a little out of her control so she (hopefully) did the best she could at the time. Accidents happen. If she’s got an otherwise good track record as far as steering goes, chalk this one up to factors outside her control and let that be the end of it. Keep things lighthearted but reserve the right to bring up “that time you steered us into a tree and I got a branch to the back of the head” at least once a season for the rest of your time in school.
