Tag: qotd

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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How do you deal with a coach who is egotistical and flat out rude sometimes? And it’s not even just that, he compares me to the older coxswains and it just makes me so frustrated. Even if I do every little thing right, he’s always being a jerk and honestly I don’t even want to do the sport if I’m going to be treated this way for the next few years.

I had a coach like this in high school – my senior year, of all years – and I felt the same way. He treated me and my boat like shit and eventually we had a pretty verbally aggressive shouting match after practice one day before eventually apologizing and agreeing to a mutually beneficial truce. I screwed up in that situation by letting the problem become bigger than it needed to – I should have said something from the beginning and not waited to the point where I was thoroughly enraged to finally speak up. Have you tried bringing the issue up to your coach that you’re feeling disrespected by him? I know it’s not exactly a comfortable or easy conversation to have but if you’re really on the verge of quitting, it might be worth doing to see if he at least makes an effort to change his attitude. I wouldn’t necessarily go the route I did and call him an asshole to his face though, no matter how much he deserves it. If going straight to your coach seems a little too intimidating at first, try talking to your assistant coach. Explain the situation to them, get their insight, and see if maybe they could bring the subject up to your coach or at the very least, be there when you bring it up.

Related: In the past, I’ve had a lot of trouble with my coach thinking I’m talking back to her which ended up bumping me down a boat (I’m a coxswain). Last week she told me to have the rowers pause at arms and body and didn’t tell me how often so I just had them pause every 3 which is typically how often we pause and then she yelled at me that I wasn’t listening and that she told me to pause every 5 … what do I do? If I tell her she didn’t say it then she’ll think I’m talking back again.

Basically, there are two kinds of assholes – the first kind are the people who know they’re assholes, embrace it, and won’t change for anyone and then there’s the second kind who don’t realize they’re coming off as assholes until they’re called out on it. Let’s assume he’s the first one and brushes off everything you say, turns it around and puts the blame on you, pulls the whole “I’m the coach, I’m in charge, etc.” BS, and then treats you even worse afterwards. No matter how much you love coxing, at some point you’ve gotta decide if dealing with a coach who makes you feel like that is worth it. Are you really going to enjoy being at practice with someone who irritates you so much? Probably not, sooo … why are you there?

Now let’s assume he’s the other kind of asshole who doesn’t realize he’s coming off the way he is. Maybe he’s a young coach or new to this whole coaching thing and thinks that the “look at me, I’m such a badass” thing makes him look authoritative and in control. I would again try to bring the subject up with him and talk things out. Point out specific instances where his behavior has bothered you and why comparing you to the other coxswains the way he is might not be the most effective way to provide you with feedback (assuming that that’s what he’s trying to do). Giving him the benefit of the doubt here, hopefully he’ll listen to what you’re saying and make an effort to do things differently in the future. Don’t expect things to be drastically different immediately but at least show appreciation for the acknowledgment and the effort. As I’ve said a million times before though, he can’t do anything different if he doesn’t know there’s a problem to begin with.

Make sure to take a step back and look at things from his perspective too. Is it possible he always comes off as being pissed because he’s stressed or overwhelmed by something that’s happened/happening at practice? Trust me, I’m not making excuses for him or anything but think about your team, how you act, how your teammates act, etc. and see if you can pinpoint anything that might cause him to act like he does. Is there anything you could do differently or something you could offer to help him out with that might make the situation a little better?

It’s entirely possible that he’s just an asshole and a really shitty coach. I’m definitely not ruling that out but until you’ve made an effort to talk to him and get his side of the issue, don’t do anything drastic. If all else fails but you still want to be on the team, have your parents talk to him. (I’m assuming you’re in high school, which is why I’m suggesting this.) Get over the whole “I don’t want my parents involved, I’m not a kid, blah blah blah…” and bring the issue up with them. At the very least they’ll probably be pissed that they’re spending money on a very expensive, time consuming sport that you’re not getting much out of because your coach’s attitude is making you want to quit. That alone will probably make them want to say something. Plus, it can actually help to have them bring the subject up with your coach because most parents have a knack for tactfulness that teenagers tend to lack. They can usually get across the whole “my kid is unhappy, is considering quitting, this is something they really enjoy, what can be done” spiel in a way that the coach can actually understand (whereas with the kids it can sometimes come off as whiny). Plus, an unwritten part of the job is making sure everyone involved, including the parents, are happy. If that isn’t happening, sooner or later their job will be on the line.

In the end though, it’s your decision. If you genuinely feel like he is set in his ways, won’t make an effort to change, and that you’re not going to enjoy crew because of it, the best choice may very well be to walk away from it. It’s obviously not the optimal choice but it might be the right one.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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Today I was coxing and I crashed a boat because we were coming in and there are rocks on the bank of the river and I thought we had gone out enough but we hadn’t and crashed into a rock and bent the fin. I feel so bad and I’ve never been responsible for gear breakage before and I apologized 20 million times and the coach said it’s ok but he still looked disappointed and I feel horrible. Sorry, I had to vent somewhere.

If it was your first time being responsible for some kind of equipment breakage, it probably wasn’t that big of a deal, especially if it was an accident (even more so if it was unavoidable). Your coach might have looked disappointed but he was probably just thinking that fixing the boat is something extra he’s got to do on top of his other responsibilities. Make it up to him by offering to help replace the fin or by asking to watch so you can see how to do it in the future.

Coxing Q&A

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Did you fall in love with coxing or the sport itself?

Good question. The sport itself was the first thing I fell in love with and the first thing I fell out of love with. I’ve always loved being a coxswain though. To me, coxing and crew are two separate things so how I feel about one tends to not affect the other.

My affection for the sport ebbs and flows depending on what’s going on but it really never noticeably changes with coxing. In college I hated crew because I just got so burned out on it. For a long time there was nothing about rowing that I missed. Not coxing though, that felt like part of me was missing or something. It’s hard to explain…

College Q&A Recruiting

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Hey there, so I know you get so many recruiting questions and you’re probably sick of them, but do you know how much college coaches look internationally to recruit? I live in New Zealand and it’s my dream to row for a US college, but how do I go about making myself known to them? Do they travel to our nationals (Maadi Cup etc) or is it my job to get my name out there? Thank you so much!!

College coaches definitely look internationally when recruiting. I’m fairly sure a large number of Ohio State’s team this year (that won the NCAA D1 championship) were international recruits, as were most of Harvard’s eights. The only person in their 1V that was from the USA was the coxswain who was from just outside Boston. So yes, if you’re a good rower with good grades, good erg scores, good race results, etc. coaches will look at you regardless of where you’re from.

I don’t know that much about international recruiting but to be honest, I don’t think you would go about the process any differently than someone from the States. You have the same amount of responsibility when it comes to getting your name out there as athletes here do. Contact the coaches of the schools you’re interested in, fill out the recruiting forms on the team’s page on the athletic department’s website, make a beRecruited page (or something similar) where you can post your stats and race results, and make sure your grades are  in order (the most important thing!).

Related: Letters of recommendation

I have to imagine that the assistant coach in charge of recruiting would travel to some of the larger regattas to see potential recruits but because of the time, cost, etc. my assumption is that they would only go if they really wanted you. If you live far away – like on the other side of the world, for example – one way you can help the coaches out is by having your coach take video of you (good video) during drills, pieces, steady state, etc. and emailing that to them after you’ve talked to them, indicated your interest, etc. Having letters of recommendation from your coach are also probably something you could/should consider doing.

College Coxing Q&A Recruiting

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I’m being heavily recruited to a few top tier men’s rowing programs (UW, Cal, Princeton) to cox. I’m obviously really incredibly thrilled but I’m also so nervous and afraid that I’m really not good enough to do well on that level. Do you have any suggestions for boosting self confidence when it comes to the whole recruiting process? I know they’re recruiting me for a reason, but I just don’t know if I’m that good.

UW? Cal? Princeton? You’re good. Those programs don’t mess around and like you said, they’re recruiting you for a reason. What I’ve learned over the years though is that there’s really just no point in thinking you aren’t good when you have people around you telling you that you are. They wouldn’t be saying it if they didn’t believe it and if you weren’t giving them some reason to think it.

I’m reading “Boys in the Boat” (highly recommend) and there was something I read the other day that describes coxswains much more eloquently and soulfully than I ever could.

“From the moment the shell is launched, the coxswain is the captain of the boat. He or she must exert control, both physical and psychological, over everything that goes on in the shell. Good coxes know their oarsmen inside and out – their individual strengths and vulnerabilities – and they know how to get the most out of each man at any given moment. They have the force of character to inspire exhausted rowers to dig deeper and try harder, even when all seems lost. They have an encyclopedic understanding of their opponents, how they like to race, when they are likely to start sprinting, when they like to lie in wait, etc.

Before a regatta, the cox receives a race plan from the coach and he or she is responsible for carrying it out faithfully. But in a situation as fluid and dynamic as a crew race, circumstances often change abruptly and race plans must be thrown overboard. The cox is the only person in the shell who is facing forward and can see how the field is shaping up throughout a race, and he or she must be prepared o react quickly to unforeseen developments. When a race plan is failing to yield results, it is up to the cox to come up with a new one, often in a split second, and to communicate it quickly and forcefully to the crew. Often this involves a lot of shouting and emotion.

In short, a good coxswain is a quarterback, a cheerleader, and a coach all in one. He or she is a deep thinker, canny like a fox, inspirational, and in many cases the toughest person in the boat.”

You would not be being recruited by some of the top programs in the country if you didn’t do and embody every single thing in that paragraph. You just wouldn’t so stop doubting yourself. You’re not jumping straight from high school into the varsity eight. You’re not expected to be that level of amazing yet. You have plenty of time to soak up as much information as you can, learn from every practice, race, and experience you have, and get to that level. Right now you’re at the level that they want for their freshmen program and given the schools you listed, you know their standards are pretty high. They wouldn’t be pursuing you if they didn’t think you met and have the potential to surpass those standards.

You have to believe that you’ve got some talent otherwise why would you have applied to those schools, academics aside? Whenever you’re starting something new there’s always going to be those seeds of doubt that pop up and make you question everything but the key is knowing how to shut them down immediately by reminding yourself of all the positive attributes you have that have gotten you this far and will continue to take you places in the future. You’ve got them, it’s just about reminding yourself of what they are. Stop questioning yourself and start believing in yourself.

College Coxing Q&A Recruiting

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Hello! I also am a senior who is looking to cox in college, and I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your extensive replies to all the others’ questions about recs and things. I do have another question though: if I were to not try to be recruited, and instead “walked on” a college team, do you think that could still happen? Would I still have a chance to cox or do you think all of the spots would be taken already? At my HS we never have enough coxes, but maybe it’s different?

Definitely! I’ve said this a couple times but you don’t have to be recruited in order to be on the team. Rowing is one of the few sports where walk-ons are heavily encouraged and relied upon, so you would definitely have a spot on the team if you decided coxing was something you wanted to keep doing. The fact that you already have a few years of experience will be great too.

Either right before or as soon as you get on campus email the head coach and find out when the team is having a walk-on meeting and where it’ll be. Assuming you’re going to a school with a varsity program, if you say that you’re interested in coxing in college and you’d like to walk on to the team they might include you in with the recruits since you’re an experienced coxswain. It doesn’t hurt to talk with them and say that you’re considering coxing in college but aren’t sure if you want to fully commit yet. They know it’s a big commitment so just ask for some info on the team and go from there.

College Coxing Q&A

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I’m going into my first year of coxing at the university level and have a training camp coming up. Any recommendations for what to pack for the five days? A kind of obvious question I know, but my OCD self feels the need to ask anyways. Thanks!

I’m the same way and yet I still inevitably always forget something, no matter how many list I make.

Personal stuff:

Enough clothes for at least two workouts a day just in case you get gross during the day and want to change.

Casual clothes/team gear for team dinners or other events/activities outside of the rowing bubble

Tennis shoes for running

Shower stuff, towels, etc.

Eye mask and/or ear plugs if you have trouble sleeping (since you’ll probably be in a hotel room with 2-3 other people)

All the chargers and USB cables you’ll need for your phone, laptop, GoPros, recorders, CoxBox, Speedcoach, etc.

Any other medicine you regularly take, plus extra Ibuprofen just in case

Rain jacket + pants, because it always ends up raining on the days when the forecast says “0% chance of precipitation”

Chapstick, particularly one that has SPF in it

Pillow + blankets if you’re staying in dorms rather than hotels

Snacks (Clif bar, raisins, granola, etc.), although you’ll usually get per diem to spend on food once you get there

Rowing stuff:

Notebook + pencil (or two)

Recorder

Multiple wrenches in all the sizes (7/16, 10mm, 13mm, etc.)

Cox box and/or SpeedCoach

Band-aids, tape, etc.

Extra nuts, bolts, spacers, etc. for the boat*

Water bottle(s)**

A backpack or fanny pack of some kind to carry all this stuff on the water with you

* When you get to camp you can ask your coach/boatman if you can raid the toolkit and grab extra parts for at least a rigger or two, plus maybe two extra spacers or so. It’s always good to have this stuff on hand if you have to make adjustments on the water and lose something (like spacers).

** I’ve found that having a spare water bottle on hand during practice is good, especially on hard days when rowers go through their own water pretty quickly. The benefits double when it’s really hot and/or humid out because it helps prevent the rowers from becoming dehydrated.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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What do you think of “Once a rower, always a rower?” Even if you have to quit not because you don’t like it, but because you have to? There was a conversation that came up with us about how people who quit shouldn’t be wearing their crew gear anymore. What’s your opinion?

The most basic way I can explain is this: we put so much time, effort, money, blood, sweat, tears, etc. into this sport that our racing tanks, unisuits, jackets, tshirts, and anything else with our team logo on it become sacred to us. We can’t wear our medals all over the place so we wear our gear instead to show off the pride we have in our team, our teammates, the sport, and ourselves. If you’re not on the team anymore it’s kind of like they’re on the outside looking in, you know what I mean? I know it sounds kind of stuck up to say that but I can’t think of another way to explain it.

On the other hand, you bought the stuff with your money so technically you can wear it whenever and wherever the hell you want. It’s not like anyone’s gonna go up to you and say “you’re not on the team anymore, take your shirt off…”. If someone had rowed for a few years and had been a fairly dedicated member of the team I wouldn’t have that much of an issue with it but if you rowed for like, a season and then quit? That’d annoy me (and was kinda what I was getting at up above).

College Q&A Recruiting Teammates & Coaches

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I’m going to be a senior and I’m really interested in getting recruited as a cox. I just finished my novice year and I did some rowing camps at universities. The coach at my 1st choice university was really impressed (she approached me at the end of camp and asked about my grades, college plans, etc.) but she told me I was a little late to the recruiting process. She encouraged me to ask my coach to write me recs to help. What are the guidelines for coach recs? When should they email the recs?

As far as I know there aren’t any guidelines they have to follow in terms of how it’s laid out unless there is a specific form that the college coach(es) give you to have them fill out. Some do that and some don’t. Basically all they’re doing is saying who they are, the nature of your relationships (coach-athlete, etc.) how long they’ve known and/or coached you, and then just talking about how awesome you are, what you’ve brought to the team, why you’re an asset and what makes you one, what they think you can contribute to a college team, how well you get along with and lead others, etc.

In terms of when to email them, I would do it as soon as possible but probably no later than the first week or two of September. I’d also email the coaches of the schools you’re planning to apply to and saying you’re interested in joining the team (if you haven’t already) and to expect a letter of recommendation or two from your coaches to arrive within the next week, two weeks, whenever. That way they’re not getting letters from coaches about potential coxswains they’ve never met or heard from before. I’d give your coach a deadline too and say that you’d like to have them sent out by this date since that’s when you told the college coaches to expect them. Otherwise you run the risk of them starting it, forgetting it, and then not remembering it until you mention something in November.

College Coxing Q&A Recruiting

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Hey Kayleigh! I was wondering about the general process of going to colleges when visiting about recruitment. I’ve already sent in my rowing resume, a recording, and school transcripts to the coach, and he said he’d like to meet and discuss the team when I visited campus. What goes on at these meetings and how does the topic of recruitment come up? I don’t want to be blunt about it when I’m there but I’m curious about admissions and when I’d know about whether or not I am a definite recruit. Also, do you know what kind of questions might be asked? Thanks!

The questions I got were mostly about my rowing background, what I was hoping to study, general questions about why I was looking at that university, why I chose to apply there, what attracted me to the major I was interested in, what my goals were with crew, etc. The questions they asked me revolved more about my education than anything else … the majority of the rowing related questions came from me. Most of the coaches straight up said that they wanted to make sure the recruits came to the university because of the education we’d be getting, not specifically for the rowing program, so they really touted the benefits of the school itself and the academic resources that were available to us through the athletic department.

As far as recruiting goes, you can still be on the team if you aren’t a recruit – you’re basically an experienced walk-on. There were several girls that did that when I was at Syracuse and they were always lumped in with the women who were recruited. The only difference between the two groups was that one group was pursued by the coaches (the recruits) and the other pursued the coaches (the experienced walk-ons). I think the best way to go about finding out your “status” is to just ask where you fall in terms of the coxswains they’re looking at and how serious they are about supporting your application.

Other than all of that, they’ll probably take you on a tour of the athletic facilities – their weight room, erg room, adviser’s offices, etc. – and then invite you down to check out the boathouse. One of the coaches I met with also gave me a tour of campus, which was nice. Basically any time you spend with them is an opportunity to ask any questions you think of (like the ones linked below) so use it wisely. You can always email them afterwards if you think of something after you leave but it’s always so much simpler to ask questions in person and get a response right away and typically with more detail than you would in an email.

Related: What questions should you ask coaches during the recruiting process?

I would also recommend, if you can, talking to some of the rowers who are currently on the team. That’d be a good way to go about getting info on team culture, training, balancing school and crew, etc. from an actual student’s perspective, which I tend to take a little more seriously than the coach’s simply because the rowers are living it and are dealing with the same circumstances that you potentially will be.

Whatever you do though, ask a lot of questions. The coaches will appreciate it because it shows you’re serious about being a part of the team and the university and it’ll be good for you because it’ll give you an idea of what the coach/program is like and how you’ll contribute to the team if you decide to go to that school. You want to be able to make an informed decision when you ultimately decide on what school to go to so get as much information as you possibly can when you go meet them. Oh, and be relaxed too. It’s not like you’re going into a high-stress, super serious meeting. All the meetings I had with coaches were pretty chill and easygoing, so don’t be nervous.