Tag: teammates

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

I graduated this past spring and I was recruited to cox in college. I was always the top coxswain at my high school club and the coaches now look at me as a mini-coach. They want me to pass on as much knowledge as I can to the other coxswains before leaving but I’m having a hard time reaching them. I’m not sure if they’re intimidated by me (I’m really not scary…) or they really don’t know what the heck I’m saying. Tips? Thanks!

That’s pretty cool you got asked to do that. It’s possible that they are intimidated a little, not by you necessarily but by your experience and the fact that you’re coxing in college, but it’s also possible that they might just not be around and/or are busy with jobs, family, etc. Try reaching out to them on Facebook and invite them to go get ice cream sometime next week. Keep it short and simple and just say that before you leave for school your coach wanted you all to get together to talk about the upcoming year, coxing stuff, etc. If for whatever reason you end up not being able to get together, write everything down and make a how-to guidebook for them.

If they’re smart, they’ll take advantage of your offer but don’t feel like you’re obligated to go out of your way to meet up with them. Like I said, they might be busy or they might just not care … which sucks, I guess, but ultimately isn’t your issue to deal with. Put together some notes and give it to your coach and if they want to read through it in the fall, it’s there for them to do that.

Note to all the coxswains out there, seriously, reach out to the coxswains from your team who are coxing in college or who just graduated and pick their brains on anything you can think of. They’ll most likely be willing to share their tips and tricks with you but you’ve gotta ask first.

College Coxing High School How To Novice Q&A

TED Talks, body language, and … coxing?

By

I was going through Reddit the other night and came across this talk from last October given by Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist who currently teaches at Harvard Business School. It’s really interesting and a lot of what she says can easily be related to coxing.

I’ve gotten a lot of questions asking “how to do I become more confident”, “will I be a good coxswain even though I’m shy and quiet”, etc. and that made me realize how big of an issue this is for those who are new to the sport (and for some experienced coxswains as well). I get asked a lot how I developed my confidence as a coxswain and I don’t ever really know how to answer that other than to say “I just am/was”. Good coaching, support from my family and friends, and my natural personality all play(ed) into it but it was never something I had to teach myself to be.

That isn’t the case for a lot of coxswains out there though and is really more of a “pick two” situation. You can have two of the above but not the other one and what sucks is that the one you don’t have tends to affect you more than the two you do have. When you’re just starting out in something new, especially something as feedback-based as rowing, that can be the make-or-break thing that helps you decide whether to stick with it or not. I’ve said multiple times that to be a good coxswain you have to be confident in your skills, your decisions, and yourself as an individual and I stand by that wholeheartedly, but how do you teach yourself to become that, especially when there’s no one telling you the process step by step?

One of the things that Amy talks about in the beginning of her talk is how your level of confidence is communicated in your posture, what your body language is communicating to other people, and what your body language is communicating to yourself. If you think about how you approach any given situation, what do you think your body language/non-verbals say about you? If you’re a coxswain, think about yourself when you’re at practice. Do your non-verbals give off an air of “I know what I’m doing” or, as Amy said, “I’m not supposed to be here”? Do you stand up front by the coaches, hands on your hips, waiting to be told what to do or do stand near the back or in the middle of the rowers playing with your cox box hoping no one notices you’re there? What about when you’re on the water? How do your coxing non-verbals make you look? Think about that for a second and honestly ask yourself how you think your non-verbals have affected you so far, either positively or negatively.

A little bit further on she talks about how there’s a grade gap in business schools between men and women and they can’t figure it out because coming in, they’re all on equal footing so you’d think that gap wouldn’t exist. What they attribute part of it to is one’s level of participation in class. Based on personal experience I know that in classes and situations where I’m confident in what I know, I’m a willing, avid participant in whatever’s going on. I’m one of those people that “spreads out”, has their hand high in the air, etc. When I’m not confident (i.e. every math class I’ve taken since elementary school) I don’t say a word and tend to make myself smaller in the chair I’m sitting in with what I can only assume is a “I’m not supposed to be here” look on my face.

When I started thinking about this, we do this at crew too. We all come in on equal footing, not knowing anything about the sport, but the ones who participate more by engaging themselves in the beginning during winter training, talking to the coaches, interacting with the rowers, learning about the sport on their own time, etc. are the ones that (initially) succeed. Those that stand around not doing much, are nervous or afraid to talk to the coaches, are intimidated by the rowers, and don’t do anything to engage themselves other than show up tend to get looked over in favor of those who are displaying more positive non-verbals. That all has to do with confidence. The more confident you are, the more risks you’re willing to take at the beginning to put yourself out there in an unfamiliar situation. That confidence is an inherent thing too that has nothing to do with how much you know or don’t know about crew or coxing. So, how do you become more confident and project those positive non-verbals?

The next minute or two of her talk really justified something I’ve felt and been saying for awhile now. “Is it possible that we could get people to fake it and would it lead people to participate more? … Can you experience a behavioral outcome that makes you seem more powerful?” You all know that one of the things I’ve consistently said, especially to novices, is “fake it ’til you make it” because the more you fake it, the more you start to actually become it. But, as she goes on to say, do the non-verbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves? I say definitely. If you’re awkwardly standing somewhere in a “powerless” position, chances are you aren’t feeling so great about yourself whereas if you’re standing somewhere with your chin up, shoulders back, etc. you probably feel pretty confident … or do you? Maybe you’re faking it. Who knows! That’s the beauty of it. “When you pretend to be powerful you are more likely to actually feel powerful.”

Related: “Fake it till you make it.” Do you believe in that for coxswains? Because of today’s terrible practice I wouldn’t have been able to fake anything for the life of me.

This transitioned into what she was saying about how powerful and effective leaders have high testosterone and low cortisol levels, testosterone relating to dominance and cortisol relating to stress. As she says, when you think about power you tend to think more about testosterone and less about cortisol but the thing with power is that it’s not all about how dominant you are over a situation or group of people, it’s also about how you handle and react to the stress of being in that position. Tell me that isn’t exactly like coxing. As she goes on to say, think about the kind of leader you want to be — do you want to be a dominant leader who is also very reactive to stress or a leader who is dominant and not very reactive to stress? I know there are a fair number of rowers out there cringing as you recall situations where your coxswain was freaking out about something on the water and you spent the next several minutes wondering if he/she was gonna have their shit together at any point during practice. That’s not the kind of coxswain you want to be. You want to be the kind that manages stress effectively by figuring out a solution to the problem rather than outwardly reacting to it. Why? Because the non-verbals you display in situations like that let your rowers know you’ve got things under control and their confidence in you ultimately translates into confidence in yourself. See how that works? (On the flip side though, the exact opposite can also happen…)

Moving on to “primate hierarchies”, think about when your coach decides to make a change by randomly and all of a sudden taking you out of your novice 4+ and putting you in the varsity 8+. You’re probably nervous, questioning your abilities, and thinking “oh shit, what if I mess up”, right? You’re replacing an “alpha” coxswain -someone who is most likely more confident, more experienced, and more skilled that you. But, after a few practices with the boat you realize it’s just like coxing any other crew with only minor differences. You start to worry less about how you’re doing as you settle into your groove and become more comfortable with the rowers. This demonstrates what she’s saying about your testosterone going up and cortisol coming down. As you continue working with them you gradually become more and more confident with yourself, which is what she’s saying about how role changes can shape the mind. On that same line, the more confident you become, the more positive your body language becomes, which in turn circles back around and increases your confidence. Body shaping the mind. Bam. Science.

Hopefully by this point you get how big of a role your body language plays in that. The trick is to do it in small doses like she says (starting around 10:19). For two minutes stand in a “high power pose” like one of the ones from her PowerPoint. Obviously you don’t have to do this somewhere where people can see you if you’re worried about looking silly. Do that and see how it makes you feel. Do this every day before you go to school, before you go to practice, etc. and after a week or two, see if you notice a difference with yourself. If what she says is right, the more you do it the more confident you’ll feel and see yourself becoming.

I have a great story to tell about “having the opportunity to gamble”. So, about two weeks or so before I left for Penn AC I was basically in the midst of a full-on quarter-life crisis. Fellow millennials will probably know the feeling – messy personal life, feeling stuck in our jobs, and freaking out about our (lack of) finances. I went out to breakfast one morning with one of the women in my boat and she said to me, dead serious, “you look like you’re going through life like you’re in the middle of surgery with no anesthesia”. That was a serious wake-up call because I knew how shitty I felt and I had been trying really hard to keep it to myself but apparently I was failing (miserably). What had given it away was how I was carrying myself. I wasn’t carrying myself confidently like I normally did; instead I just looked defeated all the time, including when I was on the water, which had never happened before. Ever since I started coxing this boat they’ve all consistently said to me, with wondrous amazement, that I’m a completely different person on the water. I’m a much more reserved and quiet person than I used to be but when I’m on the water, my true personality really comes through. I’m the person on the water that I wish I still was on land. How they knew something was “off” though was by how I was acting whenever we’d go out for practice. Up to this point I was always 100% in command, 100% focused, and never once questioned myself. Now though, I just wasn’t into practice, I couldn’t concentrate, and my mind was always on other things. They didn’t know any of that but they read it all through my body language, which was giving them the sense through my non-verbals that I didn’t have an ounce of confidence in my body.

For the first time in a long time I questioned myself in the middle of a race piece. I haven’t done that since I was a novice and didn’t know any better. Looking back at my non-verbals I know I was giving off the “I don’t belong here” vibe because in that moment that was exactly how I felt. We were doing race pieces with another boat and we were coming up on the last 400m or so. It was close between the two of us and I wanted to call a move to put us ahead once and for all going into the final sprint. I was already not 100% mentally into practice, in addition to being nervous about how close we were to the other crew. I debated for too long about whether or not to make the move, whether it would hurt our speed during the sprint, etc. and missed the opportunity. We lost the race by about two seats. I was furious with myself, which then made me feel even less confident and more defeated. It also just went to show how irrational I was being because it was just a practice piece — there was literally nothing riding on it whatsoever and my boat was happy because it was a good piece. My coach asked me afterwards what was up because he’d never seen me like that in the boat before. He said his first clue that something was off was as soon as we crossed the finish line I buried my head in hands and started crying, which is really unlike me, especially on the water.

Fast forward about three weeks to Penn AC. The guys were doing 4x2ks and I ended up coxing the last one. Up to that point I’d been having a great week so I was feeling pretty good all around. Seeing how well the guys had been doing up to this point just sent my enthusiasm levels through the roof and having the guy at stroke say to me “let’s go fuck this other boat up” before the start just totally did it for me. Thinking back on it, I was willing to take the risk I did because I was feeling good about myself and the boat, which was translated to my body language (I was in a “high power” stance, or as close as you can get in the boat), which then translated how I felt to those that were watching us. Compared to the piece I did with my own eight, my testosterone and cortisol levels were probably the exact opposite of what they were before. I felt completely in control and wasn’t stressed because I knew that no matter what I said the guys were gonna go with me.

I called for a move with 750m to go that took the other crew by complete surprise and helped us get even with them after being about a length or so down — something we should not have been able to do given the difference in size and experience between the two boats. It was a risk and as one of the coaches later said, a ballsy one at that. It could have backfired and killed the momentum we’d built up but in the moment that wasn’t even something I was thinking about. Later on I ended up talking with another coach about that piece and they said that they had a feeling that I was going to do something “crazy” just based on my body language. He said that he told the rower that was riding with him to watch our boat because “she’s gonna do something … I don’t know what or when but she’s gonna do something and they’re gonna move.”

That definitely ranked in the top 5 compliments I’ve gotten on my coxing and it really boosted my confidence even though I had no real reason to need a confidence boost. It’s not like I needed any kind of validation on my coxing skills (but when has something like that ever hurt…). Put yourself in that situation though or go back to a time when something similar happened to you — how awesome would/did you feel immediately afterwards? What would/did that do for your confidence? And now think that it has nothing to do with your coxing, it all came straight from what your body language was communicating.

There are a lot of different connections to be made here which can get confusing trying to put all the pieces together, so, to recap:

Non-verbals communicate to other people as well as to ourselves

Positive non-verbals = “happy” feelings; negative non-verbals = “sad” feelings

Happy/sad = confident/not confident

“Fake it ’til you make it” = mind shaping the body

Confident/not confident = dominant/powerless, indicated through testosterone and cortisol levels

Feelings of confidence or lack thereof displayed through “high power”/”low power” body stances

“High power”/”low power” stances = higher/lower risk tolerance, higher/lower testosterone, lower/higher cortisol

Non-verbals govern how we think/feel about ourselves

Bodies change our mind

This video from the Harvard Business Review also gives a good, quick overview in simple terms of what’s been talked about so far.

Back to the Ted Talk, fast forward to 13:50 where she’s talking about what you’re doing before a job interview. Translate this to race day or right before your first practice of the season on the water with a group of people you’ve never coxed before. Instead of making yourself small and finding ways to distract yourself from “the big moment”, you should be making yourself big by spending two minutes in one of your power poses.

Fast forward again to 15:10. It’s not about what you’re saying, it’s about your presence. This is something I really want the novice coxswains to pay attention to. You can listen to as many recordings as you want and borrow as many calls as you want from all the great coxswains out there but if you lack presence, what you say isn’t going to matter. What you say is not what makes you seem more confident or like you know what you’re doing, it’s how. you. say. it. and the vibe you’re giving off as you do it.

When she’s talking about her car accident, going to Princeton, and feeling like she didn’t belong, that’s intense stuff but it’s something that in one way or another we can relate to because we’ve all felt that way at some point. Some of you have said that you don’t feel like you belong at crew because you’re just not confident enough, you don’t think you’ll ever have the personality for coxing, etc. and that you want to quit. I’m going to say to you what her professor said to her:

You’re not quitting. You’re gonna stay and this is what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna fake it. You’re gonna cox every boat you ever get asked to cox, you’re gonna do it and do it and do it, even if you’re terrified and paralyzed and having an out of body experience until you have this moment where you say “Oh my gosh, I’m doing it. I have become this. I am actually doing this.”

Don’t fake it ’til you make it, fake it ’til you become it. There’s a saying that says “don’t practice until you do it right, practice until you don’t do it wrong” that is along the same lines. Don’t fake it and practice your skills until you’re confident in yourself for one practice, practice until you’re confident in your skills every practice and you don’t have to fake that confidence anymore because you’ve actually become confident.

Do I have all the answers for how to become a more confident coxswain? No, but what I do have is a way that you can become more confident as a person which will hopefully translate to you becoming more confident as a coxswain. Win-win, right? And don’t gimme that bullshit of “oh, *scoffs* that’s lame, that’s silly, it won’t work, I’ll look pretentious, this is just smart people talk about smart people stuff that only smart people do, etc.” Don’t knock it before you try it. I fully admit that I am one of those people that definitely thought stuff like this was ridiculous until a time came when I needed stuff like this just to make it through the day. Try it for a week and then tell me you don’t feel just a little bit better about yourself and that your coxing isn’t improved by your new-found positive attitude towards yourself.

As she says at the end of her talk, try the power posing and share the science. I shared it with all of you so now I want you to share it with someone else. Forward the link to a coxswain on your team that you see struggling with his/her confidence because like she said, those without resources and power are the ones who need it most. Novice coxswains tend to lack both. This also goes for coxswains who are moving up to varsity. Hopefully they’ve found a few resources that have helped them learn the ins-and-outs of coxing but they might still be lacking when it comes to power so share this with them too.

College High School Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

Next year (most likely) I’m going to be a sophomore novice rower. Practices are for 2 hours, 6 days a week. I’m really stressed out about not having a social life or time for homework. I’m assuming you’re in high school or rowed in high school, so how did you manage? Was it really bad?

It wasn’t that bad, to be honest. I did marching band all four years in addition to coxing and at some point probably spent just as many hours doing band-related stuff each week as I did crew stuff in the spring … this lead to learning insane time management skills.

First, my social life. I had two groups of friends in high school, my band friends and my crew friends. I didn’t see much of or hang out with my crew friends until winter rolled around unless some of crew friends also happened to be band friends, which several were. In the summer and fall though, 100% of my “circle” was in band. In between full rehearsals and sectionals we’d all go get lunch together and then spend the next hour talking and complaining about shit (the weather, our music, time commitments, school, college, bad reality TV, etc.). If we had rehearsals in the evening, some of us would show up an hour or so early because we were section leaders and had stuff to do before practice started. Usually someone would bring popsicles and we’d hang out together while doing whatever we had to do. After practice the whole band would normally stick around for another 45 minutes, sometimes just to hang out, other times because the parents brought everyone food. Sometimes my group of friends and I would go to this legendary donut place downtown (at like, 10pm), grab some donuts, and then either go driving around for a bit, go see a movie, or go sit by the river and hang out. This usually added another couple of hours to the amount of time I spent “at band” in the evenings.

In the fall when school started, our rehearsal schedule would change slightly but we’d also add in football games on Friday nights and competitions on Saturdays. Friday nights were great because 75% of the football game was spent just hanging out. We’d warm-up ahead of time, run through the show, do pre-game, occasionally play a song when they’d score, do halftime, play a few more songs, do post-game and be done. The rest of the time we’d just be sitting in the stands doing whatever. One of my friends and I spent a solid four games in a row our junior year trying to learn the Harry Potter theme song without music. That was fun. Other times we’d bring cards and play Poker or something. After the game, we’d have to load everything up so we’d be ready for the competition the following day and also clean up the stadium, which we got paid to do. From there we’d either all go get food, go bowling for a bit, or if it was really late, just head home (this was rare though). Saturdays were an all day thing with competitions so we were stuck with each other for at least 12 hours, if not more.

We didn’t have a fall rowing program because nearly everyone on the team (100ish people) was either playing a fall sport or was in marching band, so we only had winter training and a spring season. Because we traveled out of the state of Ohio for all but maybe two of our seven or eight regattas, we were excused from school on Fridays so we could travel. Nearly every Friday through Sunday starting in early April and going through the end of May from 2002-2006 I spent in hotels and on charter buses. We’d race Friday afternoons or Saturday mornings through early Sunday afternoon and then get back late Sunday night, sometimes really early on Monday morning. And yes, we had to be at school on Monday. Because of this, in addition to all the time we spent at practice, we spent a lot of time around each other. On Thursday night before races we’d have boat dinners, so we’d either go to a restaurant and monopolize a table for 3+ hours or we’d go to someone’s house, eat a TON of pizza, make t-shirts, watch movies, and just hang out.

The point I’m trying to make with all of this is yes, I had a very busy schedule for 10 months out of the year, but because 99.9% of my friends did the same things I did, I never felt like I didn’t have time to socialize or was missing out on something. We were always around each other, whether at practice or while traveling, and there was always plenty of down time for us to do normal teenager stuff. Both groups of my friends and I all determined pretty quickly that anyone who did row or wasn’t in band probably wasn’t as much fun to hang out with anyways. We never really had any problems with being around each other that much either, which still amazes me. There were definitely times when we would get irritated with one another but I think the fact that we all realized in order for the band or boat to do well, we needed to suck it up and get over it. Tensions like that, in addition to being plain annoying, were just a hindrance to whatever it was we were trying to accomplish.

With regards to school, homework, etc., like I said earlier, you really learn how to manage your time well. Granted there are times when you just say “fuck it” and slack off for whatever reason but you quickly find that all that does is put you in a hole that becomes progressively harder to climb out of as the season progresses. I definitely did this a couple times but my teachers were great and knew what our schedules were like, so they usually cut us a little bit of slack and worked with us so we could get all of our stuff done and turned in. They had every right to not do that but the fact that they did really only encouraged us to work harder. It taught us too that if we want to do crew or band and do well in school, we had to set limits and manage our time properly.

Our coaches were really on us about our grades too. They knew when report cards came out and they’d come up to every single one of us and ask how we did. Not in an interrogative way, luckily, but because they were genuinely that invested in us. This also really encouraged us to work hard and stay on top of things because we knew our coaches wanted to see us succeed off the water too. There were several times that I can remember them telling someone they weren’t going to be able to row for a certain amount of time until they picked their grades up and most of the time the kids did the work and got it done. Other times they just said screw it and quit (and continued not doing their work).

In the fall I’d leave my books at school on the days when I had evening rehearsals and just go an hour or two before I normally would so I could get started on (and hopefully finish) my homework. This worked for me because it forced me to give myself a much needed break in the two hours of in-between time. It was also great because those of us that had classes together would all get there early, pile into someone’s car, go grab some dinner, head back to the high school, and then do work until rehearsal started. I swear the only reason I passed some of my math tests is because my friends that were better at math than me helped me out while we were there. By doing this though we were able to not only get our work done but hang out at the same time.

In the spring I’d sometimes bring whatever book we were reading in English with me but doing homework when you’re stuck on a bus for 5+ hours isn’t too appealing, so I did the majority of my work at home like a normal person. Because I was only really at home for four days during the week, I had to get all my work for the rest of the week and the beginning of the following week done so I could turn it in early and not have to worry about doing anything when I got back at 11pm on Sunday night. When I was in school if I was sitting in a particularly boring class I’d get out my homework for another class and work on it. Obviously you’ve gotta be careful about doing this but as long as you’re stealthy you won’t have a problem. If my friends and I weren’t going out for lunch I’d try and get something accomplished during that time for at least one class. Most often this was when I worked on chem labs since that didn’t require much work, just a lot of writing and some math.

You quickly find out what your priorities are when you have a busy schedule like that. It definitely helps when your friends do the same things you do because then you can hang out while you’re at practice and not have to sacrifice any of your “outside” time if you can’t/don’t want to. In the grand scheme of things though, especially if you’re not planning on rowing in college, school has got to be the number one priority. Even if you are planning to row in college, school still has to be first because you can’t row in college unless you can get into college.

Plus, if you find that the time commitment is too much and you really miss not being able to hang out with your friends, it’s not like you can’t walk away (at the end of the season, NEVER in the middle). You’re not bound to the team the entire time you’re in high school. Again, it comes down to priorities. You might love rowing but if your participation in it comes at the detriment of other stuff, you need to re-evaluate why you’re doing it, what you’re getting out if it, if it’s something you’re planning on sticking with for a long time, etc. Crew is great but it’s not the end all, be all. If there are other things that are important to you, you have to put in the effort and make time for them. If they’re not important, most likely you’ll find a reason or an excuse to not make the time. It’s very rarely about finding time, it’s about making it and once again, it all comes down to priorities.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

Hello! How do you get adjusted to a new team and location? I’m wondering because I am transferring schools and I’m really nervous about getting adjusted. I know that each team might have a different way of docking or calling different things. I’m coxing and I worried that if I don’t know those specific things because they are different that I won’t seem as authoritative.

The best – BEST – thing you can do, not only for yourself but your new teammates as well, is to talk to them. Talk to the other coxswains and ask them to give you a tour of the boathouse, show you where the cox boxes are, etc. and ask them to go over the calls they use because, like you said, everyone does things a little differently. Different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong but it is good to have a consistent language when telling people what to do or how to do things. I’ve never been “the new kid” anywhere so I can’t speak from personal experience but I’d suggest just going into it with an open mind, a friendly and confident attitude, and a flexible mindset. Things will inevitably be different so it’s important to not be 100% set or stuck in your old team’s ways. Adaptability at the beginning is going to be what the coaches look for in terms of how coachable you are. If you’re open to adjusting to the ways of your new team and not constantly saying “well, my old team did this” or “that’s not what my old team does”, things will work out a lot better for you, both in terms of making new friends and vying for the spot in the top boat.

Talk to your coaches too and figure out how they like to run their practices. We had an issue…well, not even an issue really, more so just lots of miscommunication…last week with a coxswain who was used to running practices on her own with the bare-minimum of input from her coach, whereas our coach likes to call the switches during warm-ups or tell her when to start/stop specific drills himself (as opposed to doing it for a certain number of strokes). At first, as a coxswain, this kind of bothered me but once I found out why he liked to do things like that it made a lot more sense (as a coach; as a coxswain, it still annoys me). The downside to this whole thing though was that it turned what should have been a good day on the water for this coxswain (on her first day back from Henley) into a stressful one that didn’t really leave the greatest of impressions on the other coach and I. Looking back on it, someone should have said “this is how I/we like to run practices, etc.” that way everyone would have been on the same page. His preference for how he liked to run things wasn’t something I knew either until the middle of practice when I asked but going forward I’ll know that that kind of stuff is something I need to go over with coxswains before going out.

Related: Hey. I’m just beginning as a coxswain on the men’s team at a D3 college and had a question about the relationship between the captain and the coxswain. They’re both supposed to be leading the team, so where do their jobs differ? I understand that in the boat, of course, the coxswain is in charge but I was wondering more how you handle your relationship with the captain leadership-wise during practices, on land, for team affairs, other leadership functions aside from specifically coxing the boat, etc. How much captain control is too much? I’ve heard that coxswains are supposed to run practices when the coach isn’t around and during the offseason but my captain has been doing that. I realize I’m new so it makes sense, but if I weren’t, theoretically, is that atypical? Thanks for all of posting all of these things. It’s been really helpful.

I can’t encourage you enough though to talk to them though and ask them how they do things. Do they like to do all or most of the talking during practice, do they prefer you to call everything on the warm-ups, how much input from you do they want on the water, etc. Ideally you and your coach would have a collaborative and openly communicative relationship but far too often that’s not the case. It’s always best to find that out before you get on the water though and not in the middle of practice.

As far as not sounding authoritative, that goes along with being confident. Talk to the coxswains, figure out their language, and then run that shit like you’ve been there since Day 1. If you sound unsure of yourself the first time you go out with them, the first impression you’re giving is that you’re that coxswain who doesn’t trust herself or her teammates. Don’t be that person! If you make a mistake, who cares. Brush it off and move on. You’ll get a bit of leeway during the first week (hopefully) but after that everyone will expect you to have everything down. Use the first couple of practices to get acquainted with everyone and everything but do that with an air of confidence. Just because you’re going to a new team doesn’t mean that you’re completely resetting the “coxswain” part of your brain. 1% of everything you know might change. Do what you already know how to do and adjust if/when necessary.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

Any words of advice for making the transition from coxing at the high school level to coxing in university? I had my first practice this week (the uni has a club program in the summer) and it’s safe to say that the practice was a little … rocky. Is this normal for the first practice? My coach was really great about it all, saying I have the whole summer to get up to speed and I made sure to take full responsibility for any errors or spotty bits in my communication so as not to start off poorly with the rowers (I’m a girl coxing the men’s team, by the way). But I guess I’m just worried about all the usual things … gaining respect, executing the workout and drills properly, meeting the rowers’ and coach’s expectations, etc. I could rant all day to you about this but I suppose it just comes down to: do I have too high expectations of myself in wanting things to go smoothly right off the bat? How long do you think it will take to get in the swing of things? Sorry if this question isn’t quite coherent.

It is normal I think because you’re coxing people that you don’t know (that well) and haven’t ever coxed before. There’s going to be that initial period in the beginning where things will be a little “off” because they’re getting used to your style, which is probably different than the way their previous coxswain did things, and you’re trying to figure out eight new people in addition to how to manage practice with a different coach. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Once you get to know them and vice versa things will be fine. It’s great that your team has this summer program because, like your coach said, you’ve got all summer to hone your skills and get up to speed which means in the fall you’ll be 100% on top of your game.

Gaining respect comes with time. It can’t always be earned on the first day but it can definitely be lost there. Treat your rowers like you want to be treated, carry out your responsibilities appropriately, effectively, and diligently, own up to your mistakes when necessary, and remember that there are people around who are always willing to help you – all you have to do is ask.

Related: Respect

If you’re worried about the workouts or drills, see if you can meet up with one of your coaches one day to go over the drills they like to do. This would be great to do for two reasons – one, you find out what the drills are, how to do ones that you aren’t familiar with, and can get some basic insight on what the coach is specifically looking for with each one and two, it shows your coach you’re committed to the team, you want to be the best coxswain you can be for your boat, and that you’re willing to put the time and effort in off the water to get better on the water. I feel like people are afraid that something like this would make them look like a kiss-ass but from a coach’s perspective, my respect and level of trust in him/her would skyrocket.

Related: Do coaches generally like it when novice coxes go into their office asking questions about last practice/tips on what they could have done better coxing wise, etc? Or does it make the novice, look like a nervous, needy, annoying cox? That’s what I’m always worried about going into coach’s office. Thanks! I love that you’re a cox/coach and you answer all our questions!

In terms of expectations, wanting to meet the expectations of the rowers and coaches isn’t a bad thing. Just know that right off the bat, they have little to no expectations because they don’t know you. The coaches know you from recruiting (if you went through that process) so they have expectations based off what they’ve seen on paper but that’s all. In the fall, yea, they’ll have some that are more established but I don’t think it’s something you need to seriously concern yourself with right now. I don’t think wanting things to go right immediately means you have expectations that are too high but just remember that the expectations you consider to be reasonable may be considered too high by others. Your expectation of the boat has to be a combination of fifty other minor expectations, which I don’t think is something most coxswains realize. For now, you should have one expectation and that’s of yourself to go out each day and execute practice well. If you can get off the water saying that today was a good day, consider your expectations met. If you can’t say that, don’t necessarily chalk one up in the loss column right away. Instead think about why they weren’t met, what happened, what you can do differently, and then apply your realizations to tomorrow’s practice.

Depending on how often you’re practicing, I’d say give it a week or two. It’s not like you’re a novice learning how to cox for the first time – you already know how to do that. What you’re doing is getting used to coxing a new group of people while being coached by a new group of coaches. That takes time but it sounds like your coaches are really encouraging and I would assume willing to help you should you need it. For now, don’t stress yourself out over anything. The summer is supposed to be relaxing, regardless of what you’re doing. And crew, hard as you might/should be working, should always be enjoyable. Don’t ruin it by over-thinking things. Been there, done that, was 10x more miserable. Use this time to get to know your rowers and don’t be intimidated by them. Like I said earlier, treat them like you want to be treated, be friendly and approachable, spend time with them outside of practice, etc.

How a collegiate coxswain earned her crew’s respect

College Coxing High School How To Novice Teammates & Coaches

How a collegiate coxswain earned her crew’s respect

By

After yesterday’s post on respect went up, I got an email yesterday from a coxswain that I wanted to share. I think most of can say “yup, been there…” and relate to what she’s saying. She brings up a lot of excellent points so I hope everyone is able to take something away from reading this and apply it to your own situation.

Related: RESPECT

“Here’s my story on how I gained respect on my team.

I rowed three sprint seasons at an all-girls’ high school prior to becoming a coxswain in college.  When I joined the team, they were so short on coxswains that they bumped me right up to varsity – in the men’s boat.  Now, I realize that my coxing style is definitely one that works best with men’s teams, but when I joined the team, I was a shy first-year student trying to adjust to life in college who only had experience with women’s rowing and sprint races, and who had clocked in only a few hours in the coxswain’s seat previously.  I was terrified, and although I like to think I didn’t show my nervousness to an extreme degree in the boat, I certainly did not sound sure of myself, and that led to a bumpy season with regards to team dynamics.

Later on in the season, we had a really bad race.  The crank that turned my rudder had corroded to a point at which it would not even turn the rudder to port slightly.  Pair that with steering that still was at a novice level, and you get a race that left us all, including myself, even more unsure of my abilities as a coxswain (I won’t go into details – but it was hairy).

That was when I talked to my coach, who told me to meet with my stroke seat to come up with a game plan and a list of goals; my coach’s logic was that if you have one of the rowers on your side, the rest are more likely to follow suit, especially if it’s the stroke seat who naturally assumes a leadership role in the boat.  There, he told me something that has stuck with me.  This particular comment only applies to my situation, but the general sentiment, I think, applies to all crews.  My stroke seat didn’t mince words, looked me straight in the eye, and said:

“We are a boat of eight big, cocky guys who all think we’re better than everyone.  We’re bigger than you, stronger than you, older than you, and we don’t give a shit that you rowed longer than most of us have.  So we’re not going to give you respect; you have to take it from us.”

Let me first say that the guys I coxed that season are not the brand of asshole that you would think after reading that comment. And obviously it wasn’t meant to be – nor was it taken as – an enumeration of my flaws. It was just a glimpse into the mind of a college men’s crew.  But it was exactly what I needed.I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that within a week of having that conversation with my stroke seat, my coxing did a total one-eighty turn.  I started as a timid little freshman and ended as a coxswain who would kick her crew’s ass and push them to their limits. And, more importantly, I finally understood something really important about coxing that I think all novice coxswains have to realize, one way or another: you have to know who you’re coxing.  It’s obvious, and you say that on your blog all the time, but that was when I learned it, and it made all the difference in learning how to deserve and earn the respect I wanted.

In my case, I had to (for lack of a better term) sack the fuck up and be willing to get a little mean, because I was coxing men who respond best to (constructive, not over-the-top) aggressiveness and a no-bullshit coxing style.  In cases like yours, it might be figuring out how to bridge the age-gap, if a coxswain is much younger than his or her crew.  In all cases, it’s a matter of being flexible and letting WHO you’re coxing inform you HOW to cox them.  For me, I gained respect by yanking it away from them and claiming it as my own, making it absolutely clear that I am not to be messed with.  For someone else, it might be totally different.  But the underlying principle is the same no matter what: respect has to be earned, not just given, not because “ree-rah I have the microphone so what I say goes” and not because of some divine right thereto.”

Image via // NBC Olympics
RESPECT

College Coxing High School How To Novice Teammates & Coaches

RESPECT

By

I get emails and questions from coxswains all. the. time. that read like lyrics from an Aretha Franklin song.

“All I’m askin’ … is for a little respect.”

They want to know how to get their boat, their coaches, the team, etc. to respect them because they are coxswain, hear them roar. I applaud the tenacity and enthusiasm but there are some things you’ve gotta understand first, starting with the fact that wanting, earning, getting, and deserving respect are four completely different things. You might want respect and feel like you deserve it but you have to earn it before you get it.

I’m not going to say this is a foolproof guide to gaining respect but it’s a start.

Respect is a two-way street

You have to give respect to get it in return. You’re in charge of the rowers but you’re not and they have to obey your commands but at the same time they don’t. It’s a respect and safety thing. It starts out as pure safety and then as you spend more time on the water together it blends to a mix of the two. This is really where it all begins. You get thrown in the boat as a novice after hearing from your coach that the rowers have to listen to you because you’re the coxswain, it’s your job to be in charge, etc. and we instantly develop this Napoleon complex and think we’re the shit because we get to boss people who are bigger than us around. Nope nope nope. If you get in the boat thinking that the rowers are your minions out to do your bidding, you’re setting yourself up for apocalyptic failure.

Related: Words

In the beginning they have to listen to you because they don’t know what they’re doing and by being in your position it’s assumed you do (even when you don’t either). Someone has to tell them what to do and they have to listen because…they just do. As you start coming together as a boat — as a crew — they start listening to you not out of necessity but because they trust you and your judgement (on everything…). In order for this to happen, you have to gain their trust and in order to do that, you have to afford your crew the same level of respect that you desire in return.

Be in control of every situation by staying calm and composed

The strongest leaders are the ones who can silence a crowd without raising their voice. Yelling or being loud just to be loud doesn’t mean you’re taking charge — it means you’re straining your vocal cords for no reason.

Show up

Show up physically (never on time or late, always early), emotionally (what happens outside of crew stays outside of crew, don’t start or perpetuate unnecessary drama, etc.), mentally (be ready to do work and get shit done), and spiritually. If you’ve rowed long enough, or maybe if you’ve only rowed for one season, you know what I mean by “spiritually”. It’s that feeling you have when you show up at the boathouse and get on the water that can’t be explained to anyone who’s never experienced it. This quality must be infectious in you — when your crew isn’t feeling it one day, they should be able to look at you and feed off your energy.

Experience “the dark place”

Have you ever seen a rower doing a 2k or looked into your stroke’s eyes during an all out, balls to the wall piece, and been able to see hell in their eyes?That is the place I’m talking about. Soldiers won’t follow a general into battle if the general has never been in their shoes before. It’s not about pulling a certain split or getting a certain time; if your 2:04 split makes you feel the same way your rower feels when pulling a 1:39, so be it. The numbers don’t matter. It’s about the toll being put on your mind and body.

One of the biggest ways to gain the respect of your crew is to never ask them to give more than you could give yourself. Don’t say “I know you’re hurting” if you’ve never experienced what they’re going through. Wherever and whatever the dark place is for you, go there every once in awhile to remind yourself of just how strong your teammates are. Every time you finish I guarantee that you’ll be newly enlightened with an even greater sense of admiration for what they put their bodies through. (Don’t make the fatal mistake of confusing hero worship and respect though.) Remind yourself of that “wow, these guys” feeling every time you call for a power ten or the build into your sprint or “everything you got, put it on the line, right here“.

No matter what the situation is, its never “you” and “them”, it’s “us” and “we”

This can not be emphasized enough. You are not eight rowers and one coxswain. There is not an invisible divide between the stroke seat and the ninth seat. You are ONE crew. That subtle change in linguistics says a lot and it’s something I really pay attention to as a coach. You want your teammates to consider you as part of the crew?Act like one. When talking about your boat, it’s never “they’re doing this”, it’s “we’re doing this”. “They” didn’t row poorly, “we” rowed poorly. “You” don’t want this, “we” want this.

When you say “they”, it’s as though you’re excluding yourself from whatever follows. “They” had a bad race. “They” had a great day on the water. Don’t you think you played a part in that? If you only include yourself in the positive and not the negative, what do you think that says to your teammates? That you only want to be involved in their success but never their failure. On the flip side, if you never include yourself in the positive it gives off the impression that you’re not considering your own contributions, which opens the door for the rowers to not consider them either. I’ll say it again — you are not eight rowers and one coxswain. You are ONE crew.

Always learn from your experiences, positive and negative, on the water and off

Every opportunity is a chance to learn something new or reinforce something you’ve learned previously. You should be soaking it in every chance you get. You can’t do that if you consider yourself anything less than a sponge at any given moment during practice. That glazed over, “kill me now” look in your eyes during winter training? Yea, stop that. Your coach is talking to 3-seat on the water about keeping his inside shoulder relaxed and you’re staring at the group of people picnicking on shore? Yea, stop that too. You can read about technique all you want but reading is only going to take you so far. It’s a book sense vs. street sense kind of thing. You need to be in the boat, in the launch, watching video, etc. Your rowers notice when you’re taking advantages of these opportunities and your coaches absolutely notice when they hear you make a call based off of something they said individually to a rower (or even to the crew as a whole). It shows that you’re invested, engaged, and doing your part to make the boat go fast.

Rowers add meters to their stroke by erging, lifting, etc. You add meters to all of their strokes by filling your brain with useful information that you’ve attained through every avenue possible, not just from reading a blog online (although that’s a good start, if I do say so myself), and then delivering it in the most effective way(s) possible. In a similar vein, don’t coach beyond your level of experience. If you’re a novice coxswain, don’t try to cox like you’ve been doing it for ten years. I understand the intentions but more often times than not it comes off as obnoxious and your coxing ends up being just plain bad. Don’t cox what you don’t understand.

Reaction time is crucial

One of the first things I was taught as a novice was that you have to be able to experience, analyze, and react to situations no less than five seconds before they happen. You have to anticipate everything and anything. Ten different scenarios have to be going through your head at any given time and you’ve got to have a plan for every single one. Something that hurts novice rowers in the earning respect department is having horrible reaction times to what’s happening on the water. This usually occurs more when they’re coxing experienced crews but novice crews can also tell when their coxswain is showing up to the party late (and not in a fashionable way).

Your rowers shouldn’t have to take control of the boat because YOU should already have it under control. If rowers are calling for something to happen or telling you to do/call something, that’s a problem because you should have already done or called it. You earn respect from your rowers by demonstrating an unwavering capability to take control of a situation if and, most especially, when the situation warrants. This also relates to what I said at the beginning — calm and composed, never freaking out. For clarification/elaboration, reaction times doesn’t apply only to a situation that could be considered dangerous. It also applies to you calling for the starboards to lift their hands immediately after the boat goes offset, telling the crew exactly what needs to happen in order to recover from a crab and get back into the piece, etc.

Stand up for yourself and always be confident in your calls, decisions, and actions

Your teammates, including other coxswains, are only going to be assholes to you if you let them. If they think they can get away with it, nothing’s going to stop them from telling you to shut up, stop being such a goody two-shoes, or to straight up fuck off. You are in a position on the team that invites a lot of criticism and you have to have a thick layer of skin to deal with it. Confidence is non-negotiable. If you question yourself every time you do something or you let people walk all over you, no one is going to respect you because you don’t respect yourself.

Something I heard a college coach tell a novice coxswain a few weeks ago was “don’t invite contradiction”. I’ve heard that phrase many times in many different situations over the years and have always liked it. A coach I worked with this year said that he’d rather have a coxswain steer directly into a bridge than debate about what to do to avoid it in the five seconds before they hit it. Sticking to your convictions, regardless of whether the outcome is good or bad, is important. Being able to defend why you did something is better than doing something and not having a reason for why you did it.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

I consider my crew to be very lucky. We possibly have one of the best coxswains around. She can steer like a BOSS and has the patience and the nature of a saint. However I think we pushed her to her limits at one point and I don’t think I have ever seen her that angry. I often read this blog and I always read tips on what makes a great coxswain, how to deal with your rowers, and things not to do however I would like to hear from a coxie’s point of view is what are the things that rowers do that really sets you off edge and how we can avoid those things. I know coxies are all different (…and I have had some interesting ones at times) but it would really help if you could give some pointers from a coxswain. As rowers our biceps are sometimes bigger than our brains so it would help if you could give us some insight. Thanks…oh, and great blog!

This is the best question ever. It’s great that you recognize how lucky you are to have a such a skillful, knowledgeable, and personable coxswain. Out of curiosity, how did you push her to her limits? Were there any repercussions? How did you apologize? (You did apologize, right?)

Things that rower’s do that irritate coxswains:

Talk or screw around in the boat, especially if you’re in bow pair.

This drives me nuts. There’s a time and a place for it and 99% of the time, while you’re on the water is not it. The reason it annoys me is not because I think that the boat should be some kind of rigid, military-like atmosphere while we’re out but because if I’m trying to get you to do something and you’re not doing it because you’re talking or screwing around with someone else, time is being wasted. If we say “bow six, row” we mean bow six, not bow, 2, and 5. Me telling you to take two strokes so I can get my point should not be something I have to repeat three times, especially when my already-loud voice is amplified through a microphone. Plus, my number one job is to maintain the safety of the crew. If I see something that could potentially be or is a dangerous situation, it’s my responsibility to get us away from it as quickly as possible. I can’t do that if no one is paying attention.

To avoid pissing off your coxswain in situations like this, don’t start a conversation with the four people around you as soon as you’re told to weigh enough, always be listening for your coxswain’s instructions (especially if you’re in bow pair), and in general, use your common sense. If the conversation can be had off the water, don’t have it on the water. Also, regarding safety, If we’re rowing and you start yelling things out, please know that I have no clue what you’re saying and I’m basically going to assume that a shark just jumped into the boat and ate your face off or we’re about to hit someone or something. I will stop the boat, ask you what you said, and then get royally pissed at you when you say you were saying something stupid like “set the boat”, “pull harder”, or whatever. Do. Not. Do. This.

Not carrying your own water bottle.

If you can see that your coxswain’s hands, basket, etc. is full or looking particularly heavy, don’t walk over and toss your full water bottle in it just as she’s about to pick it up. Stick your water bottle in your spandex and carry it yourself.

Assuming we know everything the coach is thinking and then getting pissed at us when we don’t.

To quote the person that sent this, “”Will I be rowing today? Will today be hard? What erg piece is he going to make us do next? Will I be in the boat this weekend? What are his plans for ‘X’ boat? Who’s he considering?” While some of these things are stuff coxswains SHOULD know, there is a lack communication, and/or coaches can change their minds in a heart beat if the need be.” Feel free to ask your coxswain these questions but know more often times than not that they are just as clueless as you.

Assuming you’re not doing something your coxswain (and/or coach) says you are and/or not making a change when it’s called for.

If your coach tells you to make an adjustment or points out something you’re doing, it’s our job to remind you to do it and then reinforce it as we row. Don’t assume that you’re not doing something that two people are making an effort to point out to you that you are and please don’t actually say out loud to us that you aren’t doing it. We’re looking directly at your blades so if we say that you’re skying, digging it in, late to the catch, washing out at the finish, etc. you can bet that you’re doing it.

Don’t be that guy in the boat that has such an ego that he refuses to make any changes either. If we say your name or seat number or “bow 4” or “stern 4” or “starboards” or whatever part of the boat you’re a part of, make. an. effort. to make the change we’re calling for. We can see and feel when people make those changes and as you get more experienced you can tell who specifically did and didn’t do it. I haven’t had this happen too often to me when I’ve coxed but the few times it has it’s made me feel a little disrespected and like you don’t think I actually know what I’m talking about. I understand “getting in the zone” and tuning other things out but your coxswain should not be one of those things.

Unnecessarily taking control of the boat/backseat coxing.

There are only two reasons that I can think of (as a coach and coxswain) of why it would be acceptable for a rower to take control of the boat. One is if the the coxswain is legitimately unable to cox (99.9% of the time due to a medical reason – I’ve seen this happen once) and the other is if they’re a novice and genuinely don’t know the right things to say and/or are inadvertently putting the crew in a dangerous situation. At that point the only person in the boat who should be saying anything is the stroke.

If you are shouting at your coxswain or the rest of the crew to do something, you’re undermining the coxswain’s authority. If they’re a novice, this can really hurt them in terms of trying to gain the respect of the crew. If they’re experienced it can actually make the rowers lose respect for them because it comes off as them not knowing what to do or what’s going on or more importantly, not being strong-willed enough to stand up to the rowers (who, by the power vested in them by the coach, they are technically in charge of while on the water).

Yelling at your coxswain after the fact.

Sometimes coxswains do things that piss the rowers off and you are well within your right to call them out on that. Waiting until you’re off the water and the boat and oars are put away to lose your shit on them though accomplishes absolutely nothing and only makes you look like an ass. Instead of screaming at them about whatever happened, ask them when you get off the water if you can talk to them after practice and then go down on the dock away from the rest of the team and have a conversation with them. I’m not saying the conversation has to be friendly or anything because emotions happen and I get that, but at the very least it does have to be civil. Explain what the issue is, why it’s an issue, and what you’d hope they could do differently in the future.

If the issue is really serious, talk to your coach and let them do the yelling. That’s their job. (Well, not really but you know what I mean.) If you’re more experienced than your coxswain (i.e. varsity vs. novice), you have a responsibility and a duty to help teach them and yelling is not how you go about doing that, even if at times that seems to be the quick, go-to, natural reaction. Don’t shatter their confidence before they’ve had a chance to even build any.

Bringing up a past bad race, piece, or loss to your coxswain.

That shit isn’t funny. I promise you – promise you – with absolute certainty that coxswains take these things way harder than any rower. For me, I feel a personal sense of responsibility whenever something goes wrong because it’s my boat. I’m in charge. Regardless of whether whatever made it bad was my/our fault or something completely out of our control, it eats at me and takes a while to move past, even if it seems like I’ve gotten over it pretty quickly. If we’re in a similar situation or about to do another piece or racing the same crews, I guarantee that I was already thinking about that “last time” 20 minutes before the thought even crossed your mind. I’m going over everything that happened previously so I can make sure we/I do things better this time. I don’t need you putting on your “snarky rower” hat and saying “don’t fuck up!” because I’ve been saying that to myself since I first got in the boat.

Trying to get them to be a clone of your old, last, or favorite coxswain.

I hate when coaches switch lineups and who’s coxing who each week because it causes issues for everyone. What makes things especially awkward though is when you get in a boat with a new coxswain and ask them to do everything the exact same as another coxswain on the team. The person who sent me this said that asking a coxswain to call, say, or do things the same way as another coxswain feels disrespectful and like you’re just putting up with them being in the boat because the coach put them there and not because you actually want them to be there.

I’m a big proponent of collaborative coxing while still maintaining your own individual style and way of doing things. If you had a coxswain that had this one call that you really responded to, by all means, absolutely  talk to your new coxswain about it and ask if he/she would mind trying to incorporate it into their calls. Explain why so they can get a bit of background on why it works and why you like it. If they’re smart though they’ll have already talked with the previous coxswain of their new boat to see what works and what doesn’t when coxing them, what they respond to, what they like, etc.

I hope that helps. Coxswains, feel free to leave a comment and elaborate on something I’ve said or add something I didn’t mention.