Tag: teammate problems

Coxing High School Q&A Rowing Teammates & Coaches

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So there is one girl on our team who is tinier than the rest of the team and she doesn’t pull as hard. She is pretty committed and went to all of our winter practices and meetings but her scores are a lot lower than other members. I have heard a few of the other rowers saying, “Why doesn’t she just quit?” And I’m the coxswain so it is my job to keep morale up. I just don’t know what to do in this situation. I tried talking to the other girls but nothing has changed.

Ah, been there. I watched a similar situation go down my sophomore year. We had a girl join our team who was enthusiastic, tried hard, was well liked by everyone, etc. but she had trouble keeping up with the other girls on the ergs because she was pretty small. Her technique was good and I think that helped make up for some of the strength deficits but most people only ever looked at her erg times, which weren’t good.

I was sitting with my friend who was the senior coxswain after practice one day and we overheard some of the varsity girls say the same thing – “Why doesn’t she just quit?” and my friend stepped in and said “Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have a teammate who tries but might not be as strong as you or a teammate who goes around talking about other people behind their back?”.

That ended up causing a huge argument which our coach ended up dealing with by basically telling the girls that they can either be supportive of their teammate who shows up (on time, everyday), gives 100% whenever she’s asked, is excited to be here, and does fine on the water or they can quit, because we don’t want or need rowers (let alone varsity rowers) who are willing to take whatever opportunity they find to talk down about another rower. If they don’t think she’s rowing like they think she should be, why aren’t they helping her? Why aren’t they giving her advice, sitting on the erg with her, etc.?

I would pose those questions to your teammates. I’d rather have a smaller rower who I know I can throw in the bow of nearly any boat than have a rower who thinks it’s OK to talk like that about a teammate.

Coxing Q&A Rowing Teammates & Coaches

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During races my coxswain always tells us we’re on, say, 5 seat when in reality we’re even or sometimes even behind. Other than that she’s a good coxswain but we can obviously tell that she is giving us the wrong information. We have politely asked her to be honest but she just keeps saying that she does it to keep our morale up. We’d all so much rather know where we actually are! How do we handle this? Thanks!

Ugh coxswains, stop doing this!! There it is in writing – rowers want the truth, not what you think they want to hear.

This goes past the point of just not listening to what her crew wants. For me, it’s now an issue of respect. Yea, you’re the one calling the shots but you’ve got to respect the rowers enough to listen to them when they ask you to do something differently because whatever you’re doing isn’t working. I’m glad you guys have asked her politely but now might be the time to ask her a little more firmly. Sometimes it’s necessary to be a little harsh to get your point across. Just tell her straight out that her coxing is great but she’s not helping you and it’s not boosting morale when she tells you things that you can blatantly see aren’t true. Tell her why it doesn’t help you and the reasons you have for wanting to know where you are, regardless of whether your position is good or bad.

Related: I want to try to get this straight [no pun intended]: When boats are racing, if our bow ball is on the other boat’s stern deck, you call that or say like “riding their stern?” and when it’s cox to cox it’s “lined up?” And if the cox is next to the other boat’s 6 seat or is it when our bow ball takes their 6 seat? Thanks!

If talking to her (again) doesn’t do anything, talk to your coach. You’ve given her several opportunities now to make a change and she hasn’t respected your requests. Hopefully your coach can understand where you’re coming from and talk to her. Maybe hearing it from a more authoritative figure will spark something.

Coxing Q&A Racing Rowing Teammates & Coaches

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My girls really like when I cox off of other boats, even if we’re just doing steady state. I’m in the 2V boat so they all want to beat the 1V at ALL times. I find it easy to cox when we’re next to another boat/in front of it. However, I never quite know what to say without being negative and annoying when we’re CLEARLY behind another boat. Yesterday afternoon we were practically three lengths behind the v1, and we STILL didn’t catch up even when they added a pause. What do I say at times like these? I always end up getting rather quiet since the overall attitude of my boat is pretty down. I feel like whenever I call a 10 or get into the piece at this point it does absolutely nothing, since my rowers have practically given up.

This is a tough situation. I’ve been in this spot before and it took a lot of trial and error to figure out what works and what doesn’t. It’s definitely always easier coxing when you’re ahead of or at least close to the boats you’re rowing with, but when you’re behind it’s an entirely new ball game. Your personality plays a huge part in situations like this too – my boats, regardless of their experience, knew that I was always going to be very matter of fact and brutally honest with what I said.

I could easily tell when we were behind because we were being out-muscled and when we were behind because our rowing was atrocious. If we were behind because we were being out-muscled and I knew there wasn’t a chance for us to catch up, I’d start focusing on technique. If we can’t beat them, we can at least row better than them, right? While they should still be rowing hard, there is no point in constantly telling them they’re behind, they need to row harder to catch up, etc. because it’s demoralizing and the rowers don’t get anything out of it. If your coaches get pissed off and say you should have been pushing them harder, honestly, I’d just shrug and move on. I got so frustrated when one of my coaches said this to me once that I just threw my hands up in the air and was like, short of pulling the oar myself, what do you want me to do? There’s only so much the coxswain can do, and all three parties – you, the rowers, and the coach(es) – have to accept that.

If this is the situation you’re in, try to take the competition out of it (regardless of what the rowers want) and focus on the things you can control, like how well they’re rowing. It doesn’t have to be “OK well, we’re like three lengths behind so let’s work on catches now!” but if you notice you’ve fallen to the back of the pack, just casually stop talking about the other boat and start calling for crisper catches, quick hands away, strong cores, jumping on the first inch, controlled recoveries, clean finishes, level hands into the catch, etc. Every minute or two, throw in a burst and get really into it. Call it like you’re calling a dead heat at a race. 

If the crew we were out with was one that we should be beating or staying with, all gloves are off, no apologies. I am not going to be nice and you can bet I’m going to kick your ass up and down the course until you row like I know you can. I don’t care if we get ahead of the other crew so much as I care about the rowing getting better. I still push for us to get ahead though, obviously. When this happens, I call the rowers out one by one. I make it a point to find out what makes them tick, what pisses them off, what motivates them, what are their goals, what do they want, etc. so that in times like these I can use it to our advantage. I’ll also use what I know about the other crew to push mine – “Amanda’s split was 8 seconds higher than yours Danielle. You know you’re stronger than her so start acting like it. Yea, there it is! Now, let’s get after that 5 seat…” When they do something you want, even if it’s the most minuscule, seemingly unimportant thing, you have to get pumped. Not to the point where it’s obvious you’re faking it, but get excited. Your excitement motivates the rowers and makes them want to work.

The other boat is irrelevant anyways. You’re not going to improve unless you focus on what you are doing and how you are rowing. I’d remind your rowers of that since it sounds like they might be more concerned with beating the 1V instead of becoming better athletes. Yes, the competition is good, but only when it encourages you to get better. When all you care about is beating someone, everything else falls to the wayside. Also, keep in mind that if they were beating the 1V every time they went out they probably would be the 1V … but they’re not, they’re the 2V which means their expectations need to be realistic given the lineups and whatever else.

Related: Today during practice we just did 20 minute pieces of steady state rowing. My crew gets bored very quickly and their stroke rating goes down, so I decided to add in various 13 stroke cycles throughout the piece, but I regret doing it because it wasn’t steady state. I’m just confused as to how to get them engaged throughout without sounding like a cheerleader but at the same time keeping up the drive and stroke.

Whatever you do, don’t get quiet. Regardless of the situation you’re in, you can’t give up. If the rowers have given up it’s your responsibility to get them back into it. If that’s something you’re struggling with then I’d talk with them and spend some time sorting out your priorities. Set goals for your steady state so that they aren’t only focusing on beating someone because that is rarely the goal for workouts like that.

Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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My coach keeps undermining me as a captain. For example, the other day our squad was going for a run and a group of novices were mucking around and walking and got back 10 minutes after the next slowest group. I tried talking to them and said that they needed to take it more seriously and not muck around when we are training if they want to get anywhere this season. They then went and complained to the coach and he talked to me and said that “we aren’t a running club or athletics club and I have to let people complete things in their own time”. I feel like our novices have the wrong attitude towards training and rowing in general but every time I try to talk to them about it they complain to the coach who just undermines everything I say so I feel the novices don’t respect me as captain. Also, we aren’t going to achieve results with attitudes the way they are. What can I do?

You aren’t an athletics club … uh, what are you then? If we let people complete things “in their own time” 2ks would take about 10+ minutes to do. Sorry but that is one of the most bullshit things I’ve ever heard a coach say.

I think as a captain, you are upholding the responsibilities of your title by talking with the novices about this. I would have done the same thing, as I’m sure many other team captains out there would have and if I was your coach, it’s what I would have expected you to do. If their response to that was to complain to your coach instead of taking your words to heart and deciding to change their attitudes, then you have a bigger problem than just your coach undermining you.

Your coach is undermining your authority as, I’m assuming, a team elected official. I know in turn this will probably sound like you are undermining him but if you have an assistant coach you can talk to, I would talk to them about this. Part of their unwritten job duties is to reel the head coach back into reality when necessary so I’d explain to them exactly what you said here and how you feel like by undermining you in front of the novices it feels like he’s making it seem like it’s OK for them to disrespect you and not take things seriously. If you don’t have another coach to talk to, you just have to man up and go talk to your coach face to face (which you should eventually do anyways, but it’s nice having the buffer of someone on their level deal with it first).

I’d ask for a private meeting and then again, explain what you’ve said here. Things can go one of two ways. He’ll either realize what he’s doing and make an effort to fix it by telling the novices they need to start taking things a little more seriously and giving you the respect you deserve as a captain or nothing will change. I’m assuming that this isn’t your first attempt to tackle this novice problem so nothing changes going forward despite whatever efforts you make, I’d reflect on everything and ask if it’s worth staying in this role as team captain if you aren’t actually being allowed to execute the responsibilities of the position. If you decide it’s not, I’d talk with the other captains or team leaders and your coach and step down. It’s not worth the frustration if all it is is a title without any of the “power” to actually be a captain (at least, I don’t think it is).

I’d like to think your coach will recognize that what he’s doing isn’t just undermining your authority but also ingraining in these new rowers that mediocrity is acceptable. If you have fellow captains you can talk to, talk to them and see if they’ve experienced similar issues with your coach and if they have, perhaps you guys can all (respectfully) confront him together.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I cox a very close-knit men’s team, and sometimes it makes me feel excluded. They all live together and hang out together. If I happen to be there when they’re making plans, they always invite me, but they’d never think of including me if I wasn’t there. Is this a normal team dynamic between coxswains and rowers or only when you’re coxing a different-sex boat or does my team just not like me very much?

I wouldn’t say that it’s a normal coxswain-rower dynamic but I wouldn’t read too much into it either. If they didn’t like you at all they wouldn’t bother extending an invitation when you are around.

Related: I guess this is more a social life outside of rowing kind of question, but I’m in university rowing and there are a lot of socials which a lot of people attend. But, being in the UK, it’s all about getting drunk and partying etc, and I don’t particularly enjoy that so most of the time I feel left out and only go to the bigger ones (like Christmas ball) and have one glass. But I’m also a novice and want to meet people/seniors which is hard if you just go to practice. Do you have any advice?

The fact that you’re a girl and they’re guys could play into it a little – maybe they don’t think you’d enjoy playing video games or doing whatever else it is they do. My suggestion would be to come up with your own plans and invite them to hang out with you. Conference tournaments and March Madness will be here before you know it – invite them over to watch the games, eat tons of nachos, and just chill as a team. It’s entirely possible that they’re just completely clueless as to how much fun you are to hang out with so it’s up to you to show them!

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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What would you say differently if this post was asked by a varsity coxswain?

I’d still bring it to the coach’s attention but as the more experienced coxswain (thus a team leader by default) I’d also take the coxswain(s) aside and ask/say something along these lines.

Why did you join crew? Did they actually want to do it or were they forced to find an extracurricular to partake in?

You lack of enthusiasm has become quite noticeable to the rowers in your boat – did you know that?

It’s been noted that you don’t enjoy going out on the water. It’s kind of a big part of coxing so if you don’t enjoy being out there, I’d say it’s time to start reevaluating if rowing is the sport for you.

Regardless of whether you enjoy it or not, if you’re going to be here you need to take it seriously because coxswains who are flippant about safety or not paying attention because they’re uninterested can quickly become some of the biggest hazards on the river.

Are you aware of the responsibilities of a coxswain? If yes, any particular reason why they’re not doing them? If no, explain what they are (general responsibilities and any specific ones that your club has).

Can you handle the responsibilities? If yes, good. Come back tomorrow prepared to do better. If not, again, time to start reevaluating things.

Explain the team dynamic to them – what’s the philosophy, what are the team’s goals for the season, why are the coxswains important in helping achieve those goals, etc.

Let them know that you and the other varsity coxswains (and rowers) are there to help (and that you want to help) but they can only help you if you’re willing to listen and learn. A blasé attitude is not going to be accepted by anyone who chooses to be a member of the team.

That is all assuming you’re talking to a novice. If you’re talking to a fellow varsity coxswain, this is what I’d say:

Seriously, you’ve been already been doing this for 2, 3, 4 years. Underclassmen look up to you  and you’re expected to set the example. Get your shit together.

Things are a little different when you’re a varsity coxswain because you’ve got more experience and an assumed leadership role on your side. You should however, like I said, alert the coach to the issue but let them know that you’ve talked to the person and this was what was said. This makes them aware of the situation and gives them an opportunity to quietly observe the person to see if any improvements can be seen.

Related: How do you deal with coxswains who just don’t really want to do what they’re supposed to do? I’m a very passionate novice cox but there are others who tend to slack off and don’t like going out on water and aren’t very helpful/motivating to the rowers. Some girls on their boats have come up to me and asked me to talk to the other coxswains.

If after a week or so things are starting to look better, let the issue rest for the time being. If not, then it’s time for the coach to step in and talk to the athlete and really lay down the law of shape up or get out.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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How do you deal with coxswains who just don’t really want to do what they’re supposed to do? I’m a very passionate novice cox but there are others who tend to slack off and don’t like going out on water and aren’t very helpful/motivating to the rowers. Some girls on their boats have come up to me and asked me to talk to the other coxswains.

If you were a varsity coxswain, I would probably give you different advice but since you’re a novice, same as them (I assume), I’ll say this: let your coach handle it. You can and should absolutely bring the issue to their attention but as far as talking to them I’d let the coach do it. If the other coxswains figure out that the rowers went behind their backs to talk to you and then you said something to them, even if you have the best intentions, shit could hit the fan. It could come off as you putting yourself on some kind of pedestal and thinking you’re better than or in charge of them, which will lead to them completely ignoring you and then taking it out on their rowers for being snitches.

Related: As a coxswain I do all the workouts (to keep weight down and to encourage/have respect from rowers) but none of the other coxswains do. Do you think I should ask them to join? I just feel when we are concentrating to do 50 push-ups and they are laughing they kinda bugs me / gets me off track, I don’t want them to sacrifice our rowers work outs. I know the rowers are quite annoyed also … should I tell them to leave join, stop, etc?

I witnessed a similar situation in high school when I was a junior or senior and it made practice miserable for everyone. It sucks having people like that on your team but sometimes the best solution is to just let the person in charge deal with it. They actually have the authority to tell them to either shape up or get out.

Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Hello! (I’m not going to give too much detail since there may be teammates who read your blog.) We’re in high school and the novices pranked us [it was an innocent one] and everybody is SO mad now, more so because they got one put over them. It’s high school, so I’m wondering, if my teammates can act like that, is it even worth it to be on the team with them?

That sounds really dumb – your teammates reactions, not the prank. What’s wrong with a little fun? As long as no one was directly hurt (physically, emotionally, whatever), what’s the problem?

It sucks that your teammates are displaying such a poor attitude but unless their attitudes are always like this, I wouldn’t do anything crazy like quit the team or something. If it’s really causing a huge issue that is having negative effects on the team and you’re in position where you can call a team meeting, I’d have one so everyone can just hash it out and be done with it. Even if you’re not in that position, recruit your team captain or coxswain to make it happen (preferably someone neutral to the situation). Nobody needs unnecessary drama on their team. Ask your teammates, is this making us faster? Is this good for team camaraderie? Is this helping us towards that Youth Nationals team trophy? The answers are probably “no”, which hopefully will help them realize how immature they’re being.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I have a slight situation. I’m a 2nd year coxswain for a D2 college and I feel like I’m associated with the bottom boat because we are the only boat that practices frequently with the new assistant coach. I know I have a lot to improve on and I shouldn’t have that mentality that I’m a horrid coxswain but I just don’t know what to do when I try so hard during the pieces to increase the intensity (with rhythm calls, focus 5/10s, powers, imaginary scenarios, etc.) but there’s just a lack of ‘something’(will power? determination?) in my boat. It’s been especially tough this week. On Tuesday, we did 2X25’ 18-22-18. I drove the only 8+ with the other 3 varsity coxswains in 4+s. 8+s are definitely supposed to beat 4+s, no matter what, but we finished behind every time. We were started 2’ behind on the first piece, but even on the second one when we all started together, we still didn’t pass them. Coach had a talk with our boat after and gave them a chance to redeem themselves on Thursday, but he switched me and two rookie rowers out. The boat definitely moved and beat the 4+ on all the pieces. The lack of intensity happened again today though when we practiced with the novices, whom we also finished behind. I just don’t know what it is. One of my rowers said that if she’s in a shitty boat one more time she’s quitting, but I don’t think she means that my boat is the “shitty” boat (cause she’s been with novices lately), but at the same time it does lower my morale. Though she might not have meant that I drove the bottom boat, I feel like my other teammates do. I don’t know what to do anymore, or say anymore. Is it me? What can I do to change this?

Maybe the reason you’re with the “lower boat” is because your coach sees something in you that he thinks could resonate with those rowers. He thinks that you could be the key component in making them better. That’s a compliment, not an insult. Is that actually the case? Why knows, but it’s a lot more positive thinking that than it is “well, clearly I suck and that’s why I’m with this crew”.

If you’re curious why you’re with that boat, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask. You might find that there are certain parts of your coxing style that he thinks would help these rowers but there are other parts that he wants you to work on in a lower-stress environment than if you were with the first or second varsity boats. Maybe your vocal intensity and the clarity of your calls is something he really likes but your steering is something that needs a lot of work. You never know until you ask.

What’s your overall team/boat morale like? Are the rowers people you can depend on to show up (literally and figuratively) every day and give 100% or are they the type who are pretty “meh” about things? If it’s the latter, I don’t want to say they’re lost causes but there’s really only so much you can do. They have to be motivated to go out and row their best before they even wake up in the morning. If they’re not there’s nothing you’re going to be able to say that will help them.

If you know they’re committed, great. If they’re not, talk with your coach and get their take on things. Do they know that this is their attitude towards the team and it’s something they’ve accepted and found a way to work with or are they unaware about the lack of commitment from them? Either way, if it’s to the point where they’re going out and just rowing without a purpose or literally just going through the motions, that’s something that warrants a conversation with your coach. No one wants to coach people who are unmotivated or unwillingly to put the effort in and I know for me, as a coxswain, I cannot cox people like that. It mostly has to do with my already dangerously low levels of patience but also because I want to row with people who are just as fired up to be on the water as I am – if I can tell right away through your attitude or performance that you’re not excited to me there, it makes me less motivated to be with you, which then leads to me putting in less effort.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if your teammates think you’re the reason the boat performed one way or the other, it’s whether or not the coach thinks that. The only way to have any kind of definitive answer is to sit down and talk to them. I would also talk to the rowers in your boat. Ask them what felt different, why’d it feel different, what did that particular coxswain say that they think helped them move, how did she say it, what’s something she did well that they’d like to see you incorporate, etc. Also talk to that coxswain. I’m an extremely competitive person and would probably be really annoyed if I was in your situation because I would see myself to now be in direct competition with this other coxswain but experience (and maturity, obviously) has taught me that there’s a lot of value in using our competition to our advantage.

I mean “competition” in a friendly way too. If something she does can help you improve your skill set, by all means, interpret it to your style and incorporate it and vice versa – if she thinks that something you do would help her, tell her how you do it, let her interpret it in her own way, and go from there. Yes, personally, our goals as coxswains are to get better but the main point of our role on the team is the help make the boats move fast. If that means using something you learned from another coxswain who took out that boat one day then so be it. I’m trying to get away from the mindset of automatically shunning things because I disagree with how they’re done (because it’s not how I do them) or who the person is that originally did them and in doing that I’ve picked up a lot of great techniques that they’ve used but have been able to incorporate into my style and make my own.

Spend some time talking to your coach, teammates, etc. and get feedback from them. Use your coxing powers to do what you can to get people excited to be at practice. Maybe if they see that you are enthusiastic about being there and going out and you can get them fired up to row, regardless of who they’re up against, that’ll trigger something in them that motivates them to give it a little more when they’re on the water.

College Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I’m not sure if it’s like this at other colleges but our varsity and novice teams are separated. Winter and Spring season is supposed to mix novice and varsity, but our novice group feels as if the varsity is “stuck up”, as if they don’t remember their novice year [at some point in their life]. There are a few that are super nice and helpful but the others scorn or just don’t talk to us. Do you have any advice on handling it? Or are we too sensitive – maybe we’ll bond later on?

I think many of us felt this way when we were freshmen too – Syracuse was similar in how they separated the novice and varsity teams. Normally the winter training trip is used as a big bonding sesh between the varsity and novices so you’ve got that to look forward to. In time, I think everyone gets to know each other better by default but it does take some effort on both parts. Try to plan some events together, whether it be dinner at someone’s apartment, a party with the other teams, etc. and see if that helps.

From the novice’s perspective, I’d start the season with a clean slate and just try talking with them. It doesn’t have to be a huge gab-fest or anything, just something like “hey, how’d your row go” or “did you have professor _____ when you were a freshman?” or just something super casual like that. It’s simple stuff but it initiates interaction between you two. If they still act bitchy and don’t talk to you … honestly, I’d just say “their loss” and stick with the ones who are nice to you and who you enjoy being around. I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive – situations like this can be frustrating for everyone, but more so when you constantly have to be around the same people.