What are your thoughts on female coxswains for male boats? In your experience, does this result in drama or awkward social situations? How about the role of a coxswain in bringing a team together? Do you feel that the leadership position that a cox holds on the water translates to off the water and the social dynamic of the team?

Here’s the thing about drama and awkward situations. People who want to cause drama or make shit awkward are going to cause drama and make shit awkward. Plain and simple. I am all for women coxing men’s boats provided they’re not coxing them solely to flirt with them and/or because they want to hang out with a bunch of hot guys who spend the majority of their time with their shirts off. If that’s why you want to cox men just GTFO because you’re not going to be a good coxswain. Forget about being effective, you just don’t have the right attitude going into it and I guarantee nobody wants to deal with that. Same thing applies to women who think they have to be super bossy (and not the good kind of bossy but the annoying elementary school kind of bossy) to get the guys to listen to her. I think they think they’re coming off as super confident and in charge but they’re not – all they’re doing is undermining themselves. Most of the time people are just going to wonder why you show up to practice with a stick up your ass every day rather than thinking “wow, look how confident and in control of her crew she is!”.

Related: All the girls on my team are pretty good about the no crewcest thing, except this one girl, who keeps hooking up with many of the guys on the team and the team is slowly dying as a result. I’ve told her this would happen, but she doesn’t seem to care. The coach can’t really do anything, as its always after practice hours. Also, I feel for her, the team is more of a place to get guys than to actually improve her rowing and get faster. Any advice?

That aside, as has been asked before in the posts linked above and below, if you’re dating or hooking up with somebody in your boat and things end poorly then that’s naturally going to be awkward because that’s how most breakups are. If you’re both adults and can handle the situation maturely where no one else (meaning the other people in the boat, the rest of the team, etc.) is being affected by your personal issues then great. Unfortunately that tends to be the exception, not the norm, hence why crewcest is pretty looked down upon.

Related: What’s your opinion of rowing couples/coxswain-rower couples? Especially teammates?

As far as the coxswain’s leadership position translating off the water … it depends on the team. Most of the time it does and coaches will look to them and the captains to act as the glue that keeps things together (both on and off the water) but other times the coxswain will naturally take a backseat leadership position off the water in order to allow the team captains to manage things. You’re not considered any less of a leader it’s just that you’re not the front-and-center leader like you are when you’re on the water, if that makes sense. That’s kind of how I’ve always looked at it.

Related: Hey. I’m just beginning as a coxswain on the men’s team at a D3 college and had a question about the relationship between the captain and the coxswain. They’re both supposed to be leading the team, so where do their jobs differ? I understand that in the boat, of course, the coxswain is in charge but I was wondering more how you handle your relationship with the captain leadership-wise during practices, on land, for team affairs, other leadership functions aside from specifically coxing the boat, etc. How much captain control is too much? I’ve heard that coxswains are supposed to run practices when the coach isn’t around and during the offseason but my captain has been doing that. I realize I’m new so it makes sense, but if I weren’t, theoretically, is that atypical? Thanks for all of posting all of these things. It’s been really helpful.

When it comes to on the water stuff or things like trailer loading where the coxswain is kind of instrumental in getting things done, that’s my time to shine. The rest of the time I’ll leave organizing team meetings, handling interpersonal issues (unless it’s within my own boat), etc. to the captains and I’ll step up and help as needed. I don’t think there’s really a right or wrong way to approach this though, as long as what you’re doing works for everyone involved.

Tags: coxswain defining the role of the coxswain leadership men qotd team captain team culture teammates