Tag: teammates

Coxing How To Racing Teammates & Coaches

How to cox a seat race

By readyallrow April 1, 2014

I’ve talked a bit about seat racing before but haven’t ever gone over how coxswains fit into the picture. Our role is very limited in what we’re allowed to do but at the same time we have the ability to drastically effect the outcome of a race, more often for the negative than the positive.

Seat racing day is usually one where tensions run very high for the rowers, especially when the seats being decided are for the top boat, a big regatta, etc. The number one responsibility of the coxswain is to be impartial and ensure that the races are run fairly. The coaches and rowers (most especially the rowers…) rely on us to not overstep our boundaries or give anyone an unfair advantage over another rower and it’s our job to put personal preferences, friendships, etc. aside and let the rowers determine who wins the seat.

Related: Words

There are a lot of factors that go into seat racing but this post is just about the responsibilities of the coxswain on race day.

Things you SHOULD do

DO meet with the coach(es) before practice to go over the logistics for the day. Have your notebook handy so you can write down whatever instructions the coaches give you. The most important details you need to find out are what the warm up is (it may or may not be different than your usual one but whatever it is, both coxswains must do the same exact thing), where you’ll be meeting to start the piece, and the starting time of the first race. You should treat this like any regular race day where you have to be locked onto your stake boat 2 minutes prior to your race. Don’t put yourself (or your crew) in a position where you have to frantically get up to the starting line.

DO find out how the lane-switching will work. Typically you switch back and forth so that each crew has an equal opportunity to race in both lanes – consider this nothing more than quality control to ensure the fairness of each piece. It’s important for you to know what lane you’ll be starting in and which one you’ll be switching into at the end of each piece and then for you to actually do that before you get to the starting line.

DO know the length of the rest time following each piece and what the centers are. Centers are the amount of time between the starting time of each race. For example, if your coach says that you’ll be running on 30 minute centers starting at 2:30pm, that means the first race is at 2:30pm, the second is at 3pm, the third at 3:30pm, etc. Assuming you’re doing 1000m pieces that take four minutes to do, that means the amount of time you have between when you finish your race and when you need to be back up at the starting line to begin the next one is 26 minutes. At the end of each piece there will be a rest period where you’ll weight enough and the rowers can get water and make their switches. You (ideally) won’t know who is switching in and out until the coaches tell you but in the grand scheme of things, that’s irrelevant. All you need to do is keep an eye on the time.

DO be quick and efficient about pulling the boats together so the rowers can switch boats. If this isn’t something you’ve done before, try practicing it with another coxswain if you find yourselves sitting around not doing anything while you wait for your coach to get out. It’s really not that hard to do but you can’t spend five minutes trying to do it either. The easiest way to do it is for you to gently point your bow towards the other crew and the row over to them (lightly by pairs). Stop when the bow pairs oars are close enough to the stern pair of the other crew that they can reach out, grab the blade, and pass it back to their bow pair. The two crews can then lift their oars up and pull them across the shells to bring the boats together. Check out the video below of some UCLA fours seat racing to see how the coxswains bring the crews together. (If it doesn’t start automatically, skip ahead to the 7:00 mark.)

DO carry your notebook, pen/pencil, wrench, some spare band aids, and maybe some extra spacers out on the boat with you, just in case. If it’s a particularly hot day, also consider carrying a spare water bottle with you to give to the rowers if they run out.

DO know what you are and aren’t allowed to say. 99.999999999% of the time, coxswains aren’t (and shouldn’t be) allowed to say anything more than the stroke rate and the time/distance. If during a normal sprint racing you are talking 98% of the time, during a seat race you should be silent 98% of the time. When I’ve coxed seat races I would tell the crew the stroke rate every 30-45 seconds, point out 250, 500m, and 750m, and let the crew know the time (i.e. 1 minute down, 2 minutes down, etc.). All of that was regulated by the coach too – I didn’t just randomly decide to say those things or when to say them, I was told to give that information and only that information at specific times during the piece (usually 1000m pieces). You cannot cox them at all. No motivation, no technique, no moves, nothing. In the boat, the most important thing you have to stay on top of is making sure the stroke rate stays consistent and doesn’t surpass whatever cap the coach has given you. If the cap is no lower than 28spm and no higher than 30spm, it’s your job to communicate with your stroke if he/she is under or over that. The only thing you can do to get the stroke rate back in that range if it’s outside of it is to keep reading off the numbers until they get it where it needs to be. You can’t cox or coach them on how to get it there. (In any other situation you should not do this. Seat racing is the only time when reading off stroke rates like this is OK.)

DO write down the times/stroke rates from your cox box during the rest period if your coach asks you to.

DO consult with the coach at the end of practice to go over the results. Be objective with what you say too – remember, your number one responsibility is to ensure the fairness of the races. Give them feedback on how each boat moved with the addition and removal of each of the rowers and also let them know if anything happened that might have effected the outcome. This includes steering issues (i.e. having to steer to avoid hitting a log in the water, just steering poorly on that piece, etc.), a crew rowing outside the rate cap, not being even at the start, etc. If you steered poorly you must be honest about it and say that you didn’t hold a good point on the third piece so that the coach can factor that into the results if necessary. If your crew lost a close race but you fail to mention that you also steered an entire lane off of where you should have been, you might have just cost that rower their seat in the boat.

DO steer straight and stay in your lane. This is a great opportunity for you to really focus on holding and maintaining a point in a race situation because you’re going to spend the majority of the piece not talking, thus you have little to nothing to distract you.

DO communicate with the other coxswain(s). This is important on a normal day but it’s even more important when you’re seat racing. Keep the crews together, start your warm ups together, etc. There are few things more irritating to a coach than telling his coxswains to stay together only to get out there and see one crew rowing up in lane 1 and the other rowing up in lane 5 or one crew three lengths ahead of the other. Another thing you need to communicate on is maintaining the spacing between the crews. If you’re in your own lanes and steering straight this shouldn’t be an issue but you need to get any issues like this squared away before you start rowing down to the starting line. Most of the time you just row into these pieces rather than taking a start, which means coming down to the starting line together so you can both cross the line together, at the same time, is critical. If the two crews don’t start at the same time then the validity of the piece is now in question. If you’re rowing down and see that your crew is half a length ahead with 100m to the line, don’t be a jerk and force the other crew to power it up just to get even with you. Either tell your crew to back off or throw in a pause or two until you’re even. If you’re the coxswain of the crew that’s down, do whatever you’ve gotta do to get your crew even. Call over to the other coxswain to lighten up and then get on your crew to pull you up next to them.

Things you SHOULDN’T do

DO NOT give the rowers any information about how they did, how the piece felt, where the boat finished, how the coach made his final decisions, etc. ever (unless the coach has given you expressed permission to do so … which they probably won’t). This includes on the water, after practice, next month, etc. Fair, objective, and impartial, remember? This means not giving the rowers any indication that they did better or worse than someone else. They can see where they finish, they know how the boat feels, thus they can come to their own conclusions on how they did. If the coach wants them to know any of that info then they can tell themselves when they let them know the final results. The bottom line is don’t say or do anything that could compromise the integrity of the practice.

Feel free to comment below with any do’s and/or don’ts that you think coxswains should know regarding seat racing that I might have missed.

College High School Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow February 1, 2014

My team is going to start a big/little program between the varsity girls and novice girls this spring. When we do the big/little reveal, we want to give gifts to our littles! Obviously this isn’t a sorority, so we’re not giving them paddles or anything like that, but do you have any suggestions for things we could put into gift baskets? Thanks!!!

That’s awesome!! We didn’t do this when I was in crew but we did when I was in band and it was so much fun. The big brothers/sisters would always write notes to our littles at band camp and before all our competitions, basically saying we were proud of them, making sure to touch on any big hurdles they’d overcome or major improvements they’d made, etc. It was one of the best traditions we had. I actually just found all the notes I got from my big sister from my freshman year and it was so fun going back and reading them and remembering all the silly inside jokes we had.

That could be something that all the varsity girls do for the novices – each varsity girl writes something for each novice and then you can compile them into individual book-like-things for each girl, that way they’ve got 10-15 (or however many) letters just for them. Keep it short, simple, sweet, and fun – let them know you’re excited to have them on the team, note something that you hope to see happen this year, recall a similar experience that you went through so she knows that she’s not the only one experiencing this issue, remind them that teamwork makes the dream work (or whatever other silly cliche phrase you wanna throw out there), etc. Bonus points for brightly colored construction paper, markers, stickers, and glitter. Bitches love stickers and glitter.

The other thing that we did that has been a tradition for like, 30+ years I think, is each new member of the band would get a brick. Our band was pretty big and with each member standing side by side we could nearly reach end zone to end zone during our shows. This resulted in our band being nicknamed “The Wall of Sound” (from Phil Spector’s wall of sound, if you know anything about music production/engineering) because when everyone would line up like that and then march forward it was a literal wall of sound coming towards you. Now, from that comes the bricks. Each member was considered a brick in the wall (a nod to Pink Floyd) in that without one of the bricks, the wall would crumble. So, during the summer after we’d started rehearsals, the upperclassmen would get together with a load of bricks, one for each freshman, and they’d stack them up on top of each other to create a wall-like formation. On one side they’d spray paint the band’s logo across all the bricks and then on the other side they’d paint each person’s name on an individual brick. We were then given our bricks by our big brother/sister and were “officially” considered to be part of The Wall. I still have my brick and consider it to be just as important as all the medals I’ve won from crew.

My point with that story is that you could also include something that shows them that they’re “officially” a part of the team. For us, it really drove home the message of how it’s about the bigger picture and how that bigger picture can’t be achieved without the contributions, dedication, and passion of each person. It’s the same with crew.

Another idea is if you’ve got a parent who knows their way around a wood shop or you’ve got some artistically inclined rowers, you could make each rower their own mini replica blade, sort of like this. If someone can make a bunch of plain ones from wood then the varsity girls can paint them with your team’s colors and then present them to the novices. Alternatively, you can make them out of modeling clay too. (I’ve done it, it’s super easy). Just draw out a template, roll out the clay, use a X-Acto knife to cut it out, and then bake it.

You could include something that you wouldn’t have survived without when you were a novice. I remember talking about this with my friends once. One wouldn’t have survived without a really thick, warm pair of wool socks, another wouldn’t have survived without the granola bars her mom had waiting in the car for her after practice (because she was always starving), another said DVDs for the 5+ hour bus rides we took every week when we’d travel … stuff like that. I’d have probably given my little a bunch of Hot Hands and an ear warmer. If someone has a coxswain for their little sister, get them a notebook and a pack of pencils. (Hint hint nudge nudge, this is a great present for novice coxswains.) If you’ve got stickers or car decals with your team’s logo on them, throw some of those in there too. Another thing you could get if you could find them relatively cheap enough is water bottles, that way everyone always has one and you can minimize waste by not having plastic ones lying around the boathouse. Don’t count out the practical stuff either, like rubber bands for their hair, band-aids, cough drops, etc.

Last idea: a blanket! My warmest, most favorite blanket that I own is one that I got from crew. It’s fleece and is orange on one side and black on the other (our school colors). They are literally the easiest things to make in the world and don’t require any sewing abilities whatsoever. I’m actually shocked that mine is still completely in tact considering it went to every regatta, then to college, and then everywhere else I’ve gone over the last twelve years.

College Coxing High School Novice Rowing Teammates & Coaches

Teachable moments

By readyallrow January 23, 2014

Yesterday someone posted a thread on Reddit titled “Things I Wish Novices Knew” and when I read it I ended up having a much different reaction than I thought I would. Maybe it’s because I’ve been around the sport for awhile, maybe it’s because I talk to so many novices on here, I don’t know. I cringe at the thought that maybe it’s just because I’m getting older but I’m starting to lean more towards finding the teachable moments in situations like this rather than just reading what’s written, closing the tab, and quietly moving on.

I posted a really long response to the original post (unintentionally, to be honest…) and got a couple emails from people asking me to post it on here because they thought it was “good advice that I wish my teammates would listen to” and “I know several people on my D1 team that need a reminder of how to treat/work with novices if they want them to stick around”. Another person asked “Can you please post this on your blog? I don’t think many of my teammates are on Reddit but I know many of them, including a couple of our coaches, read your blog and this is something I think they should all read. None of them would take it seriously if I brought it up (I’m a junior in high school) but I know they will if they see if on your blog.”.

Here’s the original post:

And here’s my reply:

“OK, I’m going to play devil’s advocate here and say that instead of just posting all this stuff on Reddit and snarking on the noobs because they’re all complacent about, well, everything, maybe actually spend some time discussing all this stuff with them. Like [username removed] said, regardless of whether or not this was what he/she actually meant, they just started and they’re still learning. The upperclassmen when we were novices probably/definitely felt the same way about us as we do about the novices right now. There’s no excuse though to not spend the time teaching them all this stuff. And maybe you are, who knows, but if you’re doing it through various offhand, easy-to-ignore conversations or pissed off diatribes before or after practice, your message isn’t getting across.

If they aren’t used to participating in a sport, let alone one that says “fuck the elements” like crew does, they ARE going to assume that on certain days you won’t have practice because of the weather. That’s what NORMAL people do. They see that it’s foggy and think “I can barely see across the street, there’s no way we’ll be on the water today” or “It’s basically hurricane-ing outside, we can’t row in this”. That’s a NORMAL reaction for someone who hasn’t done crew before. You can say “don’t assume we won’t have practice” but part of them always will, at least for the first year.

Instead of having issues with people missing practice, why not have someone send a text to the novices (or everyone) in the morning if the weather looks iffy and say “practice is on, see you in an hour at the boathouse” or “fog’s pretty thick this morning, we’ll be in the erg room on campus at 7:30am”. I know it might seem like you’re holding their hand and making them less responsible but in situations like this, communication is key. Assuming that someone is going to assume something and then getting pissed when they assume the opposite of what you want them to assume is pretty messed up on your end.

If you want them to respect the boat, have them help you fix it when something happens to it so they can see how much time and effort goes into repairing the damage they caused or contributed to. If you’re a club, ask them contribute to the repair costs if they snapped off a fin or lost all the nuts and bolts to one of the riggers. Just saying it’s worth more than your tuition literally means nothing. It’s a fun fact you can tell people at the beginning of the year but after that, no one cares. I can pretty much guarantee you that the only time you start thinking about how much your tuition actually is is six months after graduation when you get your first student loan payment in the mail.

Saying the boat has won more championships than you is a real asshole thing to say, plain and simple. I bet the boat you row in has won more championships than you too but again, that doesn’t really mean anything. All it does is make them feel less a part of the team and lower on the totem pole than they already do/are. Don’t say shit like that to people who are new to the sport if you want them to stick around.

If you want them to go to bed on time, talk to them about time management. How do you manage your schedule? Give them actual examples instead of just repeating the same shit they hear from their parents, teachers, and advisers. Don’t just say “you’ve gotta be awake for practice”. Yea well, no shit. There’s a difference between being awake and being awake and they’re most likely going with the definition of awake that says “my eyes are open” instead of the one that says “my eyes are open and I’m firing on all cylinders”. Explain to them how just having your eyes open doesn’t count as being awake and why it’s important for everyone to be fully coherent at practice because at the very least, it’s a safety issue if they’re not.

If they say they’re having trouble getting all their homework done because they’re having difficulty understanding the material they’re learning in one of their engineering classes, say “oh, Andrew took that class when he was a freshman too and did pretty well in it … you should ask him for help and see if you guys can get together sometime”. If they’re working on a really big paper, offer to proofread or help them edit it. If they’re terrible at math and struggling with their calculus class, hook them up with the person on your team who just happens to have been a TA for that class last semester.

Even if you did everything all by yourself your entire way through college not everyone is like that and sometimes people need help but have a hard time asking for it. If you want to earn their respect as a teammate, be there for them OUTSIDE of practice, not just when you’re at the boathouse. Offer to help them when you can see they need it. Stuff like this will not only help them understand the close-knit feeling that being on a crew team has but it’ll also help them get their work done, stay on top of their classes, and go to bed (hopefully) at a slightly more reasonable hour.

Tuning out, goofing off, etc. is to be expected until you help/make them understand that they are ONE boat, not five or nine individuals. In order for the boat to run smoothly, everyone’s gotta be on the same page. If you’re that one person who is on page 3 while everyone else is on page 5, the boat will be effected. If you can see that they’re tuned out, figure out why. Don’t just brush them off. Engage them, ask them how the boat feels to them, what’s something they’re having trouble with, how does what we worked on yesterday feel today, DUDE your catch timing looks so much better than it did last week, oh, your back’s hurting and that’s why you aren’t focused? well, your posture’s not great right now so let’s fix that and see if it helps. Stuff like that.

Make sure each member of the crew (including the coxswain) gets an equal amount of attention, regardless of how big someone’s issues are compared to someone else. Don’t give them the chance to goof off or tune you out because if they see it, they’ll take it if they’re that kind of person. You, the coach, and the other rowers might know that they’re fucking around but until one of you steps up and addresses it or finds out the root cause, it’s going to keep happening.

To an extent, I don’t disagree with you on having a healthy fear of the sport. I do disagree with what you said about how it will help you avoid things. People new to the sport (or any sport, really) don’t understand that healthy fear the way we do. All they hear is the word “fear” and think “this is something I should be afraid of” and then they become scared of those things. What happens when you’re scared of things? You become meek, timid, and do everything you can to avoid being out-pulled, running into things, catching crabs, etc.

In the boat, you know what that translates to? Pulling harder than you’re capable of right now which leads to you getting injured. As a coxswain, you become over-zealous with the steering leading you to zig zag across the water or you firmly plant yourself smack in the middle of the river so that you’re far, far away from anything that might impede your path, traffic patterns be damned.

With catching crabs, you try to avoid catching them by fighting the handle which either a) gives you a really sore ribcage for a few days or b) throws you out of the boat, which then causes copious amounts of embarrassment that makes you question whether or not you want to keep doing crew. As a novice, is being out-pulled that high on the priority list? No. Learning the stroke and developing good technique should be WAY above anything involving power. If you want to worry about being out-pulled when you’re just starting out, go join CrossFit. The douchebro attitude you’ll develop and the injuries you’ll sustain will be the exact same. You’re most likely all gonna be in the freshman/novice boats anyways so it’s not like there’s going to be THAT much individual competition.

If you want them to worry about not hitting things, have an experienced coxswain walk them out of the boathouse and down to the water with the novice coxswain beside them so that they can see the path of least resistance that they should take when going out/coming in. Remind them that the equipment is precious and they should treat it as such. That’s all you have to say. Have your experienced coxswains explain how to steer the boat, what to do if they get in various less-than-ideal situations, etc. and then put them in a boat of experienced rowers so that if something DOES happen they’ll at least have knowledgeable people on hand to help them out. If they hit something because they don’t know how to use the equipment because YOU as the coach/experienced teammate didn’t THOROUGHLY teach them how to use it, that’s on you WAY more than it is on them and you HAVE to understand that.

Telling them to be afraid of something is going to do the exact opposite of what you want. Instead of saying “have a healthy fear so you can avoid all these things” explain to them that these are things you should always be conscious of so that you can always be striving to improve. Let the thought of catching a crab MOTIVATE you to really work on your technique so that crabs don’t happen. This will lead to all of those issues becoming less-than-likely to occur because you’ve developed the necessary skills that allow you to avoid them with no effort.

Raising the hands, lowering the blades, etc. is just something that you’ll have to keep explaining to them until it sinks in. I’ve worked with enough novices to know that they think the handle is everything, so if you say “lower the blade” they’ll put their hands down instead of the blade. Come up with some drills or something that will help them distinguish the two. You could do something like a basic catch drill at the finish and have them say “blade” when the blade goes in/hands go up and “hands” when the blade comes out/hands go down. I donno. Do the thing where all the starboards put their hands on the gunnels and all the ports lift their hands up to their faces, then switch, then have them figure out how to balance it on their own. Once they’ve got it, ASK THEM what they did to fix it and how did they know that’s what they needed to do. The more you engage them instead of just talking at them the better they’ll understand and the more focused they’ll be come.

Novices drive me insane so it’s not like I don’t understand how you feel. I’ve been in your position as a coxswain and a coach many times. I’d pick an experienced crew over them any day but working with them has taught me a lot of things that we tend to forget the more experienced we become. 10+ years of coxing more and more experienced crews made me complacent about a lot of the basic stuff. It wasn’t until I started coaching novices that I had to really go back and think about each individual step so that I could break everything down into individual parts so that they’d understand what I was trying to communicate. You really do have to spell out everything for them in the beginning. Is it time consuming and kinda annoying? Obviously, but it pays off in the end.

I’m one of the most impatient people on the planet and I get frustrated very easily when things that seem like common sense to me appear not to be to other people. With novices, everything we think is common sense isn’t to them. You have to be patient and work with them but I promise you that when it clicks and they finally get it, you experience a really rewarding sense of accomplishment, not only for them but for yourself too.

As much as I enjoy snarking on novices for the silly things they say and do (and man, do they say and do some seriously snark-worthy things…), ultimately that doesn’t do anything to help them get better. If they’re (hopefully) working hard to get better we should be working just as hard to help get them develop their skills and become competitive athletes. You most likely had someone like that when you were a novice so now it’s your responsibility to go be that person for someone else.”

I won’t elaborate any more on this since I think I covered everything pretty well already but what I hope you guys will take away from this is what I said in the last paragraph. That doesn’t mean you have to stop getting amusement out of the things novices do – I know I never will – but at least guide them towards the right way of doing things instead of just posting about it on the internet.

Image via // @lucerneregatta

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow January 15, 2014

Our cox steered our boat into a tree today (the river has been high since the floods so there were strong currents; it’s not really her fault) but our coach had a proper go at her and said she should apologise to me (I was at bow) for being hit by a tree but I really don’t want to make a big deal of it as she’s my friend even outside of rowing. What should I do?

I’m all for keeping coxswains accountable when they make a mistake but there’s no need to make it a bigger deal than it is or make them feel worse than they already do (and trust me, if they’re a good coxswain who knows what they’re doing, they will feel bad). If your coach already said something to her then there’s a good chance that she feels a bit guilty that her friend got whacked by a tree, so if/when she apologizes just accept it and move on. Let her know that you know that the circumstances were a little out of her control so she (hopefully) did the best she could at the time. Accidents happen. If she’s got an otherwise good track record as far as steering goes, chalk this one up to factors outside her control and let that be the end of it. Keep things lighthearted but reserve the right to bring up “that time you steered us into a tree and I got a branch to the back of the head” at least once a season for the rest of your time in school.

Coxing Novice Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow December 22, 2013

Hello Kayleigh! I was wondering how you view the relationship of a coxswain to rowers. My main problem is that I’m friends with a lot of rowers I cox and I don’t want to lose them as friends, but I also want there to be mutual respect. How do you deal with this? Thanks! AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!

I was friends with a lot of the people I coxed too. In the beginning there’s always a weird period where they’re like “why are you being so bossy, calm down” and/or you tell them to do something and they just laugh it off because who are you to tell them what to do? Eventually though, provided they’re not total asshats and you’re not doing your best impersonation of your favorite dictator, they’ll recognize that you’re just trying to do your job which is lead them, give them instructions, etc. If they want to succeed it means respecting, listening to, and working with the coxswains. If you want to succeed it means respecting, listening to, and working with the rowers. Similarly to what I told the person in the post below, you’ve got to lead others as you would like to be led.

I don’t think the relationship between friends has to change just because one of you is a coxswain and the others are rowers. If you guys have issues, you can’t let it interfere with what’s going on at practice. That requires maturity on both sides, regardless of who’s “right” or “wrong”. You’ve also got to establish early on that if they’re doing something that warrants being called out (like goofing off, being a distraction, not putting in the work, doing something incorrectly, etc.) you’re going to say something, not because you’re being a bitch or a shitty friend but because the coaches expect you to keep the rowers under control and it’s part of your responsibilities as a coxswain.

If someone gets annoyed just because you asked them to do something, they need to grow up. On the flip side, you can’t get pissed at them if they tell you that you’re being overbearing, overly bossy, etc. This is part of the mutual respect thing you mentioned. In order to be able to give criticism, constructive or not, you’ve got to be able to take it in return.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow November 15, 2013

Hi! I know you’ve addressed this situation already but I need a little more advice in this case. You talk about how a coxswain (me, sophomore) dating a rower (junior) is a bad idea but it’s already happening and has been for almost a year. The new recruit freshmen don’t know about it yet because we are trying to keep it as low-key and off-the-water as possible. I guess I’m looking for damage control tips. We have a lot of boat switch-ups through the season so we aren’t often in the same boat. If I have favoritism at all it’s for the rowers in my class year because I’ve worked so hard with them. How can I continue to show the team that this won’t negatively affect them? We generally just don’t talk about it.

If you don’t talk about it and are keeping it low key and off the water, why do you need to do damage control? I think I’m either missing something or you’re making a bigger deal out this than it is. You’re not required to tell them you’re dating. Granted, they probably already know because people talk but if they haven’t said anything they probably don’t care. They probably wouldn’t care even if you did tell them. The only time stuff like this becomes an issue is when it starts to show up at practice – you’re ignoring your responsibilities in favor of hanging out with them at practice, you’re showing unnecessary favoritism towards them, you start being overly passive aggressive towards each other if things start going poorly, etc. If none of this is happening, again, I’m not sure why damage control is necessary.

Is dating one of your rowers a good idea? Not usually. Is it possible if people are mature about it? Definitely. This is more often the case in college than it is in high school (because people are generally more mature in general) but it is possible.

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow November 13, 2013

What do you think about coxswain – coxswain romantic relationships?

The same as any other crew relationship – probably not the smartest idea (especially if you’re on the same team) but if you’re mature about it, obviously I’m sure you can make it work.

Related: Relationships tag

The same drama that comes up with other relationships can arise if things end poorly and in the end, it’s a distraction that no one wants to deal with. It’s even tougher with coxswains because we’ve gotta be able to work together and communicate on/off the water – if something inhibits that then it effects everyone else on the team. Plus, if you’re on the same team and competing for the same boats, that can also cause unnecessary tension. It’s your call obviously but whatever you decide to do, maturity has to win out over everything else.

Fuck coxes who think they can belittle their own teammates, and fuck them even more for doing so with no appreciation for what we're doing. We all play a part, and I'll be damned if any one of us is more important than the other.

College Teammates & Coaches

Suicide Awareness + Prevention

By readyallrow September 15, 2013

Yesterday morning about midway through practice the lightweight guys did an on-the-water “tribute” for suicide awareness and prevention. The lightweights started doing this last year after they were approached about getting involved with the group that was holding an awareness and prevention walk in the park on the other side of the inlet. They thought it would be cool to do something on the water so they had the middle four rowers take their oars out of the oarlocks and stand up in the boat.

This year they managed to get the bow 7 of the far left boat standing and the middle 6 of the other two. It was really cool to see and so funny to watch as they all carefully removed their oars and stood up. It was about 45-50 degrees outside so there was a lot of motivation to move as gingerly as possible so as to avoid falling in the water. I didn’t notice until we were finished but there was actually a good sized group of people on the shore watching us and clapping for the guys when they got everyone standing up. They all said thank you to those of us in the launches and seemed genuinely grateful for the guys’ contribution.

When I was a freshman at Syracuse in 2006 I think there was something like three suicides at Cornell/in Ithaca in the month of August alone. (The gorges are popular jumping spots.) It was really jarring because as a freshman in college, hearing about so many people taking such extreme measures to rid themselves of their problems made me really nervous about the next few years. Fast forward a few years to 2010 with all the suicides of teenagers and young adults because they were being bullied over their sexual orientation or typical teenage bullshit. Fast forward again just a few months and that was when I started hearing about people my age committing suicide at alarming rates because they were so overwhelmed by student loan debt and being unable to find a decent paying job. I still read articles about this and it scares the shit out of me because I relate to that stuff so hard.

I think the vast majority of people who read this blog are either in high school, are in college, or have just graduated and there’s a lot of shit that goes along with being at each one of those stages in life. If you see or suspect someone is having a hard time, offer your support. All it takes is just letting someone know they can talk to you if they ever need it and then actually being there when they need you.

If you see or hear someone bullying someone else, say something. Someone’s personal hardships, who they’re into, what they look like, etc. doesn’t make them cannon fodder. Sometimes people make really shitty decisions when they’re in a dark place – been there, done that – and more often than not it’s a call for help and having crass remarks directed towards them is not what they need. If you notice any of the warning signs of someone being suicidal, you have a responsibility to tell someone. That someone should be an adult – one of your coaches, a parent, a teacher, a counselor at school, etc. Do not just brush it off as them being dramatic or trying to get attention.

If you’re going through something, regardless of what it is or how big, small, or insignificant it seems, talk to someone. If you don’t think you can talk to a friend, parent, coach, or someone at school, you’re always more than welcome to email me. Sometimes (or most of the time) it’s a lot easier to vent to a stranger about things that are going on than it is to talk to people you know. It can be hard for the people who know you to understand that but I get it so you can always email me if you’ve got something going on and need someone to talk to. I’m available to give advice or just listen. I really hate when people try to solve my problems for me so if you just want to get stuff of your chest and rant, go for it.

This post isn’t entirely related to crew but hopefully you can see how it has a place in our sport. Like eating disorders, it’s something that isn’t talked about enough. That combined with the stigma of mental health issues contributes to a large part of the reason why people don’t ask for help and then the people who knew them lament over how “normal” they seemed because they never came off as sad or depressed. You’d be surprised how easy it is to keep all that stuff hidden if you really wanted to. There’s a lot of pressure with rowing, a lot more than there is with other sports at times, and sometimes it can be overwhelming when combined with everything else we’ve got going on. Suicide is never the answer though. There’s always people willing to help, regardless of whether they’re a friend or a stranger.

Image via // @beantownkmd

Coxing How To Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow August 1, 2013

Okay. I know you have gotten questions like this before but how do I get people to respect me as a coxswain? I mean I’m fairly knowledgeable, I know how to correct people’s technique and how to work with them to improve. I do most of the workouts with the team but I feel like there is something about me that makes them not respect me. I’m a camp counselor over the summer and I feel like the campers don’t really respect my authority either.

There are two ways to approach this. Do you think they don’t respect you because you’re not authoritative at the right times or do you think they don’t respect you because your attitude rubs them the wrong way?

Making an effort to get to know the rowers, being friendly with them, etc. is a good thing but it can end up hurting you a bit if you are too friendly with them because they’ll see you more as “one of them” instead of someone in a leadership role. I’m not saying you can’t be friends (or even best friends) with your rowers but you have to be able to separate yourself from those friendships when practice rolls around. If the rowers see you as their friend all the time it’ll be harder for them to take you seriously when you’re telling them what to do.

The flip side is if you’re too authoritative all the time and try to throw your weight around just because you’re in a position that has some degree of power, all in an attempt to make the rowers respect you. One of the things that can be tough to master with coxing is telling someone what to do without being bossy or bitchy. This is where your tone of voice comes into play. Think of how you say things and then put yourself in the shoes of the rowers. If someone was saying to you what you’re saying to the rowers in the same way you’re saying it, how would you interpret it? Would you take it as someone who knows what they’re doing and is trying to help you improve or as someone who is trying too hard to get people to respect her, overstepping her authority, and not being an effective communicator?

I don’t have the secret to earning someone’s respect. It’s going to be different with every person you meet and every crew you cox because there are different personalities to contend with. The first step towards gaining the respect of your teammates though is to make an effort to figure out why they don’t respect you. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt since I obviously don’t know the entirety of your situation and say that it’s possible that they don’t disrespect you but they don’t fully respect either because they don’t know you that well. Make an effort to get to know them, figure out why they’re there, what their goals are, what they need from you, etc. and use all of that to not only work on the respect thing but to also improve yourself and your boat.

Definitely check out the “respect” tag too, there are tons of questions in there that you should be able to pull some good advice from.