Category: Q&A

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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Hello! I was wondering if you have any tips for when you feel burned out with coxing. I just don’t feel like I’m really doing my best in the boat and I feel like I have rowers who do not appreciate me or all the stress that I’m putting in to be the best I can be. I’m not getting any feedback even though I repeatedly ask for it and just don’t feel like a respected part of the team and while I love this sport I don’t really know what to do.

It’s easy to get burned out on coxing, especially when you’re trying to get better and feel like you’re hitting a wall with every attempt you make. When it comes to asking feedback, more often times than not the reason you’re not getting any is because you’re not asking the right questions. That may or may not be the case here but whenever you talk to your rowers (or coaches), ask them about one or two specific things rather than just “how did I do today”.

Related: Okay. I know you have gotten questions like this before but how do I get people to respect me as a coxswain? I mean I’m fairly knowledgeable, I know how to correct people’s technique and how to work with them to improve. I do most of the workouts with the team but I feel like there is something about me that makes them not respect me. I’m a camp counselor over the summer and I feel like the campers don’t really respect my authority either.

For example, if you’ve been working on your technical eye say something like “I’ve been trying to get better at spotting and calling out technical issues, particularly when we’re going through drills. Today I was focused on the catch and wanted to know if you had any feedback on the calls I was making – were they still too vague or do you think they were better at pointing out the issues and what changes had to be made?” The caveat to asking the rowers stuff like this is that there’s a 50-50 chance they’ll say “uh…I wasn’t paying attention sooo…” or “I don’t remember…”. To combat that it’s best to talk to a couple rowers before you go out and say “this is what I’m working on today, can you give me some feedback after practice?” and then approach them again later once you’re off the water. The same idea applies to your coach when it comes to stuff like steering, developing a better understanding of drills and workouts, etc. The more specific your questions the better the feedback you get will be.

Related: Hey, This past spring season was my first season and I am a novice coxswain. Now I am training with mostly varsity kids for the summer. I want to be be able to get them to respect me but I am really short and weak. I have already tried working out with them. Is there any other way to get their respect? Also, what are some drills that I can do on the water when I am waiting for my coach so my rowers aren’t just sitting around? Thanks for the help!

As far as not feeling like a respected member of the team, talk to your team captains about this (if you have any) and explain why you feel that way. If you don’t have team captains or a varsity rower/coxswain you feel comfortable talking to, approach your coach and ask to meet with them one-on-one. Tell them how you’re feeling and that the result of everything is that you feel really burned out and aren’t sure where to go from here. Hopefully they’ll be able to give you some advice on ways they feel you can improve that you might not have thought of yet and how to work towards earning the respect of the rowers. The thing about coxing is that you have to accept early on that pretty much no one is going to know what you’re doing off the water to get better so you have to take all that behind the scenes work and manifest it into actual actions  on the water … otherwise you’ll just come across as all talk and no game and people will wonder why you’re so stressed for seemingly no reason.

Related: This kind of sounds weird, but I’m a novice coxswain, how do I get my boat to respect me? I feel like (with the exception of calls related to steering and drills) they don’t listen to anything I say in the boat. They talk a lot and I tell them not to but they continue to. They point stuff out to me on the water that I can clearly see and I just feel like they are always yelling at me and telling me what to do. Sometimes I just need to make a decision but I can’t if everyone is yelling at me. I don’t know what to do. I’m learning but the coaches don’t really help me out. Most of the things I’ve learned about coxing I’ve learned from other coxswains on the team or your blog. Do you know how to fix this and get the rowers to listen to me?

If worst comes to worst, you can always take some time off to clear your head and figure out what your next move is. Sometimes taking time off is a good solution because it lets you look at things more objectively whereas when you’re stressed and irritated it’s harder to see where you can do things better/differently. You might also come to the conclusion that as much as you love coxing, the team environment isn’t giving you what you need to make continuing to cox worth it and that walking away from the sport is your best option. The good thing is that we’re nearing the end of the fall season which means you’ll likely have some time to do this before winter training picks up or if your team doesn’t do winter training, you’ll have plenty of time to think about all this before the spring season rolls around.

Coxing How To Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hi, I love your blog! I just started coxing this year and it has been so helpful and informative so far. My question: for my team’s first regatta this fall, I coxed the 3V which I was pretty proud of considering I’m a novice cox and the 1V and 2V are coxed by upperclassmen. However, for the next regatta, I found out I got moved down to the 4V. I want to know why and how I can get back in the 3V, but don’t want to annoy my coaches or seem like I’m resentful or overly focused on myself instead of the team as a whole. I’m not super upset by the switch but I’d really like to be back in the 3V for the spring. Also, I was told to be more “bitchy” in the boat, but I want to make sure I’m constructively assertive and not mean or unnecessarily aggressive. Do you have any suggestions for how to talk to my coaches about this or to get back into a higher boat, or tips for being “bitchy” in a helpful way? Sorry if this question has already been answered! Thanks so much!

Just talk to your coaches. Approach it casually and maturely and say “I didn’t mind being in the 4V but my goal for the spring is to cox the 3V. Is there anything that prompted the switch when we raced and if so, what can I do to work on that so I can have a better shot at the 3V?” Trust me, it really is that simple. As long as you don’t come off entitled or anything like that when you ask, they’re not going to care that you brought it up. If anything they’ll probably appreciate the fact that you’re talking with them about it because it shows your commitment to getting better.

As far as “being bitchy in a helpful way”, I think you first have to narrow it down to what’s actually being referenced. Are they saying you need to be more assertive with your execution in general or something smaller, like your calls just need a bit more “punch” behind them? I’ve heard people say “be more of a bitch” in reference to so many different aspects of coxing that I honestly don’t even know what they mean anymore (and truthfully, it’s really starting to aggravate me). If your rowers are speaking in a general sense, I tend to interpret that as them saying they want you to be more on top of them about the little details – aka hold them accountable for the changes they need to make, the rate/splits they’re supposed to be at, etc.

I was just talking about this with our coxswains yesterday when we went over their coxswain evals and what I told them was that they need to know not just the standards and expectations that we (the coaches) have for each crew but they also need to know the standards and expectations that the rowers have for themselves and then aggressively hold them to that. That combined with knowing the appropriate technical calls to make (and when) and understanding the focus and purpose of each drill/workout so you can cox them accordingly is how you present yourself as a “constructively assertive” coxswain.

College Q&A Teammates & Coaches Training & Nutrition

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Hey, quick question: I’m a coxswain on a collegiate club team and lately we’ve been having some issues with sick people missing practices. Our (very old-school) coach’s opinion is unless you’re dying, you’re at practice, but some of my teammates want to stay home if they’re feeling a little sick because they think rowing while sick will make the illness a lot worse and take them out for longer. I’ve also heard that it’s safe to row if the sickness is below the neck but that you should stay home if there’s an issue with the head or throat, but I’m not sure if that’s medically accurate. So I was just wondering, at what point is someone “too sick to row” in your opinion?

I’ve got a post on this exact subject scheduled for next Thursday so keep an eye out for that. The “above the neck/below the neck” adage is pretty standard and what most athletes tend to follow (typically on the advice of their athletic trainers, coaches, or family doctors). Runny noses and sore throats are generally OK to practice with (just back off on your workouts for a day or two and you’ll be fine) but if you develop a fever or your cold makes its way into your chest (like with bronchitis), then you definitely need to take a step back and rest for a couple days.

We’ve got several guys on the team sick right now (one with mono who is out for the fall, one with bronchitis who I haven’t seen in like a week and a half, another who found out last week that his persistent cold is actually asthma (on top of him actually having a cold), etc.) and as tough as it can make putting lineups together, it really is in everyone’s best interest that they take time off to recover and get back to 100%. The guys that have a standard cold will come and erg, row in the tanks, bike, or go for a run in lieu of rowing so they’re still getting a decent workout in but they’re able to go at a more “relaxed” pace (or stop midway through if necessary) based on how they’re feeling. No one abuses the coaches understanding and generosity when it comes to giving them time off or an alternate workout when they’re sick and in return, the coaches trust the rowers when they say they’re sick and as such expect them to follow up with our trainers/doctors accordingly.

As far as what defines being “too sick to row…” … I don’t know if you can say what being too sick to row is because it’s going to be different for everyone. Obviously if you have a fever, a cough that’s making it hard to breathe, or something like that then you should definitely not be at practice but if it’s just a regular cold then I think you have to trust the person who’s sick when they say how they’re feeling. I would give them the benefit of the doubt if they say they need a day off because faking your symptoms just to get out of practice or whatever is just pathetic (especially as a college student/adult) and if they’re an otherwise committed member of the team, you don’t really have any reason to not believe them when they say they’re not feeling 100%.

Since you’re a club team, I assume that the majority of the policies in place are enacted by team-elected student officials…? It might be worth discussing with them some sort of official “sick” rule that lays out when people should and should not be at practice, what the alternative workouts/plans are if you’re not well enough to go on the water but still OK to practice, and then present that to your coach so that there’s no (or at the very least, fewer) issues going forward. Old-school coaches tend to be very set in their ways (I had two in high school and while they were great in so many ways, we did occasionally have issues similar to this) and of the opinion that if they can survive all the ailments and maladies they had to deal with growing up (without the benefits of modern medicine), then the rest of us should be able to do that too. Different times call for different measures though so sitting down with the team leaders and hashing out a “team sick policy” is probably your best long-term solution.

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I am a girl and I recently joined a new club team that has a very small group of girls and a very large group of guys. I started out coxing the novice guys so I know them pretty well and we work well together but recently I was switched to coxing the for girls. I feel like I work better with the guys and would like to go back to coxing for them. How do I approach my coach about this without sounding like I am complaining or being a team player?

I would first talk with the guys coach to see if there’s even a spot available for another coxswain on the team before you talk with your coach. (Even if you think there is, don’t assume anything until you’ve heard confirmation from the coach.) It’s like looking for a job – you shouldn’t quit your original job until you’ve landed another one otherwise you’re probably gonna get screwed. Same general principle applies here … at least in my opinion. You don’t have to go into all the details but I’d say something along the lines of you enjoyed being on the guys team, felt you worked well with him (the coach) and the rowers, and wanted to know if you were to switch back to the men’s team in the spring season (not mid-season, because that’s a shitty thing to do and not indicative of a “team player”), would there be a spot open for you and would you be able to compete right away for whatever boat it is you want. I’d let them know that you haven’t talked to your coach about this yet either but plan to do so within the next few days, just so they don’t end up saying something to them that puts you in an awkward position by giving your coach the impression that you’re going behind his/your team’s back.

If the men’s coach says there’d be a spot for you then the next step is talking with your coach. I would ask to meet with them one-on-one before or after practice and just lay out that when you started with the club you coxed with the men’s team and really enjoyed it because of XYZ. Explain to them your reasons for wanting to switch back to coxing them and try to avoid throwing anyone on your current team under the bus or saying something that implies you just like the other people better. Doing that is just going to come off wrong and won’t do you any favors. You don’t want to burn any bridges in the process of switching teams so you have to be as professional as possible about it and frame everything so that your reasons are about how/why you’ll thrive and have the kind of success you want with the other team and not about just liking a certain group of people more than another.

If the men’s coach says there isn’t a spot for you, accept that and figure out a way to work with your current teammates. Try talking with some of the varsity coxswains to see if they have any advice or if there’s something more serious going on, talk about it with your coach and ask them what advice they have for developing a better working relationship with the girls in your boat. Figuring out how to work well with people that you don’t necessarily get along or see eye-to-eye with is a solid life skill and this is a good opportunity to figure out some strategies for how to do that. (I always felt it came in handy in high school and college when working on group projects since group projects, you know, suck…)

I’ve always been of the opinion that a coach can’t tell you that you’re not allowed to switch teams – I just don’t think it’s within their power to do that – so talking with them is more of a courtesy thing to let them know what’s going on more than anything else. I do think they have the right to be a little annoyed though but that shouldn’t really stop you from doing what you think is best for you/your rowing career. Like I said,  you don’t want to burn any bridges but I also think you need to stick to your guns in situations like this. Coaches have a tendency to guilt trip people into staying on their current team and I personally don’t think that’s fair, for coxswains in particular since how well we work with the people in our boat can literally be the make-or-break factor in determining how well that crew does. Whatever you decide to do, be mature about how you approach things and you should be fine.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hey, so I’ve been dealing with a lot this past month. A kid who I went to elementary school with killed himself in a very public way at the start of the month, which was the Friday of preseason at my high school. I am a coxswain for my school’s varsity team and ever since he died I’ve been slipping in terms of my coxing skills. My coach hasn’t really noticed much change because this is my first season with her as a coach and we could not get on the water the entire first week of the season due to several factors. All she really has noticed is that I am not as loud this year as I was last year (I was the coxswain who didn’t have a box in the 8 so I got to yell and have everyone on this side of Cambridge hear me during practice…)

Unfortunately I do not go to school in my town and no one at my school knows the kids who I grew up with and when I try and bring up the topic with them, conversations die because who wants to talk about the death of a kid who they never met. I feel like it is really hard for me because last year when a girl from my school died suddenly all sports and activities were canceled for a while and grief counselors were brought in, where as I went directly from hearing of my friends death to coxing a boat the next day. Also during the summer a girl who I played youth sports with died of cancer and it was a tragic even for my town’s community, whereas now where nobody knows my friend in my current community I feel like no one really cares about it. I have tried talking to a counselor and friends but no one knows him so they don’t really understand.

I am finding it hard to motivate my self to get out of bed in the morning so how can I motivate my rowers to push them selves during a 2k test or a HOCR piece? I have been thinking about quitting crew but a) it’s just getting to racing season for us and I have no replacement, b) WTF who does that, c) crew is basically a third of my life (my days go school, crew, homework repeat) so if I quit I will end up moaning in my room all the time which is not something I want to take up.

Do you have any advice? Also PS I am only a sophomore in high school as were all my friends who died. Thanks and sorry this is so depressing.

Wow. I am really sorry you’ve been dealing with all that.

I think you have two options, both of which you should do. First, talk with your coach one-on-one and explain what’s been going on. Let her know that you’ve been having a hard time lately due to the deaths of two friends and you think it’d be best to take some time off so you can gather your thoughts and figure out the best way to handle things. I know that this probably doesn’t seem like an option since there isn’t anyone to take your place but that doesn’t matter. Your health and well-being is a lot more important than that.Taking some personal time to deal with something as heavy as this doesn’t make you a bad teammate or weak or anything like that – it’s normal to need time to process everything that’s happened and if you’re already thinking about quitting, maybe taking time off is exactly what you need.

If you’re not sure how your coach will react, have your parents go with you. If you haven’t already, talk with them about how you’re feeling and ask if they’d come talk to your coach with you or just be there for support. I’ve said this a lot before but sometimes you do actually need your parents to be present when you talk with your coach and this is definitely one of those times.

Second, find a therapist in your town and ask your parents to set up an appointment for you. (You can also check out community mental health centers to see if they have free or low-cost therapy sessions you can take advantage of or your local hospital to see if they have support groups you can join.) If you aren’t finding the support you need at school or on your team, maybe talking with someone who is more connected to both events (even if it’s just due to location) will make things a little easier for you. Try to go on a regular basis too, at least for a month or so until you start to feel better.

Related: Suicide awareness + prevention

I can’t pretend to know what to say to make you feel better because I’ve never experienced something like this. My brother had a very close friend commit suicide at the start of his sophomore year of college and I was at a total loss for what to say or do. All I could really do was listen and make the suggestion to find a therapist to talk to, which he did for awhile. That’s really the best advice I can offer.

As for not wanting to spend all your time in your room, you’re right, that’s probably not the best thing to do. A few years ago the brother of a friend from college was killed in a drunk driving accident and my friend felt the same way, that if he took time off from everything he was doing he’d end up not leaving his bed. What he ended up doing was taking two weeks off from everything outside of his full-time job and used that time to do the things his brother loved doing. He was really into movies so each night he and his friends would watch a movie that his brother liked or go see a movie at the theater that had one of his brother’s favorite actors in it. His brother had also just rescued two cats so in addition to adopting them, he started volunteering for a few hours after work at the shelter they were adopted from (which I think he still does on a regular basis). Little things like that helped him to process the loss of his brother while still keeping his memory alive and finding ways to keep him connected to his every day life. You could do something similar – i.e. if your friend really liked reading, see if you can volunteer at the library or organize a book drive in their honor. If they really liked animals, see what your local shelter has on their “wish list” and donate a few items in their name.

I hope that helps and that you’re able to find a way to work through this. Definitely consider taking some time off from crew and finding someone in your town that you can talk to. You’re right that it becomes a lot harder to motivate other people when you can’t even motivate yourself so it’s important that you take some time to get yourself back to a good place. Good luck.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hi! This is my second year as a coxswain on a girls’ high school team. We just had some novices come in so they’re relatively new to the sport. I’m worried that I may be too mean/harsh with the rowers. Earlier today I was coxing a quad back to slings to wash it. It is difficult to move the boat from the dock to the slings – there are quite a few poles on the dock and around the slings area. I’d already told the rowers not to move and the next thing I hear, one end of the boat had come in contact with a pole (not exactly a crash but the boat had hit the pole). While the sound wasn’t too loud I immediately yelled, “I said, DON’T MOVE until I give a command!” I feel like I may have been too mean but at the time my only concern was to not wreck the boat. What is your opinion and how should I effectively take control calmly in this situation?

I’ve been dealing with similar stuff all week so I totally get where you’re coming from. I have a really hard time understanding how someone can be told to follow this instruction or not do something or whatever and then they go and do literally the exact opposite. Especially if we tell you to do something, directly ask you if you understand, and you say YES, indicating to us that you comprehend what we said and will do whatever we said to do/not do whatever we said not to do.

Admittedly, I’m a pretty impatient person in general and when instructions (not requests … instructions) not being followed leads or has the potential to lead to a dangerous situation (like, oh I donno, rowing against the traffic pattern in the basin in a Tubby or rowing 500m away from the launch to the point where we can’t see you after we specifically said “stick with the other Tubbies”), I become very tense and on edge. I know that as soon as that happens anything I say is going to reflect the “WTF ARE YOU DOING” feelings going through my head and I do question sometimes if I’m going to come off as being too harsh as a result. I care but at the same time I don’t because it all comes back to if you had just followed the REALLY, REALLY, REALLY STRAIGHTFORWARD AND SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS that I gave you in the first place, we wouldn’t be in this position. I’m guessing you probably felt the same way. A lot of people say “you can’t get too mad, they’re just novices…” but I think that’s bullshit because you don’t need to be a varsity rower to be able to follow an instruction as simple as “don’t move”.

I don’t think that getting frustrated in situations like this means you’re being too harsh or mean with the rowers. Others might disagree, which is fine, but that’s my opinion. Safety is your number one priority and protecting the equipment falls under that umbrella so as long as you’re not actually yelling at them and calling them a bunch of idiots (out loud), I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

After your next practice, I’d recommend taking them aside and apologizing if you came across overly aggressive but make it clear that as a coxswain safety is your top priority and it’s very frustrating when people don’t listen and jeopardize the safety of the equipment, other teammates, etc. Traffic patterns, how to stay safe in the boat, etc. are not suggestions, they’re rules and protocols that are in place for. a. reason. Going out and blatantly ignoring what we said after previously indicating they understood puts them and anyone else on the river in danger.

Explain to them why you said don’t move and point out the poles you have to navigate around so they can see why it’s important that they listen to you. Also say that you try to make sure your voice is heard (which hopefully you do) but you know that when there’s a lot going on around you it can be harder to hear so you’ll make more of an effort in the future to talk loud and make sure everyone on the boat hears what you’re saying so there’s no confusion on what you want/need them to do.

Hopefully that explanation will clear things up and you won’t have this problem again but if you do, ask one of the varsity coxswains or team captains to address them. If the issue persists after that, talk to your coach and let them know that you and the other coxswains/captains have already addressed this several times but the message doesn’t seem to be getting through. If it gets to that point it’s best for you to take a step back, not say anything, and let your coach address it because if this is a regular thing you’ve been dealing with you’ll probably be pretty pissed off and that’s when you’re more likely to say something that is too mean/harsh.

Coxing Q&A

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This is my second season coxing and I have realized that last season I did not focus that much on the technical aspect throughout practice except for the occasional timing calls. In efforts to improve myself as a coxswain, I’ve been researching on reading puddles and technical calls to make, however it is hard for me to relate to my rowers on the boat. This is especially due to myself never rowing before yesterday. After being placed in sixth seat for a mere ten minutes for the remainder of practice, I learned so much more than I had learned the past few weeks – especially actually understanding the calls I make. I would love to do this again, however I do not know how to express this to my coaches. A lot of emphasis is placed on the rowers, not the coxswains, and I’m worried that the coaches will see it as a waste of a seat in the boat, especially since our water days are limited if I were to row one day. Any tips on how to approach my coaches with this?

Oh, and thanks so much for taking the time to write this blog! It’s helped me a lot, especially as a novice coxswain.

I’d tell them that you got a lot out of being switched into 6-seat and it really helped you to understand the calls you’re making since you were able to actually process and execute the action(s) the calls ask for, which in turn helped you with XYZ (whatever that may be). Ask them if it’s possible for the coxswains to go out in a four together once a week for 15-20 minutes at the end of practice (my coaches did this with us and it was great) or if you could switch spots again with one of the rowers on the way back to the dock. Neither of those would interfere with your actual practice since it’d be after the fact or at the end of the day when the rowers are just paddling it in anyways.

I think if you phrase it in a way that makes it evident that you took something away from the experience and want to continue doing it for that reason they’ll be more open to the idea. I can understand why coaches are hesitant to take coxswains out, especially if they don’t come off that serious about coxing in the first place, but if you feel like it helped you and would be beneficial to do again or on a regular basis, tell them that and see if they can make it happen.

Coxing Q&A

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Hey! Was it like ‘bro day’ (my coaches words) on the Charles today because there were a bunch of stupid college freshmen guys in singles just basically rowing very badly. Some college must have sent out their novices in unmarked singles. What was happening was a whole bunch of guys in singles rowing steady state from about the Elliot Bridge to the Cambridge Street bridge when we spun and went back down the river. There were two singles who were especially annoying because they were going at the exact same pace as my coxed 4+ and THEY WERE PASSING ON THE INSIDE. I ended up steering us more towards the middle of the river, but still on the right side. I couldn’t get back to the right because one boat’s stern was close to my bow ball and at the other end of my boat it was the same except in reverse. They then proceeded to row AT EXACTLY THE SAME PACE AS US. The first time I saw them was during the hard right after Elliot bridge when the first guy was attempting to pass me on shore side. I had to yell to him because he was going to crash into me with his bow. (TBH it made me feel really good to yell to him…) I had brought us through the bridge badly so I had my 2 seat drop out (it was a starboard stroked boat) so yeah that was interesting. Also another time I was trying to go under some bridge and the guy on my tail wanted to go through at the exact same time. But I was like ‘hell no, I’m going for this’ and we both made it through with out crashing. I had to be a tad creative with my steering but you know whatever. The only good thing was that my coach praised me for handling the situation well and not freaking out. Oh and I got some great steering experience. This isn’t really a question I just wanted to rant. How would you have handled the situation? Or just tell me a story that’s kinda similar maybe? Or do you know if it was ‘bro day’ and WHOSE ‘bro day’ it was?

Ha. “Bro day.” I don’t want to throw any of the other men’s teams under the bus because I honestly don’t know who it could have been but your coach certainly could have asked them who they row for if it was THAT big of a deal and they wanted to mention it to that team’s coach.

I probably would have been annoyed too but I also would’ve handled it completely differently. First, there’s no point in getting competitive with them and trying to go through the bridge at the same time because you don’t know what could happen. That’s like, safety and common sense 101. Personally, I would have been pissed at you if I was your coach in this situation. If you don’t trust their steering why would you put yourself in a situation where you’re going under a bridge together? The smarter solution would have been to yell over and say “hey, do you mind waiting or throwing in a pause so we can get through the bridge and get some separation between us?”. If he was behind you and you couldn’t directly say something to him then you could have told your stroke to yell up at him to wait. You made it through without crashing this time. At the Sparks camp I was at this summer, Marcus (McElhenney) said something to one of the coxswains that applies perfectly here. The coxswain had screwed something up and said “…but it worked so whatever” and Marcus said “No, your bow seat saved your ass. It didn’t “work”.” I’ll say the same thing to you. What you did didn’t “work”, you just got lucky.

If you did say something to them about going through one at a time and they straight up ignored you (and you know that there was no way that they didn’t hear you or your stroke say something), then you can get pissed at them. You still have to maintain some sense of decorum though. My usual response to something like this is to look at the coxswain or rower if it’s a straight boat and say “Dude, really?” or I just look at them and raise my hands in such a way that you know I’m directing a really irritated “WTF” your way.

Second, they’re in singles, you’re in a four. If the singles being rowed by novices (assuming they actually were novices) are rowing at the same pace as a four of what I’m assuming are experienced rowers, that is WAY more your issue than it is theirs. YOU need to up your pressure, up your rate, row by all four, etc. to get ahead of them or stop, throw in some pause drills, etc. to let them get far enough ahead that their presence isn’t going to interfere with your practice. If your coach isn’t telling you to do one of those things then you have to make a judgement call and either just do it or ask your coach if you can modify whatever you’re currently doing. If you’re getting pissed because another crew is constantly near you and/or in your way, take the initiative and figure out how to create some separation. When you’re on the highway and get stuck near a slow moving car, do you continue to sit there and bitch because they’re not going the speed limit? No, you switch lanes, hit the gas, and move away from them. The same exact thing applies here. Coxswains get zero sympathy from me in situations like this because you’re the one with the power to tell your crew to get you away from them.

Third, if they were novices, what are the chances that they know the “don’t pass on the inside” rule? Even if it was something their coach told them, it probably wasn’t something they were thinking about while they were out there. That doesn’t excuse their behavior obviously but if they looked like they didn’t know what they were doing, what does yelling at them accomplish? I get how it can be kinda cathartic to yell at someone when you’re pissed at them but you missed an opportunity to just say “hey, not sure if you know this or not but on the Charles there’s a rule that when passing someone you always pass on the left”. I’ve said that to people before in a pretty visibly annoyed way (including to masters rowers from CBC who I know know the rules because they’ve been rowing for like forty years) but yelling at them wouldn’t have done anything except make me and my team look like assholes.

If I had to be near those guys though (i.e. we were doing drills or low rate/pressure stuff) I probably would have told them what I just said but let them stay on the inside (and moved out closer to the middle) just because I think it’s a lot more dangerous to have a bunch of errant singles out in the middle of the river, especially going downstream after Eliot, than it is to have them in between the shore and me. I’d rather risk the equipment getting dinged up than risk them or another crew getting seriously injured because they were out in the middle of the river and possibly/most likely going on the wrong side of the traffic pattern. Again though, to preface that whole situation I would have either asked them to wait for us to get ahead of them and then told my crew to pick up the rate/pressure for 10-20 strokes or had them go ahead and taken a 2-3 minute water break while we waited.

So … I guess my point is that while your coach said you handled it well, from an outsider’s perspective with only one side of the story I think there are definitely improvements you could make if you find yourself in a similar situation in the future. There’s a lot of new people on the river right now which means the rest of us have to exercise a good amount of patience when it comes to interacting with them, at least for the next few weeks. It also means that you need to COMMUNICATE WITH THEM just like you would another coxswain on your team. It honestly confuses the hell out of me when coxswains look at basic communication (especially with coxswains or scullers not on their team) as their fifth option or something instead of something they should be doing automatically all the time.

Coxing Q&A Training & Nutrition

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Hi! I’m in my 3rd season of crew, seasons 1 and 2 were spent as a rower. I’m 5’3″, 132lbs, and my erg score was 8:43.6 at the end of last season. Over the summer, I learned how to cox, and we needed an extra coxswain this season so that’s what I’m doing. I ended up really enjoying it, and I definitely want to stick with it. The problem is, when I’m in a bow loader (which is my usual boat it seems) I don’t completely fit in the seat- my legs are too wide. I know over the summer I gained weight, because at the end of last season I weighed closer to 120lbs/125lbs. Do you have any advice for workouts I can do/foods to help me (healthily) lose a few pounds? Also know that NO ONE on the team has said anything about my weight – I’d like to do this for my personal body image as well as comfort in the already uncomfortable coxswain seat. Thank you so much!

I totally feel you on trying to find a way to be comfortable in an uncomfortable coxswain seat. I’ve been in some boats where I can barely fit into the seats because they’re so narrow (which made me freak out thinking I’d gained a ton of weight or something) and then I’ll get into another boat where I’ll have two inches or more on either side of my hips. It’s very strange.

This question has come up a lot in emails lately so to anyone that’s already asked, this response will sound familiar. Losing weight itself is a two-part process. The first step is making smarter choices when it comes to what you’re eating. There’s obviously the “eat less” part of it but people tend to think that you can just cut out 500 calories and that’s all it takes but if you’re still eating like crap then you’re not really making that much of a difference. Swapping out less healthy stuff a few times a week for healthier options is a smarter way of approaching it – i.e. instead of going out to Chipotle (for the third time this week), stay home, grill some salmon, and throw it on a salad (I’ve been doing this lately and it’s so good). As long as the portion size is appropriate, not only are you saving calories but you’re also eating a relatively healthier meal overall.

The second part is making sure you’re getting some form of physical activity in a few times a week. If your team is doing a land workout, do it with them. If they’re erging, go for a run or hop on the bike (as long as it’s cool with your coach). If you don’t mind waking up early, go for a couple-mile long run before school. You can also download an app like Nike Training Center and do that if you’re having a tough timing coming up with your own stuff to do. Sometimes it’s easier to do all this with a friend so try to get the other coxswains involved too. One of our coxswains has started running in the mornings since our practices are in the afternoon and I’m kinda hoping the other two (freshmen) coxswains get in on it since it could be a good “bonding” experience for all of them. Shoot for 45 minutes at least 3-4x a week of quality – key word, QUALITY – exercise though and you should be good.

Coxing Q&A

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Hi, I recently was asked by my coach to cox again this season like I did last season and I am really excited. My dad however thinks that coxswains don’t even do anything and they just sit there and yell at people. I keep trying to explain that it is a lot more than that but keep messing up. Do you have any ideas for how to explain what a coxswain does to my dad? Please help! Thanks!

This annoys me, like almost to the point where it’s irrational how annoyed I am. I get it if it’s your friends who say stuff like that but your parents?? You’d think they’d be a little more supportive than to just assume you spend 12+ hours a week (at least) “not doing anything”.

Anyways, read the post linked below and/or send it to your dad to read. (Personally I’d do both.) That person asked the exact same question so what I said to them applies here as well.

Related: My friends don’t really understand coxing and think I just sit there and do nothing, or it’s a ‘wimps job’ (this girl’s not my friend) and I was just wondering if you have an eloquent way to describe the importance/difficulty of coxing and how it’s not actually an easy job?

I’m kinda over defending what coxswains do to people who clearly don’t want to understand the role and it’s responsibilities. I was talking about this the other day with someone and we both agreed that there’s a time when it’s necessary to defend it and we’ll do that no matter what but we’re not going to get into some random argument with someone who already has their mind made up. If they genuinely ask me what the role of a coxswain is then obviously I’ll talk about it with them because it can be really fun talking about what you do with someone who isn’t familiar with it but if they ask in a high-and-mighty kind of way and is clearly already resolved to thinking that our job is unimportant then it’s not worth my time. It’s VERY easy to tell those two people apart though so it’s not like you should just assume that every person who asks about coxing is a jerk who just doesn’t get it.

Something that I think is important to remember is that you can’t let your self-worth as a coxswain be dictated or defined by what other people think of you. As long as you’re doing what you need to do, contributing to the team in a positive way, and your coaches/teammates understand your value then all other outside opinions don’t matter. Does it suck that these outside opinions are coming from  your dad? Yea, obviously, but hopefully after explaining some of the stuff in that post I linked he’ll have a better understanding and be more supportive.