Hello!! First I just wanted to say that I am a high school novice cox and your blog has helped me so much. But I have a problem. My varsity/head coaches are so supportive and nice, but my novice coach isn’t. She has missed practice almost everyday for 3 weeks, and she flipped when I missed practice one day for an appointment that I had scheduled months in advance. She’s a good athletic coach who knows a lot about rowing and sports injuries, but not about feelings. At our last regatta my dad was talking to her. Today at practice in front of my whole team she blamed for the team’s loss. Considering the fact that she hasn’t been a real part of the team and then just shows up out of the blue, I think that’s part of what messed up the team. She came in and changed our start sequence and everything that we’ve learned. She kept knocking me down in front of the team. It got the point that I came home and cried for two hours. Everyone on my team calls her “a hero” because of how much she knows. I agree that she knows a lot about rowing, but not about coxing. What should I do?
Whoa. Personally, I automatically lose a lot of respect for any coach that calls someone out like that in front of the team, especially in a sport that is as team-oriented as rowing is. That’s just not cool. I can’t really even understand her frustration with you missing practice due to an appointment that was scheduled months in advance. If you’re a novice how likely was it that you knew you’d be doing crew when the appointment was made anyways? Regardless, it’s pretty hypocritical for her to be upset that you missed one practice if she’s not even consistently there.
If you’re not comfortable talking directly to her, I’d say that if you’ve got a good relationship with your head coaches, talk with them since that’s obviously who she’d report to hierarchy-wise. You could also have your dad there if you wanted since he talked with her at your regatta and might have addressed some of the issues you’ve been having. Explain the issue(s) to your coaches though and say that while it’s obvious that she knows her stuff about rowing, it’s coming across like she doesn’t understand much about coxing and it’s becoming very frustrating for you because instead of being coached you’re being blamed for team losses, etc. Hopefully from there either they can talk with her or have a group meeting with you and her. I would say outside of just ignoring the negative things she says, talking with them and hoping they can address things with her is probably your best/only option.
