Tag: communication

Question of the Day

By readyallrow November 14, 2013

We finished fall season maybe 3 weeks ago and we’ve had 2 weeks off since then. We are starting winter training next week and I just can’t motivate myself. I finished the on-water season with my coach saying I didn’t meet his expectations (I’ve only rowed since this spring and I was in a quad all fall. My teammates rowed for 2-4 years so they are GOOD compared to me.) Anyway, he made me feel like shit and I don’t even want to try anymore because I feel like this is useless and I’m wasting my/his time. I don’t know what to do and as much as I love being on the water, I don’t want to do a sport that make me feel so bad about myself. (His comment made me cry more than I should have). Maybe I’m too weak, IDK, but just the thought of being back at our gym make me want to hide under a blanket forever (haha). I know I don’t really have a question here but just your opinion would be nice. (I only row for a small club at my college.) If you have no idea what to answer, don’t worry haha! Thanks!

I can understand a coach having a conversation with a rower or coxswain at the end of the (spring) season and saying he/she felt they could have done better but to flat out say you didn’t meet their expectations is a little harsh, especially since the fall season doesn’t mean anything. It’s completely unimportant. Also considering you’ve only been rowing for a season at small club, this just seems like a bit of an overreaction by your coach. If you were at a bigger school with a bigger program, I could probably make a better case for saying something like that but at a small club? I don’t really understand it. Regardless, if you’re not enjoying yourself and don’t feel like participating in the sport is a worthwhile use of your time then that’s certainly cause to question whether or not you want to keep doing it.

I don’t think you should quit just because your coach made one potentially unnecessary comment though. It’s possible he had different intentions and just failed to communicate them properly. It is his job to push you to be your best and at times you’ve got to have a thick skin and be able to take the harsher criticisms because ultimately, that’s what is going to make you a better athlete. I’d talk to him before you start winter training and see if you can get a better feel for what he was saying before – what were his expectations, why didn’t you meet them, what could you have done better/differently, what does he want to see you improve on for the spring, and knowing that you’ve only been rowing for one season, did he feel like his expectations for the fall were realistic. After talking to him and hearing what he has to say about the fall and upcoming spring season, then you can make a decision as to whether or not you want to continue training..

Coxing Q&A

Question of the Day

By readyallrow September 16, 2013

I’ve just joined a varsity program and we have been doing a lot of long pieces in preparation for 6K season. Whether it be ‘racing’ pieces or ‘technique’ pieces, I do find myself stumbling on things to say. I’m not quite clicking as much as I did last year (maybe it’s because last year during fall season we were still learning how to actually row – this is my first year on varsity). Do you have any tips to coxing longer pieces without being annoying? And also – do you have an advice on how to steer while keeping it close with other boats that we’re practicing with?

I’ll tackle the steering question first. The first thing you’ve got to do is communicate with the other coxswains. Ask them where they’re pointing when you’re on straight bodies of water and adjust your point accordingly. Do this before you start rowing. When you’re on a river that has bends and curves, make sure you know when to start turning depending on whether you’re on the inside, middle, or outside and then tell the other coxswains when you’re starting your turn. This will help you prep for head races when you might have to turn while passing or being passed.

In addition to communicating with one another, the next two most important things you’ve gotta do are not oversteer and not freak out because of how close another crew is to you. I’d say anywhere from 5-6ft. is enough room to have between the two sets of blades. Any more and you’re probably taking up too much of the river. Any less and you’re probably going to clash blades (unless you’re really good at keeping a point). When I first started coxing I was a chronic oversteerer. I got much better over the course of my freshman year but would still fall back into bad habits when having to steer next to other boats.

Trusting other coxswains is one of the hardest parts of the job for me and being really close to them always made me nervous. Whenever we’d do pieces with other crews I’d volunteer to be the one in the middle so I could force myself to become more comfortable with crews on either side of me. It forces you to be even more aware of the adjustments you’re making and how big they are vs. how small they need to be. If you get jittery because another crew is close to you and then overcorrect by throwing the rudder to one side, you’re going to end up doing a fishtail-pinball like maneuver that’s going throw off you, the rowers, the other coxswain(s), and your coach because of the potential that they’ll have to stop the piece so you can get your point again or so the crews can untangle their oars.

The TL;DR of this is to communicate, pick a point and stick to it, maintain your composure, and make small adjustments when necessary.

With regards to coxing longer pieces, as long as you’re not saying the same thing over and over and over expecting something different to happen, speaking in a monotonous tone, and/or saying a bunch of nonsense, you won’t be annoying. Check out the post linked below – I think there’s some good info in there that’ll help you figure out things to say throughout the pieces.Also, check out the recordings I’ve posted for some ideas of things to say and how to say them. (Don’t just pick out things that sound cool either – know why they’re being used and understand the purpose behind them.)

Don’t put too much weight on the “varsity” label. I see it far too often and it’s annoying. Yes, being on varsity is a step above novice (or JV) but there’s really nothing special about it. You’re doing more work and pushing yourself harder but that’s the point. Congratulations, you leveled up and have now reached Level 2 in rowing. “Varsity” is just a word that people put on a pedestal because they think it means all these things that it doesn’t. The only difference between being on varsity and not being on varsity is that on varsity you’re expected to have a slightly better understanding of the concepts you learned the previous year, just like in school. Keep doing what you know how to do, make an effort to learn what you don’t, and always work to make small improvements when you’re out on the water. That is what being on the varsity team is about.

College Coxing Q&A Recruiting

Question of the Day

By readyallrow August 25, 2013

I heard that coxswains can’t sign letters of intent because they don’t get scholarships or anything so as a coxswain, how do I know if the school is serious about recruiting me and helping my admissions process? I don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket and apply to like the one school I think is really recruiting me and not get in…

Wait … what? Whoever told you that is wrong. Coxswains can/do sign letters of intent – if you Google “coxswain letter of intent” you’ll see numerous newspaper articles talking about recruiting classes and coxswains who are part of them. It doesn’t have anything to do with getting or not getting scholarships.

The only way to know how serious a school is about recruiting you is to ask. Coaches expect you to be an adult and communicate with them so if you’re interested in coxing there I would indicate your interest in the school, the major you plan on choosing, and where this school ranks on your list. If you really want to be a part of the program, tell them that and then ask out of the people they’re talking with where you rank amongst them and how interested they are in you. Be straightforward and honest with them – don’t tell them they’re your number one if they’re actually your number three.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow July 13, 2013

In the past, I’ve had a lot of trouble with my coach thinking I’m talking back to her which ended up bumping me down a boat (I’m a coxswain). Last week she told me to have the rowers pause at arms and body and didn’t tell me how often so I just had them pause every 3 which is typically how often we pause and then she yelled at me that I wasn’t listening and that she told me to pause every 5 … what do I do? If I tell her she didn’t say it then she’ll think I’m talking back again.

I totally get what you’re saying. I’ve done my fair share of “talking back” too and I get why it came off as talking back but I just really, really hate when people don’t give me the information I need and I end up looking incompetent or whatever in the end because of it. Yea, I’m probably going to get pissed if you tell me to do something, leave out a crucial detail, and then jump on me for not doing it the way you wanted. I think anyone would.

In high school I had a coach just like this who I butted heads with a lot, over practically everything. It got to the point where my boat thought he was doing stuff on purpose just so he’d have a reason to yell at us, tell us we were talking back or being rude, and then speed away in his launch, waking us out every single time to the point where we’d have a few inches of water in our boat as a result. At one point I got so pissed about it that we got into an actual yelling argument with each other on the dock about how I thought he was a shitty coach and how he thought my/our boat’s attitude sucked.

Luckily my other coach came over and calmed things down enough to where we could have an actual conversation. I told him that he’s saying things on the water that I either can’t hear or don’t understand (because I can’t hear him) and then when he doesn’t give any clarification or response at all, I just go with what I’ve done before because I don’t want to waste any more time trying to figure out what he’s saying. It’s not me ignoring you, it’s not me undermining you, it’s just I. can’t. hear. what. you’re. saying. When I repeatedly tell you that and you instead interpret me saying “what?!” all the time as not listening or just plain sucking as a coxswain, you can rest assured that I’m going to develop a chip on my shoulder from that.

The next day before we went out he apologized and said that he didn’t realize how difficult it was to hear what he was saying, he’d make more of an effort to use a megaphone or speak louder, he was sorry for interpreting my frustration as having an attitude, and that he’d like for us to make more of an effort to work together instead of against each other all the time. I apologized for voicing my frustration the way I did and for making it seem like I wasn’t listening to what he was saying. Our (meaning the boat’s) relationship with him was by no means friendly or anything after that but it was for the most part, civil and cordial, whereas before it definitely wasn’t. I don’t think that whole exchange would have happened though if my other coach hadn’t said something to him after practice. He had witnessed nearly every incident and knew that my boat and I weren’t just making things up to cause a problem. Before hearing a fellow coach’s perspective I think he just thought we were being pains in the ass for no reason.

My point with this story is this: talk to your coach after practice one day, preferably once everything’s been taken care of and people are leaving. Explain that you’re not talking back and you’re sorry if that’s how it comes off but _____ (fill in the blank with whatever issue it is you’re dealing with). Try to look at it from her perspective to see if you can understand how you might be coming off as talking back to her and say that you’ll make more of an effort to not do that in the future but at the same time could she please talk louder when giving instructions, be more clear, etc. Avoid getting frustrated, especially if/when your coach gets accusatory and says “you always do this”. It’s really easy to turn around and put it back on them by saying “I do that because you always do this” but ultimately that’s going to put you in a worse off position (been there, done that).

No matter how you do it, the conversation will be awkward and uncomfortable because no conversation where you have to tell someone in a superior position that something they’re doing isn’t working for you is easy. It’s a give and take situation though and your coach has to realize that too. You’ve got to go into it being willing to make some concessions on your end while staying firm on what you need from the other person (regardless of the position that person is in).

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow July 5, 2013

Hello! How do you get adjusted to a new team and location? I’m wondering because I am transferring schools and I’m really nervous about getting adjusted. I know that each team might have a different way of docking or calling different things. I’m coxing and I worried that if I don’t know those specific things because they are different that I won’t seem as authoritative.

The best – BEST – thing you can do, not only for yourself but your new teammates as well, is to talk to them. Talk to the other coxswains and ask them to give you a tour of the boathouse, show you where the cox boxes are, etc. and ask them to go over the calls they use because, like you said, everyone does things a little differently. Different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong but it is good to have a consistent language when telling people what to do or how to do things. I’ve never been “the new kid” anywhere so I can’t speak from personal experience but I’d suggest just going into it with an open mind, a friendly and confident attitude, and a flexible mindset. Things will inevitably be different so it’s important to not be 100% set or stuck in your old team’s ways. Adaptability at the beginning is going to be what the coaches look for in terms of how coachable you are. If you’re open to adjusting to the ways of your new team and not constantly saying “well, my old team did this” or “that’s not what my old team does”, things will work out a lot better for you, both in terms of making new friends and vying for the spot in the top boat.

Talk to your coaches too and figure out how they like to run their practices. We had an issue…well, not even an issue really, more so just lots of miscommunication…last week with a coxswain who was used to running practices on her own with the bare-minimum of input from her coach, whereas our coach likes to call the switches during warm-ups or tell her when to start/stop specific drills himself (as opposed to doing it for a certain number of strokes). At first, as a coxswain, this kind of bothered me but once I found out why he liked to do things like that it made a lot more sense (as a coach; as a coxswain, it still annoys me). The downside to this whole thing though was that it turned what should have been a good day on the water for this coxswain (on her first day back from Henley) into a stressful one that didn’t really leave the greatest of impressions on the other coach and I. Looking back on it, someone should have said “this is how I/we like to run practices, etc.” that way everyone would have been on the same page. His preference for how he liked to run things wasn’t something I knew either until the middle of practice when I asked but going forward I’ll know that that kind of stuff is something I need to go over with coxswains before going out.

I can’t encourage you enough though to talk to them though and ask them how they do things. Do they like to do all or most of the talking during practice, do they prefer you to call everything on the warm-ups, how much input from you do they want on the water, etc. Ideally you and your coach would have a collaborative and openly communicative relationship but far too often that’s not the case. It’s always best to find that out before you get on the water though and not in the middle of practice.

As far as not sounding authoritative, that goes along with being confident. Talk to the coxswains, figure out their language, and then run that shit like you’ve been there since Day 1. If you sound unsure of yourself the first time you go out with them, the first impression you’re giving is that you’re that coxswain who doesn’t trust herself or her teammates. Don’t be that person! If you make a mistake, who cares. Brush it off and move on. You’ll get a bit of leeway during the first week (hopefully) but after that everyone will expect you to have everything down. Use the first couple of practices to get acquainted with everyone and everything but do that with an air of confidence. Just because you’re going to a new team doesn’t mean that you’re completely resetting the “coxswain” part of your brain. 1% of everything you know might change. Do what you already know how to do and adjust if/when necessary.

Q&A Rowing Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow May 24, 2013

My coach always says she values experience, commitment and attitude. I’m one of the more experienced rowers on the team and I’m always trying my hardest to be positive and row my best. I’ve been spending most of the season in the third 8+ even though she’s told me before she thinks I’m really strong and a good rower. She’s put me in this boat for all of our major regattas and when I ask for an explanation, she doesn’t give me a straight answer. I know its supposed to be for pushing the lower boats and such, however, it’s really demoralizing for me because I feel like I’m never given a chance to show my full potential as a member of the team. I’d also really like to win, which my 8+ rarely does, whereas the first and second 8+ s are always taking gold and silver. What do you think I should do?

Hmm. I never really understood how putting a competent rower in a lower boat was supposed to “push” the other rowers but that’s just me. It’s definitely not something I’d ever do. I mean, there’s other reasons why I’d move a rower down but that particular reason isn’t one of them. Have you told her that you find it demoralizing to be put in lower boats when the feedback you’re getting indicates that you have the potential to be in a higher one?

I would try talking to her again and making it abundantly clear how you feel. It’s possible that she’s not giving you a straight answer because you’re not making it known in a clear enough way that this is bothering you. If you beat around the bush and don’t say exactly what you’re thinking/feeling, your coaches aren’t going to know why you’re asking. If they think you’re just asking because you’re pissed you’re in a boat that you deem “lesser” than your skills, they’ll write you off as being whiny. I doubt that’s the case here but it is a possibility. You never know until you ask. Have you asked or has she told you why she thinks having you in this boat pushes them? I know it’s not the most profound piece of advice I’ve ever given but I think the best thing you could do is sit down with her and talk about why you think you deserve at least a shot at the upper boats, what she thinks or had hoped your role in the 3rd 8+ should be, etc. Clear the air on both sides, if that makes sense. There’s probably a lot being lost in limbo right now because no one is asking the right questions.

Until then though and most especially since we’re creeping closer towards the end of the season, commit yourself to the 3rd 8+. The frustration you have for not being in the top boats should not be noticed, sensed, or felt by anyone in the boat you’re currently in because it’s not fair to them. Keep working hard and put all your energy into making the 3rd 8+ as fast as possible. Have a good attitude and try to find something positive about the experience. If you can think of something before you talk to your coach, tell her that – for example (this is completely hypothetical), being in the 3rd 8+ and doing all the technique work you did really helped you to focus on engaging the legs immediately at the catch and having a solid drive instead of disengaging them by shooting your tail and relying solely on your upper body. Epiphanies such as this sometimes cause coaches to reevaluate a rower’s position in the boat, so it’s worth a shot.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 29, 2013

Should I make corrections to my point (using bow pair) while the coach is speaking? I always feel rude but the boat sometimes drifts off!

You can as long as you’re not distracting everyone else. Most coaches won’t have a problem with this (and the ones that do are clearly clueless) so if you see that you’re drifting or being blown by the wind, go ahead and make the correction. Speak just loud enough to be heard but not so loud that you’re talking over your coach. Keep whatever you say short and to the point as well. “Bow, gimme two strokes…” gets the job done. If your coach is talking to your bow pair or bow four, wait a minute until he’s done so as to not distract them unless you’re in a potentially dangerous situation (drifting onto some rocks, being blown by a strong crosswind into shore, etc.). If he’s having a long conversation with them about something, speak loudly into your mic and say something like “hey coach, I’m drifting into the rocks so I’m gonna row it out…” and then have your bow 4 or whoever take you out and away from whatever the issue is. Do this quickly so as to not waste time and so he can get back to coaching.

Another thing I’ll do if my coach is talking to bow pair is have either stroke or 7-seat back it, which will accomplish the same thing. This is really the only time I use them to get my point though and it’s only if we’re in open water, not right on shore or anything. If I need a stroke from 2-seat then I’ll have 7-seat back it and if I need one from bow then I’ll have stroke back it. Sometimes this is the easiest way to do it because you don’t have to use your mic to talk to them, which means you won’t distract everyone else in the process.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow March 21, 2013

Hi, can I get a coach’s perspective? Every time our two 8+s do race pieces together and my boat’s a little behind, our head coach is always shouting through her loudspeaker for me, as the cox, to do/say something to get us even and pass. It doesn’t help that I’m in the “faster” boat. It gets me frustrated because it’s not like I’m not trying. What do I do? I’m definitely putting in 110% effort into my coxing but I’m just not sure anymore … what would you do in this situation? Thanks!

First, I would talk to your coach. If she’s constantly yelling at you to do something (which get’s irritating – been there, experienced that), there’s clearly something she wants to see and she thinks that eventually you’ll figure out what that is and do it. Talk to her and tell her what you’re doing, what you’re saying, etc. and then ask her for her thoughts. What does she think you should be saying that you’re not? Is she seeing something with the technique from the launch that is putting your crew at a disadvantage that you can make a call for? If she can’t give you answers to those questions, she’s just yelling to yell for no reason. I hesitate to say “ignore her when she does that” but if she can’t at least give you a reason for why she’s on your ass all the time, I’m not sure what else to suggest. If you’ve recorded yourself, give the clip to your coach and have her listen/critique it.

Secondly, talk to your rowers. When they get down like that, what are they thinking? What do they want to hear? What can you do to help them? Write everything down and then make an effort the next time you do pieces to incorporate some of what they said. Record yourself so you can hear what calls worked and what didn’t. Keep the ones that work and tweak or discard the others.

Don’t let your coach throw you off. I know it can be frustrating and distracting, but you’ve just got to find some way to tune her out and focus on your boat. There’s nothing wrong either with telling her that it throws you off when she’s yelling at you to do something to make the boat move. Coaches, especially ones that are/were rowers, tend to forget that there is no magic call or switch that we flip to make the boat go faster. We aren’t generating any power so if she wants to see the boat even up and pass the other crew, maybe she should focus her efforts on telling the rowers what to improve on instead of thinking that all of the changes have to come from the one person without an oar in their hand.

Coxing Novice Q&A

Question of the Day

By readyallrow March 20, 2013

During my novice boat’s pieces with some varsity boats, I found my point before starting and kept it with minimal rudder use throughout each piece. Despite maintaining a relatively straight course, I noticed a gap developing between my boat’s oars and the closest boat’s oars during some of the pieces. There wasn’t a crosswind pushing us away, just a light headwind. Is it more important to keep a straight course or the boats close together?

Both are important for safety reasons but my coaches always stressed that it’s more important to keep a straight course when you’re doing race pieces. Obviously it’s a little easier to do when you’re on a straight stretch of water vs. having to deal with the bends of the river, but racing/pieces = straight course, always. If you’re just rowing along or doing steady state, keeping the boats together is a little more important than how straight you’re steering just because it’s easier for the coaches to monitor and observe everything and it’s just safer overall.

This is a tough question to answer though because both have to be priorities, regardless of what you’re doing. If you’re steering a straight course but there’s three horizontal lengths between you and the other boat … nobody cares that you steered in a straight line. That’s another thing to keep in mind too, you can steer a straight line and still be off course which is why it’s important to establish a point with the other coxswain before you start your piece.

In this situation, if you know you were steering a straight point and your coach didn’t say anything, don’t worry about it. Worry about your boat and let the other coxswains worry about theirs. If your coach is concerned you guys are getting too far apart they’ll say something but until then, just steer your course and don’t worry about the other crews unless their course starts interfering with yours.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow March 17, 2013

Do you think it’s wrong to sometimes correct a novice cox while being a novice rower myself? I don’t usually do it but in situations where we’re almost hitting something and she’s making the wrong call I sometimes can’t help myself. I definitely don’t want to undermine her but I also don’t want us to hit the bank for example. She doesn’t seem to get pissed off about it and sometimes even thanks me. But should I just shut up and let us hit things anyway?

Let’s say you and a friend had just gotten your driver’s licenses and you were in the car with your friend when he starts driving erratically, swerving side to side, and at one point nearly side swipes a parked car. You know he’s not being safe, but do you just carry on your normal conversation or do you, at some point, say “slow down”, “stop”, or “watch out”? Your natural reaction is to say “stop”. If something were to happen, you’d be involved too and at some point someone will ask you “well, if you saw he was about to hit something, why didn’t you tell him to watch out?”. If your safety was in question, would you just shut up and let him hit a guardrail, a tree, a person, etc. simply because you’d both only had your licenses for a short period of time?

You can probably answer your own question so I’ll just leave it at that but I get why you’re asking though. There’s definitely people out there that believe people on the same “level” as them shouldn’t be offering up suggestions or corrections, which to an extent I agree with and understand, but this is not one of those situations. There’s a right way and a wrong way to go about it though, and that’s what makes the difference. If you were rude, pompous, etc. about it or tried to act as though you weren’t a novice too, that’s one thing. If you were polite, normal, and making a general suggestion for safety, like you are, or said something like “When we did the pick drill earlier, I think you forgot to do arms and bodies after arms only…”, there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when you start flat out telling them how drills should be called, how to steer, etc. That’s not OK unless you’re a coxswain too. I know this pisses rowers off because it tends to come back to “if they can tell me how to row, why can’t I tell them how to cox?” but the difference is that their job is to tell you how to row (in the general sense) whereas your job is to just row.

Your coxswain doesn’t seem to be bothered by what you’re saying, which is good. Since she’s a novice too, it’s possible that she might not see when she’s about to run into something which is probably why she’s thanking you. (Granted, the shore is kind of obvious, but regardless…) To an extent you’ve got to give her the benefit of the doubt because it is a little disorienting when you first start coxing and have to steer a 60ft. long boat when you aren’t able to ever see what’s directly in front of you. If you see you’re about to hit something or are getting close to the shore, another boat, etc., there’s nothing wrong with yelling out “Hey, there’s a log off starboard” or “Katie, we’re getting close to shore”. Don’t be annoying about it – yell it out once, make sure she heard you, and be done with it.

At some point though – and it’s questionable for everyone when the right time to do this is – you’ve got to be quiet and let them deal with shit on their own. The other issue I have with rowers telling coxswains stuff like this is that coxswains start to rely on it too much and when they hit something and no one says anything prior to it happening the coxswain will say “Why didn’t anyone say anything?? Coach, nobody told me I was about to hit anything!” to which my response will be “It’s not their responsibility to tell you how to steer, where to go, etc.”.

Going back to your friend and the car analogy, the minor swerves, too shallow/wide turns, etc. all come with the territory of being a new driver. Eventually they’ll get the hang of it and things will go a lot smoother. Until then, unless you’re that person (and seriously, don’t be that person) who freaks out and says “HOLYSHITOMGWE’REGONNADIE” every time they make a tiny move of the wheel, you can most likely be quiet for the majority of your drive. When there’s the potential for a collision to occur or the safety of the driver is in question, that is when should speak up. You’ve got to judge each situation appropriately and know when those times are.