Tag: team culture

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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All the girls on my team are pretty good about the no crewcest thing, except this one girl, who keeps hooking up with many of the guys on the team and the team is slowly dying as a result. I’ve told her this would happen, but she doesn’t seem to care. The coach can’t really do anything, as its always after practice hours. Also, I feel for her, the team is more of a place to get guys than to actually improve her rowing and get faster. Any advice?

If the team really is being affected by her “extracurricular activities” then the coaches should say something. If she was doing this outside of practice with no effect on the atmosphere at practice then whatever but that doesn’t sound like it’s the case. Granted, if they do know what’s going on then they might not have any idea how to bring it up to her, especially if they’re men and especially if you’re in high school, so I guess I wouldn’t exactly blame them for not addressing it.

As her teammates you definitely have a right to be annoyed at her for playing a part in messing with the team culture but at the same time, you can’t put all the blame on her. Has anyone told the guys on the team to maybe, oh I donno, stop hooking up with her? It’s a two way street so if something is being said to her, something should also be being said to the guys. If they all want to hook up and cause drama and whatever else, by all means go for it but don’t bring all of that to practice. If that’s what you’re going to do then there’s no place on the team for you, plain and simple. Without getting into the dirty details, that’s really all your coaches need to say. I’d have no problem asking someone to leave the team if they disregarded that rule/request. Everyone else is there to make boats go fast and it’s hard to do that and build camaraderie with each other if everyone is constantly acting weird or giving off that awkward “morning after” attitude.

In the end, everyone is going to do what they want to do. The only thing you can ask of them is to stop bringing all the unnecessary drama to practice and be respectful of their teammates who just want to row. Point out to them how their actions are affecting the team and hope that from there they’ll recognize that they either need to stop or keep whatever’s going on amongst themselves and not the business of everyone else on the team.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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What do you think of “Once a rower, always a rower?” Even if you have to quit not because you don’t like it, but because you have to? There was a conversation that came up with us about how people who quit shouldn’t be wearing their crew gear anymore. What’s your opinion?

The most basic way I can explain is this: we put so much time, effort, money, blood, sweat, tears, etc. into this sport that our racing tanks, unisuits, jackets, tshirts, and anything else with our team logo on it become sacred to us. We can’t wear our medals all over the place so we wear our gear instead to show off the pride we have in our team, our teammates, the sport, and ourselves. If you’re not on the team anymore it’s kind of like they’re on the outside looking in, you know what I mean? I know it sounds kind of stuck up to say that but I can’t think of another way to explain it.

On the other hand, you bought the stuff with your money so technically you can wear it whenever and wherever the hell you want. It’s not like anyone’s gonna go up to you and say “you’re not on the team anymore, take your shirt off…”. If someone had rowed for a few years and had been a fairly dedicated member of the team I wouldn’t have that much of an issue with it but if you rowed for like, a season and then quit? That’d annoy me (and was kinda what I was getting at up above).

College Q&A

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Thanks for answering that last question! I figured it wouldn’t be that difficult since men’s rowing isn’t an NCAA sport, but I thought you would know more about this than me. Do you have any advice for making the best out of the situation when you’re on a team that you don’t necessarily want to be on for an extended period of time, knowing that you want to transfer?

No problem! I can’t imagine you’ll encounter any issues but better to find out ahead of time and be able to deal with it rather than when you get to your new school and it be too late.

As far as being on a team you don’t want to be a part of…do you have to/even want to be on the team for the rest of the time you’re at your current school? Obviously I never want to tell anyone to straight up quit but there comes a time when you’ve gotta ask yourself if it’s worth it. The commitment to your team as a whole is one thing but the commitment to your teammates as individuals is another. If you’re saying you’re going to go back in the fall and be a part of the team you’re committing yourself to the four or eight other women in your boat. As the coxswain, it’s your responsibility to … not be happy-go-lucky about everything because that’s annoying and unrealistic but to be that person who always shows up, regardless of whatever else is going on, simply because you’re the leader of the crew. If it’s obvious you don’t want to be there for whatever reason, how do you think that would make the other people in your boat feel? I don’t mean to say that to make you feel bad or guilty because you shouldn’t, but think about it from their perspective.

Anyways, back to your question. How do you make the best of the situation? Show up, put the work in, keep off-the-water stuff off the water, have a positive attitude (even if you have to fake it sometimes), try not to make it super evident that you’d rather be anywhere but there, and find something to dedicate yourself to in order to make your time there worth it. If you’re going to be getting up early to go to practice you better have a damn good reason for doing so otherwise you will encounter new levels of disdain and misery that you didn’t know were possible. Been there, did that, can confirm, it sucks. There’s a certain level of selflessness that’s required in rowing, especially as a coxswain, but beyond that, do what you’ve gotta do to make sure you don’t feel like you’re wasting your time.

The summer is a good time to evaluate all of that and gauge how you’re feeling ahead of time so that if you do decide to walk away, you can give your coach(es) plenty of heads up. Regardless of what you ultimately end up doing, your teammates deserve your very best when you’re there and if there’s any question about whether or not you can give that, you’ve gotta ask yourself if it’s worth staying on the team knowing that you’re just going to be transferring to a new school in a few months.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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So literally our best rower got booted off the team due to bad behavior (questionable substances, among other things). Not only are we DAYS away from our biggest regatta of the season but I am particularly devastated because I always looked up to and admired this person. When I was pushing myself during workouts, it was them I wanted to push myself for, it was them I wanted to be as good as. I’m dumbfounded that I completely missed that there was a problem.

Oh man … that’s the worst. For the time being and especially since you’ve got a huge regatta coming up, abstain from letting this become a distraction. Assuming this person was a good teammate (aside from putting the team in this position, obviously), they probably are feeling guilty over the fact that this is a distraction and it’s coming at the worst possible time. What you can do is focus on what’s important – your boat, your teammates, yourself, and getting some good rows in before this weekend. Try to avoid any communication with them until after your races are over. I know that sounds like a really rude thing to do but assuming you were friends with this person, they’ll probably try to text you or message you on FB to see how things are going, give you their side of the story, etc. Hold off on talking to them or anything like that until Sunday or Monday, that way you and your teammates can keep your heads clear and focused on what’s in front of you.

You should never assume that you could have prevented what happened. It sucks not knowing there was an issue ahead of time, especially if you were close with them, but don’t beat yourself up over it. If you’re comfortable enough talking to them about it and they’re willing to share, ask them what’s up. Were/are they going through something, was it just a series of stupid mistakes, etc. Don’t be pushy or prying or anything and respect their privacy if they don’t want to share. Offer to lend an ear if they do need someone to talk to in the future and leave it at that.

In addition to all of that, be the bigger person amongst your teammates as well. No doubt some of them are probably really pissed at this person (rightfully so…) but don’t let it get to the point where they’re badmouthing them or being flat out rude to them. Chances are no one knows the full story so, like I said earlier, ignore it for now and don’t let it become an unnecessary distraction.

How a collegiate coxswain earned her crew’s respect

College Coxing High School How To Novice Teammates & Coaches

How a collegiate coxswain earned her crew’s respect

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After yesterday’s post on respect went up, I got an email yesterday from a coxswain that I wanted to share. I think most of can say “yup, been there…” and relate to what she’s saying. She brings up a lot of excellent points so I hope everyone is able to take something away from reading this and apply it to your own situation.

Related: RESPECT

“Here’s my story on how I gained respect on my team.

I rowed three sprint seasons at an all-girls’ high school prior to becoming a coxswain in college.  When I joined the team, they were so short on coxswains that they bumped me right up to varsity – in the men’s boat.  Now, I realize that my coxing style is definitely one that works best with men’s teams, but when I joined the team, I was a shy first-year student trying to adjust to life in college who only had experience with women’s rowing and sprint races, and who had clocked in only a few hours in the coxswain’s seat previously.  I was terrified, and although I like to think I didn’t show my nervousness to an extreme degree in the boat, I certainly did not sound sure of myself, and that led to a bumpy season with regards to team dynamics.

Later on in the season, we had a really bad race.  The crank that turned my rudder had corroded to a point at which it would not even turn the rudder to port slightly.  Pair that with steering that still was at a novice level, and you get a race that left us all, including myself, even more unsure of my abilities as a coxswain (I won’t go into details – but it was hairy).

That was when I talked to my coach, who told me to meet with my stroke seat to come up with a game plan and a list of goals; my coach’s logic was that if you have one of the rowers on your side, the rest are more likely to follow suit, especially if it’s the stroke seat who naturally assumes a leadership role in the boat.  There, he told me something that has stuck with me.  This particular comment only applies to my situation, but the general sentiment, I think, applies to all crews.  My stroke seat didn’t mince words, looked me straight in the eye, and said:

“We are a boat of eight big, cocky guys who all think we’re better than everyone.  We’re bigger than you, stronger than you, older than you, and we don’t give a shit that you rowed longer than most of us have.  So we’re not going to give you respect; you have to take it from us.”

Let me first say that the guys I coxed that season are not the brand of asshole that you would think after reading that comment. And obviously it wasn’t meant to be – nor was it taken as – an enumeration of my flaws. It was just a glimpse into the mind of a college men’s crew.  But it was exactly what I needed.I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that within a week of having that conversation with my stroke seat, my coxing did a total one-eighty turn.  I started as a timid little freshman and ended as a coxswain who would kick her crew’s ass and push them to their limits. And, more importantly, I finally understood something really important about coxing that I think all novice coxswains have to realize, one way or another: you have to know who you’re coxing.  It’s obvious, and you say that on your blog all the time, but that was when I learned it, and it made all the difference in learning how to deserve and earn the respect I wanted.

In my case, I had to (for lack of a better term) sack the fuck up and be willing to get a little mean, because I was coxing men who respond best to (constructive, not over-the-top) aggressiveness and a no-bullshit coxing style.  In cases like yours, it might be figuring out how to bridge the age-gap, if a coxswain is much younger than his or her crew.  In all cases, it’s a matter of being flexible and letting WHO you’re coxing inform you HOW to cox them.  For me, I gained respect by yanking it away from them and claiming it as my own, making it absolutely clear that I am not to be messed with.  For someone else, it might be totally different.  But the underlying principle is the same no matter what: respect has to be earned, not just given, not because “ree-rah I have the microphone so what I say goes” and not because of some divine right thereto.”

Image via // NBC Olympics

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I consider my crew to be very lucky. We possibly have one of the best coxswains around. She can steer like a BOSS and has the patience and the nature of a saint. However I think we pushed her to her limits at one point and I don’t think I have ever seen her that angry. I often read this blog and I always read tips on what makes a great coxswain, how to deal with your rowers, and things not to do however I would like to hear from a coxie’s point of view is what are the things that rowers do that really sets you off edge and how we can avoid those things. I know coxies are all different (…and I have had some interesting ones at times) but it would really help if you could give some pointers from a coxswain. As rowers our biceps are sometimes bigger than our brains so it would help if you could give us some insight. Thanks…oh, and great blog!

This is the best question ever. It’s great that you recognize how lucky you are to have a such a skillful, knowledgeable, and personable coxswain. Out of curiosity, how did you push her to her limits? Were there any repercussions? How did you apologize? (You did apologize, right?)

Things that rower’s do that irritate coxswains:

Talk or screw around in the boat, especially if you’re in bow pair.

This drives me nuts. There’s a time and a place for it and 99% of the time, while you’re on the water is not it. The reason it annoys me is not because I think that the boat should be some kind of rigid, military-like atmosphere while we’re out but because if I’m trying to get you to do something and you’re not doing it because you’re talking or screwing around with someone else, time is being wasted. If we say “bow six, row” we mean bow six, not bow, 2, and 5. Me telling you to take two strokes so I can get my point should not be something I have to repeat three times, especially when my already-loud voice is amplified through a microphone. Plus, my number one job is to maintain the safety of the crew. If I see something that could potentially be or is a dangerous situation, it’s my responsibility to get us away from it as quickly as possible. I can’t do that if no one is paying attention.

To avoid pissing off your coxswain in situations like this, don’t start a conversation with the four people around you as soon as you’re told to weigh enough, always be listening for your coxswain’s instructions (especially if you’re in bow pair), and in general, use your common sense. If the conversation can be had off the water, don’t have it on the water. Also, regarding safety, If we’re rowing and you start yelling things out, please know that I have no clue what you’re saying and I’m basically going to assume that a shark just jumped into the boat and ate your face off or we’re about to hit someone or something. I will stop the boat, ask you what you said, and then get royally pissed at you when you say you were saying something stupid like “set the boat”, “pull harder”, or whatever. Do. Not. Do. This.

Not carrying your own water bottle.

If you can see that your coxswain’s hands, basket, etc. is full or looking particularly heavy, don’t walk over and toss your full water bottle in it just as she’s about to pick it up. Stick your water bottle in your spandex and carry it yourself.

Assuming we know everything the coach is thinking and then getting pissed at us when we don’t.

To quote the person that sent this, “”Will I be rowing today? Will today be hard? What erg piece is he going to make us do next? Will I be in the boat this weekend? What are his plans for ‘X’ boat? Who’s he considering?” While some of these things are stuff coxswains SHOULD know, there is a lack communication, and/or coaches can change their minds in a heart beat if the need be.” Feel free to ask your coxswain these questions but know more often times than not that they are just as clueless as you.

Assuming you’re not doing something your coxswain (and/or coach) says you are and/or not making a change when it’s called for.

If your coach tells you to make an adjustment or points out something you’re doing, it’s our job to remind you to do it and then reinforce it as we row. Don’t assume that you’re not doing something that two people are making an effort to point out to you that you are and please don’t actually say out loud to us that you aren’t doing it. We’re looking directly at your blades so if we say that you’re skying, digging it in, late to the catch, washing out at the finish, etc. you can bet that you’re doing it.

Don’t be that guy in the boat that has such an ego that he refuses to make any changes either. If we say your name or seat number or “bow 4” or “stern 4” or “starboards” or whatever part of the boat you’re a part of, make. an. effort. to make the change we’re calling for. We can see and feel when people make those changes and as you get more experienced you can tell who specifically did and didn’t do it. I haven’t had this happen too often to me when I’ve coxed but the few times it has it’s made me feel a little disrespected and like you don’t think I actually know what I’m talking about. I understand “getting in the zone” and tuning other things out but your coxswain should not be one of those things.

Unnecessarily taking control of the boat/backseat coxing.

There are only two reasons that I can think of (as a coach and coxswain) of why it would be acceptable for a rower to take control of the boat. One is if the the coxswain is legitimately unable to cox (99.9% of the time due to a medical reason – I’ve seen this happen once) and the other is if they’re a novice and genuinely don’t know the right things to say and/or are inadvertently putting the crew in a dangerous situation. At that point the only person in the boat who should be saying anything is the stroke.

If you are shouting at your coxswain or the rest of the crew to do something, you’re undermining the coxswain’s authority. If they’re a novice, this can really hurt them in terms of trying to gain the respect of the crew. If they’re experienced it can actually make the rowers lose respect for them because it comes off as them not knowing what to do or what’s going on or more importantly, not being strong-willed enough to stand up to the rowers (who, by the power vested in them by the coach, they are technically in charge of while on the water).

Yelling at your coxswain after the fact.

Sometimes coxswains do things that piss the rowers off and you are well within your right to call them out on that. Waiting until you’re off the water and the boat and oars are put away to lose your shit on them though accomplishes absolutely nothing and only makes you look like an ass. Instead of screaming at them about whatever happened, ask them when you get off the water if you can talk to them after practice and then go down on the dock away from the rest of the team and have a conversation with them. I’m not saying the conversation has to be friendly or anything because emotions happen and I get that, but at the very least it does have to be civil. Explain what the issue is, why it’s an issue, and what you’d hope they could do differently in the future.

If the issue is really serious, talk to your coach and let them do the yelling. That’s their job. (Well, not really but you know what I mean.) If you’re more experienced than your coxswain (i.e. varsity vs. novice), you have a responsibility and a duty to help teach them and yelling is not how you go about doing that, even if at times that seems to be the quick, go-to, natural reaction. Don’t shatter their confidence before they’ve had a chance to even build any.

Bringing up a past bad race, piece, or loss to your coxswain.

That shit isn’t funny. I promise you – promise you – with absolute certainty that coxswains take these things way harder than any rower. For me, I feel a personal sense of responsibility whenever something goes wrong because it’s my boat. I’m in charge. Regardless of whether whatever made it bad was my/our fault or something completely out of our control, it eats at me and takes a while to move past, even if it seems like I’ve gotten over it pretty quickly. If we’re in a similar situation or about to do another piece or racing the same crews, I guarantee that I was already thinking about that “last time” 20 minutes before the thought even crossed your mind. I’m going over everything that happened previously so I can make sure we/I do things better this time. I don’t need you putting on your “snarky rower” hat and saying “don’t fuck up!” because I’ve been saying that to myself since I first got in the boat.

Trying to get them to be a clone of your old, last, or favorite coxswain.

I hate when coaches switch lineups and who’s coxing who each week because it causes issues for everyone. What makes things especially awkward though is when you get in a boat with a new coxswain and ask them to do everything the exact same as another coxswain on the team. The person who sent me this said that asking a coxswain to call, say, or do things the same way as another coxswain feels disrespectful and like you’re just putting up with them being in the boat because the coach put them there and not because you actually want them to be there.

I’m a big proponent of collaborative coxing while still maintaining your own individual style and way of doing things. If you had a coxswain that had this one call that you really responded to, by all means, absolutely  talk to your new coxswain about it and ask if he/she would mind trying to incorporate it into their calls. Explain why so they can get a bit of background on why it works and why you like it. If they’re smart though they’ll have already talked with the previous coxswain of their new boat to see what works and what doesn’t when coxing them, what they respond to, what they like, etc.

I hope that helps. Coxswains, feel free to leave a comment and elaborate on something I’ve said or add something I didn’t mention.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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So I’m a novice coxswain who walked on this spring. I’m doing my best to catch up with the other coxswains, but you know I’m the newest so I get the least water time, seniority blah blah blah. Whenever I do get on the boat, the rowers are pissed that they got stuck with the “shitty coxswain.” How do I motivate or correct them when I can tell they don’t want me there? (I used to be good friends with all of them, why I walked on, but now they don’t really like me on land either and I don’t know what to do. I almost regret joining crew.)

This is one of those situations where I really urge people to consider their role on the team, what they can bring to it, and whether or not they’re actually enjoying being a part of the team. I know that quitting in the middle of the season is a shitty thing to do but if you’re not enjoying it, you don’t feel like you’re making an impact, your teammates aren’t treating you well or listening to you, etc. I really believe you’ve got to ask yourself if this is the place you want/need to be. From a coach’s standpoint, I want everyone on the team to have a good time but I also want people who are willing to work their asses off alongside their teammates. If someone can’t/doesn’t want to do that or is just straight up not having a good time, both on land and on the water, I question how effective they’ll be (as either a rower or a coxswain).

Have you talked with your team captain or coach and told them what’s going on? That might be worth doing if you haven’t so that he/she can talk to them and tell them to stop acting like assholes because, I’m assuming, they’re novices too so they don’t really have any room to be complaining about people with little to no experience. I’d also tell them that you want to get better but there’s only so much you can do on land so what can you do to make sure you’re considered for a boat when lineups are made … or something along those lines.

As far as your teammates go, you have to leave the issues on land and cox them like normal, for lack of a better word. They can infer from that whatever they want but as long as you’re making the effort to coach them, call for corrections, motivate them, etc. that’s all that can be asked of you. Keep practicing your steering, calls, etc. every chance you get. Let them know when you’re steering around a corner, getting your point, etc. so that they know you’re actively working on making improvements at the same time they are. They’ll either recognize the fact that you’re making an effort or they’ll keep acting like they are, in which case I’ll repeat what I said earlier – you’ve got to seriously ask yourself if this is a team you want to be a part of.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches Training & Nutrition

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What’s your opinion about teammates drinking? Personally it kinda bothers me but I don’t know if I’m over reacting. I never drink because I just don’t think I need to in order to have fun but if other people want to that’s ok with me. It just bothers me when teammates are out drinking the night before practice or a race. I think it’s sorta disrespectful and just downright stupid especially since we’re high schoolers. If I was to address the situation how would you suggest doing so?

If people want to drink and stuff, by all means, that’s your prerogative and I’m certainly not going to stop you but it should really be kept to a minimum during the season – or not done at all (which I get is a lot to ask of college kids).  There’s a reason why a lot of college teams are “dry” in the spring and why there are consequences for anyone caught drinking during those periods. And yea, underage drinking isn’t the smartest decision but I’m not going to get on a pedestal and tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t do it … you should be able to figure that out on your own. If you can’t then you’re probably not mature enough to be the type of teammate this sport requires.

Related: What’s your opinion on rowers smoking/drinking? Do you think there can ever be a balance or should athletes just avoid it?

If you’re drinking before practice or a race and you show up hungover, you deserve to be taken out of the boat. Don’t think that people can’t tell that you’re hungover (or still drunk) either because they absolutely can. I’d find some way to make that clear to your teammates that if it’s suspected you’re hungover, you’re not rowing.

Related: Hi, I’m a novice coxswain for a men’s collegiate team. We have 3 8+’s and 4 coxswains so one person always has to sit out. During one of our races, the other novice coxswain got to cox 2 races while I had one. I don’t understand why the coaches picked her over me. She shows up to practice hungover, misses at least one practice a week, and has crashed the boat 5 times. The coaches keep commenting on how impressed they are with me but she always gets the better positions. Do I confront her? My coaches? Or should I shut my mouth and deal with it?

Unless you’re an upperclassman/team captain though, I’d caution against trying to address it with your teammates just because they could take it the wrong way and then there’d be all sorts of unnecessary drama happening. I’d discuss the issue with your coach (especially if they don’t know it’s happening) and then let them figure out the best way to handle it.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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My friends don’t really understand coxing and think I just sit there and do nothing, or it’s a ‘wimps job’ (this girl’s not my friend) and I was just wondering if you have an eloquent way to describe the importance/difficulty of coxing and how it’s not actually an easy job?

To preface this, I’m going to tell you something that one of my coaches told me … at some point, you just have to stop defending your role on the team, forget the people who question you, and go out and do what you do.

My friend (who coxed for the guys) and I were having a heated debate with some of the guys in her boat (like, seriously??) about how coxswains actually have a role on the team and we were both really irritated because it was the same thing. We don’t do anything, we just sit there, only un-athletic people are coxswains, etc. Let’s ignore the fact that I’d played sports for at least 10ish years before I started crew and the same with my friend. Granted, our first mistake was even trying to reason with them but our second and possibly bigger mistake, as my coach later pointed out, was thinking we had to defend ourselves at all.

If you really want to spar with people and get into this conversation, first ask them why they think what they think. What led them to come to that conclusion? Do they have some kind of experience with coxing and that’s how they felt or have they never been near a boathouse before? Get their side first so you can see what you’re working with. Then, go through all the responsibilities you have … just rattle them off. Some of the ones I always say include:

Safety

You’re in charge of eight other people. Lives are actually at stake, including those of people not in your boat, if you’re not being safe on the water. You have to know traffic patterns, watch out for kayakers, be able to gauge the wind speed and how that’s going to effect your steering, etc. amongst many other things.

Equipment

In your care every day, you have responsibility for … a $40k boat (assuming it’s fairly new) + 8 oars (8 x 800 = $6400) + 8 riggers (8 x 400 = $3200) + 1 cox box ($500) + maybe a Speed Coach ($200) = $50k in equipment. What other sport can say that?

Practice

Once you’re out on the water it’s your job to manage practice and keep everyone focused and on task. You’ve gotta run them through warmups, execute drills, and communicate effectively so that they can make the technical changes necessary to help you get faster. You’ve gotta have a solid understanding of the stroke in order to do this, which means having spent time off the water reviewing video and educating yourself so you can bring that knowledge into the boat and make the appropriate calls when someone needs to make a change.

Multi-tasking

Have you ever stopped to think about all the things you do at once when you’re on the water? You’re steering, calling warmups, drills, or pieces, talking to the rowers, constantly looking around to ensure you’re not going to hit anyone or anything, listening to your coach, watching your cox box, etc. If they say “oh, that’s easy”, tell them to stand up and hop backwards on one foot, eyes closed, while patting their head, rubbing their stomach, and reciting all the Presidents, last to first, and the states they were born in. Oh, and don’t hit anything when you do it.

Mental game

Rowing isn’t a game but coxing is. It’s a game that tests your wit, strength, toughness, ability to process things, etc. This is the hardest for me to explain because only those who have experienced it can really understand what it’s like or how to do it. You’ve got to be able to see things, process them, and then spit out whatever the corresponding call is all in less than a second or two. It’s not easy. If they say that’s easy, tell them to go stand by a busy intersection and name the first eight cars they see (make, model, and color), how fast they were going, and whether or not the driver was talking on their cell phone. Oh, and don’t forget to tell them they’ve got a 20 second time limit.

Athleticism

I don’t think I’ve ever seen an un-athletic coxswain, especially when looking at coxswains who are guys. Most, if not all, of the coxswains I know lift, run, erg, and work out with their rowers, sometimes when they don’t even have to. One of the reasons why I started doing the circuits and stuff with my rowers was because I realized how much I was using my core when I coxed, especially during races. The stronger your core the easier it is to project your voice and communicate with the people in the back of the boat. Granted, sometimes there are things coxswains can’t do (for me, it’s running, for other people it might be because of other injuries they’ve suffered), but it’s certainly not an indication of being a “wimp” or whatever other word you want to use. Please, call me a wimp and then let me cox you for a 2k. I guarantee you’ll be the one crying at the end of it, not me.

The reason why I prefaced this by saying at some point you’ve got to stop defending yourself is because even after going through that whole monologue, there are still going to be people who don’t get it. Whether or not they actually don’t understand or they’re just being assholes because they enjoy seeing you get pissed (I’ve dealt with both), it doesn’t matter. No one questions a rower’s role on the team, which blows my mind because … I mean, they just sit there and move back and forth, right? How hard is that?

My coach drilled this into me and it’s one thing I’ve never forgotten – you know how important you are, the coaches (hopefully) know how important you are, and if you’re lucky, your boat knows how important you are. At least, mine did. Our coaches constantly praised us (we had to earn it obviously…) and told us how they wouldn’t be able to do what they do or how our team wouldn’t be nearly as successful if we didn’t have such high-quality coxswains leading the boats. You’ve got to take that positivity and reassurance that your contribution means something and think of it every time someone says otherwise.