Tag: teammates

Rowing Video of the Week

Video of the Week: Traits of a Champion

This is a great video to watch and absorb now that we’re all in the midst of winter training. What does being a champion mean to you? It might be some of the things mentioned here, it might be all of them, or it might be none of them but whatever your definition is, repeat it to yourself before each practice and before every erg piece, run, and lift. Don’t let a hard workout or a workout you don’t want to do make you forget what being a champion means and entails.

Here’s the list of what’s mentioned in the video.

Champions focus on the end result; they train with a sense of purpose.

A champion never thinks they’re working hard enough and want to do more.

A champion trains in the moment without thought about the next practice.

Championships are earned in the winter and champions are crowned in the spring.

Everyone wants to win but there can only be one champion.

The goal of a champion is to win and it is your decision whether you wish to pursue it or not.

A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning.

A champion is someone who is bent over drenched in sweat and at the point of exhaustion when no one is watching.

A champion is someone who focuses on the process of becoming a winner rather than actually winning.

If being a champion is a choice then it is your choice to make.

If you have a team meeting where you discuss your goals for the upcoming season, that would be a good time to determine how you define being a champion and what traits you as a group need to employ to meet that definition and achieve your goals.

Coxswain evaluations + how I organize them

College Coxing High School Teammates & Coaches

Coxswain evaluations + how I organize them

I get a lot of emails asking about coxswain evaluations. Coaches want to know what they should say, how long they should be, are they even necessary (why would you ask me, of all people, this question), etc. and coxswains want to know how to interpret everything, what they should take seriously, and how much of what the rowers wrote is based on their level of like/dislike for person they’re writing about. Additionally, if you have a coxswain who is new to the team (like us – we have one freshman and two upperclassmen) it can be hard for them to know what to take away from the evaluations since they likely won’t have coxed many of the rowers if you do these early on in the season and the feedback can be scarce and occasionally harsh.

Coxswain evaluations are important and coaches should make it a priority to do them at least two or three times during the year. The problem though is what I said above – coaches don’t know how to make them and coxswains don’t know how to interpret them which renders the time you put into them all but wasted. Coaches also have to realize that part of doing evals is spending 20-30ish minutes going over them with your coxswains, explaining some of the more ambiguous comments, giving them specific things to work on based off the feedback, etc. Done right, yes, it does amount to a few hours of work but at the end of the day it’s a few hours well spent and your coxswains will be that much better for it. And, to be honest, it’s quite literally the least you can do for them in terms of helping them get better.

Related: Thoughts on coxswain evaluations? How should they be approached as a coach? And as a coxswain? What is the most effective method you have seen?

Sometime in October-ish we did our first round of evaluations for our three coxswains. I was excited but a little apprehensive at the same time because every coxswain evaluation I’ve seen before this has been borderline awful and/or useless. Thankfully the one they’ve been using is actually pretty good and manages to cover all the bases pretty well. (I’ll go into detail a bit more down below.)

Once the rowers had filled them out (this took maybe 10-15 minutes total) I collected them and asked the other coaches if they were going to go over them with the coxswains. They said “nah, we usually just give them the sheets to read on their own” to which I responded with this exact expression (I’m completely serious). Now, let’s think about this for a second. If you were given 20+ evaluations containing a lot of comments but no real indication of which of the three coxswains the feedback was directed towards, how much would you get out reading them? Probably not a lot. So … here’s what I did to make it easier for the coxswains to actually use the feedback they were being given.

To preface this, I’ve made templates of my “system” for you to use with your coxswains if you’d like. Everything is explained down below and can be found in this Google Doc.

First things first – the evaluation itself, which is on the first tab of that spreadsheet. MIT’s used this one for awhile so I can’t take credit for making it but I do like it so at the very least I’m endorsing it. It’s simple and to the point but open-ended enough for the rowers to elaborate if they have any specific comments (which, obviously, the goal is for them to do that with each section).

Once you have your evaluations and they’re filled out the next thing you’ve gotta do is figure out what to do with all that information. The first thing that I did was take all the numerical ratings and average them into one number so that instead of having 20+ ratings for each of the nine sub-sections, they’d only have one number each. (The sheet for this is under “Overall Evaluation” in the second tab at the bottom.) This allows them to get a better idea of where they fall on the 1-5 scale. It’s just like what your teachers do with your grades – instead of giving you a million individual grades at the end of the semester they just give you one that you can then compare to the pre-defined scale in order to determine how you did.

I tend to spend a lot of time on this section because averaging 20+ numbers for nine sections times three people is rather time-consuming. Luckily the day that I crunched all the winter numbers last week was when everyone was either biking or out on a long run so this ended up being a good way for me to pass the time until they got back. I have a pretty good system that works well for me so it only took me about an hour, or maybe a little less than, to get everything averaged out.

The next part is the most time-consuming. I’ve done this twice now and each time I’ve spent about 2.5 – 3hrs total putting these spreadsheets together (so about 45-60min per coxswain). How long it takes you will depend on how many coxswains you have, how many comments your rowers have left/how detailed they are, how diligent you are about dividing them up amongst the coxswains they apply to, and whether or not you boil down the comments to two to four bullet points of specific things to work on (hint: you should).

Each coxswain has their own sheet for each season that we’ve conducted the evals. We just did our second set last week so as you can see, each coxswain has two sheets so far for the year. Each individual sheet (noted as “Coxswain A”, “Coxswain B”, and “Coxswain C” in that spreadsheet) is broken down into four main sections, just like the evaluation itself. There’s a “pros”, “cons”, and “general comments” section where I’ve taken all the comments the rowers have left and divided them up to fit into one of those three categories. Most of the time the rowers will specify if their comments are directed towards a particular coxswain but if they don’t then I just consider it a general comment that’s directed towards everyone and I’ll include it on each person’s sheet.

As you can see, some of the comments are a bit repetitive but I think it’s important to write them all down regardless so that the coxswains can see what the rowers are noticing and how they feel about certain aspects of their coxing. If one person says “steers a great course” it’s not nearly as much of a confidence boost as four people saying it is. Same goes for the negative comments – they might not take “doesn’t steer competitive courses” that seriously when it comes from one person but if six of their teammates say it then it holds a bit more weight.

The “things to work on” section should be two (minimum) to four (maximum) bullet points based on all the pro/con/general comments. These really don’t take that much effort to come up with either. As you read through the comments you should easily be able to get a sense for what areas the rowers think they can or want them to improve on.

After putting all that together then you can go over it with your coxswains. When I sat down with ours I printed out their individual sheets so they could read the comments for themselves as we went over them and essentially just read through everything, pointed out anything that I thought was worth discussing and/or elaborating on, and got their thoughts on how they felt about the comments (did they agree/disagree with anything, have questions, etc.). We did this individually the first time but when we go over the most recent ones I think I’m going to do it as a group just because there’s only three of them and not as many individual nuances to discuss this time around.

The takeaway here is that coxswain evaluations should be a regular thing that you do at least twice per season (for comparison’s sake) and in order to maximize their effectiveness you, the coach, need to spend a few hours organizing them so that you can go directly to each coxswain and say “Here’s what your teammates said, here’s what we’d like to see you work on based on the feedback they’ve provided, let’s discuss…”. Don’t just give them a pile of papers and expect them to sort through all that themselves because they won’t do it (and I don’t blame them). Hell, you can outsource all your evals to me and I’ll organize them for you if it means you’ll actually do evals for your coxswains (…totally serious, by the way).

Related: Hey! So I’m a coxswain in high school and we (all the coxswains) want a coxswain evaluation/ranking from the rowers. Some coxswains feel like they should be in a different boat and we all want feedback from the rowers. How do we go about asking our coach about it?

After the first round of evals that we did all three of us (the coaches) noticed some major improvements in our coxswains so if you want proof that spending the time doing these and providing them with real information actually pays off, just look at the fall vs. winter averages in the first picture. I was a little skeptical initially because I didn’t think there was going to be much of a difference (mainly because I didn’t think the rowers would notice anything, not that I didn’t think our coxswains had improved) but I was really excited to see actual numerical data that backed up what we were seeing on the water.

Anyways, I hope all of this is helpful and encourages everyone to make coxswain evaluations a regular part of your seasonal plans. Coxswains, if your team hasn’t done evaluations before you should pose the idea to your coach(es) and show them the first tab of the Google Doc. If you have done evaluations but want to discuss some of the comments or get some additional feedback/insight, feel free to get in touch.

Image via // @mlcsrs_17

College Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

Hey, thanks for answering everyone’s questions on your blog! It is a really nice thing to do for the younger generation of rowers. Anyway, I’m a varsity coxswain on a student-run college club team and I’m getting to be fairly concerned about my 7-seat, who is the Team President. He handles almost all the administrative work for both the men’s and women’s side and in addition, he has to liaison with the university’s Rec Sports department, organize all the outside workouts, make the regatta travel plans, et cetera, et cetera. He spends hours and hours on the team every day, and this is on top of a really tough biology major too.

Although he puts on a brave face in public I feel like he’s starting to crack under the pressure. He’s a really nice person but his patience is just becoming shorter, he seems exhausted, and apparently his classes aren’t going well – he’s already to the point where he’s sure he’s failed one and is going to have to retake it next semester. I’m just a freshman, new to the team, and he’s a senior so I don’t want to step out of line. At the same time, however, I don’t want to watch a teammate become overwhelmed as a result of rowing and not do anything. If I talk to the coaches or directly confront him about delegating some of the workload I feel like it might be embarrassing or come off like I’m questioning his leadership. I don’t want to start any drama this early in my college rowing career but I don’t really see any other options to help the situation. What should I do?

I’d probably talk with him one-on-one and say that you really want to start taking a more vested interest in the behind the scenes stuff that goes along with running the team and wanted to know what little things you could take off his plate. In theory it should be the other board members that should be helping him out with this stuff so I wouldn’t try to take on any of the major responsibilities but little things that are email, paperwork, etc. related could be helpful.

I don’t think offering to help is out of line or anything but if he’s already stressed then I can definitely see how it might come off like you think he’s failing at his responsibilities or something. If he says no thanks or is weird about it then just say “OK no problem but if you do need help with stuff in the future, just let me know and I’m happy to do whatever”. Sometimes just making it known that you’re there if they need something can be beneficial, particularly for people that don’t like asking for help in the first place. I’m like that and I would much rather people just say they’re there if I need something, feel free to reach out, etc. rather than butting in and offering help when I haven’t asked for it or trying to solve the problem for me.

College High School Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

What are some good team bonding exercises to do at practice? Our novices are moving up to varsity and we are looking for ways to bring the two groups together. Thanks! Love your blog!

Check out the two posts linked below. They all touch on “team bonding” in one way or another so there might be some ideas in there that you can use. The “secret motivator” one was a ton of fun for everyone so I definitely recommend that one as you get farther into the season.

Related: Hi, we have states in two weeks and we have boat gifts – is this a sport-wide tradition? If so, what are good gifts to buy/make? Thanks a bunch.

When I coached at Marietta in the spring I was still trying to learn everyone’s names after about a week of being there and I noticed that a lot of the freshmen didn’t know any of the varsity girls names either so one day while they were warming up I had everyone get in a circle and go around one by one and say their name and grade. The catch was that you had to also say the names and grades of the people that went before you, which got progressively more amusing the farther around the circle we got. It was a good way to introduce everyone and break the ice, in addition to being a sneaky way for me to learn the names/grades of the people I didn’t know yet.

Related: I feel like I can’t really relate to any of the other girls on my team. I know that crew itself is really close-knit, but I can’t help but feel like there’s a huge separation from me and the rest of the rest of the team where I don’t really know how to associate with them and they don’t really know how to associate with me just because I’m friends with an entirely different group of people than they are. Any advice?

From there the “bonding” kind of happened on its own. Carpooling, boat dinners, traveling, silly activities like the name/grade thing, etc. all facilitated some of it but I’ve always been of the opinion that you can’t really force stuff like that, you’ve just kinda gotta let it happen naturally. If people are friendly and make an active effort to get to know one another then the two groups will merge into one pretty quickly.

Coxing How To Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

How do you suggest becoming comfortable making calls? I was recently moved for the women’s V4+ to our men’s V8+ and I don’t really feel my place in the boat yet. I want to make meaningful calls, not unnecessary ones, and I don’t want to be silent. Today during pieces the guys asked for motivation but I felt like I sounded like a redundant cheerleader. My old girls obviously want different stuff than the guys and I’m having trouble being the mean, assertive cox the guys have asked me to be.

When you switch boats like that there’s definitely going to be an in-between period while you learn their personalities and get comfortable working with a different group of people. That period lasts a little longer when you go from coxing women to men because, like you said, both groups want/need different things and you’ll probably have to adjust your style a bit. At most though this should be like, a week and a half to two week long thing … not something that lasts for months on end. What’s going to help you get more comfortable is to make a serious and genuine effort to get to know the people you’re coxing and talking to them outside of practice to find out what they like to hear, what things their previous coxswain(s) did that they liked or responded well to, etc. and then finding ways to incorporate all of that into your own coxing.

You have to be assertive about it otherwise this probably isn’t going to be much fun for you … and coxing guys is a lot of fun if you approach it with the right attitude. If you think it’s going to be awkward, you’re intimidated by them, or you think they’re gonna think you’re weird or incompetent for asking then you’re only making things more difficult for yourself. Just approach them, speak up, and say “Hey, so obviously I’m the new person in the boat and I need your help getting up to speed. *whips out pen + paper* Tell me some things that you guys have been working on, what calls you like, etc. so I can start tailoring my calls to the boat” [and then write them down because if you don’t you will forget and that’ll put you right back at square one].

Related: TED talks, body language, and … coxing?

Also, check out the post linked above. It’s long but so worth reading and watching the video when you have time. It has nothing to do with making calls or anything like that but the whole premise of the talk might help with you becoming more confident in general which will translate into being more comfortable coxing your new boat.

Interview with 2004 M8+ Gold Medalist Coxswain Pete Cipollone

College Coxing High School Racing Rowing Teammates & Coaches

Interview with 2004 M8+ Gold Medalist Coxswain Pete Cipollone

Back in July I got an email from Jeremiah Brown, one of Canada’s silver medalists in the men’s eight from London asking if I’d be interested in reading and reviewing the book he’s been working on, “The Four Year Olympian“. It chronicles his journey from being a complete novice to making the Olympic podium in less than four years after picking up the sport. Yea … less than four years. Can you imagine doing that?

As I was reading through his book there were a couple sections that stuck out to me where he mentioned how when times were tense during training, he and the rowers would dish out a lot of abuse to their coxswain, Brian Price. Swearing at him, blaming him for things beyond his control, etc. – you guys all know what I mean because at some point or another in the last two years you’ve emailed me or messaged me on Tumblr trying to figure out how to handle those exact same situations.

Related: Video of the Week: Lessons on leadership from Canadian national team coxswain, Brian Price

This got me thinking … if elite level coxswains are dealing with this, maybe it would help you guys out to hear from them and read about how they handled being put in that position. So, I reached out to Pete to get his insight and see what advice he had to offer.

Here’s part of the email I sent to give you a bit more insight into why I wanted to do this:

“Hey! So I’m wondering if I could possibly persuade you to help me with a project I’m working on. Jeremiah Brown, from Canada’s ’12 M8+, wrote a book on how he made the Olympic 8+ and asked me to check it out before it got sent over to the publishers. While reading it, I had the idea to contact some national team coxswains that have been through the rigors of Olympic training and get their thoughts on how they handled taking the abuse of their rowers when tensions were high.

Jerry mentioned how they treated Brian like a “whipping boy” when things weren’t going so great, which actually surprised me because I didn’t think that that would be something you’d have to deal with at that level. I think I just assumed that by the time you reach that point in your career you’re mature enough or have developed good enough coping mechanisms to not have to take your frustrations out on other people.

It was encouraging though at the same time because I get a lot of similar questions from younger or newer coxswains that read my blog and want to know how to handle the rowers who feel like the only way to blow off steam is to blame them for every little thing that goes wrong. I think it would be helpful/reassuring for them to hear that it’s not something that’s exclusive to just high school rowing – coxswains at every level experience it and have to figure out how to work through it while maintaining positive working relationships with their teammates.”

Since there’s a tendency to hear the same regurgitated or long-winded replies that lack any substance (am I right or am I right…), I tried to put together questions that I haven’t seen be asked before so that the answers would be fresh and hopefully relatable, regardless of whether you’re just starting out or midway through your collegiate career. I hope you find this helpful and enjoy reading through it!

When tensions in the crew were at their highest, how did the guys treat you? Was there ever a point where you were the target of their frustration? (Side question, when during the Olympic cycle was everyone on-edge the most? Was it during the selection period, in the lead-up to the Olympics…?)

“The most tense time was always mid-spring of the Olympic year. By that point everyone had invested a whole lot of themselves and it was becoming clear who would make it, who would not, and who was right on the cut line. The athletes on the line had it worst, since, perhaps oddly, their fate was mostly out of their hands. All they could do was try to stay cool, pull their asses off, and hope things broke their way. The top athletes were focused on getting faster and staying healthy. The “cuts” were looking forward to pair trials and going to the shore with their girlfriends after it was all over.

As for me, I was always treated as an integral part of the team. The only time I caught any heat from the guys was if I made a mistake, or if some random new guy just blew a gasket in a moment of frustration. If I made a mistake, I owned it, apologized and resolved never to do it again.  The guys held me to the same standards that they held themselves. Obviously, they were not happy with any miscue, but I think they respected the fact that I gave it everything and did not make excuses when I came up short. In the other case, new guys who could not take the heat had short half-lives. Teti definitely selected for composure under pressure. The more someone got wound up, the more Mike would push his buttons. There was a dark humor to it, and those guys either figured out they were getting played, or they blew up.”

If there was ever a point where the rowers started directing their frustration towards you, was that something that you shut down right away or something you just brushed aside since you knew it was the frustration of training talking and not so much the rowers personal feelings coming out?

It was really situational. If I got called out for substandard performance, then I took responsibility for it. If it was someone blowing off steam, I usually made fun of them and reminded them to lighten up. That works well as long as you have their respect and your response does not hit too close to home. People have a chuckle and everyone gets back to business.

There were certain times, usually when tensions were already high, where I would be the go-between for the athletes and the coaches, delivering messages no one wanted to hear. In those times, no one was really happy with me. It was the least fun part of the process, but my role was to help us win, not to be buddies or blow sunshine.

For example, one day Mike wanted to do race pieces for the third day in a row. I knew the guys were already tapped out. Mike asked me if the crew was all jacked up for timed pieces and I told him, no, they were exhausted but would throw everything into the workout and then go home to crash.  At first he was miffed, but he countered with, “If you guys break X time in the first piece, the workout is over.” We beat the time, and I think he said, “Let’s just do one more short piece flat out.”  Then the workout was really over. We ended up doing less than half of the planned distance, but it worked out.

Being truthful and direct in those interactions is not only the right thing to do. Over time I learned it was also a competitive advantage, even if it meant telling a good friend something awful, like “No, I don’t think you have a path from here to make the team,” or “Athlete X is injured but won’t tell you.”  They remember and appreciate that you leveled with them.

When a rower or the crew as a whole was having an off day what was your strategy, if you had one, for getting things back on track and getting the crew re-focused without getting an onslaught of criticism, emotions, etc. thrown at you? Did Teti ever get involved or were you expected to handle it on your own?

My teammates and I occasionally got what Bryan Volpenhein called “the shanks.” Sometimes the only cure was time. We just had to ride it out, and we relied on one another to help us recover. If someone had a really strong track record of winning, Teti would cut them some slack where they had time to rehab themselves. My role there was to help them get back on form as quickly and with as little drama as possible…unless I was the one with the shanks, which did happen once or twice.

If a whole crew was getting slaughtered, I would try to break things down into the smallest possible unit of achievable progress and then drive them toward that. It might be things like “let’s be first off line on the next piece,” or “no matter where we are, let’s neutralize the other crew’s move and then sell it to move on them.” Even if we still lost the piece, even a little win can spur some confidence. A couple athletes in the crew get fired up and that becomes contagious. It takes persistence to find something that lights a spark, but that strategy worked better than any of the others I tried.

Teti never missed a trick, and if a crew was having a bad day, he would give us some time to get it together. A big, common goal was to figure it out before Mike decided you needed his help. If things got that far, you were entering a world of pain.

How did you avoid having “the shanks” interfere with your coxing, particularly on days when everyone was having an off day and tensions were high all around? If there was an instance where it did interfere, did you handle it the same way as before (taking responsibility when someone called you out) or a different way?

As the cox, when you have the shanks, you have to do your best to minimize the impact on the crew, and get yourself back on track as quickly as possible. My version of the shanks was magically forgetting how to go straight. In Teti’s system, going straight was the coxswain’s job #1. It is difficult and you have to practice it. When the shanks happened I would go to as much “silent time” as the crew could handle, and focus my attention on getting my mechanics back. If we were doing pieces, I had drills for myself, namely, taking my hands completely off the ropes and putting them on the outsides of the gunwales. My aim was to get myself back together as quickly as I could, which meant not panicking.

If the whole crew is having a bad day, the cox is expected to lead the crew out of it, or at at a minimum, get them focused on some relevant aspect of rowing. If you can do that, you can mitigate the damage, and then you just take your lumps. It is not personal. It is what happens when you underperform. Accept that you had a crap outing, lick your wounds and put it behind you, then come back for the next row ready to go.

What’s your strategy/advice to keep tense situations from escalating to the point where the rowers go off on the easiest target (usually their coxswain) and/or for preventing it from happening in the first place? Does it really all go back to simple mutual respect for your teammates?

Respect and trust are such huge parts of coxing. If you don’t have those things with your crew, you are a sitting duck. But they must be earned over time. Working hard on coxing fundamentals and being the person who looks out for the well-being of your athletes goes a long way. By looking out, I mean helping them get faster. If the coach has identified flaws in their rowing, work with the athletes to fix them as quickly and calmly as possible. Calm athletes can make changes. Tense people cannot.

I don’t think it is possible to completely avoid getting hammered by the athletes every now and again. What is possible is to build that respect and trust so the rowers know they have their own work to do before coming after someone else, namely the cox.

What advice do you have for junior/collegiate coxswains who may be dealing with rowers who feel like the only way to blow off steam is to blame them for every little thing that goes wrong, keeping in mind that younger coxswains tend to have a harder time maintaining a poker face and not giving in to how the rowers’ treatment makes them feel? At what point do you feel it’s gone past being something they could/should handle on their own and instead needs to be brought to the coach’s attention?

Be honest with yourself, and take athletes’ comments seriously, but not to heart. The former is a behavior change any aspiring champion must embrace; the latter is hard, since emotions form a huge part of our initial reactions and they generally run hot.

When they challenge your coxing, come right back and ask: “What can I do better? How should I do it? Coach me and I will work my ass off to improve.”  If you take criticism seriously, you train your athletes to give only serious criticism. If you are willing to be coached – which intrinsically means accepting that your coxing is not perfect – and can show that you can make improvements, too, you will get massive respect points. From first principles, racing is about going as fast as you possibly can. Winning is just a byproduct of that. Starting here, getting coached (even harshly) and making changes are simply parts of the process.

Going back to my first answer, there is a difference between the national team and youth/college programs. In our case, the coach ruthlessly weeded out temperaments that would be liabilities at Worlds and the Olympics. Most other programs do not have that luxury, since they need the butts in seats or the massive erg score that occasionally comes with an outsized ego. If something is bothering you with one of the athletes, then my suggestion is to address it one-on-one first, as above – find out what the beef is and see if you can make an improvement. If that does not work, ask a respected crewmate to help you work it out with the person. If it escalates to the coach, you have a major problem. One of you is likely gone, and unfortunately the cox usually loses out.  Our job is to glue the team together and lead them. If we cannot do that, someone else will at least get a chance at it.

If there are any rowers and coaches reading this, let me point out that rowers improve faster than coxswains, especially early on. Think of how often second-year rowers make the varsity. I bet you know of several. Now think of some second-year coxswains who made the varsity. Probably not too many. The right answer to this is to coach your coxswains as rigorously as you coach your athletes. Don’t just rely on someone figuring it out on their own.  It’s not complicated and pays dividends as the season progresses toward championship racing.

That last paragraph is really important and definitely something that I hope coaches take into consideration. It also reiterates the point I’ve been making for the last two years that you have to coach your coxswains and give them the tools to succeed just as you do with the rowers.

I hope you guys enjoyed that and as I said earlier, are able to taking something away from it that you can incorporate into how you work with your crews. If you’ve got any questions or a follow-up on something that was discussed, feel free to comment below or shoot me an email.

Pete, thanks again so much for your support and your help with this!

Image via // World Rowing

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

What is the best way to deal with people leaving your team? I have talked with a couple of my teammates lately and they have told me that they are not returning to the team this coming fall. I want to be supportive of their decision, but I’m still upset. Any advice?

Honestly? Just accept it and move on. It’s fine to be upset that you won’t get to spend as much time together but it’s not fair to project that on to them because the situation’s not about you. I’ve found that you very rarely ever know the full story as to why someone decided to quit so you kinda just have to accept that this is the decision they’ve made and then go about your business as usual. Personally I think the best way to show your support is to keep any negative feelings to yourself and say “we’ll have to make plans to do something whenever we’re all free” … and then actually make those plans. Things only get awkward when people say they’re gonna hang out and then keep finding reasons/making excuses not to.

College High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

Our team has gotten really close these past couple weeks and I’m really going to miss everyone who is leaving next year. What is the best way to bond with my team before the end of the season?

Go to someone’s house and have a biiig bonfire cookout or something. If you’re in college, bring beer. If you’re not in college, bring root beer.

Seriously though, the best thing you can do is really appreciate the time you spend together when you’re at practice, traveling to regattas, etc. It might not feel like you’re bonding because you’re not doing a specific “bonding activity” but when you look back on it you’ll realize that that one hilarious conversation you had in the hotel or that great race you had last week was one of the defining moments of your friendship(s) and time together as teammates.

High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

Hi, we have states in two weeks and we have boat gifts – is this a sport-wide tradition? If so, what are good gifts to buy/make? Thanks a bunch.

I wouldn’t say it’s a sport-wide tradition, rather it’s more of a “if your team does it, cool, if not, whatever” kind of thing. My team does something similar to this called “secret motivators” where each girl is assigned another girl to buy a fun gift for before each regatta. Sometimes they find out who their person is early on but I don’t think anyone is supposed to know until the end of the season. At the beginning of the season one of the seniors gave everyone on the team a “survey” to fill out where they listed why they joined the team, what motivates them, what music/TV shows/movies they like, what their favorite things are, etc. so that the person who was assigned them had an idea of what kind of things they might like.

It’s hilarious watching everyone open their gifts because it’s like Christmas morning every week – wrapping paper, gift bags, and tissue paper litter the ground regardless of where we are. The creativity that some of the girls have is pretty impressive too. Some of the things I’ve seen people get so far are baseball hats that say “crew” on them (Headsweats are a team favorite), SpiderMan coloring books, their favorite food or candy (jars of peanut butter + their own spoon seem to be popular), fun patterned sport bras, crew or team-inspired artwork, water bottles, etc. I’d say 98% of the stuff that’s given though has nothing to do with rowing (Disney princess bath soap or miniature stuffed animals, for example) but it’s all done in good fun and the goal is to just perk everyone up a bit before a regatta. Just from asking around I think the average amount that people spend each week is $10-$20, although for the first race of the season and most likely for the bigger regattas at the end of the season, people tended to spend (or will spend) a little bit more.

Don’t over think it and just have fun with it! It’s a great way to get to know other people on the team better and promote team bonding.