Tag: coxswain

Top 20 Terms Coxswains Should Know: Shooting the Slide

By readyallrow March 9, 2016

Previously: Rush(ing) || Body angle || Pick drill || Suspension || Skying the blade || Quarter feather || Pin || Run || Lunge || Washing Out || Missing water || Footboard || Check || Ratio || Over compression || Release || Cut the cake || Hanging the blade

What part of the stroke/stroke cycle does it refer to

The drive.

What does it mean/refer to

Shooting the slide refers to what happens when you drive your legs without actually moving the boat. The lack of coordination between the legs and the body results in the trunk collapsing during the drive and the seat moving towards bow faster than (and without) the handle.

Relevant calls

One of the main calls I make here is to remind the rowers to sit up at the catch, keep the chests tall, low backs flat, cores engaged, etc. because if you’re finishing the recovery in an overextended position (aka lunging) then you’re most definitely going to shoot your slide when the drive begins.

To get the rowers to move the legs and handle together I’ll say “push with the legs as you hang off the handle, then add the bodies and draw through to complete the stroke” or something to that effect. It’s less about monosyllabic calls here and more about bringing the coaching from the launch into the boat (which means you need to be very in tune not just with what’s going on in the boat but with what your coach is saying in response to what he’s seeing, that way you can incorporate the same words, feedback, etc. in your calls).

What to look for

If you can feel the boat getting checked on the drive (which you always can), someone or several someones are shooting their slides. You shouldn’t be feeling any sort of strong pushback in your direction at the catch – rather it should be a smooth turnaround as the slide changes direction – so if you can see/feel the boat moving back towards you then you’ll want to remind the crew to bring the handle with them as they start the drive rather than limiting their power output by relying on the upper body to do all the work.

This video shows what shooting the slide looks like from a side-perspective. If you see someone doing this on the erg you should work with them to correct it, preferably beside a mirror if you have some in your boathouse. This is one of the habits that is picked up the fastest and takes the longest to break so you want to prevent it from becoming muscle memory sooner rather than later. (If it doesn’t start there already, skip ahead to 5:40.)

Effect(s) on the boat

Shooting the slide creates a backwards push against the foot stretchers that creates check and limits the run of the boat.

(Another reason) Why you need a working cox box

By readyallrow March 4, 2016

Below is an email I received from a coxswain who wanted to share her experience of coxing without a working cox box. I will never understand programs that look at cox boxes as an option rather than a necessity or say that sending them in to be repaired, serviced, whatever is too much effort, too expensive, etc. Cox boxes are expensive, yes, but so are boats and oars and riggers and you rarely, if ever, see programs so flippantly write off issues that arise with them. So … why are cox boxes any different?

“I’ve been following your blog for a while now and I have seen several stories and questions about not having a cox box. I just wanted to share my story about not having one.

My freshman year of high school I decided that I wanted to try out for crew. I was put as the coxswain because I was one of the smaller girls. At the start of the season, our team had 4 varsity 4s (coxed) and the novice team had an 8 and 2 extras. Between the time the season started and when we really started to learn how to row effectively, more girls had joined which gave the novice team an 8, a 4 (coxed), and an extra. The eight was the worst boat and I was given that boat because the other coxswain was better than I. I didn’t have any problem with that because I wanted our team to be fast.

Since our freshman year (I am now a sophomore) both the other coxswain and I did crew in the fall and spring of freshman year and fall of sophomore year. This spring season however, she decided that she wanted to do lacrosse. Now I am going to get to cox the second boat – in the fall I was in fourth boat because there are only 2 experienced coxswains. But my story really starts with the eight novice year.

Our school has a total of 8 boxes. Box “A” is the newest and the best. Box “B” is the next best. Box “C” is third best (and mine for this fall season). Box “D” is fourth best. Those are the four varsity boxes. The novice boxes aren’t named because they change hands ever year. One of the boxes that we have really does not work at all but another one works fairly well. The last box, my box for my novice season, did not work in the eight or the novice four and was just really staticky in the varsity boats. I brought this up to the coach and he said that there was nothing that we could do so I should just try and yell. IN AN EIGHT. I some how managed to make my self heard and when the other coxswain and I switched halfway through the year we kept our boxes because at this point I was pretty good at projecting my voice so my rowers could hear me. Now though I was in a bow loader four.

At some point along this path I had developed a cough that sounded uncannily like a goose. Like not even kidding, the geese on the dock would honk back at me. Now this cough didn’t really bother me, it was just part of who I was and it didn’t hurt. My rowers though told me to go to the doctor. Being a silly fourteen year-old, I did not connect the cough to the coxing so I continued as normal. Fast forward through the winter (during which I play ice hockey) and the spring season (when I decided that I wanted to try rowing for some unknown reason). My cough continued but was less noticeable. Spring season ended. At our school spring sports end before finals start and at the end of the two week finals I get a cold (right before my oral Chinese final…). Of course along with a cold comes a cough. At first they were just normal coughs but towards the end of my cold they turned in to the dry deep coughs I refer to as my “goose cough”.

I took the first two weeks of summer off from doing anything and my cough continued. Soon though my summer job started up. At my summer job I biked 7 miles to a pool and then helped with swim lessons for the morning. I also knew that I was going to take the life guarding course at the end of the summer so I started swimming laps. I used to be able to swim laps with pretty good stamina but now I started getting out of breath after one lap. This shortness of breath continued throughout the summer and continued getting worse. Eventually at the end of the summer I had to go to the doctors for my regular physical. I mentioned my breathing problem and my doctor said it will probably pass and not to worry about it so I didn’t. Well a couple weeks later I’m back for some reason and I mention that it had gotten worse and she was able to hear me cough because I had been slightly sick. Without running any tests she “diagnosed” asthma and prescribed an inhaler, which didn’t really help. I went back to tell her that and she put me on another inhaler that was every morning and night rather than as needed like the other one was and yeah, it really didn’t help. It made me dizzy, tired, and was such a hassle.

Now school starts again and my breathing gets to the point were I am out of breath when walking down the hallway and I simply can’t do stairs. The crew team decides to go run Harvard stadium for a workout and the coxswains decided as a group that we would do this workout with the team, so I took along my inhaler. To warm up we run once around the stadium. I used my inhaler and tried to jog with them. I managed to get around but it was a very big struggle. We start to run the stairs and I do the first section with lots of problems. By section 3 I have to take the inhaler again because I physically can not get air in. I made the decision to stupidly do at least half of all the sections because … I was stupid. I took probably 8 puffs by the time we were done with 30 of the sections. Cut to the car ride home and the entire way I could not breathe. My mother was close to turning around and bringing me to the emergency room. She didn’t but made an appointment for me with a pulmonologist (lung doctor). He had me do a bunch of tests and when they gave me the asthma medication they normally used, my breathing capacity went down. So they gave me the proper tool to use the inhaler with and sent me on my way with a follow up appointment in 6 weeks.

I go back in six weeks and – surprise surprise – the medications are not working. They take me off them and suggest a possibility that had not previously been discussed. They asked me if I had ever misused my voice for extended periods of time and I was like “yeah try the whole fall season my freshman year.” They said I most likely had something called vocal chord d ysfunction where the vocal chords actually close when you try and breathe, making it feel like you can’t get any breaths in. This perfectly described my situation and they put me on a different medication that mostly worked for the first couple of weeks (as in I no longer get out of breath walking down the hall) but I am still not completely well. I go back in two weeks and they will probably change my meds to better fit my needs (probably a stronger dose or something). And who knows, I might not ever be completely better. My breathing problems at one point made it so I was afraid I was going to faint while walking to chemistry class.

DO NOT LET ANYONE COX WITH OUT A BOX BECAUSE IT MIGHT CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE. I shared this story because I wanted to tell someone how dangerous coxing without a box is. By the way, love the blog, it has definitely helped me improve. Thanks for reading.”

I know I’ve talked to several of you recently via email about similar breathing/coughing issues so if this isn’t something you’ve already explored as the cause, I’d talk with your parents about it and make an appointment with your doctor as soon as you’re able.

Thanks to the coxswain who I sent this in, I appreciate it and I’m sure other coxswains (and their parents) will too.

Image via // @ryanjnicholsonphoto

College Coxing Q&A

Question of the Day

By readyallrow March 3, 2016

Hi! I was wondering whether it would be viable to cox for a competitive crew at varsity level at college but also occasionally go out on the water yourself? I am considering coxing at university but I’m not sure if it is something I want to try if it means giving up sculling completely! Thank you!

It probably varies by program but I doubt it’d be an issue if you already have experience sculling. One of our coxswains wanted to try taking out a Tubby last year and all she needed to do was take a flip test (basically to prove she could flip and get back in on her own without assistance). I don’t think she had to take a captain’s test (which tests your knowledge of the rules of your body of water, general safety stuff, etc.)in addition to the flip test but she might have … either way, some coaches might require you to do one or the other or both before allowing you to take a boat out alone.

The only reason why I could see a coach saying “no” is if they feel like it’s not something you need to be doing (in which case they’ll probably give you the runaround so as to not have to outright say no since “you’re a coxswain, not a rower”) or they don’t have time to go out with you if they aren’t comfortable with you going out alone. Even if you’re an experienced sculler this isn’t really a battle worth fighting – if something were to happen to you they’d be responsible regardless and it’s understandably not a risk some coaches want to take.

Like I said though, it’ll probably vary by program … and even location too. If you’re in the US I can’t see many coaches being super on board with the idea at first but if you’re rowing at the club level it might not be as big of an issue. I’m not sure how you’d fare in places like the UK, NZ, etc. but if anyone has experience with this, feel free to chime in.

Coxing Rowing Technique

Top 20 Terms Coxswains Should Know: Hanging the Blade

By readyallrow March 2, 2016

What part of the stroke/stroke cycle does it refer to

The catch.

What does it mean/refer to

The majority of the time when we talk about hang we’re talking about suspension but in this case “hang” means to pause at the catch and let your blade hang in the air before dropping it in the water. You want the blade to be moving down to the water as the wheels are rolling through the last few inches of the slide so that you’re changing direction just as the blade becomes fully buried. When you hang the blade, you basically just get to the front end and stop without the blade changing height relative to the water.

Relevant calls

This is where you’ll make/hear a lot of “direct to the water” calls. You can/should also remind the rowers that they should be unweighting the hands (not lifting – unweighting) the hands in the top quarter of the recovery so that the moment when the blade enters the water and their slides stop coming forward is the same point in time. One shouldn’t happen before the other. When I’ve coached younger crews, explaining the catch as a motion rather than a position has helped them understand this better and eliminate the pause at the front end (which most of the time they don’t realize they’re doing).

Calls for slide control (coupled with “direct to the water”-esque calls) can also help here because you’ll sometimes see rowers rushing their slides and then hanging out at the catch waiting for everyone else to get there, which usually leads to them having choppy catches or being late.

What to look for

This is slightly less obvious from the coxswain’s seat than it is from the launch but what you’ll see is a very obvious (but quick) pause in the blade’s movement at the front end. It’s not something I’m always on the lookout for but if I notice a rower is missing water at the catch then I’ll watch to see if I can see them winding up (aka dropping the hands at the catch causing their blade to sky) and then stopping before putting the blade in.

Effect(s) on the boat

Hanging the blade at the catch turns the stroke into a stop and go movement instead of one fluid motion which prevents the crew from establishing a consistent and easy-to-lock-onto rhythm. It also messes with the catch timing (duh – you’re always going to be late), your ability to have a long, complete stroke (since you’ll be missing water at the start of the drive as a result of not getting your blade in before the slide changes direction), and the shell’s ability to achieve its maximum run (because you’re missing water → not generating as much power → not getting as much send at the finish).

Advice from a former novice

By readyallrow March 1, 2016

Back in late June I got an email from a coxswain who had just finished her novice season and wanted to share some of what she’d learned and what she wish she’d learned throughout the spring. Here’s what she had to say (the italicized text is mine).

“Now that I’m no longer a novice, I can reflect on my time on the novice team and also add in all the new things I’m learning at a competitive camp. My hope is that I can help the novices that look at your blog with all my mishaps and experiences, so here are two lists:

Things I wish my coach told me while I was a novice:

When you’re rowing it up after your sprint race, if you see boats coming down the course about to pass you, weigh enough.

For those that don’t know, this is a sportsmanship thing and also so that the wake from you rowing doesn’t impact the crew in the lane closest to you. You’re not always required to stop (the officials will tell you if it’s something you must do but if they don’t, ask to confirm) but it’s just one of those things you should do regardless. It also gives the rowers a chance to grab a quick drink or make any needed adjustments, not to mention cheer on their teammates if a race your team is in is on the course.

When you have a bad day/bad row don’t let it stay in the boat with you. Let it go and be patient.

Don’t expect rowers to do what you say just because you’re their coxswain. You have to be their leader.

When steering, less is more.

Related: How to steer an eight or four, Oversteering, and “Small adjustments“

If you need to clear your skeg of weeds in an eight, you need to turn all the way around, lean over the stern deck on your stomach, and get both hands down on the skeg.

Unless it’s 80 degrees out this is rarely an enjoyable activity but if you’ve got a lot of weeds/leaves wrapped around the rudder or a stick caught between the fin and the rudder (had that happen at HOCR two years ago) then reaching into the water and loosening it up manually is your best/fastest option. Just make sure that you’re pulled over to the side out of the way of other crews that are practicing or racing.

Things I’m so glad my coach told me when I was a novice:

Your warmup is this, your race plan is this, and when I raced in college, it helped when my coxswain said this.

With regards to the first two, if these aren’t things your coaches tell you, ask them yourself. They might forget, they might think you already know, or they might think that one of the other coaches already filled you in. If you don’t know ASK. These are not dumb questions, these are critical parts of your race day preparation.

Don’t panic, and have fun.

This is how you stake boat. (She showed us a video and then the next day we practiced it on our dock.)

Related: Spring season pre-race prep (includes videos on how to get into a stake boat)

When coxing an eight, instead of staring at one oar at a time, stare at a point in the air in front of your stroke, and your peripherals will bring everything to you. (Tricky to do, but when practiced, super helpful.)

Being a few pounds over the limit is okay. It’s called the minimum for a reason.

So, as a message to all frustrated novice coxswains (and rowers!), here are my words of advice: Hang in there. You never stop learning but it does get better.”

Image via // @gramulho

Coxing

Coxing Magazine (!!!)

By readyallrow February 29, 2016

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Launching this spring/summer! And – bonus! – if you subscribe now (or at any point during 2016) and use the code 2016LAUNCH when you checkout you can get a full year’s subscription for 50% off (which makes it only $36). Can’t wait for you guys to check it out!

College Coxing High School Racing Rowing Training & Nutrition

Coxswains + Weight Management

By readyallrow February 25, 2016

Given that it’s National Eating Disorder Awareness Week I thought this was an appropriate video to share. It’s from a talk on weight management that was given during the Sparks coxswain camp this past December. It’s only about nine minutes long so I encourage you to set aside some time to watch it (in addition to sharing it with the other coxswains on your team). There’s some great info, advice, and anecdotes in here but beyond that, at the very least I hope this serves as a wake-up call for those of you who are or are considering employing unsafe methods of losing weight.

Coxing Drills Rowing Technique

Top 20 Terms Coxswains Should Know: Cut the Cake

By readyallrow February 24, 2016

What part of the stroke/stroke cycle does it refer to

Cut the cake occurs on the recovery and targets the finish through bodies over part of the stroke.

What does it mean/refer to

“Cut the cake” is a drill that focuses on swing and body prep and emphasizes getting the hands out of bow at the same speed together in order to maximize the amount of run you’re getting on the recovery.

There are several versions of this drill but in the normal one you begin by taking a normal stroke and then on the subsequent recovery you pivot forward with the bodies, swing back to the finish (drawing the arms all the way through), and then swing forward again and come up to the catch. That swinging motion when the bodies pivot back and forth is the actual “cut the cake” part (although I really have no idea why it’s called that).

Relevant calls

The two main themes/calls that I base a lot of what I’m saying around are “pivot” and “stretch”. Pivot has to do with the swinging part of the drill, where you’re going from the finish position to bodies over, and I make calls relating to that because I want the rowers to be conscious of pivoting, swinging, etc. from their hips and not reaching or lunging from their low backs. The stretch call also relates to the bodies over position because when you’re sitting up and pivoting from your hips, you should feel just the slightest stretch in your hamstrings. (Obviously flexibility plays a big part in this … the less flexible you are the sooner you’ll feel that tug as you swing forward.)

Outside of those two calls, I’ll make calls as necessary to even out the speed of the drill if it looks like they’re rushing through the cut the cake part, as well as reminders to hold the knees down and/or break them together as they start the slides.

What to look for

You can see what the drill looks like in the videos below.

One of the things that makes cut the cake complicated and/or not fun is how easy it is to screw up the timing. It’s easy to think that this happens on the recovery when you’re swinging back and forth but it more often happens as a result of people driving at different speeds, which then causes them to finish at different times and then have to rush through the cut the cake part to catch up with everyone else. So, if you find that the timing is off, focus first on getting the finishes together before moving on to trying to match up the hands, bodies, etc.

Another thing to watch for is the speed at which the rowers move through cut the cake. It should be a natural speed that matches the speed at which they’re driving and recovering … it shouldn’t be a steady speed through the drive, fly through cut the cake, and then slowly proceed up to the catch.

Effect(s) on the boat

Cut the cake touches on a lot of different things like balance, swing, body prep, rhythm, etc. but the timing of the hands coming away at the finish is arguably one of the more important aspects of the drill. If you consciously go through the drill instead of just going through the motions then this can really help the timing on the recovery by getting everyone moving together and at a steady speed, which in turn allows the boat to run out further between strokes (thus increasing the efficiency of each stroke).

Question of the Day

By readyallrow February 23, 2016

Hi! I’ve asked you plenty of questions before, and your blog is so helpful for me to be a better rower and coxswain. Recently, my team voted for women’s varsity captain. The girl who won is in her third season on the team, and her second season coxing. I love her as a person but I am not a fan of her coxing – I’ve raced with her before. (Just for some background.)

I personally don’t agree with many of the decisions she makes. For example: on our team, if the rowers aren’t cooperating, the coxswains have the authority to assign pushups. If ONE rower in her boat is unable to roll their oar up, then she gives her entire boat pushups, and one day, she was coxing my boat (a mixed NOVICE eight) who has just recently been learning how to roll-up, and she gave them pushups for not being able to do something that they haven’t learned.

Also, there have been several instances where a boat has needed to be put away and one more person was needed to carry it. I offer to help and then she tells me that the rowers need to be the ones carrying the boats. I don’t agree with this because the rowers bring their boat down and up, they bring oars down and up, and they help other boats. If each boat was carrying their own boat on their own, I’d agree with her. But if you just need someone else to put it in the racks, what is the problem if it is a coxswain (formerly a rower; perfectly able to lift a boat) versus a rower?

Thirdly, there are many cases where she has to ask me what we’re supposed to be doing, who’s going out first, etc., and that just seems very backwards to me. This along with the fact that the novices (who didn’t get to vote) wish that I were captain and believe that I am a better coxswain than her, handle myself better under pressure, etc.

I obviously cannot change the fact that she’s captain, and I am happy for her. My question is, how do I respect her even though I have more experience and frankly more leadership skills than she does? (I don’t know if this sounds totally jerky or not… I really do like her as a person, I just feel that she isn’t fit to be captain – at least, not yet.)

There’s a lot of flawed logic in “coxswains can assign pushups if the rowers aren’t cooperating” but power, responsibility, or whatever you want to call it like that in the wrong hands is basically just giving them a clear path towards becoming a full on Napoleonic personality. This is one of those situations where I think it’s in the best interest of everyone, including her, to have someone (you, another captain (if there is one), her stroke seat, etc.) take her aside and basically have a “you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself” conversation with her. Throwing your weight around like that, especially with novices, isn’t the best way to earn your team’s respect and if she wants to actually be a captain and not just wear the title like a crown she needs to chill.

I agree that if you need somebody to help carry a boat it doesn’t matter who it is as long as they’re actually capable of helping (aka your 5’0″, 114lb coxswain probably won’t be of much help but your 5’6″, 127lb coxswain might be). This is one battle though that probably isn’t worth fighting. In this case I’d probably go to one of the people carrying the oars and say “hey, let me grab those and you go help them take the boat up”. You still get to help out and she gets to have a “real” rower carrying the boat … practically a win-win.

When it comes to her asking you what you’re supposed to be doing, who’s going out, etc. I don’t think it’s a big deal to occasionally fill her in if you know the answer to her question (particularly if she was legitimately occupied with something else while the coach was telling the team what the plan was) but more often then not I think you have to default to saying “you should talk to [your coach]”, “[your coach] posted the workout/lineups on the cork board upstairs”, etc. At some point you might just have to say “it’s not my responsibility to know this stuff or communicate it to you”, which might come off as passive aggressive or whatever but it’s true. I don’t expect the people in my boat or the guys on our team to tell me or our coxswains what the plan for practice is because it’s just not their job to do.

Looking at this from her perspective though (and to give her the smallest benefit of the doubt), it’s possible she’s asking you because she sees that you have more experience (both as a coxswain and a leader) and she’s looking for some guidance without having to outright say so. I’ve done that (and sometimes still do) but whoever I’m asking usually catches on and is like “you know you can just ask for help if you need it, right?” and it’s like … OK, they’re willing to help and don’t think I’m a total idiot. When you’re put in positions like she’s in, not just as a coxswain but with the added responsibility of being a captain too, there is a lot of pressure to have your shit together and if you don’t it can be pretty overwhelming (which in turn some people compensate for by going a little over the top with how they handle things … aka the pushups incident). Basically what I’m saying is don’t misattribute her attitude as being one thing when it might actually be the result of something else.

Like I said earlier, I think it’d be beneficial to have a quick one-on-one to address how she interacts with the novices and how she handles assigning pushups (which I still think is stupid and ineffective but if it’s a team policy then I guess you’ve gotta find a way to work with it … which basically means only using it as an absolute last resort). From there I’d just put it out there that you know having all this responsibility on your shoulders can be overwhelming at first so if she wants/needs advice on anything you’re willing to listen but, as previously mentioned, she’s gotta figure this out on her own and not rely on you to give her the lineups, workouts, launching order, etc. In situations like this I really believe the best thing you can do is just offer your support and if she wants it she’ll ask for it and if not, you just have to accept that and move forward. It’s hard – like, grit your teeth and cringe hard – when you want to tell someone how to do something or a way to do it better so they can avoid shitty situations but you also have to recognize that they’ve gotta make their own mistakes if they want to learn anything. That’s probably been the hardest thing for me working with our coxswains is just knowing when to sit back and not help. To the untrained eye I think it probably comes off as being a jerk for not helping (because obviously if a coxswain screws up it doesn’t just effect them, it effects the whole boat/team too) but I’m not about to force my knowledge or way of doing something on someone, even when I know it’s unequivocally right, just because they haven’t figured it out on their own yet (within reason obviously). So instead I’ll put it out there that if they want help, want to discuss something, etc. all they have to do is ask and we’ll find time to talk … otherwise, they’re on their own for better or worse.

I don’t think it makes you sound like a jerk to say all that. I think the only thing you’ve gotta be conscious of is not overstepping or undermining her authority when you interact with the novices. You can try to temper situations if a problem arises but they still have to respect the fact that she’s the captain, even if/when she does thing they don’t agree with. Even if you disagree with it too, it’d be better for you to try to help them understand where she might be coming from or why the team does things a certain way vs. saying “I don’t know why she’s making you guys do that…” or bickering with her in front of the team about who’s allowed to help carry the boats. If you want to be seen as a leader or theoretically in the future if you wanted to be captain, you’re not going to achieve that by badmouthing her or getting sucked into the groupthink where all the novices praise you while at the same time hating on her.

So … best way to respect her when you don’t (yet)? Find ways to work with her so you can better understand where she’s coming from. At the very least you’ll pick up some strategies for dealing with this type of personality so that if you encounter someone similar in the future (which you most definitely will in college, at work, etc.) you’ll know the most effective ways to deal with them.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow February 18, 2016

Hi! I am a freshman walk-on coxswain at a competitive D1 Ivy League program on the men’s lightweight team. We currently have 4 boats and I am the 5th coxswain, so in the coaches’ eyes I am obviously the worst although the rowers tell me they prefer me to the 4th coxswain (also a freshman walk-on) and the third is over the weight minimum by 10 pounds. The thing is, I am always messing up, always going to be behind because I never coxed in high school and never really learned (they put me in a boat the first day and told me to go) and I feel like I’m just never going to be good enough. I also feel like, no matter what I do, the coaches will never see me as better than the 5th coxswain even though I feel like I’m better than that and I’ve worked harder than the other coxswains and improved so much.

I love this sport and the team, but it has become such a negative thing for me. I often feel like shit after practice and I don’t feel valued or needed by the team or coaches. At this point the frustration is exhausting. I’m considering quitting, but I know that I would be ostracized by the team if I did, and I have become really good friends with some of them and don’t want to lose those relationships. Do you have any advice or have you ever been in a similar situation?

PS I can’t really talk to anyone about this because no one on my team understands, and I don’t feel comfortable addressing my concerns with my coaches because I feel like if they know I’m apprehensive, they’ll permanently “bench” (put me on the launch/kick me off the team) me–it has happened before.

Please help! Also I love your blog so thank you.

So … a couple things to start. Just because you’re the fifth coxswain doesn’t automatically or obviously mean that you suck … and I don’t mean that in an “every kid should get a participation trophy so their feelings aren’t hurt” kind of way, I just don’t think you should assume you’re the worst just because you’re not being boated. That kind of mindset almost predisposes you to make more mistakes on the water because you feel like you have to prove yourself more and that can cause a lot of anxiety which in turn causes your confidence to take an even bigger hit every time something goes wrong. If there’s four boats and five coxswains obviously someone’s gonna draw the short straw but ultimately it’s up to you to make the decision as to whether or not you’re going to settle for the short straw or you’re going to work your ass off to get in one of the boats (lack of coaching and experience be damned).

Secondly, if you feel like quitting you should quit. I’m never going to be that person who tries to talk people out of quitting, mainly because if it’s something they’ve already thought about doing then their minds are probably already made up and they’re basically just looking for validation or someone to say that it’s OK for them to do it. I think your reasons for wanting to quit are pretty valid … it’s your reasons for not wanting to quit that I think are … less valid. I get not wanting to lose the friendships you’ve made but to counter that argument, if the guys on the team are really your friends and put an equal amount of work into the friendship as you do, do you really think they’ll just let it fall to the wayside if you’re no longer around? Real friends won’t/don’t let that happen. You know the time commitment all of this takes so obviously it’s going to take a little more effort to make plans to hang out but if I were in your shoes, I’d rather quit and have this weight off my shoulders all the while knowing that I might not see my friends as frequently than stay on the team and continue feeling shitty and undervalued just for the sake of maintaining the status quo. Also, you should talk to them about this. Maybe not the coxing part of it specifically but the social aspect of it. Like I said, if they’re really your friends then they’ll probably be able to dispense some insight/advice that I can’t as an outsider looking in.

OK, so on to the coxing stuff. I understand why you’d say that you can’t talk to anyone on the team about this because I’ve been in that situation too. I felt the same way in college about pretty much everything because that whole four and a half years was like Murphy’s Law for me – if it could go wrong, it did (epically). Every time I’d talk to my professors, advisors, etc. it just made me even more upset because their advice sucked and I attributed it to them just not getting it … which I still think is true but it’s really only been recently that I realized I wasn’t approaching the situation in the best way. It’s scarily easy to fall into that “woe is me, this is bullshit, why is this happening” mindset and if what you’re saying or the questions you’re asking communicate that vibe, then yea … no one is gonna get it because they’re not experiencing what you’re experiencing. If you want some legit feedback/advice you have to put all that aside and approach it with a “this is where I’m at, this is where I want to be, what in your opinion should I do to get there?” attitude rather than a “I have no idea what I’m doing and everyone thinks I suck, HELP” one. The latter’s not gonna get you anything more than a fake “what, nooo, nobody thinks that” response whereas the former might get you a few nuggets of gold that you can then mold into an action plan.

Assuming making your way into a boat is your goal, you should schedule a meeting with the coaches. Being in the launch – as boring as it can be sometimes – really isn’t the worst thing that can happen (our sophomore coxswain literally spent March-May (every day) this past spring in the launch and I honestly believe she’s a better coxswain because of it) and if they kick you off the team (which is easily the dumbest thing I’ve heard all week) … who cares. If you’re already on the fence about quitting then them kicking you off probably isn’t going to phase you that much.

Do you have to say you’re thinking about quitting? Well, no, obviously. I’d keep that to yourself, not out of fear of retaliation but because it’s not relevant. Neither is the rowers’ preference for you over the fourth coxswain or the fact that the third is 135+ pounds. You’ve already listed some good talking points so use those to drive the conversation and help you get what you want. If I were you, I’d go into this “spring season goal-setting” meeting (<– email subject line) prepared to say two things:

1. You’re the fifth coxswain now and while you know you still have areas to improve on, you’re really proud of the effort you’ve put in to improve over where you were when you started. [Confidence is key. If you feel like you’ve gotten better, own that shit.] Making your way into the fourth boat is your goal so what one or two things do they feel you should focus your efforts on so you can better compete for that spot?

Make sure you have a couple things on hand that you are already planning to work on, i.e. steering, practice management, etc., that way you can either pre-empt them by saying “I know I need to get better at managing practice when we’re on the water” so they hopefully don’t say the same thing or they can elaborate on it further. Additionally, if they ask you what you think you need to work on you can say XYZ. If I were your coach I’d take you a lot more seriously if you come prepared having thought about this stuff ahead of time.

2. You want to make sure you’re being a productive member of the team, regardless of whether you’re in a boat or not, so what can you do on land or in the launch that would help them out, help practice run smoother, etc.?

You can ask the rowers and coxswains this too, framed exactly the same way. Both groups will say different things so you’ll be able to get a ton of info out of one simple question. This addresses the whole feeling undervalued/not needed thing too without directly saying so and it makes you sound proactive instead of whiny, which is how saying you feel undervalued can come off to some people. Whatever they all say though, even if it’s the most mundane task possible, embrace it and execute it so flawlessly that Beyonce herself would be proud. Find situations where you can create value for yourself and eventually people will start appreciating what you have to offer. That’s what I did last year with working with our coxswains. It was already something I was planning on doing in addition to coaching the rowers but because we were such a small team, I didn’t have a boat to coach which meant I would have been showing up every day to essentially do nothing. If I wanted to be taken seriously and not be seen as that hanger-on wannabe coach who just rides in the launch every day, I had to create value for myself so that even if I wasn’t coaching the rowers I was still contributing to the team and helping to make them fast. Coxswains are obviously my thing so I tapped into that and now anytime something comes up with them, on our team or any of the other three, I’m the one that people go to. Find something similar that you can do for your team. It might not be glamorous but don’t underestimate how much rowers appreciate always having a full water bottle during erg workouts or being able to get started right away because the ergs, weight-circuit stations, etc. are already set up because you showed up early to take care of it.

So .. to summarize all of this (sorry it got so long), if you want to quit then quit but if you want to give coxing a shot then approach it proactively and come up with some goals and a plan. Get your coaches on board by discussing this with them and as I said, tell them where you’re at, where you want to be, and get insight from them on what you can do to get there. You’re a novice, you’re obviously not expected to know everything so use your teammates and coaches to help you fill in the gaps. At the end of the day if you want the right answers you’ve first gotta initiate the conversation and ask the right questions.

Tag: coxswain

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