Hi!! So what should you do if you think a teammate doesn’t like you? All I’ve been getting is bad vibes, and whenever I try to be nice and talkative she just like doesn’t even listen. I really don’t wanna start something, but all I have been is nice to her! I can deal if she doesn’t like me, but man I don’t want that to affect the boat you know? And it hasn’t except for sorta today maybe? Not exactly sure but just wanted tips on how to deal/work your way around if someone may not like you for no reason at all. I might be viewed as competition but I have NEVER said anything hateful, rude, or bad to her at all. I keep my mouth shut at the right times and I am a very laughable, comfortable, relaxed person to talk too. In the conversations we have had (only a few), she’s barely said anything and I just end up not getting an answer. And she gives off really, really dirty looks to me. She seems like thats her face, but she likes some other girls on the team real well so I’m not sure … I don’t wanna push it because I got bigger, better problems to attend too but just kinda putting this out there.
My initial thought when reading this was … who cares? I don’t mean that in a mean way either, but does it really matter if someone (in your boat) doesn’t like you? As long as you’re not at each other’s throats or spreading rumors about the other one or whatever, it really. doesn’t. matter. I get what you’re saying about not wanting to have it affect the boat but unless you keep forcing the issue, I don’t think it will. Keep it cordial and casual when you’re together but if you feel like she’s made it clear through whatever means that you’re not destined for friendship then just leave it at that and, like you said, don’t push it.
Also, remember that resting bitch face is a thing (seriously) so just because it looks like she’s giving you dirty looks doesn’t necessarily mean she is. I feel like you’ve gotta give people the benefit of the doubt too because you never really know what’s going on behind the scenes that could be putting them in a bad mood or upsetting them and causing them to act distant or off-putting towards those around them. It probably has little (or nothing) to do with you specifically so like I said, just be cordial in whatever interactions you do have with her and beyond that, just focus on being in the boat and making it go fast.
Great advice. A very wise woman told me one time when I had to work with someone with whom I had just had a rotten breakup. I know that was a different scenario; however yours might use the same advice. Make him [in this case her] unimportant. That is, be polite, civil and cooperate when you are working together. Act as if nothing is wrong, because it isn’t. Otherwise you do not need to be friends or interact socially. Do nothing to make it worse or try to make it better. Be the bigger person.