Tag: teammate problems

Coxing How To Q&A Rowing Teammates & Coaches

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I know coaches are always looking for “team leaders” but there’s this one girl on my team who TRIES to be a leader but is just ignorant & bossy. Inevitably, she only hurts herself by getting on her teammates & even coaches nerves. She’s leaving next year (along with a huge majority of my team) & I want to be an effective leader but I’m afraid of being annoying to underclassmen like this girl is to me. How do I lead w/o being bossy and making people want to straight up slap me in the face?

Ha, I know exactly the kind of person you’re talking about. It’s painful being on a team with someone like that.

Step 1. Think of all the reasons why she is a poor and/or ineffective leader and why it doesn’t work … then do the EXACT opposite of that.

Step 2. I really do believe that being a good leader involves invoking a form of the Golden Rule – lead others as you would like to be led. Do not unnecessarily raise your voice or yell at people (unless they have genuinely done something to deserve it – and if they have, let your coach handle it) and don’t treat them like crap and think you can get away with it because, like you said, inevitably you’re only hurting yourself.

Step 3. Being a team captain or leader is less about telling people what to do and more about leading by example. Think of what you want your team to be or what you want them to become and then start ACTING like that. At the start of the season, hold a team meeting and set goals for the season. Throughout the year, remind your team of what you’ve accomplished so far and remind them of the goals still ahead.

Step 4. Encourage others by pushing yourself – everything you do will be noticed by your teammates so make sure you’re giving 150% one hundred percent of the time.

Step 5. Keep open lines of communication with EVERYONE on the team – not just the people in your boat or just your friends. Let it be known that if anyone is having a problem, rowing related or not, they can come to you. No judgement either. Keep an eye out for anyone who looks like they’re having a rough time. When they’re alone, either before or after practice, let them know that if they need to talk, they know where to find you. Leave it at that and don’t push the issue.

Step 6. Embrace the leadership role. Don’t act like it’s a burden but don’t do what this girl is doing by trying to force the role upon herself. If people see that you’re dedicated to the team and you’re committed to becoming a good leader, people will be more open to accepting you as their captain. Try not to channel Napoleon and develop a complex.

Step 7. Don’t wait to become a leader – do it now! You don’t have to wait until this girl is gone to start leading your team. Don’t incite a power struggle whenever you’re around her, just start doing the things that a leader should do. It’s up to you to determine what your team needs. Talk with your coaches and explain that you’re not trying to cause drama or anything like that, but you’d like to see someone take a more effective leadership role on the team. Since you’ll be a senior (I’m assuming) next year, you felt that it would be good to begin gaining that experience now. Ask if there is anything you can help with or anything specific they would like you to do and then go from there.

Talk to this other girl and ask if there’s anything you can help her with. If she says “OMG yes, nobody ever listens to me when I try and do … (whatever)”, take that opportunity to say “OK, I’ll see what I can do” and then go do it. If she says “nope, I’m good” say “OK, well, if you need anything or get overwhelmed with (whatever), feel free to let me know” and leave it at that. Don’t make it blatantly obvious to her that she sucks as a leader and you think you can do better. Let her come to you. In the mean time, find little things you can do to start building up your rapport with the coaches and your teammates.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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Ok, so we got a new coxswain. I’m in jr varsity (I’m a rower) and she moved here 2weeks ago. She just isn’t very good. Maybe she is nervous or isn’t used to this course but I have lightly hinted that maybe she start taking notes or go on the launch to maybe watch etc. but she hasn’t and she is super sweet but it’s really hard to have to cox a boat nears her. It’s like she is a novice. I don’t know how to politely tell her or the coaches without starting drama.

Hmm. What do the other coxswains think? Have you tried talking to the coxswain of your boat? I guarantee that if you, a rower, has noticed she’s not very good, the coxswains have DEFINITELY noticed it. I think that as long as you’re polite about it and not gossipy or rude, no one will look at it as starting drama. I would talk to the coxswains first and see what they say and suggest to them that they talk to her and fill her in before going to your coach. If you end up in a boat she’s in and her coxing effects your practice, then I might talk to your coach and explain what you’re thinking. No coach wants their practices to be a waste of time and if the coxswain is causing valuable time to be wasted, he/she will probably want to talk to her.

I’d try talking to her yourself too, maybe get to know her and see what her background in rowing is. How long has she coxed for, why’d she get into rowing, what was her old team like, etc. Take that information and use that to help convince her that maybe taking a step back and seeing how you guys do things would be helpful to her. She should want to get better and adapt to her new team’s way of doing things, so hopefully she’ll be receptive to your, your coach’s, and the other coxswain’s suggestions.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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How do I get my boat to respect me?? I’m a novice coxswain on the B boat. I do all the workouts and I asked a few people for advice in what they want to hear etc but some still don’t respect me! I’m nice but firm when needed to be. I was a rower for 3 months in a a single and 2 months in an 8 and 4. I was good, they wanted me to go to varsity singles this year so I kinda get rowing better than most coxswains so I do what I wanted my coxswain to do but still no respect from half my boat!!

Hmm. I guess my question here is why your boat doesn’t respect you…

How old are you/the rowers?

Do you know them well (are you friends outside of crew or did you just recently meet them)?

Do the rowers actually CARE about crew/do they know that YOU care?

Have you done something, knowingly or unknowingly, that might have pissed them off or given them the wrong impression about you?

When you’re on the water, do you know what you’re doing or are you constantly starting and stopping (to fix steering, have someone explain the workout, etc.)?

What is different about the people who DO respect you vs. the people who don’t?

Gaining the respect of your crew can be hard. It’s more about trust than anything else. The rowers who want to be there recognize that and will usually make an effort to get to know their coxswain if they don’t already know them. Doing the workouts with them is a good start and the fact that you have rowed before will be really helpful to you.

If you’re still having problems with those few people, I’d make a concerted effort to get to know them. Talk to them when you’re not on the water, offer to give them a ride home, etc. Maybe if they get to know you, they’ll stop being assholes. If something unpleasant happens on the water, leave it on the water. Don’t bring drama into the boat in the first place but leave whatever drama happened on the water out on the water. Be the mature one and shut that down immediately.

Before you start winter training (or if you’ve already started, after you get back from Christmas break), sit down with your boat and have a “goal setting session”. Take it upon yourself to do this. Ask them what their goals are for the winter and what their goals are for the spring. Write them down and revisit them throughout the winter, at the beginning of spring, and at the end of the spring season. Remind them what your goals are and that in order to accomplish them, you have to work as a team, which requires mutual respect amongst everyone in the boat.

If none of these things work, I’d take them aside individually and figure out what the problem is. Tell them that you’ve noticed that things are weird between you guys and you don’t want it to effect the boat while you’re training over the winter and especially once the spring season starts. Ask if there’s something specific that you’ve done to offend them or give them the wrong impression. If they’re being an ass just to be an ass though, that’s a problem you should talk to your team captains/coach about. Hopefully they recognize your efforts in working out with them, as well as your rowing knowledge, and can give you a little more firsthand insight than I can.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

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I started rowing about a year and a half ago, but I’m 4’11 so my coach had me cox 4-5 months after I had started rowing and instantly fell in love. I’m a varsity coxswain, but I always have trouble finding my voice during races. I’m not terribly confident because some of the girls in my boat criticize me, but it’s never constructive it’s really rude, but I stumble over my words and end up repeating myself. Do you have any tips on how I could improve my calls?

How many is “some”? Is it one, two, five … ? Regardless of how many people it is, you should talk to your coach and tell him/her what’s going on. Explain that constructive criticism is fine but that isn’t what you’re getting.

Something I’ve found is that when rowers start being rude like that, they don’t trust their coxswain for whatever reason, legitimate or not. If you haven’t yet, try talking to them before you talk with your coach. Tell them that their criticism isn’t helping because it comes off as being hostile and ask if you’ve done something in particular to make them not trust you as their coxswain. It might be awkward at first but as the leader of the boat it’s your responsibility to be assertive and figure out what the deal is. They also need to keep their feedback to themselves until you get OFF the water. Until then it just ends up being a distraction. You’ve got to work on not being nervous and not letting those few rowers get to you. Listen to what they say, eliminate the bitchiness, and see if you can see what they’re trying to convey. If they’re just being rude, ignore them.

As you become more confident in your abilities, your calls will come to you. When you make a call, be aggressive, assertive, concise, and direct. Don’t waver or let your voice give away that you don’t totally trust what you’re saying.

Something I always recommend to coxswains who are looking to improve their calls is to listen to the recordings of other coxswains. It can be helpful to hear what other people say so that you can then borrow, adapt, and modify their calls to fit your crew. Hearing the different tones of voice that other coxswains use can also help you find the most effective way to say things to your crew. Here is a list of coxswain recordings I’ve found online that should help with this.

Talk to your rowers, talk to your coach, work on your confidence, and you will be FINE. Don’t let your rowers walk all over you. Chances are that you haven’t done anything wrong, those few rowers have just sensed “weakness” and pounced on it. That’s just some people’s personality. When you’re in the boat though, you’re in charge and you should be the only one talking.

College Novice Q&A Rowing Teammates & Coaches

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Hi! I go to a D1 school and our rowing program is supposed to be really good and any woman can walk on. If you can stay with it, you’re on the roster. I spent this past summer learning to row, and stroked my first regatta (novice masters women’s 8) early September with my local boathouse. I’m upset right now though. My skill and athleticism level is at the bottom of the recruits and the walk-ons. And I’m having trouble making friends with either group. How do I assimilate and what do I do?

Why do you think you’re having trouble? Is it because there’s an age difference between you and them or is it something else? My advice would be to just strike up a conversation and see how it goes. Talk about practice – how’d their boat do today, what drills did they do, how’d it go, etc. Ask about classes – are they taking anything interesting, what are their professors like, etc. Talk about why they decided to do crew. What’s motivating them to stick with it? Discuss your annoying roommates or the weird people that live in your dorm. This is a great ice breaker because you’ll end up having some kind of weird pissing contest to see who has the roommate or hall-mates with the most annoying habits, weirdest quirks, etc. It’s a good way to get everyone talking because even if you’ve only been on campus for a week, you’ll already have at least one story to share.

Is your skill level and athleticism REALLY below the recruits and walk-ons or do you just perceive it that way? What are you basing that off of? The recruits are going to be better than the walk-ons because they’ve been rowing for 3-4 years already – they were recruited for a reason. If you just learned to row this summer, you’ve only been rowing for … what … 4 months, max? It’s like comparing a major leaguer with a minor leaguer. The major league player has years of experience whereas the minor leaguer has a few years of high school, maybe college experience. The two are incomparable because their experiences are different. The minor leaguer is still learning, similar to you and the other walk-ons.

I know when I first started in college, the walk-ons were all terrible. I can’t believe that your skill level is lower than theirs if you spent all summer learning to row and have already stroked an 8+. Has your coach given you some kind of indication that you’re not up to par? If he/she has, I would talk to them and get some clarification. Tell them what’s bothering you and ask for advice. If they’re a good coach, you should feel comfortable talking to them and they should in turn be able to help you out with any questions you have.

As far as your athleticism, that’s something you can work on on your own without everyone else around. Go to the gym, hit the ergs, hit the bikes, lift weights, go swimming, etc. and work on your strength and endurance. It’s a fantastic way to get out your aggression and frustrations, trust me. If you don’t want to do something by yourself, see if your rec center offers group Pilates classes and then ask some of the other girls on the team if they’d like to go with you. Pilates is awesome for building a strong core, which is something you need in order to be a successful rower. Afterwards, go grab a coffee and just sit and chat. Two birds, one stone.

I’m sure you’re doing better than you think you are. Give yourself credit – most people wouldn’t do what you did over the summer. That shows commitment and an honest desire to be a part of the team. Talk to your coaches or some of the older varsity members and ask for some advice. They’ve ALL been in the position you’re in right now and might be able to share some of their experiences.