Category: Teammates & Coaches

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

I’ve been getting a lot of help from your blog lately, thank you! I’m in 8th grade and have been in coxing for 3 years. I recently went to states for the third time but I missed out on two days of practice right before the regatta. I don’t know the fine details but I wound up moving from the 4v to the 6v. This caused my normal rowers, the 4v girls, to start treating me differently. I’m not getting a lot of respect from the girls in my boat, it could be the age difference, but I’m hoping that I’m the most mature at practices than I am anywhere else. I have been moved back into the 4v but the girls still aren’t being as attentive and listening to my advice as I hoped they would be. This could just be some drama, but I feel that if there isn’t any “harmony” in the boat, we won’t compete as one boat. With SE Regionals coming up, I’m a little worried. Any ideas? Thanks.

I agree, I think it’s just silly drama. If you missed practice for a legit reason and your coach knew you were going to be gone, they have no reason to start acting differently towards you and not listening when you’re on the water. If you missed practice because you just bailed on them or whatever then yea, that would definitely explain why you got moved down and why they’re acting the way they are. If you want to know why you got moved down you should just talk to your coach and see what they say, although getting moved down for a couple days usually isn’t that big of an indicator of anything.

Maybe also bring up the issues you’re having with the boat and see if they have any insight into that whole issue since they see you at practice every day and would know what was going on during the two days you weren’t there that might have caused their attitudes to shift. You could also confront a couple of the people in the boat to find out what the problem is – who knows, maybe it is just the age difference and they think they can get away with everything more easily because you’re younger than them but you should really stick up for yourself and say that if they’ve got a problem with you then they need to address it directly instead of being passive-aggressive about it on the water and wasting valuable practice time.

Coxing High School Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

Hello!! First I just wanted to say that I am a high school novice cox and your blog has helped me so much. But I have a problem. My varsity/head coaches are so supportive and nice, but my novice coach isn’t. She has missed practice almost everyday for 3 weeks, and she flipped when I missed practice one day for an appointment that I had scheduled months in advance. She’s a good athletic coach who knows a lot about rowing and sports injuries, but not about feelings. At our last regatta my dad was talking to her. Today at practice in front of my whole team she blamed for the team’s loss. Considering the fact that she hasn’t been a real part of the team and then just shows up out of the blue, I think that’s part of what messed up the team. She came in and changed our start sequence and everything that we’ve learned. She kept knocking me down in front of the team. It got the point that I came home and cried for two hours. Everyone on my team calls her “a hero” because of how much she knows. I agree that she knows a lot about rowing, but not about coxing. What should I do?

Whoa. Personally, I automatically lose a lot of respect for any coach that calls someone out like that in front of the team, especially in a sport that is as team-oriented as rowing is. That’s just not cool. I can’t really even understand her frustration with you missing practice due to an appointment that was scheduled months in advance. If you’re a novice how likely was it that you knew you’d be doing crew when the appointment was made anyways? Regardless, it’s pretty hypocritical for her to be upset that you missed one practice if she’s not even consistently there.

If you’re not comfortable talking directly to her, I’d say that if you’ve got a good relationship with your head coaches, talk with them since that’s obviously who she’d report to hierarchy-wise. You could also have your dad there if you wanted since he talked with her at your regatta and might have addressed some of the issues you’ve been having. Explain the issue(s) to your coaches though and say that while it’s obvious that she knows her stuff about rowing, it’s coming across like she doesn’t understand much about coxing and it’s becoming very frustrating for you because instead of being coached you’re being blamed for team losses, etc. Hopefully from there either they can talk with her or have a group meeting with you and her. I would say outside of just ignoring the negative things she says, talking with them and hoping they can address things with her is probably your best/only option.

High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

Hi OK on my team novices don’t go to regionals unless you’re in the fresh 8. So anyways for the rest of the year those who aren’t going have to row in pairs which is awesome but we have assigned pairs and the girl I’m with is bow and she is so horribly bossy and mean and she yells at me and blames me for everything that goes wrong. I’ve talked to the coach but she said we just need to work it out and I even took a starboard rigged boat just so I could be bow but she still acts like she’s the coxswain. How should I deal with this? I really like rowing pairs but she makes it so awful.

After you talked with your coach did you then try to talk to your pair partner off the water about all this? I would say that if you did and nothing changed (after say, three to five days) you should go back to your coach and say that you tried to talk/”work things out” but nothing came of it and is there any way that you could switch partners because the current setup isn’t working. Maybe it’s just me but it really irritates me when coaches say “work it out” and expect that to birth some magical solution that suddenly fixes whatever problems there are. Like, yes, I understand that people need to find solutions to their own problems and act like mature (young) adults but at the same time, you’re the coach. Being a mediator in situations like this is part of your responsibility. If someone says something isn’t working, I feel like the natural course of action would be to figure out why it’s not working (by talking to the people involved), make some observations, and make a call one way or the other. Telling teenagers to “work it out” and not getting any more involved than that sounds like a great way to escalate the drama. Like I said, maybe that’s just me that thinks that but whenever I hear a coach saying “work it out” it just sounds like they’re saying “I’m above dealing with this”.

The next time you go out for practice, let her be the bowman. I know that’s probably not the ideal solution for you but in terms of safety, if she’s going to talk over you when you’re in bow anyways, she might as well just be back there herself. As much as I’d love to fight (and win, obvs) every battle, sometimes you’ve gotta pick and choose which ones are worth are engaging in. This one’s not worth it because ultimately your safety is more important that whatever issue you two have with each other.

Talk to her before you go out and say that the last few practices haven’t been very productive for you because it feels like she’s being overly aggressive with … well, everything and that’s taking your focus away from actually rowing. If there’s a certain way that works best for you in terms of how constructive criticism, etc. is given, tell her that. For example, “If I’m doing something wrong or could make an adjustment, the best way to say that to me is to XYZ, rather than just yelling at me.” Maybe the two of you just need to spend some time figuring out the best way to communicate. Until you’ve tried that and found that that’s not the issue (or that the issue extends beyond that), don’t assume that simply talking it out won’t make a difference.

If you try that and find that nothing changes, like I said before, go back to your coach and see if she can pair you with someone else. Rowing in pairs is a great way to work on your technique because it really highlights and magnifies a lot of little things that would otherwise get covered up in the eight. You definitely want to make sure you’re taking full advantage of the time you have in them. If you feel like that’s not happening, you should make that clear to your coach and let her know that this really isn’t about you not wanting to row with your current partner because you don’t get along but rather because you want to be paired with someone who’s going to actually help you get something out of practice (and for whom you can do the same).

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

I have coxed for two seasons for my school and I am the most experienced cox and we have no novice coxes. I am 5’5 and 110lb but my coach thinks I am too tall and heavy to cox? Am I? I still fit in the cox’s seat and have room to spare! Me and my crew have just recently won the champs, they wouldn’t have done it without me, and they all say they would rather have a cox a couple of pounds over than a useless cox, but I don’t think my coach thinks that. I really want to cox but I still have 6 months till the next regatta! How can I convince my coach that I can still cox and want to? I can’t let my crew have a novice cox as they all want to win next season!!!

5’5″ might be just a little on the tall side to be a coxswain compared to the rest of us but ultimately it’s not height that matters when it comes to coxing, it’s weight. The minimum is 110lbs so … you’re fine.

As far as convincing your coach, it really depends on how amenable he is. My suggestion would be to not say anything about it unless the issue is brought up by him and then if it is, reiterate that you don’t feel like your weight is an issue and that your crew feels that your skills on the water outweigh a pound or two (no pun intended).

I wouldn’t say that they couldn’t have done it without you though because that sounds pretentious and like you think you’re the sole reason they won (even though I’m sure that’s not how you intend it to come off). I’d also not say anything about them wanting to win next season and not wanting a novice coxswain because that makes it sound like you/they think they don’t have a shot in hell if someone new is coxing them. Granted, yes, there’s a learning curve with novice coxswains that they’ve gotta overcome but it is certainly still possible to win with one of them in your boat. To be honest, if I heard an experienced/varsity coxswain say something like that I’d take them out of the boat immediately and replace them with a novice just to give them a wake up call that everybody is replaceable.

Bottom line is, keep whatever conversation you have with him about the issue at hand (nothing hypothetical), don’t bash the novices in the process, and again, don’t say anything unless it’s brought up to you by him. Keep doing what you’re doing and make sure you’re staying on top of your responsibilities on and off the water.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

I’m a HS varsity men’s coxswain, but our club spends a lot of time sculling in quads and rowing small boats. As a result, I spend a lot of time sitting on the launch. However, I don’t exactly know what the best way to make use of that time is. Usually I just watch the rowers quietly and mention the occasional technique mistake if I don’t think my coach sees it, but I’m not really sure what the protocol is. Should I tell the rowers directly if I’m seeing something off? Should I try to talk to my coach about what lineups I think are working and what aren’t (he very occasionally asks my opinion on who should get seat raced and stuff like that)? Or is it better to just watch and note what’s going on so I can use it when we do row coxed boats?

I think the best way to make use of your time in the launch would be to do all the things you listed. If you’ve got a camera (an actual camera that you can zoom in and out on), bring that along too so you can get some video of each of the rowers. That’ll give you the opportunity later on to watch it and go over, either with your coach or that rower, the things you’re noticing. From there, you can use whatever you took away from those clips to help you come up with calls to use when you’re in the boat with them. The calls could be boat-wide reminders if you see several rowers doing the same thing or individual ones if you notice certain rowers have their own specific tendencies.

In that same vein, I’d also make sure you’ve got your notebook out on the water with you so that you can jot down anything you hear your coach say that you think would be pertinent for you to use in the boat. Usually when I do this I write down pretty much all the technique things the coach says (I’ll make a note if it’s directed towards a specific person but I tend to just write them down in an “in general” sense), in addition to any miscellaneous quips or phrases that I can turn into a call later on. If the crew is going through drills or doing pieces and he shouts something to them and follows it up with a “yea, that’s it!” (meaning the crew responded to what he said), I’ll also write down whatever it was and what he said it in reference to so I can use it in the future if/when necessary.

Related: Do you recommend carrying a small pocket notebook or having a regular size notebook for notes? I currently have a pocket notebook during erg pieces to jot down splits and times. How do you organize all your thoughts and coxswain information?

Below is an example of what my notebooks tend to look like when I’m riding in the launch as a coxswain. (If I’m actually coaching from the launch and trying to take notes it usually ends up looking like a dyslexic chicken wrote it. It’s hard to write, steer, and watch the boat at the same time.) It’s basically just a mix of lineups, whatever workout we did, any switches that were made, and individual and general comments.

Regarding talking directly to the rowers, I’d say eight times out of ten I usually say something to the coach first before I say it to the rowers. I still do this as an assistant coach just to avoid undermining their authority. I’ll usually say something like “Katie’s lunging at the catch again” or “Have you noticed how X does Y when we’re doing Z?” and if I’m coxing they’ll either reply with “good call” and then tell the rowers what I saw or if I’m riding along as the assistant coach they’ll let me tell them myself. The other reason why I run past the coach whatever it is that I saw is because there’s always the chance where what I’m seeing isn’t actually what’s happening (aka I’m misinterpreting what’s they’re doing or what the effect of whatever they’re doing is) or it’s not something that’s necessary to tell them in that moment. If the latter is the case then I’ll try to tell them during a water break or once we get back on land.

I would definitely use that time to talk to your coach about lineups, personnel issues, etc. and let him know in general how things are going in the boat. One of the things my coaches would frequently ask me is how I think the drills we’ve been doing are affecting our strokes – have they gotten better (meaning the drill was effective) or stayed relatively the same (meaning the drill wasn’t effective). This kind of information would clue them into how well we were using our time and if certain drills were worth continuing to do or if they needed tweaked or whatever if we tried doing them again.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

Hi! I’m a Novice Coxswain (who use to be a varsity rower until I told my coach I wanted to cox cause I’m 5’0″) and I cox a men’s Novice 8 (I’m a girl) . Lately they’ve been disrespecting me and ignoring my commands. I’ve told the coaches and other coxswains (we are a small team and only have 5 coxswains) and my coaches always remind everyone to “respect your coxswains or you’ll be kicked off the team” besides them being mean and rude to me. We haven’t won a race all season and they are starting to blame me – but I feel like it’s not really my fault much? And last regatta my stroke seat hurt his arm picking up the boat at the regatta and according to a friend of mine they were all blaming me for him hurting his arm. They also got mad at me for saying “C’mon I’ve seen you row harder!” which I understand but they were getting up on me for ‘hurting their feelings’ (like them harassing me and picking on me isn’t hurting mine??). Not only that but another coxswain who had to cox them while I was out said meaner things to them and the same exact thing – but they never got mad at her and I think it’s because she flirts with them and stuff. At this point I don’t know what to do and I love the varsity rowers so much but I’m thinking about retiring early this season so I don’t have to deal with them…

I don’t get why coaches threaten to kick people off the team if they disrespect their coxswains (or anyone else). It’s not like anyone ever follows through with that. The day a coach kicks their best rower(s) off the team for being a dick to their coxswain (or hell, vice versa too…) is the day I start working for NASA.

I think that when things go wrong and there’s no one specifically to blame, it’s easiest for people to blame the coxswain because “it’s not like you do anything” and the rowers are bigger than us so there’s that whole thing where they think they’re intimidating us when in reality, they just look like assholes. With the exception of a few special cases, I really do believe that no one person is ever to blame for a loss. Everyone is responsible though because you’re a crew and that’s how it works. There’s always something that everyone can do a little bit better.

If your stroke hurt his arm … how is that your fault? Unless there’s some major details you’re leaving out, like you hired someone to Tonya Harding him out of spite or something, then just ignore it because they’re just looking for someone to blame and you’re an easy target (or so they think). I can understand why they’d get pissed at you for saying “I’ve seen you row harder” but at the same time, that’s a necessary and legitimate call sometimes. Of course there are better ways to phrase it but sometimes you’ve gotta be blunt about it because you know they’re capable of more than they’re doing right now. If saying that somehow hurt their feelings … wow.

If I was their coxswain I’d tell them to shut up, suck it up, and oh, I donno, row like they’re capable and then maybe I wouldn’t have to make calls like that. I take serious issue with rowers who think that their power output is directly proportional to how good (or bad) they think a coxswain’s calls are, like if the coxswain isn’t making good calls then that somehow makes it OK for them to row with the power of an eight year old. You can still row at 100% if the coxswain is making shitty calls. A coxswain is supposed to enhance your rowing but at the end of the day, you are still in control of your oar. You’re the one that decides how hard to push off and pull through the water, not the coxswain. Don’t interpret that as me taking any responsibility away from the coxswains because I’m not, I’m just making sure you guys are aware of your role in this. You can’t put all the blame on the coxswain when things go wrong because you bear some of the responsibility too. You are the ones with the oars in your hand.

As far as the other coxswain goes, I donno, as a fellow coxswain that’s just a non-issue for me. Not that you’re doing this but just a word of caution to all the women out there: don’t be that female coxswain that gets pissed off because another female coxswain is getting along well with a men’s crew. Just don’t. If you want to come off as a super petty, immature bitch then go for it but don’t assume that she’s flirting with them or doing anything else to/for/with them just because the guys are listening to her and she’s having a good time with them. Maybe she’s just a good coxswain who has found a way that works when it comes to communicating with them. Instead of making assumptions or spreading rumors you should talk to her and say “hey, I’ve been having a hard time trying to work with these guys but you’ve seemed to figure out how to get them to respond to you – what’s your secret?”. I can’t say that I really stay on top of the rules of feminism but I’m pretty sure that tearing other women down because of how successful they are or questioning how they got where they are isn’t one of them.

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

So, I have been coxing for two years, and really enjoy races. However as it’s regatta season coming up, I need a bit of advice on race. How much do you want to be talking in races? My rowers said they want me talking constantly, but my coach advised not to because the rowers usually end up blocking it out. Also, do you have any calls you find really motivate your crew? I don’t want to just be reciting calls without them meaning anything but then I don’t know what to fill the gaps with. We have had loads of really successful coxes from our club so I’m under lots of pressure to be good! :/ Also, sorry I know this is a lot, but I am 5’3″ and weigh 105lbs, is this too big or heavy for a junior 14s coxie? Thanks a bunch, love this blog!

In terms of how much you should be talking, always go with what the rowers ask for. I talk pretty consistently when we’re racing or doing pieces because I don’t feel like there’s any reason why I shouldn’t be. If the rowers want/need you to always be talking, then that’s what I do. In my experience my crews have told me that even if they aren’t specifically processing some of what I’m saying, my voice and how I’m saying what I’m saying is what’s keeping them engaged and their focus in the boat.

Related: Interesting question: How often do you think a cox should talk during a race? I feel really awkward and useless if I stop talking for more than a few seconds, and when I rowed our cox would talk almost constantly during races. However, at a regatta briefing the other day the OU Captain of Coxes implied that coxes should only be talking every few strokes. I guess it depends on the standard and nature of the crew, but what do you think?

I really cringe when coaches tell coxswains how to do stuff like this because so often it comes from their own personal experience as a rower and is based off of what they didn’t like about their coxswain. That’s fine but … your experience isn’t everyone else’s. The same applies to me though too – what my crews have asked me to do might be different than what your crews want you to do.

The best thing you can do in situations like this is to take into consideration the advice you get from outside people (your coach, me, etc.) and then go straight to your rowers and say “Re: talking while racing, I’ve heard X and Y … which applies to us?” and find out straight from them what they want. Communication is key!

Related: I just read your post about intimidating your opponents, which is perhaps one of the greatest things I’ve seen, but I wanted to ask what are some of your favorite/most effective calls?

Regarding motivating calls, check out the post linked above. This is another spot where you should talk with your rowers and ask them what would really get them going during a race. Don’t over think it because the most effective calls are usually the simplest ones. Several of the recordings that coxswains have sent me lately have included really simple calls that just relate to their school/team, such as “Yea Tigers!”, “Go Big Red!”, “Here we go, Huskies!”, etc. When you’ve got time, scroll through all the coxswain recording posts and look at/listen to some of the calls I pointed out.

Related: Coxswain recordings

As far as your height/weight goes, you’re five pounds under the minimum of 110lbs – you’re fine. That’s probably the most common size for female coxswains so no, it’s not too big or too heavy.

College High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

Our team has gotten really close these past couple weeks and I’m really going to miss everyone who is leaving next year. What is the best way to bond with my team before the end of the season?

Go to someone’s house and have a biiig bonfire cookout or something. If you’re in college, bring beer. If you’re not in college, bring root beer.

Seriously though, the best thing you can do is really appreciate the time you spend together when you’re at practice, traveling to regattas, etc. It might not feel like you’re bonding because you’re not doing a specific “bonding activity” but when you look back on it you’ll realize that that one hilarious conversation you had in the hotel or that great race you had last week was one of the defining moments of your friendship(s) and time together as teammates.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

There has been a lot of drama on my team lately. I was just wondering what the best way to deal with it would be because I really want to have a strong season and close relationships within our team. P.S. – I love your blog!

I think the easiest and simplest way to deal with it is to have the team captains (or a couple seniors, if you don’t have team captains) say something to the team without the coaches present. Not that my friends and I didn’t respect our coaches but we always took things like this more seriously when they came from our teammates/friends. It was always like, if it’s escalated to the point where the upperclassmen are saying something, that’s how you know people are tired of the bullshit. Remind everyone that you’re there to row, get fast, and win medals and you can’t do that if people are perpetuating rumors, causing unnecessary problems, creating rifts between teammates, etc. If you know of a specific incident, address it only with the people involved and remind others to do the same.

I’m so tired of reiterating this because I feel like I say it in some form or another at least once or twice a week. If you’re taking issues with another person and making them known to the entire team (particularly when 98% of the team has no idea what you’re talking about), then you’re just as responsible for any drama that comes out of that. I’ve already had to deal with two similar issues this week (it’s TUESDAY) and how “over it” I am is unquantifiable at this point.

It’s also important to remind the team that not everyone has to be friends but you do have to respect each other. You’re all out there trying to accomplish the same thing and you’re all (hopefully) putting in just as much hard work as the next person. Disrespect towards a coach or another teammate shouldn’t be accepted. If you’ve got an issue with someone, keep it out of practice and definitely off the water. I think “check your issues at the door” would be the most appropriate phrase for whatever issues your team is experiencing. Another important thing to address would be keeping stuff off of social media. The passive aggressive subtweets, Facebook/Tumblr posts, etc. directed at other people on the team can’t and shouldn’t be tolerated.

Let the team know who to go to too if they’re having issues with someone or know of issues that need to be addressed so that it can be handled by someone who’s neutral to what’s actually happening. On our team, it’s our two team captains (both seniors) and I that deal with the majority of the issues that come up. Listen to what they have to say, stay neutral, and then address it accordingly.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By

I’m a novice coxswain for a men’s team, and I have absolutely no idea what to say to fix an issue. It’s been at least four months with me as a coxswain and we’re nearing the end of racing season. I have no idea what the source of an issue is, and am just grasping at straws. It occurred to me I’m simply repeating the same exact things every practice. Our biggest issues is the rest of the boat rushing up on stroke pair, and occasional issues of set that extend beyond just lower or raising blades and handles. My team has lost all patience with me and have no trust in me whatsoever. I want to quit, but have no replacement.

I guess to add on to this, I forgot to mention that at the end of December, basically all of our novice coxswains quit. We had four, and all of them left until I was the only left. I stayed because I didn’t want to leave my guys hanging. There is this one spare coxswain on the team, let’s call her C. She…doesn’t really do anything. I believe she is the women’s novice coxswain, but they only have one boat, so she just does…nothing. She’s there every morning though. I passed along the idea of quitting to my coach and her, and she basically said she “couldn’t” be the novice men’s coxswain because she wasn’t “allowed” to. I learned from my coach that she wanted to stay a novice coxswain for next year, and by competing she would have to be varsity. First off, I feel like I should be allowed to be a little annoyed at this. Part of me just wants to walk up to the coach and hand over my position, pay my fees, and leave. I never really wanted to be a coxswain in the first place. I joined rowing to row, but I didn’t have the athletic ability to do it. Thinking about it now, I don’t know why I stayed on the team. I don’t know what to do. We have two races left, one on Saturday and WIRA.

OK, let me ask you a question. What have you done to educate yourself on the different issues your crews are having? By educate yourself I mean how often did you bring the issue up with your coach(es) and ask them what causes this, what do the rowers need to be doing, what calls should/could I be making, etc., in addition to doing your own research outside of practice by Googling or YouTubing the issues your crew is having, looking up technique, drills, etc. or talking with your rowers to find out what you could be doing to help the crew? How often did you try to video your crew or have someone on the launch video them so you could go over it as a crew with your coach? Your coaches have a responsibility to teach you about this stuff but you have a responsibility to teach yourself as well. The loss in patience and trust from your teammates is usually exacerbated when they get the impression (or know) that you’re not doing anything on your own to make yourself a better/stronger coxswain.

Related: Coxswain skills: “So, what did you see?”

Personally I don’t think you should be “allowed” to be annoyed that another coxswain doesn’t want to or doesn’t feel ready to race yet. That’s a judgement call on her end and if she wants to continue as a novice next year to gain more experience and enhance her skills before she begins racing, you have to respect that whether you agree with it or not . I’d much rather have a coxswain do that than jump straight into a competitive crew that’s preparing to race when they’re not ready to do so.

If you’re having issues with rush and slide control, try doing some two-part pause drills pausing at hands away and half slide. I did those with my crew a couple weeks ago and they helped a lot.

Related: As a novice coxswain I still really struggle with the technical aspect of practices. This summer I joined a boat club and spent two weeks out on the water learning to row, hoping that the first-hand experience would help me understand how to fix some common problems. Now that I’m coxing again, I still get really confused when something is wrong with the set. I don’t know what other advice to give other than handle height suggestions and counting for catch-timing, especially when it doesn’t seem to be up or down to one side consistently (like rocking back and forth with every stroke). I was wondering what advice you would give to your rowers in a situation like this, and how you can recognize and remedy some common technical problems.

It really sounds like you aren’t enjoying crew at all though and (correct me if I’m wrong) don’t have much invested it in other than the fees and the time you spend at practice. If you’ve only got WIRA’s left now then I would at least stick it out through that and then you can give your coach your fees and leave.