Tag: college

College Q&A Rowing Technique

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I’m a collegiate rower. I have excellent technique except for one thing – I don’t catch quickly enough. I am in time with the rest of the boat, but it’s the issue of going straight to the water and burying my blade completely before driving with my legs. Most of our boat has this issue. I’ve tried asking coaches how to remedy my issue, but they haven’t given me anything very effective yet. Do you have any advice? Please and thank you! I appreciate it.

The first thing that comes to mind is something as simple as just unweighting the handle. (This may be something your coaches have talked about in the past.) One of the biggest reasons why people are late at the catch isn’t because they’re doing anything wrong on the slide, it’s because they’re lifting the blade in rather than taking the weight off the handle and letting gravity do the work. Gravity will put the blade in at the speed it needs to go in at … anything we do to try make it go in faster is doing just the opposite.

You can’t have a good catch without having good body prep on the recovery, so make sure you’re really focusing on finishing clean, relaxing the upper body, getting the hands away at boat speed, bringing the body over smoothly, and coming up the slide controlled and determined. When you get to the catch don’t think about it – just do it. The more you think the more it messes with your head and the more likely you are to make a silly mistake. Ask your coach(es) and/or coxswains to pay particular attention to your catch timing one day at practice and then ask them for feedback afterwards. Make mental notes of what you did differently compared to before, why you made those changes, and how you think they helped you so you can go over all of that with your coach.

College Q&A

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How does a cox/rower know when/if it’s time to quit crew? Especially as a collegiate walk on. I want to make it the four years, but…

I think I’ve talked about this before but if you find that you’re asking yourself that question – when/if it’s time – then that’s probably a good indication that you’re already leaning in that direction.

If you’re not enjoying it as much as you thought you would, it’s interfering with school, work, or other extra-curriculars (specifically, the clubs that relate to your major/minor), your grades are suffering and/or school is taking a backseat in general, the environment isn’t great (due to teammate, coach, or culture issues), if you’re easily frustrated by what you’re doing or find yourself dreading waking up for practice (on a daily basis), etc., those would all be valid reasons as to reconsider being a part of the team. They were all things that went into my decision so I know the feeling. Crew requires an immense amount of commitment and not just with your time. You’re basically throwing your entire self into this sport, mind, body, and soul. That’s not easy for some people to do, and that’s 100% okay, but asking yourself if you’re able to fully make that commitment is something you have to be able to say “yes” to without hesitation.

Related: How did you balance crew, classwork, and a social life while you were in college?

There’s a little bit more leeway for walk-ons, I think, simply because they’re new to the sport and weren’t recruited, but either way I’d talk with your coach if you’re having doubts and see if anything they say sways you one way or the other. Don’t let them pressure you into staying if you don’t want to though.

College Q&A

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How bad would it be for a collegiate rower to take a few days off in the middle of the season for bad grades?? How do you go about asking your coach without head being ripped off / guilt tripped/ “not rowing’s fault”?

I don’t think it would be bad, per se, to take a few days off to get things under control, meet with your advisers and professors, take care of what needs to be done, etc. (as long as you actually do those things and don’t just sit around catching up on Netflix or whatever). Will your coach(es) and teammates be disappointed that you’re not there? Maybe, because it might affect the week’s lineups and practice plans. A huge aspect of demonstrating your commitment to your team is being able to manage your course load effectively so that it doesn’t end up negatively impacting you or your teammates. Spring season is essentially what you spend the whole year training for, which is one of the reasons why that school-crew balance is so important.

School comes first though and your coach should already know that. If they try and guilt trip you, that’s not really an indication (to me, at least) that they’re doing their job correctly. It might not be rowing’s “fault” but that’s not to say that it didn’t play a part. I would approach the subject with them (as soon as possible), explain your situation (in it’s entirety, leave nothing out), lay out a timeline for when you’ll be out and when you’ll be back, and be willing to offer and make some voluntary concessions. That might mean doing workouts on your own to make up for what you missed or giving up your seat to someone else/forfeiting a seat race but the more willing you are to work with your coach, (hopefully) the more willing they’ll be to work with you. Ultimately, communication is key.

Go to your professors’ office hours too and see if you can work out something with them. They might be willing to give you an extension on a paper or work out some kind of extra credit opportunity to help you out. Not all of them are that friendly, understanding, or courteous so don’t expect any favors or special treatment going in. Most teachers though don’t want to see you fail and will usually try to do something to help you. If you can do that before you talk with your coach, that might make things a little easier for you because it shows that you’re actually making a real effort to get things under control.

Coxswain Recordings, pt. 7

College Coxing High School Racing Recordings

Coxswain Recordings, pt. 7

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Oxford vs. Cambridge 2011 Boat Race

https://soundcloud.com/kpcc/olympic-sounds-boat-race-coxes

This is a short clip of Sam Winter-Levy (Oxford) and Liz Box (Cambridge) from the 2011 Boat Race. The thing to listen to is their tone and how they’re communicating their calls to each of their crews. One spot in particular is right at the beginning when there’s a clash of blades – nothing changes with her tone, she doesn’t fall apart, she just communicates what’s happening and moves through it without any loss of focus.

Abingdon vs. Belmont Hill 2009 Henley Royal Regatta princess elizabeth cup Quarter-final

At the start, good job telling the crew what’s happening as far as when your hand is up, when it’s down, that your timer is ready, etc. I feel like this helps keep the crew focused and prevents any surprises (like, “oh shit, we’re starting now!”). Maybe – maybe – overdid it by telling them about Belmont’s coxswain but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal considering there’s only one other crew there. Personally I probably would have just focused on what I was doing and only said “both coxswains’ hands are down” when I saw that we were both ready but it’s really not that big of a deal. I don’t think any crew has ever complained about their coxswain giving them too much information.

Right when the marshal says “attention”, you can see Belmont bury their blades just a tad. Look at their blades at 0:43 compared to 0:45. This is a good habit to get into practicing with your crew just so you can be positive that the blades are fully buried at the start and you’re able to get as much water on the face of the blade as possible. It also drastically reduces the likelihood that you’ll wash out on the first stroke.

The intensity in his voice off the line is solid. Take note guys, this is how a good start is called. The intonation at 0:57 when he’s saying “one, send, two, send…” is spot on. The catches are called with a sharp bite to them while the recoveries are a bit drawn out, just enough to remind the rowers to keep the slides long. Similarly, notice at 1:13 that coinciding with the shift in pace is a shift in his tone of voice? The intensity is subtle but it’s there even though the volume isn’t as high as it was a few strokes ago. Don’t get so caught up in coxing that you forget to talk to your crew.

At 3:33 he makes a call for a “…concerted effort for one minute…” If you remember Pete Cipollone’s HOCR recording, this is exactly like what he says when he calls for that one minute commitment through the Powerhouse Stretch. I think this is a great call – you should never be afraid to ask for, or at times demand, a commitment like this from your teammates. This is a strategic call though and not something you should just randomly call out for because you think it makes you sound like you know what you’re doing (novices). You’re essentially asking them for a power 10 except over the course of 60 seconds – it’s not always an easy thing to do which is why this should be used sparingly and only when necessary. Later when he says “level, now walk“, that’s where you finish the job that you started with the one minute commitment. If that was where you started to break them, this is where you finish it. Once you’re level, you don’t give up a single inch to that other crew. Commit and go.

I love the call he makes at 4:04 – “they went too hard, fucking punish them…” I obviously respect the crews I’m racing against because when it comes down to it we’re all doing the same thing but you can bet when we’re racing that I’m sure as hell not going to feel bad for them. If they make a mistake and I see it, I’m gonna nail them on it and do my absolute best to make sure it haunts them long after the race has ended. Watching the other crew(s) in addition to your own can be tough but it gives you the advantage of seeing when someone else messes up, which then gives you the opportunity to say “punish them” and really mean it.

Another thing to pay attention to is when he’s telling his crew where the other crew is. Abingdon is down for the majority of the race but I doubt any of the rowers ever felt defeated by him saying where Belmont was on them. Several times he’d say “they’re up half a length” or whatever the margin was but I don’t recall him ever saying that his crew was down. Other times he’d just say “half a length” without saying “up” or “down” at all. There’s a subtle bit of psychology there that I think is important to think about. If you hear that someone else is up it’s like, “ok, time to do some work to close the gap” but if you hear that you’re down it’s like “ugh, dammit, how are we gonna get out of this”. Think about the words that you’re using (another reason why recording yourself and planning ahead is important) and see if there are any subtle changes you could make that might affect your crew differently.

The last thing is at 4:45 when he calls for the “magna shuffle”. You can hear him at 4:46 call for the bow pair to get in quick and for the middle four to “lift”. Calling for the bow pair to go in quick isn’t necessarily saying “go in before everyone else”, it’s more so about being so spot on with the timing while erring towards being just the tiniest bit early (less than a nanosecond-tiny) in order to get the bow out of the water right at the catch. Lifting the bow like this makes it easier to accelerate the boat, which is what he’s asking for when he calls for the middle four to “lift”.

Another thing that helps “lift” the boat is making sure everyone is sitting up tall and is light on the seats. Lightness is key. Generally when the boat looks or feels heavy it’s because the bow isn’t coming out of the water at the catch (for whatever reason), which results in the rowers feeling like the load is heavier. Think of the bow being lifted up like you walking on your tiptoes through molasses. The lighter you are and the less you’re touching the molasses the easier it’ll be for you to traverse it, whereas if you were walking normally with your feet completely flat on the ground it’d be very difficult for you to move because there’s more surface area for the molasses to attach itself to which in turn increases the load you’re working against in order to move. Watch this video of the USA men’s 8+ and pay attention to the bow of the boat. Look at the difference between when they’re paddling and when they’re on. See how at the catch there’s just a little bit of daylight under the bow of the boat? That’s what I’m getting at.

Other calls I liked:

“Swing the waists into the headwind…” Good job reading the wind here and telling the crew how to react to it.

“Loose, long in the wind…”

“Now we’ve broken them, go, go, go…”

“On bowman, finish the fight…”

“I’m coming for you Belmont!”

You can find and listen to more recordings by checking out the “Coxswain Recordings” page.

Racing skills: 10 regatta tips for coxswains

College Coxing High School Novice Racing Rowing

Racing skills: 10 regatta tips for coxswains

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With the spring season kicking off this weekend, here are my top ten tips for coxswains to ensure you’re prepared for every regatta.

Take responsibility for your cox box

These things are expensive  – don’t let them out of your sight. Make sure they are clearly and visibly labelled with your name and/or your team name. Bring the charger home with you and fully charge it the night before your race. Also double check that you’ve got a working mic before you leave the boathouse.

Bring weight if you need it

Some regattas require coxswains to provide their own weight if they’re below the minimum. Check with your coach and see if the regattas you’re going to require this.

Have your recorder, notebook, and a pen

Make sure the batteries are charged and bring extras just in case. Have your notebook and a pen or two on hand so that you can throw together a quick recap of your race after you get off the water.

Wear the right clothes

The “right” clothes all depend on the conditions, but make sure that you are at least wearing clothes that display your school or team logo/colors. Don’t wear something that would make it impossible to identify you as a member of your team. Check the weather the night before and pack appropriately. Unless the weather is cloudless, no wind, and 85 degrees, you’ll probably get a little chilly on the water. Rainboots or Bean boots are another good thing to have on hand, particularly if it’s cold, raining, or has rained recently, that way you can keep your feet dry while slopping through a muddy race site.

Related: What to wear

Have several wrenches

One is necessary, multiple is preferred. Inevitably someone in your boat is going to say “I don’t have a wrench”, which only slows down the rigging process. Have extras on hand so you can share them with the rowers. Make sure they’re marked with your name though otherwise you might not get them back.

Review the course map before you race

The week of, or at the very least the day before, find a map of the race site and go over it. Look at the race course and see what identifiable landmarks you can point out, as well as where the meter marks are. Use this to help you form your race plan. Find out where your trailer is going to be in relation to where the docks are so you can determine the best way to get down there. Also locate where the coaches and coxswains meeting will be held.

Drink plenty of water and have a few cough drops on hand, just in case

I’m not a huge fan of cough drops but if it’s really cold or the air is dry then inevitably my throat will get kinda sore. I always try to make sure I drink a lot on race day but if I don’t have any water a cough drop is a good alternative (just not while you’re coxing – you’ll choke).

Related: How to protect your voice

Know when and where the coaches + coxswains meeting will be held

These aren’t optional. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been to the same regatta three years in a row and you know everything they say at the meeting forwards and backwards, you should still go. This year could be the year they’ve made a change with the traffic pattern and unless you’re there, you’re not going to know about it. There’s nothing more important that you need to be doing at the ungodly hours that coxswain meetings are held so you might as well go.

Show the novice coxswains around

Once you’ve been to the coxswains meeting, the boats are rigged, etc. take the novice coxswains on a quick tour and show them where all the important stuff is. Answer their questions, point out stuff about the race course, etc.

Keep track of your rowers

When you get on the bus, make them countdown from bow to stern. Tell them well ahead of time what time you’re meeting before your race, at the bus, for team meetings, etc. Have everyone’s phone numbers on hand so you can get a hold of them if someone is missing. If they want to go off during the down time, at least try to get an idea of where they’re going so you know where to look if you need to go find someone.

Image via // @avironfrance

College Coxing High School Q&A Training & Nutrition

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What differences are there between being a collegiate coxswain versus a coxswain for a high school level team? What would a typical practice session look like?

“Typical” depends on your program. How practices are run, what you do, etc. all differ between programs, sometimes even between boats on the same team. There are big differences between Division 1 schools (where I was) and Division 3 schools too. Your best bet is to talk to the coaches of the schools you’re looking at and ask them what a typical practice entails.

In general though, you’ll probably have somewhere between 7-10 water practices a week and a team lift 1-2x a week. Most teams practice in the morning (usually somewhere between 6-8:30am) every day with the occasional afternoon/evening row (usually between 5-7ish), with the team lifts happening during that same block on the days they’re not on the water. Some teams only practice in the morning, some teams only practice in the afternoon/evenings, some teams have the rowers do weights on their own instead of all at once, etc. It varies.

Practices usually consist of a warmup followed by some drills (sometimes the drills are the warmup) and then either some AT pieces or several miles of steady state. There were also some days where we would do nothing BUT drills or just a warm up and steady state. There are a lot of factors that go into deciding what you do during a practice (the two biggest being the weather and how many people you have = what boats you can take out), so most coaches have a general idea of what they’d like to do but that’s not always what actually ends up happening. Usually the further out they have something planned, the more likely it is to change (i.e. if you get your training schedule for the year in August, what’s on the calendar for April might not be exactly what you end up doing, though it’ll usually be close).

As far as coxing specifically in college vs. high school, I don’t think there are any real differences because you’ve still gotta do all the same stuff. The only difference I can think of is that you’re really expected to be at that next level. The coaches expect you to be more responsible, be more on top of your coxing game, etc. They really anticipate not having to worry about you when you’re on the water too, whereas in high school, your coaches are always terrified you’re gonna hit something or break something or whatever. Basically though college rowing vs. high school rowing is the same as college vs. high school in general – there’s more work involved, it takes up way more time, and for most people it’s way more fun.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches Training & Nutrition

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What’s your opinion about teammates drinking? Personally it kinda bothers me but I don’t know if I’m over reacting. I never drink because I just don’t think I need to in order to have fun but if other people want to that’s ok with me. It just bothers me when teammates are out drinking the night before practice or a race. I think it’s sorta disrespectful and just downright stupid especially since we’re high schoolers. If I was to address the situation how would you suggest doing so?

If people want to drink and stuff, by all means, that’s your prerogative and I’m certainly not going to stop you but it should really be kept to a minimum during the season – or not done at all (which I get is a lot to ask of college kids).  There’s a reason why a lot of college teams are “dry” in the spring and why there are consequences for anyone caught drinking during those periods. And yea, underage drinking isn’t the smartest decision but I’m not going to get on a pedestal and tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t do it … you should be able to figure that out on your own. If you can’t then you’re probably not mature enough to be the type of teammate this sport requires.

Related: What’s your opinion on rowers smoking/drinking? Do you think there can ever be a balance or should athletes just avoid it?

If you’re drinking before practice or a race and you show up hungover, you deserve to be taken out of the boat. Don’t think that people can’t tell that you’re hungover (or still drunk) either because they absolutely can. I’d find some way to make that clear to your teammates that if it’s suspected you’re hungover, you’re not rowing.

Related: Hi, I’m a novice coxswain for a men’s collegiate team. We have 3 8+’s and 4 coxswains so one person always has to sit out. During one of our races, the other novice coxswain got to cox 2 races while I had one. I don’t understand why the coaches picked her over me. She shows up to practice hungover, misses at least one practice a week, and has crashed the boat 5 times. The coaches keep commenting on how impressed they are with me but she always gets the better positions. Do I confront her? My coaches? Or should I shut my mouth and deal with it?

Unless you’re an upperclassman/team captain though, I’d caution against trying to address it with your teammates just because they could take it the wrong way and then there’d be all sorts of unnecessary drama happening. I’d discuss the issue with your coach (especially if they don’t know it’s happening) and then let them figure out the best way to handle it.

Summer rowing for collegiate athletes

College Rowing

Summer rowing for collegiate athletes

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If you’re a college rower or coxswain looking for ways to keep rowing (or at least stay connected to the sport) over the summer, here are a couple of options to look into.

U23, High Performance, or Pre-Elite camps

Look into well known, successful clubs (Riverside, Vesper, Penn AC, NYAC, Thompson Boat Center, Craftbury, etc.) to see what they offer over the summer. These athletes typically train several times a week, compete at Club Nationals, Canadian Henley, etc. Some of them require applications so make sure you see what the pre-req’s are first.

Related: Can you explain Canadian Henley to me? People keep telling me it’s a national team thing.

Discounted summer memberships

Some clubs offer discounted membership rates in the summer for undergrads. This typically allows you full membership benefits, so you can check out small boats, join the recreational programs, etc. during the months of June, July, and August.

Coach or be a camp counselor

Coaching is fun and it actually really helps your rowing. When you’re really breaking things down to explain the concepts to novices or even varsity high school athletes, it really makes you think about your own rowing or coxing. If your local boat club offers Learn to Row classes for adults or youths, go see if they need coaches. If you’re hanging around campus for the summer and are taking classes, ask your coach if you can ride along with him/her and help coach the high school camps that your team is hosting or be a counselor that helps chaperone the athletes. Most people I know that have done that also use the down time when the kids are on the water to take out small boats.

Related: What kind of rowing program do you recommend for someone between senior year and college?

Work at a boathouse/boat club

Go to your local club and ask if they need any help running the front desk, answering phones, etc. and in exchange, could you rent a single to row in the mornings, etc. Employees typically get those perks anyways but it’s worth asking to make sure. If they don’t need any regular office help, ask any of the directors (programming, outreach, development, etc.) if you can put together an internship over the summer (paid or unpaid, up to you, but definitely see if you can get credit for it from your university) to work with them and learn about whatever it is they do. If you’re in the business school this would be a GREAT thing to do for educational, networking, and future career purposes. You’ll have something to put on your resume, a few letters of recommendation (do not forget to ask for those), AND you’ll still get to row.

Be an apprentice

One thing that every rower, coxswain, and coach should have a basic understanding of is boat repair. If you’re around campus and you’re lucky enough to have a dedicated boatman, go ask if you can come down and hang out a couple times a week to  learn how to repair boats, oars, etc. and help out with painting, cleaning, organizing, etc. I was shocked at how busy the boatman at CRI was last summer (and the rest of the year too). The Google spreadsheet that lists everything the club needs repaired, repainted, etc. is ginormous. The workshop itself is at least the size of my entire apartment, which is a pretty decent size, and there is always something needing to be done, so I have to imagine the help would be appreciated. When I was talking to Kevin Sauer a few weeks ago he told me about someone who came to observe his coaching during one of UVA’s summer camps and during the down and in-between time they helped the boatman with whatever needed to be done. It’s good experience, you learn something, and it’s another thing you can put on your resume, especially if you want to pursue coaching more seriously after graduating.

Related: Are there any summer programs you’d recommend for collegiate coxswains?

Go out in small boats

Take out a single or a pair with a friend and just row. The summer is a great time to learn the other side or become more proficient in it because there’s no pressure like there is during the year. Plus, rowing in small boats is one of the best things you can do to work on your technique because smaller issues that might not be as apparent in an eight will be easier to pick up on.

Cross train

Instead of rowing, do something different like hike, ride bikes, swim, etc. All that training will benefit you when you get back in the fall and start prepping for head race season and you’ll have the added benefit of not being completely burned out on rowing. I’ve had friends that train for and run marathons, go on month-long hiking trips, etc. so there’s plenty of options if you think outside the box.

If you want to row over the summer go for it but don’t feel like you have to. If you are regularly training during the summer, take a week off so your body can recover and you can chill for a bit before getting back into it.

Image via // @vickythornleygb

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hi, I’m a novice coxswain for a men’s collegiate team. We have 3 8+’s and 4 coxswains so one person always has to sit out. During one of our races, the other novice coxswain got to cox 2 races while I had one. I don’t understand why the coaches picked her over me. She shows up to practice hungover, misses at least one practice a week, and has crashed the boat 5 times. The coaches keep commenting on how impressed they are with me but she always gets the better positions. Do I confront her? My coaches? Or should I shut my mouth and deal with it?

I wouldn’t confront her directly about it but I wouldn’t stay quiet about it either. If all those things have really happened your coaches have to at least have an idea about it – there’s no way they can’t tell when she’s showing up hungover or haven’t seen/heard about her crashing the boat.

Related: What’s your opinion on rowers smoking/drinking? Do you think there can ever be a balance or should athletes just avoid it?

This is a tricky situation because it’s hard to confront your coaches about a decision they made regarding a teammate without sounding petty. I would find time to sit down with them just to talk about your progress so far. What have they seen you doing well, what would they like you to keep working on, what have you been working on, what your goals are for the season, etc. Talk about your race and casually ask them what went into the decisions on who was boated where or why some coxswains got to race more than once. It’s vague enough that you aren’t saying “why was she in that boat?” but it’ll also give you the opportunity to hear their rationale for why which coxswains were in which lineups. You can also ask if the coxswains will rotate in the future between who does two races and who done one should a situation like this arise again.

If they ask you why you’re asking, you can bring up that when you look at yourself vs. the other coxswains and take into account what the coaches are telling you about your performance, you’re confused because the boats/races you’re being put in don’t seem to measure up to the feedback you’re getting. Hopefully this will initiate a conversation and give them a chance to tell you why you are where you are.

I have to imagine that they’d want to know about this other coxswain showing up hungover, crashing boats, etc. if they somehow don’t already because it’s a safety issue at the very least. The issue is finding the right time to bring it up, which there hardly ever is one until it’s too late and then it comes to “well, if you knew, why didn’t you say something?”.

Do the varsity coxswains know about these issues? One thing you could do is talk to them first and then they can talk to her from an upperclassmen/team leader/fellow-but-more-experienced coxswain standpoint. If they feel it’s necessary to go to the coach, you can go with them or you can have them come with you, whichever makes you comfortable. That way you can say that you weren’t sure how to handle it because you know it’s not your place to do so so you wanted to talk to someone with higher standing first but they thought it’d be best to go  directly to the you, the head coach. From there you can let them deal with it.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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How did you balance crew, classwork, and a social life while you were in college?

I didn’t at all. My college experience could be equated to Murphy’s Law – everything that could go wrong went wrong. Looking back I should have advocated for myself a lot more than I did when I talked to my coaches, I should have gone to my professors sooner when I realized I was falling behind, and I should have avoided my advisers entirely since they ended up steering me in the wrong direction more often than not. The way things panned out with rowing and college in general is without question the biggest regret I have.

College itself wasn’t a shock to my system or anything so there really wasn’t an adjustment period there but as soon as classes started I got smacked in the face with crew from every angle. Practice twice a day, weights in the morning twice a week after a row (7-8:30am before classes), not to mention having a teammate as a roommate (alarm clock going off every five minutes for an hour starting at 4:30am … I wanted to kill her) was a lot to deal with on top of the usual college stuff.

I started taking classes over the summer and already had an incredible group of friends before the year even started. I went from seeing them every day to never seeing them. I was way too exhausted to go out on the weekends so I missed a lot of opportunities to hang out and stuff. I justified missing out by saying that rowing in college was what I wanted to do and I knew there were going to be sacrifices and if this was one of them, fine. All work and no play is not healthy.

Classes were a whole separate issue entirely. I was excited about my major and most of my classes but it’s hard to maintain that excitement when you’re late to your morning class every day because you get held over by 20, 30, 40 minutes at practice (and then have to wait for the shuttle back to campus) and are so exhausted at the end of the day that you can’t manage any brain waves when it’s time to actually do your work. I’d come back from afternoon/evening practice around 6-7pm, maybe grab something to eat (justified again by not having enough time, I didn’t feel that hungry anyways, etc.), take a quick break to wind down from the day (usually in the form of a shower, which was the only time during the day when I felt no pressure to do anything), and then start my homework. That’d go from 8pm-2am usually before I’d set my alarm and go to bed. If I got more than 3 hours of sleep a night I was ecstatic. I was constantly running on empty.

I’ve always been a good student but my grades were awful and having never experienced that before, I was constantly kicking my own ass and telling myself to get it together. I was nervous to talk to my professors because I figured they would look at me as an entitled athlete expecting special treatment so I didn’t go to them for help (until it was all but too late) and instead committed myself to figuring out how to fix things on my own. Needless to say, that didn’t work.

Midway through the semester, I hated crew. Like, absolutely hated it. I didn’t feel like I was getting any opportunities to do anything useful when I was at practice and I (and some of the other coxswains) always felt like the coaches were pretty “meh” towards everyone but their “favorite” coxswain. Whenever the subject of crew, the team, etc. would get brought up by friends, family, professors, etc. I could feel the look of disgust on my face. If I never saw another oar, boat, or cox box ever again it would have been too soon. It went from being something that I loved doing more than anything to a job that I despised waking up for. I was stressed beyond belief, I was constantly getting sick (I ended missing nine straight days of classes at one point because I was so run down … the doctors I saw were horrified and almost made me check into the hospital for treatment), I had no energy, and the energy that I did have was spent convincing myself that this was what I wanted. I wanted this!

When I had conversations with my coaches or athletic advisers, I got nowhere. My athletic advisers, instead of finding ways to help me, only offered the suggestion of “just pick an easier major”, which I ignored because that’s literally the most lazy, bullshit piece of advice ever. My coaches guilt tripped me because I had committed myself to the team and I had to fulfill that, blah blah blah. I sat in their offices ready to punch the walls at a moment’s notice because it was like … do you think I don’t know that I made a commitment? Why do you think I’m running myself into the ground right now? I’m doing it because of this commitment!

Eventually it came to the point where I knew I had to walk away. My grades were the number one reason but my health (physical and mental) was another. I had never felt before what I felt my freshman year. I was in a perpetual state of fatigue, hunger, anger, stress, anxiety, depression, etc. that no one understood. The people I did talk to about what was going on knew maybe 1% of everything – the rest of it I kept to myself. People aren’t joking when they say doing that eats away at you. I could feel myself becoming less and less of the person I was before and that only added to everything I was feeling.

Walking away from crew was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I know it doesn’t seem like something that a normal person would agonize over but for me it was. I knew that quitting (something I had never done before) would put an end to my dreams of competing at the elite level. I was back home when I got a call from the assistant coach who said that she could tell something had been going on. No shit, really? Do you think maybe you should have said something beforehand instead of rubbing my “commitment” in my face? I told her I needed some time to figure out what I wanted but I didn’t think I was going to be on the team next season. It wasn’t until I took a step back and realized how miserable I was making myself that I realized the choice was already made. I called my coach back and said I was done.

I hate that I’m that person who is the anomaly and couldn’t make things work out. There are thousands of collegiate rowers out there that do and on some level, I’m envious of that. I’ve realized in the years since that I should have stuck up for myself and I should have told my coaches at the very beginning that something wasn’t right. Whether they could or would have helped me is something I’ll never know but I should have made the effort to at least see what they had to say. Asking for help as a coxswain is something that’s really easy for me but asking for help in “real life” is really hard and it bit me in the ass here.

The simplest piece of advice I have is that the moment you start to feel the ground under you getting a little shaky, figure out why and then go talk to the appropriate people until you’ve got things stabilized. Even if you don’t think you need someone else’s help, down the line you will. If your professors know ahead of time that you’re juggling a lot and struggled a bit with a certain topic, problem set, etc., they can at least throw out a “Hey, how have you been doing since we last talked?” at the beginning or end of class one day. I never had any professors like this but maybe you do. They can’t help you if they don’t know there’s a problem though, regardless of how minor it is.

Related: How do you fight off the stress of rowing? I can’t just stop because it helps me ease school stuff but at the same time it makes everything pile up and I can’t hold everything in anymore.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you to “just switch to an easier major”. In the short term that might solve the problem but in the long run you probably aren’t going to be happy. Also, don’t let your coaches guilt trip you, make school seem like an interference to crew, or make you feel like your concerns are invalid. Don’t let anyone else invalidate your concerns either – family, friends, significant others, teammates, etc. How you balance crew, classes, and having a life is different for each individual too. There’s an experimentation period of trial and error where you find out what works for you before you settle into a routine, but the key is making sure your routine is dictated by you and not someone or something else.