I’m nearing the peak of racing season and I’m already burned out! I’m tired of coxing at the moment and I’m sick of my teammates because I’ve spent way too much time with them. I’m scared to miss practice though because I’m worried about losing my seat, what should I do?
I say this with empathy, solidarity, and love: suck. it. up.
There have been numerous times in the past when I was coxing (and even (very) recently with coaching) where I had no interest in being at the boathouse because I was sick of seeing or dealing with people, stressed, burned out, etc. but I showed up anyways, not because I had to in order to keep my seat but because I’d made a commitment to show up and if I didn’t, eight (or more) other people would be adversely affected by my decision.
Outside of when I was in college I think the only time I got burned out on crew was midway through my last season in high school, which was also simultaneously my best and worst season. Best because my crew was great and we kicked ass every week and worst because our head coach was an asshole who I’m positive sat up at night coming up with ways to make us all dislike him more and more each day. Around the beginning of May (peak season for us) I was definitely starting to just go through the motions – I was there physically but not mentally. Our assistant coach noticed pretty much right away and essentially made me spill my guts about why I was suddenly so much less on point than usual. Senioritis, poor team leadership, feeling like I wasn’t improving at the same rate as my crew, and a general sense of the “meh’s” were all key points. In his usual way of “saying something without actually saying it” he pretty much told me to suck it up, set an example, and be bigger than whatever issues were threatening to bring me down.
Burnout is like depression (figuratively and almost literally) – it isn’t really something you can just decide to get over and how you handle it is unique to every person. For me, I did just suck it up because that’s what was necessary. Regardless of how crappy I was feeling I didn’t want to bring my boat down to my level so I re-evaluated my performances on the water, priorities, and attitudes towards various situations so that I could get to the root of the problem and start doing something different. At this point I had one month left of high school which meant I had one month left to get my coxing up to the level I wanted to be at before I left for college. My coach and I came up with some goals so that I’d have something to work on myself while he focused on the rowers and we went from there. Each day for the next week I’d show up and he’d say “what kind of afternoon are we gonna have?” and my answer each time was “a great one”, regardless of how I felt or my day actually went. As silly and cheesy as it was, that little glimmer of positivity always started off practice on a good note.
My suggestion is this, based on my own experiences:
Take time every day to unwind and clear your head. Before practice, turn your car off and sit there in silence for a couple extra minutes. (If you don’t drive to practice, find a quiet spot to go to where you won’t be bothered.) Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Tell yourself that you’re going to have a good day on the water – actually say it out loud to yourself. After practice, do the same thing. Sit in your car for a few minutes, take a couple deep breaths, and leave everything that happened at practice at the boathouse. Don’t bring it home with you. Go home and relax for a bit. Actually relax too – if that means taking a quick nap or a hot shower, do it. If that means giving yourself a badass pedicure while watching people be violently murdered on Game of Thrones, do it. Just do something for 30-60 minutes that lets you decompress before diving into your homework.
When you get to the boathouse, don’t purposely avoid everyone but try to keep your distance (without being super obvious about it) until it’s time to get the boats out. If somebody asks what’s up just say that you’re just taking a few minutes to yourself and trying to avoid any unnecessary distractions before you get out on the water.
Find/create a support system. If you’re sick of your teammates, talk to a friend who’s not on the team. They probably won’t have any idea what the hell you’re talking about but you can at least vent your frustrations to them and who knows, they might even be able to give you some useful nuggets of advice. Same goes for your parents and/or your coaches. In theory they should automatically be supportive of you but now’s your time to actually call it in and go directly to them for support.
If you’ve got a free weekend (or a free day on the weekend) take advantage of it. I flew to Boston this past weekend and didn’t think about crew or anything else once for four days. It was incredible and came at the perfect time. It’s not the rowing that’s been the issue, rather all the administrative stuff we’ve had to deal with that’s been creating a seriously unnecessary amount of stress for everyone. Getting away from that and the other forty-seven things that are currently seriously testing my patience made coming back to practice oh-so–sweet. I would’ve loved to have been at the marathon today (my trepidation of large crowds thanks to last year aside…) but going to practice and seeing the team after being away for a few days, in addition to getting to cox our V8 and V4, let me experience one of those moments that I really cherish: that moment where we’re doing a piece, I’m in the moment, the boat is moving well, and I’m reminded in a split second why I love this sport so damn much. I swear, that fleeting nanosecond of clarity is all it takes to get me out of a rut. If you’ve got the opportunity to take a day off on the weekend, do it. Go somewhere and do something fun or stay at home and do nothing – whatever you do though, let crew be the furthest thing from your mind so that when you come back you can be reminded too of just why it is that you’re there.
