Day: March 3, 2013

High School Q&A

Question of the Day

Hi, I have a problem and I would love to hear your thoughts on it! Ok so, I am a sophomore in high school and I have been rowing for my local boathouse in the juniors programs but there aren’t any spring programs. Every school district that lines the Hudson River in my county has a crew program besides mine. I have talked to my school’s athletic director and my coaches for winter training about rowing for another school and they all have said it’s impossible. I will be able to row again in the summer and the fall, but do you have any thoughts or suggestions on how I could go about this? PS you have an awesome blog!

If they don’t have a program, I don’t see why it’s a big deal for you to join another team. I never understood that when I was in school either. Unfortunately though, if that’s the rule you’ll more than likely have to follow it. I know here in Boston a lot of kids whose schools don’t have teams go to CRI and make up one big club team, so I don’t know if that’s a possibility for you if there’s a team like that on the river or if your coaches will still say it’s against the rules. Couldn’t hurt to check it out though. If there is, you might be able to work something out with your school but it could mean that you’d have to row for that other club year-round instead of rowing for your regular program in the fall.

One thing you could do though if none of those things are an option is offer to help out one of the other teams on the river in exchange for using their ergs, weight rooms, etc. That way you could keep training and keep getting experience, even if your chances to get in a boat are limited. Offer to come in the launch a few times a week and take video for the coach or something like that. Coaches love volunteers and almost always have something that needs to be done that they don’t have time to do themselves.

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

I’m a novice and I keep hearing that the head varsity coach at my club is an ego tripping jerk who doesn’t let a lot of stuff slide which stinks because I’m injured and stuff and I don’t think I’ll be totally better by next season when I go to varsity and OMG how do I cope with a scary coach?

Forget everything you’ve heard until you’ve experienced it for yourself. Go talk to him as soon as possible and let him know about your injury, the time table for when you hope to be back to 100%, and what you can expect (training wise) when you return. Also ask what would happen if you weren’t at 100% by the time you moved up to varsity, that way you know what to expect and aren’t blindsided by anything next season.

Related: I’ve been injured for about three weeks now – it’s a hip flexor strain that hurts the most toward the end of my drive. Prior to my injury I was doing extra work in addition to our team’s winter training program and really felt myself establishing a good position for spring season. Since I’ve been injured I’ve been taking a few days off, trying to come back and being too hurt to finish a workout and then proceeding to take a few days off again. It’s a cycle. Recently I tried taking longer off but it’s so frustrating to not be able to work out while everyone else can. I couldn’t go to CRASHBs either, which really sucks. I feel like I’m losing all the hard work I put in for months because of this injury. I hope to start to ease back into things in the next few days but we have a 2k in two weeks and I’m terrified I won’t be ready and the work I’ve done won’t show. Then we go to Miami in three weeks. Basically, I’m asking how this sort of setback will affect my fitness level and the work I’ve put into training and how it looks from a coach’s perspective/coxswain’s perspective.

If he brushes you off or something, have your parents talk to him. In most cases, when parents get involved, coaches will be less rude and/or dismissive towards them than they will to the kids. Just have your parents approach it from the “concerned parent, not sure if my son/daughter told you but they’re injured, etc.” angle instead of the “my son/daughter said they told you this and you said that” angle. That’ll just cause a lot of unnecessary drama and put you in an awkward situation.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

How did you balance crew, classwork, and a social life while you were in college?

I didn’t at all. My college experience could be equated to Murphy’s Law – everything that could go wrong went wrong. Looking back I should have advocated for myself a lot more than I did when I talked to my coaches, I should have gone to my professors sooner when I realized I was falling behind, and I should have avoided my advisers entirely since they ended up steering me in the wrong direction more often than not. The way things panned out with rowing and college in general is without question the biggest regret I have.

College itself wasn’t a shock to my system or anything so there really wasn’t an adjustment period there but as soon as classes started I got smacked in the face with crew from every angle. Practice twice a day, weights in the morning twice a week after a row (7-8:30am before classes), not to mention having a teammate as a roommate (alarm clock going off every five minutes for an hour starting at 4:30am … I wanted to kill her) was a lot to deal with on top of the usual college stuff.

I started taking classes over the summer and already had an incredible group of friends before the year even started. I went from seeing them every day to never seeing them. I was way too exhausted to go out on the weekends so I missed a lot of opportunities to hang out and stuff. I justified missing out by saying that rowing in college was what I wanted to do and I knew there were going to be sacrifices and if this was one of them, fine. All work and no play is not healthy.

Classes were a whole separate issue entirely. I was excited about my major and most of my classes but it’s hard to maintain that excitement when you’re late to your morning class every day because you get held over by 20, 30, 40 minutes at practice (and then have to wait for the shuttle back to campus) and are so exhausted at the end of the day that you can’t manage any brain waves when it’s time to actually do your work. I’d come back from afternoon/evening practice around 6-7pm, maybe grab something to eat (justified again by not having enough time, I didn’t feel that hungry anyways, etc.), take a quick break to wind down from the day (usually in the form of a shower, which was the only time during the day when I felt no pressure to do anything), and then start my homework. That’d go from 8pm-2am usually before I’d set my alarm and go to bed. If I got more than 3 hours of sleep a night I was ecstatic. I was constantly running on empty.

I’ve always been a good student but my grades were awful and having never experienced that before, I was constantly kicking my own ass and telling myself to get it together. I was nervous to talk to my professors because I figured they would look at me as an entitled athlete expecting special treatment so I didn’t go to them for help (until it was all but too late) and instead committed myself to figuring out how to fix things on my own. Needless to say, that didn’t work.

Midway through the semester, I hated crew. Like, absolutely hated it. I didn’t feel like I was getting any opportunities to do anything useful when I was at practice and I (and some of the other coxswains) always felt like the coaches were pretty “meh” towards everyone but their “favorite” coxswain. Whenever the subject of crew, the team, etc. would get brought up by friends, family, professors, etc. I could feel the look of disgust on my face. If I never saw another oar, boat, or cox box ever again it would have been too soon. It went from being something that I loved doing more than anything to a job that I despised waking up for. I was stressed beyond belief, I was constantly getting sick (I ended missing nine straight days of classes at one point because I was so run down … the doctors I saw were horrified and almost made me check into the hospital for treatment), I had no energy, and the energy that I did have was spent convincing myself that this was what I wanted. I wanted this!

When I had conversations with my coaches or athletic advisers, I got nowhere. My athletic advisers, instead of finding ways to help me, only offered the suggestion of “just pick an easier major”, which I ignored because that’s literally the most lazy, bullshit piece of advice ever. My coaches guilt tripped me because I had committed myself to the team and I had to fulfill that, blah blah blah. I sat in their offices ready to punch the walls at a moment’s notice because it was like … do you think I don’t know that I made a commitment? Why do you think I’m running myself into the ground right now? I’m doing it because of this commitment!

Eventually it came to the point where I knew I had to walk away. My grades were the number one reason but my health (physical and mental) was another. I had never felt before what I felt my freshman year. I was in a perpetual state of fatigue, hunger, anger, stress, anxiety, depression, etc. that no one understood. The people I did talk to about what was going on knew maybe 1% of everything – the rest of it I kept to myself. People aren’t joking when they say doing that eats away at you. I could feel myself becoming less and less of the person I was before and that only added to everything I was feeling.

Walking away from crew was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I know it doesn’t seem like something that a normal person would agonize over but for me it was. I knew that quitting (something I had never done before) would put an end to my dreams of competing at the elite level. I was back home when I got a call from the assistant coach who said that she could tell something had been going on. No shit, really? Do you think maybe you should have said something beforehand instead of rubbing my “commitment” in my face? I told her I needed some time to figure out what I wanted but I didn’t think I was going to be on the team next season. It wasn’t until I took a step back and realized how miserable I was making myself that I realized the choice was already made. I called my coach back and said I was done.

I hate that I’m that person who is the anomaly and couldn’t make things work out. There are thousands of collegiate rowers out there that do and on some level, I’m envious of that. I’ve realized in the years since that I should have stuck up for myself and I should have told my coaches at the very beginning that something wasn’t right. Whether they could or would have helped me is something I’ll never know but I should have made the effort to at least see what they had to say. Asking for help as a coxswain is something that’s really easy for me but asking for help in “real life” is really hard and it bit me in the ass here.

The simplest piece of advice I have is that the moment you start to feel the ground under you getting a little shaky, figure out why and then go talk to the appropriate people until you’ve got things stabilized. Even if you don’t think you need someone else’s help, down the line you will. If your professors know ahead of time that you’re juggling a lot and struggled a bit with a certain topic, problem set, etc., they can at least throw out a “Hey, how have you been doing since we last talked?” at the beginning or end of class one day. I never had any professors like this but maybe you do. They can’t help you if they don’t know there’s a problem though, regardless of how minor it is.

Related: How do you fight off the stress of rowing? I can’t just stop because it helps me ease school stuff but at the same time it makes everything pile up and I can’t hold everything in anymore.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you to “just switch to an easier major”. In the short term that might solve the problem but in the long run you probably aren’t going to be happy. Also, don’t let your coaches guilt trip you, make school seem like an interference to crew, or make you feel like your concerns are invalid. Don’t let anyone else invalidate your concerns either – family, friends, significant others, teammates, etc. How you balance crew, classes, and having a life is different for each individual too. There’s an experimentation period of trial and error where you find out what works for you before you settle into a routine, but the key is making sure your routine is dictated by you and not someone or something else.