Category: Teammates & Coaches

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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What do you think of “Once a rower, always a rower?” Even if you have to quit not because you don’t like it, but because you have to? There was a conversation that came up with us about how people who quit shouldn’t be wearing their crew gear anymore. What’s your opinion?

The most basic way I can explain is this: we put so much time, effort, money, blood, sweat, tears, etc. into this sport that our racing tanks, unisuits, jackets, tshirts, and anything else with our team logo on it become sacred to us. We can’t wear our medals all over the place so we wear our gear instead to show off the pride we have in our team, our teammates, the sport, and ourselves. If you’re not on the team anymore it’s kind of like they’re on the outside looking in, you know what I mean? I know it sounds kind of stuck up to say that but I can’t think of another way to explain it.

On the other hand, you bought the stuff with your money so technically you can wear it whenever and wherever the hell you want. It’s not like anyone’s gonna go up to you and say “you’re not on the team anymore, take your shirt off…”. If someone had rowed for a few years and had been a fairly dedicated member of the team I wouldn’t have that much of an issue with it but if you rowed for like, a season and then quit? That’d annoy me (and was kinda what I was getting at up above).

College Q&A Recruiting Teammates & Coaches

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I’m going to be a senior and I’m really interested in getting recruited as a cox. I just finished my novice year and I did some rowing camps at universities. The coach at my 1st choice university was really impressed (she approached me at the end of camp and asked about my grades, college plans, etc.) but she told me I was a little late to the recruiting process. She encouraged me to ask my coach to write me recs to help. What are the guidelines for coach recs? When should they email the recs?

As far as I know there aren’t any guidelines they have to follow in terms of how it’s laid out unless there is a specific form that the college coach(es) give you to have them fill out. Some do that and some don’t. Basically all they’re doing is saying who they are, the nature of your relationships (coach-athlete, etc.) how long they’ve known and/or coached you, and then just talking about how awesome you are, what you’ve brought to the team, why you’re an asset and what makes you one, what they think you can contribute to a college team, how well you get along with and lead others, etc.

In terms of when to email them, I would do it as soon as possible but probably no later than the first week or two of September. I’d also email the coaches of the schools you’re planning to apply to and saying you’re interested in joining the team (if you haven’t already) and to expect a letter of recommendation or two from your coaches to arrive within the next week, two weeks, whenever. That way they’re not getting letters from coaches about potential coxswains they’ve never met or heard from before. I’d give your coach a deadline too and say that you’d like to have them sent out by this date since that’s when you told the college coaches to expect them. Otherwise you run the risk of them starting it, forgetting it, and then not remembering it until you mention something in November.

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Last season (my junior year) I coxed the JV boat all fall and most of spring and a week before championships my coach handed out ranking sheets to the rowers and they chose who they wanted as their coxswain. Half of the girls in the JV boat wanted me and half of them wanted another girl who has a year less experience than me. My assistant coach made an “executive” decision to put the other girl in the JV boat. This summer I had lunch with one of my close friends who was a rower in that JV boat, she told me that after the ranking day some of the other rowers texted her and talked about how they didn’t pick me because they didn’t like me as a person. I asked her what that meant and she said they meant that I was “too sassy and demanding” with them. Now this fall season it’ll be me and the same girl going after the varsity boat and I really want that spot. What do I do about the fact that the rowers don’t like me as a person? Do I just kill them with kindness or what? I honestly have no clue what to do. I’ve had several people come up to me and tell me personally that I am a much better coxswain than the other girl so I don’t understand why people have to use the fact that they don’t like me against me. How should I approach this season?

Ranking sheets? Is that the same or different than coxswain evaluations? Straight ranking sheets sound like … a bad idea.

Here’s the thing with coxing women … anytime you’re in a position where you’re giving directions or telling other women what to do you have to watch how you do it because the slightest hint of anything in your voice is going to be mistaken as you being a bitch. There’s nothing wrong with being demanding, especially in the position we’re in, but you have to make sure that your demands are realistic and actually achievable by the people you’re working with. If you have varsity heavyweight men’s 8+ expectations of a JV women’s 8+ then yea, that would be too demanding. If you have varsity women’s 8+ expectations of a JV women’s 8+ and their abilities indicate that those expectations are reasonable then that’s fine. If you’re constantly pushing them harder than they can reasonably tolerate, physically or psychologically then that would/could cause problems.

How you give direction is another thing you’ve got to be aware of. There’s always got to be some sense of self-awareness on our end as to what we’re saying, how we’re saying it, how it could/is being perceived, etc. so that we can be sure we’re building the rowers up and not tearing them down. Think about how you say things and ask yourself how you’d respond if someone said the same thing to you in the same tone of voice. Would it rub you the wrong way or would you not think twice about it? Try to be objective and not biased towards yourself, if that’s possible. Basically, don’t just assume you’re not doing anything wrong and that the rowers are just being bitches for no reason. If you’re brave enough you should talk to the ones that don’t like you, for whatever reason, and ask what you can do better this season with regards to communicating with them. They don’t have to like you and it shouldn’t be your goal to get them to like you. That isn’t your responsibility. I doubt every soldier liked George Washington but they respected him enough to follow him into battle. That’s the mentality that you should have. Rowers don’t have to like their coxswains but they do need to respect them enough to follow them into battle. That goes for coxswains as well – to earn respect you’ve got to give it. Making an effort to figure out how you can improve as a coxswain by getting feedback from the people you’re working with is a good way to start earning it. In return, you should take their feedback and actually use it to help you going forward.

Should you be nice to them? Yes, because that’s just common courtesy. Should you kill them with kindness? Eh…my personal opinion is no because ultimately what’s that going to do for you? Granted it could work out well but it could also come off as really, really fake, which will just piss them off even more. There’s a big difference between liking you as a coxswain and liking you as a person and my theory on why rowers use how much they like you as a person “against” you is because with the amount of time you’re going to be spending together, why wouldn’t you want to be with someone you genuinely like? I don’t necessarily agree with it but I do understand it. In a perfect world all coxswains would be chosen based on their abilities and not on popularity but that is never going to happen. Popularity is always going to play a small part, especially in high school, especially when you’re coxing women.

In addition to talking to the people in that boat and doing some self-reflection on your own, talk to your assistant coach. Ask her if she can share why she ultimately chose the other coxswain and what she based her decision on since it seemed like the votes were evenly split between you and the other girl. I wouldn’t straight up say that some of the girls prefer you because you’re the better coxswain but I would just say that you want to know what you can do to improve because you want the varsity boat, obviously, and as the senior coxswain with four years of experience you feel like you deserve a shot at it because of X, Y, and Z. There’s nothing wrong with saying you feel like you deserve a certain boat as long as you’ve done the work ahead of time and actually do deserve a shot at it. Seniority alone isn’t a reason, as much as we’d like to think it is. Your cohesiveness with the rowers, how likely it is that they’ll listen to you, your ability to control things on the water, etc. are all things I think any good coach would look at.

For me, I’d also be looking at how much drama I’d be setting myself up to deal with if I knowingly put you in a boat where there’s friction between you and some of the rowers. Drama in some instances is inevitable and that’s fine. Everyone is equipped to deal with it to an extent. It’s part of the game, so to say. But, as a coach I don’t want to have to deal with a mutiny in the middle of the season simply because there are a million other things that I need to worry about. Whoever I ultimately chose as coxswain would need to be able to make it work with everyone in the boat, regardless of their friendships or lack there of off the water. Looking back on the previous season and seeing that there were personality clashes, no respect being given or received, etc. it would take a lot of convincing for me to put that coxswain with those same rowers, regardless of their skills. Their skills could be amazing and they could be a great coxswain but I’d be delusional to think that personality doesn’t play a part in being a good, effective leader. Like I said, they don’t have to like you but they do have to respect you and there can be no question as to whether or not that will happen.

In this order, look at how you’ve handled things in the past and how you’ve interacted with these women previously, then talk to your coach, then talk to the rowers. Start thinking about your goals for the season and use them and the feedback you get from everyone to help motivate you to make some improvements throughout the start of the season. I won’t lie to you, it sucks having to making adjustments to your attitude, personality, etc. just to avoid pissing people off but I will promise you this: in the end, it’s worth it. All those stupid situations in school where your teachers are like “oh, working on this group project is going to teach you how to deal with people in the future”…no. We all know they don’t. What teaches you how to deal with different personalities in the future is having conflicts with people and figuring out the best way to interact with them going forward. Sometimes that requires changes on our end and it requires taking the time to figure out what you’ve done in the past that you could do differently, more effectively, or just plain better going forward.

Coxing How To Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Okay. I know you have gotten questions like this before but how do I get people to respect me as a coxswain? I mean I’m fairly knowledgeable, I know how to correct people’s technique and how to work with them to improve. I do most of the workouts with the team but I feel like there is something about me that makes them not respect me. I’m a camp counselor over the summer and I feel like the campers don’t really respect my authority either.

There are two ways to approach this. Do you think they don’t respect you because you’re not authoritative at the right times or do you think they don’t respect you because your attitude rubs them the wrong way?

Making an effort to get to know the rowers, being friendly with them, etc. is a good thing but it can end up hurting you a bit if you are too friendly with them because they’ll see you more as “one of them” instead of someone in a leadership role. I’m not saying you can’t be friends (or even best friends) with your rowers but you have to be able to separate yourself from those friendships when practice rolls around. If the rowers see you as their friend all the time it’ll be harder for them to take you seriously when you’re telling them what to do.

Related: RESPECT and the follow-up email to that post from a collegiate men’s coxswain

The flip side is if you’re too authoritative all the time and try to throw your weight around just because you’re in a position that has some degree of power, all in an attempt to make the rowers respect you. One of the things that can be tough to master with coxing is telling someone what to do without being bossy or bitchy. This is where your tone of voice comes into play. Think of how you say things and then put yourself in the shoes of the rowers. If someone was saying to you what you’re saying to the rowers in the same way you’re saying it, how would you interpret it? Would you take it as someone who knows what they’re doing and is trying to help you improve or as someone who is trying too hard to get people to respect her, overstepping her authority, and not being an effective communicator?

Related: How NOT to piss off your rowers

I don’t have the secret to earning someone’s respect. It’s going to be different with every person you meet and every crew you cox because there are different personalities to contend with. The first step towards gaining the respect of your teammates though is to make an effort to figure out why they don’t respect you. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt since I obviously don’t know the entirety of your situation and say that it’s possible that they don’t disrespect you but they don’t fully respect either because they don’t know you that well. Make an effort to get to know them, figure out why they’re there, what their goals are, what they need from you, etc. and use all of that to not only work on the respect thing but to also improve yourself and your boat.

Definitely check out the “respect” tag too, there are tons of questions in there that you should be able to pull some good advice from.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I graduated this past spring and I was recruited to cox in college. I was always the top coxswain at my high school club and the coaches now look at me as a mini-coach. They want me to pass on as much knowledge as I can to the other coxswains before leaving but I’m having a hard time reaching them. I’m not sure if they’re intimidated by me (I’m really not scary…) or they really don’t know what the heck I’m saying. Tips? Thanks!

That’s pretty cool you got asked to do that. It’s possible that they are intimidated a little, not by you necessarily but by your experience and the fact that you’re coxing in college, but it’s also possible that they might just not be around and/or are busy with jobs, family, etc. Try reaching out to them on Facebook and invite them to go get ice cream sometime next week. Keep it short and simple and just say that before you leave for school your coach wanted you all to get together to talk about the upcoming year, coxing stuff, etc. If for whatever reason you end up not being able to get together, write everything down and make a how-to guidebook for them.

If they’re smart, they’ll take advantage of your offer but don’t feel like you’re obligated to go out of your way to meet up with them. Like I said, they might be busy or they might just not care … which sucks, I guess, but ultimately isn’t your issue to deal with. Put together some notes and give it to your coach and if they want to read through it in the fall, it’s there for them to do that.

Note to all the coxswains out there, seriously, reach out to the coxswains from your team who are coxing in college or who just graduated and pick their brains on anything you can think of. They’ll most likely be willing to share their tips and tricks with you but you’ve gotta ask first.

Coxing High School Masters Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hi! I am a coxswain who has coxed on my school’s team for 5 seasons. I seem to do better when put in a boys boat (I’m a girl). In the past, I have attributed this to the fact that the girls on my team are incredibly immature and difficult to deal with. It’s gotten to a point where no cox on my team wants to cox a girls boat. How would you approach this? Also, I have recently gotten an opportunity to cox for a local club’s masters women’s boat. How would you adjust to a such a different group?

That’s rough. It sounds like something your coaches need to address (or should have) rather than something the coxswains should be forced to put up with/suffer through or handle on their own. Have you guys tried talking to the coaches about the issues you have coxing them? Are they difficult to deal with because they don’t listen, are unnecessarily combative, and just straight up bitches or are they difficult to deal with because they’re teenagers and doing typical annoying teenager stuff? Regardless of the reason, I think it’s worth bringing up and discussing with the coach so that they can do something about it. It’s also possible that they might not know what’s going on or that the coxswains feel this way so they never realized there was a problem needing addressing. Until then though, if you get put in a boat with them try not to get frustrated. Avoid displaying any outward signs of being irritated that you’re coxing that boat because that’ll either piss off the rowers and give them even more reasons to make things difficult or it’ll just amuse them and give them a reason to antagonize you.

Regarding coxing a masters boat, the biggest difference for me in going from coxing people my own age to coxing people who are closer to my parents’ age was coxing them with the same amount of intensity. It felt weird coxing them like I coxed college or high school crews because they’re so much older than me but once I talked to them about it they said they want to be coxed hard like that, so that’s what I started doing. After a few practices it didn’t feel weird any more. I’d suggest just talking to them and finding out what they look for in their coxswains. Are they a competitive team who expects to be coxed as such or are they just out there to have a good time and get away from the stress of daily life, so they don’t need to be coxed as hard? Don’t be intimidated by them and don’t feel like you can’t call them out on any technique problems like you would a normal crew. They want to be corrected so they can improve just like rowers your own age so make sure you’re talking to them and giving them the same feedback that you’d give your regular crew.

College High School Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Next year (most likely) I’m going to be a sophomore novice rower. Practices are for 2 hours, 6 days a week. I’m really stressed out about not having a social life or time for homework. I’m assuming you’re in high school or rowed in high school, so how did you manage? Was it really bad?

It wasn’t that bad, to be honest. I did marching band all four years in addition to coxing and at some point probably spent just as many hours doing band-related stuff each week as I did crew stuff in the spring … this lead to learning insane time management skills.

First, my social life. I had two groups of friends in high school, my band friends and my crew friends. I didn’t see much of or hang out with my crew friends until winter rolled around unless some of crew friends also happened to be band friends, which several were. In the summer and fall though, 100% of my “circle” was in band. In between full rehearsals and sectionals we’d all go get lunch together and then spend the next hour talking and complaining about shit (the weather, our music, time commitments, school, college, bad reality TV, etc.). If we had rehearsals in the evening, some of us would show up an hour or so early because we were section leaders and had stuff to do before practice started. Usually someone would bring popsicles and we’d hang out together while doing whatever we had to do. After practice the whole band would normally stick around for another 45 minutes, sometimes just to hang out, other times because the parents brought everyone food. Sometimes my group of friends and I would go to this legendary donut place downtown (at like, 10pm), grab some donuts, and then either go driving around for a bit, go see a movie, or go sit by the river and hang out. This usually added another couple of hours to the amount of time I spent “at band” in the evenings.

In the fall when school started, our rehearsal schedule would change slightly but we’d also add in football games on Friday nights and competitions on Saturdays. Friday nights were great because 75% of the football game was spent just hanging out. We’d warm-up ahead of time, run through the show, do pre-game, occasionally play a song when they’d score, do halftime, play a few more songs, do post-game and be done. The rest of the time we’d just be sitting in the stands doing whatever. One of my friends and I spent a solid four games in a row our junior year trying to learn the Harry Potter theme song without music. That was fun. Other times we’d bring cards and play Poker or something. After the game, we’d have to load everything up so we’d be ready for the competition the following day and also clean up the stadium, which we got paid to do. From there we’d either all go get food, go bowling for a bit, or if it was really late, just head home (this was rare though). Saturdays were an all day thing with competitions so we were stuck with each other for at least 12 hours, if not more.

We didn’t have a fall rowing program because nearly everyone on the team (100ish people) was either playing a fall sport or was in marching band, so we only had winter training and a spring season. Because we traveled out of the state of Ohio for all but maybe two of our seven or eight regattas, we were excused from school on Fridays so we could travel. Nearly every Friday through Sunday starting in early April and going through the end of May from 2002-2006 I spent in hotels and on charter buses. We’d race Friday afternoons or Saturday mornings through early Sunday afternoon and then get back late Sunday night, sometimes really early on Monday morning. And yes, we had to be at school on Monday. Because of this, in addition to all the time we spent at practice, we spent a lot of time around each other. On Thursday night before races we’d have boat dinners, so we’d either go to a restaurant and monopolize a table for 3+ hours or we’d go to someone’s house, eat a TON of pizza, make t-shirts, watch movies, and just hang out.

The point I’m trying to make with all of this is yes, I had a very busy schedule for 10 months out of the year, but because 99.9% of my friends did the same things I did, I never felt like I didn’t have time to socialize or was missing out on something. We were always around each other, whether at practice or while traveling, and there was always plenty of down time for us to do normal teenager stuff. Both groups of my friends and I all determined pretty quickly that anyone who did row or wasn’t in band probably wasn’t as much fun to hang out with anyways. We never really had any problems with being around each other that much either, which still amazes me. There were definitely times when we would get irritated with one another but I think the fact that we all realized in order for the band or boat to do well, we needed to suck it up and get over it. Tensions like that, in addition to being plain annoying, were just a hindrance to whatever it was we were trying to accomplish.

With regards to school, homework, etc., like I said earlier, you really learn how to manage your time well. Granted there are times when you just say “fuck it” and slack off for whatever reason but you quickly find that all that does is put you in a hole that becomes progressively harder to climb out of as the season progresses. I definitely did this a couple times but my teachers were great and knew what our schedules were like, so they usually cut us a little bit of slack and worked with us so we could get all of our stuff done and turned in. They had every right to not do that but the fact that they did really only encouraged us to work harder. It taught us too that if we want to do crew or band and do well in school, we had to set limits and manage our time properly.

Our coaches were really on us about our grades too. They knew when report cards came out and they’d come up to every single one of us and ask how we did. Not in an interrogative way, luckily, but because they were genuinely that invested in us. This also really encouraged us to work hard and stay on top of things because we knew our coaches wanted to see us succeed off the water too. There were several times that I can remember them telling someone they weren’t going to be able to row for a certain amount of time until they picked their grades up and most of the time the kids did the work and got it done. Other times they just said screw it and quit (and continued not doing their work).

In the fall I’d leave my books at school on the days when I had evening rehearsals and just go an hour or two before I normally would so I could get started on (and hopefully finish) my homework. This worked for me because it forced me to give myself a much needed break in the two hours of in-between time. It was also great because those of us that had classes together would all get there early, pile into someone’s car, go grab some dinner, head back to the high school, and then do work until rehearsal started. I swear the only reason I passed some of my math tests is because my friends that were better at math than me helped me out while we were there. By doing this though we were able to not only get our work done but hang out at the same time.

In the spring I’d sometimes bring whatever book we were reading in English with me but doing homework when you’re stuck on a bus for 5+ hours isn’t too appealing, so I did the majority of my work at home like a normal person. Because I was only really at home for four days during the week, I had to get all my work for the rest of the week and the beginning of the following week done so I could turn it in early and not have to worry about doing anything when I got back at 11pm on Sunday night. When I was in school if I was sitting in a particularly boring class I’d get out my homework for another class and work on it. Obviously you’ve gotta be careful about doing this but as long as you’re stealthy you won’t have a problem. If my friends and I weren’t going out for lunch I’d try and get something accomplished during that time for at least one class. Most often this was when I worked on chem labs since that didn’t require much work, just a lot of writing and some math.

You quickly find out what your priorities are when you have a busy schedule like that. It definitely helps when your friends do the same things you do because then you can hang out while you’re at practice and not have to sacrifice any of your “outside” time if you can’t/don’t want to. In the grand scheme of things though, especially if you’re not planning on rowing in college, school has got to be the number one priority. Even if you are planning to row in college, school still has to be first because you can’t row in college unless you can get into college.

Plus, if you find that the time commitment is too much and you really miss not being able to hang out with your friends, it’s not like you can’t walk away (at the end of the season, NEVER in the middle). You’re not bound to the team the entire time you’re in high school. Again, it comes down to priorities. You might love rowing but if your participation in it comes at the detriment of other stuff, you need to re-evaluate why you’re doing it, what you’re getting out if it, if it’s something you’re planning on sticking with for a long time, etc. Crew is great but it’s not the end all, be all. If there are other things that are important to you, you have to put in the effort and make time for them. If they’re not important, most likely you’ll find a reason or an excuse to not make the time. It’s very rarely about finding time, it’s about making it and once again, it all comes down to priorities.

College Q&A Recruiting Teammates & Coaches

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Do you know anything about NCAA rules and talking to coaches when you’re already on a team but trying to transfer? Specifically from a women’s program to a men’s program…

Your best bet is to get in touch with the athletic department of the university you’re looking to transfer to, specifically the compliance department, and ask them any questions you have. They’ll be able to tell you specifically what rules do and don’t apply to you and what you should do going forward. There’s also plenty of information on the “want to transfer” part of the NCAA’s website.

I did some research and found the NCAA’s Transfer Guide, which I recommend you read because there’s a lot of good information in there that might end up being helpful, regardless if you go with the men or stick with women. Here’s what it says about talking to coaches (at the bottom of page 9).

“Generally, if you are enrolled as a full-time student at an NCAA or National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics (NAIA) four-year school and you want to transfer to a different NCAA school to play, your current school’s athletics director must give written permission-to-contact to the new coach or member of the athletics staff before you or your parents can talk with one of them. That is called having a permission-to-contact letter.

You may write to any NCAA school saying that you are interested in transferring, but the new coach must not discuss transfer opportunities with you unless he or she has received written permission-to-contact from your current school.

If your current school does not give you written permission-to-contact, another school cannot contact you and encourage you to transfer. This does not preclude you from transferring; however, if the new school is in Division I or II, you cannot receive an athletics scholarship until you have attended the new school for one academic year.

Also, if your current school officials deny your request to permit another institution to contact you about transferring, they must tell you in writing that you have a right to appeal the decision. In that instance, a panel of individuals from your current school who are not involved in athletics will conduct a hearing to decide the issue.”

I would start doing all of this as early as possible. Now would probably be a good time to call the compliance department and talk to them since the summer is, for the most part, relatively chaos-free.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I’m doing a rowing camp at Yale and my coach there told us coxes to count at the finish rather than at the catch. It’s hard to find time to make calls to bring intensity to the drive as such, and I feel like the rowers have weaker drives when I talk calmly to them during the recovery about slide control and “easy catches”. Do you have any suggestions concerning counting at the finish, or possibly any recordings?

I’d talk to the coach and say that you’re used to calling them a different way and you’re curious as to why they like for them to be called at the finish vs. the catch. Do not be that person that says “well, that’s now how we do it on my team” – I swear, that type of rower/coxswain is at the top of most coaches shit list and once you’re there it is hard to get off it. Tell them that it’s a little awkward for you because you’re not sure how to make certain calls and do they have any advice that might help you out. Also tell them what you’ve noticed about the weaker drives, etc.

If you can, talk to the rowers you’ve been with before you talk to your coach and ask them what they think. How are they used to having things called, in their experience do they think one works better than the other, have they noticed anything (either good or bad) from calls being made at the finish instead of the catch when you guys have been out, etc. Take all that info and talk about it with your coach. It’ll be good for them to know too because it’ll help them know what to focus on during practice.

Related: Hey there, I have a question about coxing. I’ve been coxing for a couple years now and just realized that I call my calls on different times. I mean, for power 10’s I’ll call the numbers when they are half way through the drive to the finish. But for starts, I will call the numbers at the catch such as (1/2, 1/2, 3/4, full, full) as well as 10 highs at the catch. I don’t know if I’m doing this right, but I’ve always done it this way and my crew goes with it. How do you personally do it?

These camps are meant to teach you something and this is a great learning opportunity that you should definitely take advantage of. Asking questions is part of your job and something you should be doing anyways if something comes up that you don’t understand. Don’t be nervous to talk to the coach about it either. They’ll most likely appreciate the initiative and willingness to understand and learn how to do something that you’re not used to doing.

It’s hard to know what recordings I have where the coxswain calls things at the finish. I don’t think it’s anything I’ve really paid attention to. If there’s video with the recording it’s always easy to see where they’re called but it’s obviously tougher with just the audio. Plus, calling things at the finish is rare, at least in my experience. Like I said in the question I linked to up above, I only do it when I really want the focus to be on something at the front end of the stroke.

My suggestion again is to talk to your coach and get some advice from him/her and then try to apply what you talked about with them in the boat. It’s definitely going to require going out of your comfort zone a bit but you should be in the habit of doing that regularly anyways. Talk to the rowers and say that it’s something you’re going to try so they know why things might be weird for a bit and then get some feedback from them after practice. Keep talking about it with your coach(es) and ask them on the water after you’ve called a power 10 or something what they thought, how was that, etc.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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In the past, I’ve had a lot of trouble with my coach thinking I’m talking back to her which ended up bumping me down a boat (I’m a coxswain). Last week she told me to have the rowers pause at arms and body and didn’t tell me how often so I just had them pause every 3 which is typically how often we pause and then she yelled at me that I wasn’t listening and that she told me to pause every 5 … what do I do? If I tell her she didn’t say it then she’ll think I’m talking back again.

I totally get what you’re saying. I’ve done my fair share of “talking back” too and I get why it came off as talking back but I just really, really hate when people don’t give me the information I need and I end up looking incompetent or whatever in the end because of it. Yea, I’m probably going to get pissed if you tell me to do something, leave out a crucial detail, and then jump on me for not doing it the way you wanted. I think anyone would.

In high school I had a coach just like this who I butted heads with a lot, over practically everything. It got to the point where my boat thought he was doing stuff on purpose just so he’d have a reason to yell at us, tell us we were talking back or being rude, and then speed away in his launch, waking us out every single time to the point where we’d have a few inches of water in our boat as a result. At one point I got so pissed about it that we got into an actual yelling argument with each other on the dock about how I thought he was a shitty coach and how he thought my/our boat’s attitude sucked.

Luckily my other coach came over and calmed things down enough to where we could have an actual conversation. I told him that he’s saying things on the water that I either can’t hear or don’t understand (because I can’t hear him) and then when he doesn’t give any clarification or response at all, I just go with what I’ve done before because I don’t want to waste any more time trying to figure out what he’s saying. It’s not me ignoring you, it’s not me undermining you, it’s just I. can’t. hear. what. you’re. saying. When I repeatedly tell you that and you instead interpret me saying “what?!” all the time as not listening or just plain sucking as a coxswain, you can rest assured that I’m going to develop a chip on my shoulder from that.

Related: Ok but seriously I probably hear 0.2% of anything my coach says ever while my crew is out on water. I believe this is a recurring issue with coxswains… I think my primary conversations with her consists of “WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? …oh… WAIT, WHAT!?

The next day before we went out he apologized and said that he didn’t realize how difficult it was to hear what he was saying, he’d make more of an effort to use a megaphone or speak louder, he was sorry for interpreting my frustration as having an attitude, and that he’d like for us to make more of an effort to work together instead of against each other all the time. I apologized for voicing my frustration the way I did and for making it seem like I wasn’t listening to what he was saying. Our (meaning the boat’s) relationship with him was by no means friendly or anything after that but it was for the most part, civil and cordial, whereas before it definitely wasn’t. I don’t think that whole exchange would have happened though if my other coach hadn’t said something to him after practice. He had witnessed nearly every incident and knew that my boat and I weren’t just making things up to cause a problem. Before hearing a fellow coach’s perspective I think he just thought we were being pains in the ass for no reason.

My point with this story is this: talk to your coach after practice one day, preferably once everything’s been taken care of and people are leaving. Explain that you’re not talking back and you’re sorry if that’s how it comes off but _____ (fill in the blank with whatever issue it is you’re dealing with). Try to look at it from her perspective to see if you can understand how you might be coming off as talking back to her and say that you’ll make more of an effort to not do that in the future but at the same time could she please talk louder when giving instructions, be more clear, etc. Avoid getting frustrated, especially if/when your coach gets accusatory and says “you always do this”. It’s really easy to turn around and put it back on them by saying “I do that because you always do this” but ultimately that’s going to put you in a worse off position (been there, done that).

No matter how you do it, the conversation will be awkward and uncomfortable because no conversation where you have to tell someone in a superior position that something they’re doing isn’t working for you is easy. It’s a give and take situation though and your coach has to realize that too. You’ve got to go into it being willing to make some concessions on your end while staying firm on what you need from the other person (regardless of the position that person is in).