Category: Teammates & Coaches

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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Hi! I’ve asked you plenty of questions before, and your blog is so helpful for me to be a better rower and coxswain. Recently, my team voted for women’s varsity captain. The girl who won is in her third season on the team, and her second season coxing. I love her as a person but I am not a fan of her coxing – I’ve raced with her before. (Just for some background.)

I personally don’t agree with many of the decisions she makes. For example: on our team, if the rowers aren’t cooperating, the coxswains have the authority to assign pushups. If ONE rower in her boat is unable to roll their oar up, then she gives her entire boat pushups, and one day, she was coxing my boat (a mixed NOVICE eight) who has just recently been learning how to roll-up, and she gave them pushups for not being able to do something that they haven’t learned.

Also, there have been several instances where a boat has needed to be put away and one more person was needed to carry it. I offer to help and then she tells me that the rowers need to be the ones carrying the boats. I don’t agree with this because the rowers bring their boat down and up, they bring oars down and up, and they help other boats. If each boat was carrying their own boat on their own, I’d agree with her. But if you just need someone else to put it in the racks, what is the problem if it is a coxswain (formerly a rower; perfectly able to lift a boat) versus a rower?

Thirdly, there are many cases where she has to ask me what we’re supposed to be doing, who’s going out first, etc., and that just seems very backwards to me. This along with the fact that the novices (who didn’t get to vote) wish that I were captain and believe that I am a better coxswain than her, handle myself better under pressure, etc.

I obviously cannot change the fact that she’s captain, and I am happy for her. My question is, how do I respect her even though I have more experience and frankly more leadership skills than she does? (I don’t know if this sounds totally jerky or not… I really do like her as a person, I just feel that she isn’t fit to be captain – at least, not yet.)

There’s a lot of flawed logic in “coxswains can assign pushups if the rowers aren’t cooperating” but power, responsibility, or whatever you want to call it like that in the wrong hands is basically just giving them a clear path towards becoming a full on Napoleonic personality. This is one of those situations where I think it’s in the best interest of everyone, including her, to have someone (you, another captain (if there is one), her stroke seat, etc.) take her aside and basically have a “you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself” conversation with her. Throwing your weight around like that, especially with novices, isn’t the best way to earn your team’s respect and if she wants to actually be a captain and not just wear the title like a crown she needs to chill.

I agree that if you need somebody to help carry a boat it doesn’t matter who it is as long as they’re actually capable of helping (aka your 5’0″, 114lb coxswain probably won’t be of much help but your 5’6″, 127lb coxswain might be). This is one battle though that probably isn’t worth fighting. In this case I’d probably go to one of the people carrying the oars and say “hey, let me grab those and you go help them take the boat up”. You still get to help out and she gets to have a “real” rower carrying the boat … practically a win-win.

When it comes to her asking you what you’re supposed to be doing, who’s going out, etc. I don’t think it’s a big deal to occasionally fill her in if you know the answer to her question (particularly if she was legitimately occupied with something else while the coach was telling the team what the plan was) but more often then not I think you have to default to saying “you should talk to [your coach]”, “[your coach] posted the workout/lineups on the cork board upstairs”, etc. At some point you might just have to say “it’s not my responsibility to know this stuff or communicate it to you”, which might come off as passive aggressive or whatever but it’s true. I don’t expect the people in my boat or the guys on our team to tell me or our coxswains what the plan for practice is because it’s just not their job to do.

Looking at this from her perspective though (and to give her the smallest benefit of the doubt), it’s possible she’s asking you because she sees that you have more experience (both as a coxswain and a leader) and she’s looking for some guidance without having to outright say so. I’ve done that (and sometimes still do) but whoever I’m asking usually catches on and is like “you know you can just ask for help if you need it, right?” and it’s like … OK, they’re willing to help and don’t think I’m a total idiot. When you’re put in positions like she’s in, not just as a coxswain but with the added responsibility of being a captain too, there is a lot of pressure to have your shit together and if you don’t it can be pretty overwhelming (which in turn some people compensate for by going a little over the top with how they handle things … aka the pushups incident). Basically what I’m saying is don’t misattribute her attitude as being one thing when it might actually be the result of something else.

Like I said earlier, I think it’d be beneficial to have a quick one-on-one to address how she interacts with the novices and how she handles assigning pushups (which I still think is stupid and ineffective but if it’s a team policy then I guess you’ve gotta find a way to work with it … which basically means only using it as an absolute last resort). From there I’d just put it out there that you know having all this responsibility on your shoulders can be overwhelming at first so if she wants/needs advice on anything you’re willing to listen but, as previously mentioned, she’s gotta figure this out on her own and not rely on you to give her the lineups, workouts, launching order, etc. In situations like this I really believe the best thing you can do is just offer your support and if she wants it she’ll ask for it and if not, you just have to accept that and move forward. It’s hard – like, grit your teeth and cringe hard – when you want to tell someone how to do something or a way to do it better so they can avoid shitty situations but you also have to recognize that they’ve gotta make their own mistakes if they want to learn anything. That’s probably been the hardest thing for me working with our coxswains is just knowing when to sit back and not help. To the untrained eye I think it probably comes off as being a jerk for not helping (because obviously if a coxswain screws up it doesn’t just effect them, it effects the whole boat/team too) but I’m not about to force my knowledge or way of doing something on someone, even when I know it’s unequivocally right, just because they haven’t figured it out on their own yet (within reason obviously). So instead I’ll put it out there that if they want help, want to discuss something, etc. all they have to do is ask and we’ll find time to talk … otherwise, they’re on their own for better or worse.

I don’t think it makes you sound like a jerk to say all that. I think the only thing you’ve gotta be conscious of is not overstepping or undermining her authority when you interact with the novices. You can try to temper situations if a problem arises but they still have to respect the fact that she’s the captain, even if/when she does thing they don’t agree with. Even if you disagree with it too, it’d be better for you to try to help them understand where she might be coming from or why the team does things a certain way vs. saying “I don’t know why she’s making you guys do that…” or bickering with her in front of the team about who’s allowed to help carry the boats. If you want to be seen as a leader or theoretically in the future if you wanted to be captain, you’re not going to achieve that by badmouthing her or getting sucked into the groupthink where all the novices praise you while at the same time hating on her.

So … best way to respect her when you don’t (yet)? Find ways to work with her so you can better understand where she’s coming from. At the very least you’ll pick up some strategies for dealing with this type of personality so that if you encounter someone similar in the future (which you most definitely will in college, at work, etc.) you’ll know the most effective ways to deal with them.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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Hi! I am a freshman walk-on coxswain at a competitive D1 Ivy League program on the men’s lightweight team. We currently have 4 boats and I am the 5th coxswain, so in the coaches’ eyes I am obviously the worst although the rowers tell me they prefer me to the 4th coxswain (also a freshman walk-on) and the third is over the weight minimum by 10 pounds. The thing is, I am always messing up, always going to be behind because I never coxed in high school and never really learned (they put me in a boat the first day and told me to go) and I feel like I’m just never going to be good enough. I also feel like, no matter what I do, the coaches will never see me as better than the 5th coxswain even though I feel like I’m better than that and I’ve worked harder than the other coxswains and improved so much.

I love this sport and the team, but it has become such a negative thing for me. I often feel like shit after practice and I don’t feel valued or needed by the team or coaches. At this point the frustration is exhausting. I’m considering quitting, but I know that I would be ostracized by the team if I did, and I have become really good friends with some of them and don’t want to lose those relationships. Do you have any advice or have you ever been in a similar situation?

PS I can’t really talk to anyone about this because no one on my team understands, and I don’t feel comfortable addressing my concerns with my coaches because I feel like if they know I’m apprehensive, they’ll permanently “bench” (put me on the launch/kick me off the team) me–it has happened before.

Please help! Also I love your blog so thank you.

So … a couple things to start. Just because you’re the fifth coxswain  doesn’t automatically or obviously mean that you suck … and I don’t mean that in an “every kid should get a participation trophy so their feelings aren’t hurt” kind of way, I just don’t think you should assume you’re the worst just because you’re not being boated. That kind of mindset almost predisposes you to make more mistakes on the water because you feel like you have to prove yourself more and that can cause a lot of anxiety which in turn causes your confidence to take an even bigger hit every time something goes wrong. If there’s four boats and five coxswains obviously someone’s gonna draw the short straw but ultimately it’s up to you to make the decision as to whether or not you’re going to settle for the short straw or you’re going to work your ass off to get in one of the boats (lack of coaching and experience be damned).

Secondly, if you feel like quitting you should quit. I’m never going to be that person who tries to talk people out of quitting, mainly because if it’s something they’ve already thought about doing then their minds are probably already made up and they’re basically just looking for validation or someone to say that it’s OK for them to do it. I think your reasons for wanting to quit are pretty valid … it’s your reasons for not wanting to quit that I think are … less valid. I get not wanting to lose the friendships you’ve made but to counter that argument, if the guys on the team are really your friends and put an equal amount of work into the friendship as you do, do you really think they’ll just let it fall to the wayside if you’re no longer around? Real friends won’t/don’t let that happen. You know the time commitment all of this takes so obviously it’s going to take a little more effort to make plans to hang out but if I were in your shoes, I’d rather quit and have this weight off my shoulders all the while knowing that I might not see my friends as frequently than stay on the team and continue feeling shitty and undervalued just for the sake of maintaining the status quo. Also, you should talk to them about this. Maybe not the coxing part of it specifically but the social aspect of it. Like I said, if they’re really your friends then they’ll probably be able to dispense some insight/advice that I can’t as an outsider looking in.

OK, so on to the coxing stuff. I understand why you’d say that you can’t talk to anyone on the team about this because I’ve been in that situation too. I felt the same way in college about pretty much everything because that whole four and a half years was like Murphy’s Law for me – if it could go wrong, it did (epically). Every time I’d talk to my professors, advisors, etc. it just made me even more upset because their advice sucked and I attributed it to them just not getting it … which I still think is true but it’s really only been recently that I realized I wasn’t approaching the situation in the best way. It’s scarily easy to fall into that “woe is me, this is bullshit, why is this happening” mindset and if what you’re saying or the questions you’re asking communicate that vibe, then yea … no one is gonna get it because they’re not experiencing what you’re experiencing. If you want some legit feedback/advice you have to put all that aside and approach it with a “this is where I’m at, this is where I want to be, what in your opinion should I do to get there?” attitude rather than a “I have no idea what I’m doing and everyone thinks I suck, HELP” one. The latter’s not gonna get you anything more than a fake “what, nooo, nobody thinks that” response whereas the former might get you a few nuggets of gold that you can then mold into an action plan.

Assuming making your way into a boat is your goal, you should schedule a meeting with the coaches. Being in the launch – as boring as it can be sometimes – really isn’t the worst thing that can happen (our sophomore coxswain literally spent March-May (every day) this past spring in the launch and I honestly believe she’s a better coxswain because of it) and if they kick you off the team (which is easily the dumbest thing I’ve heard all week) … who cares. If you’re already on the fence about quitting then them kicking you off probably isn’t going to phase you that much.

Related: I’m a HS varsity men’s coxswain, but our club spends a lot of time sculling in quads and rowing small boats. As a result, I spend a lot of time sitting on the launch. However, I don’t exactly know what the best way to make use of that time is. Usually I just watch the rowers quietly and mention the occasional technique mistake if I don’t think my coach sees it, but I’m not really sure what the protocol is. Should I tell the rowers directly if I’m seeing something off? Should I try to talk to my coach about what lineups I think are working and what aren’t (he very occasionally asks my opinion on who should get seat raced and stuff like that)? Or is it better to just watch and note what’s going on so I can use it when we do row coxed boats?

Do you have to say you’re thinking about quitting? Well, no, obviously. I’d keep that to yourself, not out of fear of retaliation but because it’s not relevant. Neither is the rowers’ preference for you over the fourth coxswain or the fact that the third is 135+ pounds. You’ve already listed some good talking points so use those to drive the conversation and help you get what you want. If I were you, I’d go into this “spring season goal-setting” meeting (<– email subject line) prepared to say two things:

1. You’re the fifth coxswain now and while you know you still have areas to improve on, you’re really proud of the effort you’ve put in to improve over where you were when you started. [Confidence is key. If you feel like you’ve gotten better, own that shit.] Making your way into the fourth boat is your goal so what one or two things do they feel you should focus your efforts on so you can better compete for that spot?

Make sure you have a couple things on hand that you are already planning to work on, i.e. steering, practice management, etc., that way you can either pre-empt them by saying “I know I need to get better at managing practice when we’re on the water” so they hopefully don’t say the same thing or they can elaborate on it further. Additionally, if they ask you what you think you need to work on you can say XYZ. If I were your coach I’d take you a lot more seriously if you come prepared having thought about this stuff ahead of time.

2. You want to make sure you’re being a productive member of the team, regardless of whether you’re in a boat or not, so what can you do on land or in the launch that would help them out, help practice run smoother, etc.?

You can ask the rowers and coxswains this too, framed exactly the same way. Both groups will say different things so you’ll be able to get a ton of info out of one simple question. This addresses the whole feeling undervalued/not needed thing too without directly saying so and it makes you sound proactive instead of whiny, which is how saying you feel undervalued can come off to some people. Whatever they all say though, even if it’s the most mundane task possible, embrace it and execute it so flawlessly that Beyonce herself would be proud. Find situations where you can create value for yourself and eventually people will start appreciating what you have to offer. That’s what I did last year with working with our coxswains. It was already something I was planning on doing in addition to coaching the rowers but because we were such a small team, I didn’t have a boat to coach which meant I would have been showing up every day to essentially do nothing. If I wanted to be taken seriously and not be seen as that hanger-on wannabe coach who just rides in the launch every day, I had to create value for myself so that even if I wasn’t coaching the rowers I was still contributing to the team and helping to make them fast. Coxswains are obviously my thing so I tapped into that and now anytime something comes up with them, on our team or any of the other three, I’m the one that people go to. Find something similar that you can do for your team. It might not be glamorous but don’t underestimate how much rowers appreciate always having a full water bottle during erg workouts or being able to get started right away because the ergs, weight-circuit stations, etc. are already set up because you showed up early to take care of it.

So .. to summarize all of this (sorry it got so long), if you want to quit then quit but if you want to give coxing a shot then approach it proactively and come up with some goals and a plan. Get your coaches on board by discussing this with them and as I said, tell them where you’re at, where you want to be, and get insight from them on what you can do to get there. You’re a novice, you’re obviously not expected to know everything so use your teammates and coaches to help you fill in the gaps. At the end of the day if you want the right answers you’ve first gotta initiate the conversation and ask the right questions.

Coxswain Evaluations 2.0

College Coxing High School Teammates & Coaches

Coxswain Evaluations 2.0

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Last spring when we were in Florida for spring break the coxswains decided they wanted to update the evals we’d been using with questions that were more specific and kinda forced the guys to think deeper about what they wanted in a coxswain and how our current group measured up to that. We spent about two hours in my hotel room tossing around ideas for what to change, add, etc. and came up with Eval 2.0, which I’ve linked as a PDF below.

Related: Coxswain Evaluations 2.0

With the exception of one or two questions we didn’t really eliminate that much from the original eval but there were a lot of changes and additions made. Here’s what we added:

More specificity to most of the questions

Sometimes having open-ended questions is necessary but there’s a thin line between open-ended and vague so we tried to make the questions as direct as possible in order to get more targeted feedback that we/I could more easily translate into actionable goals.

Added a section on communication

This was an area where we struggled last year (to the point where the rowers noticed, which was a wake up call for the coxswains over spring break) and after strategizing on ways we could improve (individually and collectively) they wanted feedback on whether or not the changes were coming across. (We also added a section for calls – previously it was tacked onto motivation but there weren’t any specific questions for it so we separated it and made it it’s own section.)

Added several new questions

Many of the questions carried over from the first eval but we also added a couple new ones to address specific areas of concern/interest. For example, under “execution” there weren’t any questions that directly addressed the coxswains’ knowledge. It’s one thing to say you know what you’re doing or talking about but when it comes time to call drills, make technical corrections to an individual’s stroke, etc. can you actually do that or no? (This has consistently been one of the questions that gets the best responses too.)

Execution

Knowledge and communication of technique issues – do the coxswains appear to have a good understanding of the rowing stroke, as well as the ability to pick out technical problems during practice and provide the appropriate feedback?

How well do you feel the coxswains manage practice in terms of running warm-ups, understanding what the coaches are looking for, what the goal of the practice/pieces are, etc.?

Motivation

How would you describe the energy the coxswain brings to the boat? Are they someone that can lift the boat when they’re having a bad practice and maintain a positive atmosphere when things are going well?

Calls

Conciseness of calls – are the calls too wordy (5), just right (3), or too vague/ambiguous (1)?

Clarity of calls – how clear is the coxswain when making a call and how well do you understand the calls that are being made? (This question has two meanings – are they clear as in (1) not mumbling and (2) do their calls make sense and can the rowers easily process and translate them into actions.)

What calls do you like, what calls do you think aren’t effective, and/or what calls do you not understand?

Communication

Do you feel the coxswains communicate effectively and work well with each other, the coaches, and the crew during practice? Are there any areas in which you think they can/should improve?

Expanded on which coxswains are best in racing + practice situations

Asking which coxswains they prefer for races and practice is helpful for the coaches but it never really did much for the coxswains other than create animosity. Adding in an open-ended “why” component helped them see why the rowers chose who they did and where they could make improvements. There was also some … ok, a lot of … debate on what makes a good varsity coxswain last year so to settle that we came up with two questions that addressed not just the specific qualities the rowers want in their coxswains but also asking who they felt could get in the boat and maximize the crew’s potential.

Both questions were initially a little self-serving (one of the coxswains definitely thought their point was going to be made and the responses would lean in their favor … which didn’t end up happening) but the underlying thought behind the latter question was that it’s not just about being a good coxswain because not all good coxswains can get in a boat and make it faster (which happened last year too). The question about maximizing potential looks past all the “surface aesthetics”, their weight, etc. and focuses solely on who can pull something out of the boat when its needed the most.

In the fall I go over the evals individually with the coxswains but in the winter/spring I like to go over them as a group. This winter we did a combination of both (at their request) and started off by going over them individually (three coxswains = three practices to go over them, roughly an hour each) before meeting as a group to discuss everything and address some particular points that came up. (We spent about two hours doing this during one of the team’s steady state days.) Instead of doing individual sheets like I do in the fall (you can see an example of those in the original evals post linked at the top) I just put all the comments on one page and color-coded them for each person.

This was then shared with them the night before the first one-on-one so they could see not just the comments they got but what was said about everyone else as well. I have my reasons for letting them see each other’s comments so use your best judgement since that approach obviously won’t work for everyone.

Related: How to handle a negative coxswain evaluation

So, what do the guys think of these new evals? Surprisingly, they like them. They’re obviously a lot more labor-intensive than the original ones are (those usually took 15-20 minutes to fill out whereas the guys tend to spend 45-60+ minutes filling these ones out – seriously) but the quality of the feedback also matches the amount of time they spend on them so the trade-off is worth it. Naturally they all complain about how long they are but I think they recognize that the coxswains really look forward to the feedback they get so it’s mostly in jest at this point.

Related: Coxswain evaluations + my system for organizing them

If you don’t have a ton of time to spare then definitely stick with the original ones but if you do, I’d consider doing a longer eval like this at least once a year. I’m mulling the idea of making these into a Google Form for next time and having the guys fill them out that way but the downside to that is they don’t get donuts if we aren’t doing them at the boathouse sooo … there’s that.

Pro tip: bring the rowers donuts and they’ll do whatever you ask. FACT.

Image via // @mitmensrowing
Coxswain Skills: How to handle a negative coxswain evaluation

College Coxing High School How To Teammates & Coaches

Coxswain Skills: How to handle a negative coxswain evaluation

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Previously: Steering, pt. 1 || Steering, pt. 2  || Boat feel 

This might seem like an unconventional topic to put under the “things you should know how to do” umbrella but after spending many hours on coxswain evals over the last year and a half and occasionally feeling like pulling teeth would have been a more enjoyable experience, I think learning how to handle negative feedback/constructive criticism is an important skill that coxswains need to pick up sooner rather than later.

Feedback, both positive and negative, is essential to your growth as a coxswain. When communicated properly, it should touch on three main things – what you’re doing well, what you need to improve on, and areas where you’ve made improvements since your last evaluation. This is a big reason why I revamped how the info on our evals is communicated to the coxswains. Before the coaches just handed them the 20+ pieces of paper and left them to their own devices but now it’s all laid out in a single spreadsheet that hits the three points I mentioned before.

Related: Coxswain evaluations + my system for organizing them

Where going over evals becomes a contentious and unproductive process is when you take the negative feedback personally. Being told you aren’t doing something well can sting because of the amount of time we put into coxing but if someone is critiquing your coxing, they’re not critiquing you. You have to be able to separate you the person from you the coxswain and look at these situations objectively. On the flip side though, if you’re not putting in the necessary extra effort outside of practice (or hell, even at practice…) or you show up every day with a shitty attitude then you really have no right to complain about whatever’s being said, which I think more coxswains than not need to understand.

With that in mind, here are eight things (some of which may or may not be inspired by our coxswains ?) that you shoudn’t do when going over your evals.

Don’t get defensive

In most cases it’s the natural reaction to have but it can also come off as pretty immature. There’s a difference between defending your actions or making a case for why you did something a certain way and straight up making an excuse. You can defend something you’ve done one time (i.e. going through the wrong arch because you were unsure of which one to use due to construction on the bridge – a common problem on the Charles where this is always changing) but if you’re trying to defend something you’ve done multiple times (i.e. hitting the dock when coming in at the end of practice) then you’re just making excuses for why you haven’t adapted your steering to account for whatever was causing you to run into the dock in the first place (i.e. your speed, angle, line, etc.).

Don’t have an attitude or be sarcastic

Full disclosure, I started putting this post together after a particularly … uh, heated … meeting with one of our coxswains this past fall where this was the biggest issue I faced in trying to communicate with them the feedback that was on the evals. The bottom line is that you can be annoyed all you want but don’t be an asshole to the person taking time out of their schedule to go over this stuff with you because I promise, it just makes them not want to do it in the future … and if you have someone willing to go out of their way to discuss all of it with you, you are foolish if you don’t take advantage of it.

Don’t apologize 47 times for whatever mistake(s) you’ve made

Mainly looking at you, high school girls. Say it once sincerely and move on. Don’t make your coaches coddle you and have to keep saying “it’s fine” – I’ve had to do this recently and eventually it gets to the point where I’m like “I literally do not care if you’re sorry or how sorry you are, just do something different“. The more times you say sorry (especially for really trivial things that don’t require an apology) without actively changing your actions or behavior, the less your apology is going to mean when you really do screw up.

Don’t react immediately

If your immediate reaction to the feedback you’re getting is to blurt out “that’s not fair”, “I completely disagree”, etc. you will look so immature, even if the comments are unfair (which they rarely are) and you do disagree (which is fine but see point #1). Absorb the comments and think about what’s being said so you can try to understand why someone made that comment and then say that you’d like to come back to it later, either at the end of practice, tomorrow, etc., after you’ve had time to think about and process it.

And coaches, if your coxswain goes this route … respect it and say “OK, let’s touch base later”, even if that means spending an extra 20 minutes at the boathouse. If you force the issue by saying”no, we’re gonna do this now” you’re just gonna make them resent the whole evaluation process and their confidence/abilities will suffer as a result.

Don’t dwell on it, let it affect future practices, or use it as a reason/excuse for why you have a bad practice the following day

If you were caught off guard by the comments then that’s fine and you should take some time to deal with that but you also need to commit to letting them go, particularly when it’s time to get on the water. No pity parties or “woe is me” attitudes because the rowers don’t give a shit and the coaches are just gonna get annoyed because we have other stuff to focus on.

Don’t ignore comments you disagree with

Not all feedback is useful but disagreeing with a comment doesn’t mean you can straight up ignore it, particularly when getting any kind of feedback is so tough in the first place.

Don’t waste the opportunity to discuss, strategize, etc.

It’s like at the end of a job interview when they ask if you have any questions. You should always ask questions. I’m currently in the process of going over our winter evals with the coxswains and I told them ahead of time to bring questions, comments, things they wanted/needed clarification on, an action plan for the rest of winter training, a list of goals based on the feedback that was given, etc. because this is the prime chance to discuss all of that stuff with me. I see and talk to them every single day but direct one-on-one time like this is rare, as I assume it is with most of you and your coaches, so don’t waste the opportunity to pick their brains when it’s offered.

Don’t be resentful

If your coach(es) or the rowers have been telling you something for awhile and then it comes up again in the evals, you can expect that they’re all thinking “well … we told you so”. This shouldn’t piss you off or give you cause to be bitter towards them, it should instead act as a wake up call (or a “come to Jesus” moment, as our head coach calls it) that you need to do some serious self-analysis and get your shit together. They are telling you this stuff for. a. reason. Don’t ignore them just because you don’t think it’s important because it will bit you in the ass later.

Obviously these critiques are about what’s being said but ultimately their effectiveness is measured by how you handle and respond to them. This will also dictate how future evals go – the more receptive you are to feedback and the more diligently you go about addressing whatever issues are brought up, the more likely the rowers will be to continue giving you feedback because they can see that you’re taking it seriously. If you come off as aloof or combative in response to what’s being said, you’re not going to get better because the rowers will stop giving you any sort of feedback because it looks like you’re not taking it seriously. It’s your call.

Image via // @merijnsoeters
Defining the role of the coxswain: Motivation

Coxing Teammates & Coaches

Defining the role of the coxswain: Motivation

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Despite not being that high on the list of things you’re responsible for doing, helping to motivate your crew is still an important part of your job as a coxswain.

Related: What do coaches look for in a coxswain + Motivation (tag)

I’ve talked a lot about motivation in the past and there’s definitely no shortage of inspiration in the quotes, videos, and recordings I post but if you want something simpler to go off of, here are the two most basic things you can do to motivate your teammates.

Lead by example

Be present because even on days when practice is boring, you can’t be. If you’re motivated by something, whether it’s a personal goal or a team goal, bring that energy to practice and on the water. Your interactions with the rowers, coxswains, and coaches, your engagement during team meetings, etc. are all things that might seem inconsequential but can actually be strong motivating factors for the people around you.

Know what your teammates want

If you’ve asked me any version of the question “what’s a good call to make to motivate my crew”, you’ll know that my first answer is ALWAYS to talk to your teammates. Everybody is driven by different things which means you have to pay attention and get to know the people on your team so you know where their motivation lies. Remember, your job isn’t necessarily to give them motivation, it’s to draw out what’s already there.

Both of these should be considered “non-negotiable” – you should be doing them every single day without thinking about it and without being asked. Given that most of us are in the midst of winter training and are likely to be stuck inside for at least another six weeks, doing both of these is a good way to start setting yourself apart from the other coxswains.

Image via // @spsbc_17
College Recruiting: (More) Questions to Ask Coaches

College Recruiting Teammates & Coaches

College Recruiting: (More) Questions to Ask Coaches

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Previously: Intro || The recruiting timeline + what to consider || What do coaches look at? || Contacting coaches, pt. 1 ||  Contacting coaches, pt. 2 || Contacting coaches, pt. 3 || Contacting coaches, pt. 4 || Highlight videos + the worst recruiting emails || Official/unofficial visits + recruiting rules recap || When scholarships aren’t an option || Managing your time as a student-athlete + narrowing down your list of schools || Interest from coaches + coming from a small program || How much weight do coaches have with admissions + what to do if there are no spots left || Being recruited as a coxswain, pt. 1 || Being recruited as a coxswain, pt. 2 || Technique + erg scores

This list of questions was compiled by Jim Dietz (current women’s coach at UMass and pretty notable guy within the rowing community) and includes two things – questions you should ask and questions you can figure the answers to out on your own (aka questions you shouldn’t ask because if you do it just shows a) your lack of initiative and preparation and b) that you’re not really interested in that school/program).

I’ll start with the latter, questions you shouldn’t ask…

Are they club or varsity? (Know the difference.)

Are they D1, D2, or D3? (Know the difference.)

What conference do they compete in?

Who do they compete against? (Just look at their racing schedule to figure this out.)

How often to they race? (Look at their schedule.)

Those things you can find out very easily via Google so don’t waste the coaches time by asking them during the limited period of time that you speak on the phone or through email. Now, questions you should ask…

What kind of academic support is available to the athletes?

Is the team limited to rowing eights and fours or is pairs rowing/sculling also an option?

How are the facilities and what are the conditions normally like where you row?

Do you recruit coxswains? (Obviously an especially important question if you’re a coxswain.)

How are coxswains evaluated?

What is the team atmosphere like in general and how are things handled when the environment is tense (i.e. during selection, the dead of winter training, etc.)?

Another great question to ask is what the freshmen → sophomore retention rate is, as well as what’s the number of four-year athletes that graduate compared to the number of people who were in that class as a freshmen (aka how many athletes make it all four years?). Athletes who quit during or after their freshman year usually do it for one of two reasons, culture or academics. (Both of those played a factor in my decision when I stopped coxing.) Athletes that quit later in their careers (juniors + seniors) tend to do so purely for academic reasons.

With freshmen, culture tends to be the bigger of the two unless you’re at a very academically intensive school (like MIT, for example) where balancing athletics and academics can be a challenge from the get-go. All of the freshmen that we’ve lost the last two years (which was … four or five rowers, I think) left for academic reasons, not necessarily because they were falling behind or anything but because they wanted to be able to devote more time to school and other activities (Greek life is huge here so that’s one of them) and they felt like it wouldn’t be possible to do that while balancing 20+ hours a week as an athlete.

Related: What questions should you ask coaches during the recruiting process?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but you should also ask if there are any rowers on the team currently majoring in whatever it is you want to major in. (This is also a good question/topic for conversation when you go on your official visits and have some time to interact with the athletes outside of practice.) This is especially important if you’re interested in pre-med/pre-law, engineering, architecture, chem/bio/physics … basically anything that is lab or project-intensive.

Related: College recruiting: Official/unofficial visits + recruiting rules recap

One of the main reasons why you should ask this is because it just might not be feasible to do that major due to scheduled lab times and practice times. My major was very lab-intensive since it was a research-based science major and more than once I had classes and/or labs that were only offered at one specific time once a year or once every other year. It’s also good to learn how athletes in those majors manage their schedules with crew and all their other commitments (i.e. clubs, research, study groups, etc.).

Another question that is important to ask is how committed the coach is to their program, particularly if one of the reasons why you’re looking at the program is because you want to row for that coach. Barring getting fired or other unforeseen circumstances, are they planning on sticking around for (at least) the next five years? Most coaches that I personally know would be totally cool with being asked this question, mainly because if they’re asking you to commit four years to them it’s only fair that you ask the same in return. If they have young kids who might be starting school in two years, are they going to stay in their tiny condo in the big city or are they planning on moving to an area with better schools where they can buy a house with a yard and actually settle down? What about if you want to row for a legendary coach like Steve Gladstone, for example? He’s been in the rowing game for decades … it’s not unreasonable to think that maybe he’s eyeing retirement within the next three years. (That’s not to say he is, it’s just an example.) If rowing for a particular coach is one of the reasons you’re drawn to that program, asking these questions should be part of the conversation you have with them.

Related: What questions should you ask coaches during the recruiting process?

The last thing is questions that can/will be asked by the coach to you that you can/should also ask them.

How the season went (Obviously you can look up their results but specifically, what was the biggest lesson learned from … I donno, Washington’s loss to Cal in the spring, or what was the most meaningful experience from this past year?)

What are your/the team’s goals within/outside rowing? (Our team, like I assume most teams do, has two meetings each year – one at the end of the fall and one before the start of the spring season – to lay out our goals and then discuss our progress towards them.)

Why are you interested in this school or if you’re asking the coach this, what attracted you to this school and why have you stayed there for 3, 5, 12, 40 years? (This is one of my favorite questions to ask when I’m interviewing with coaches.)

That’s it, the last recruiting post in this series. I hope the last seventeen weeks worth of posts have been helpful for you guys and have answered some of your questions about the whole process (or ones you didn’t know you had) and everything that goes into it. If you want to check out previous posts in this series you can check out the “college recruiting 101” tag. All other recruiting posts can be found in the “recruiting” tag.

Image via // @rowingrelated

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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Just wondering , what do you say to your crew after a training session and they say “Thanks cox”?

Alright, this probably sounds really dumb and I really hope I’m not the only one that has this problem … but I never know how to respond to this! I mean, I typically will just say “no problem, you guys did good today” but there’s definitely a nanosecond period beforehand where I’m like “shit, do I say ‘you’re welcome’, no that sounds douchey, do I say XYZ…” before I just reply with “no prob”. If I’m coxing a new crew then I’ll usually say “no prob, thanks for inviting me out with you guys” or something to that effect but if it’s my usual crew then I just go with what I said before or keep it simple with a smile and a fist bump. I also think it’s good to take that opportunity to talk about something that went well that day (i.e. “no prob … we found our groove on that last piece, it just looked and felt a lot more composed than yesterday…”) so that’s another thing I’ll do. If they say something like “thanks, your calls were on point today” or “nice job managing all that traffic today” then I think it’s good to acknowledge the compliment and say thanks back. If it’s something you’ve been working on, say “thanks, I really appreciate that because I’ve been trying to work on my race calls…”.

What amuses me about this is it’s such a simple exchange but it’s one that you can easily overthink to the point where it’s beyond ridiculous that you’re putting so much effort into thinking about how to reply to someone saying “thank you”. That’s literally the first thing that goes through my head as we’re walking the boat up after practice … like, ” was it really that hard to just say ‘no prob’ or ‘thanks’ in return?”. Ugh…

How do you guys respond when your crews thank you after a race or practice?

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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Hi I’ve been recently reading your blog and have really enjoyed your posts. I have a question to ask you. I am in a high school crew and last year was my novice year. I spent the whole fall season rowing and also did winter conditioning, but I hoped I could become a coxswain. About half way through spring my coach realized that we needed a coxswain, and since I was light and eager to cox he used me as coxswain about once a week and I was able to cox four 4+ races, but they were always B boats because I was only the “part-time” coxswain. In the summer I rowed. Then this fall, my first varsity season, all but one of our coxswains, a girl who had coxed the guys novice last year during the spring were gone, participating in other activities. The coaches decided to make me the head girls varsity coxswain and, we’ll call her Maddie, the head boys varsity coxswain. At first I struggled a lot because I had hardly any instruction, and I was basically a novice varsity coxswain. Many of the rowers became exasperated with me. They would talk bad about me in the boat and at the boat house, and they would frequently decide to tap or back seat cox. About two weeks into the season, Sarah, a coxswain who has been coxing for 5 years and just last spring took a lightweight men’s 4+ to Nationals and placed 2nd, returned after being begged by one of our coaches. Instantly my problem became worse and the rowers would compare me to Sarah and wouldn’t take me seriously. Sarah and Maddie became close friends and have been excluding me and telling the rowers I am the worst coxswain to ever exist; they don’t take me seriously and think of me as a rower. The problem has only gotten worse as I’ve improved because Maddie seems to feel threatened by me because we are both in the same grade. So, my question is: how can I gain the respect of my fellow coxswains and the rowers after rowing for a year? Thanks for reading my long question, and I really hope you can answer it and help me gain some respect.

Check the “respect” tag as well as the post linked below. There’s plenty of stuff in both those links that’ll give you ideas for how to earn respect from the rowers.

As for the coxswains, you kinda just have to be the bigger person, ignore their bullshit, and find a way to communicate/work with them. Icing out another coxswain because you’re “threatened” by them or don’t like them or whatever is just petty and I get that you’re in high school so that’s like, the norm for that age but at some point you have to wake up and realize that doing that isn’t just hurting whoever’s on the receiving end of it, it’s hurting the entire team. You can say exactly that to them too (nicely but still firm enough to make your point) and to be honest, you probably should. Maybe part of the reason why they say this stuff about you is because they think they can get away with it because (they think) you won’t stand up for yourself or say anything back to them. I don’t think you need to engage them in any way but you shouldn’t let them walk all over you either.

Related: Some things to know as a novice coxswain

If Sarah is a good coxswain, which it sounds like she is, then presumably you have stuff you can learn from her so try to get on her good side by asking her questions, talking to her about how she’s coxed the boats she’s had in the past, proposing hypotheticals like “how would you deal with XYZ if this was your boat…”, etc. Sometimes that’s the best/easiest way to deal with a difficult person … flatter them and make them feel like you getting to learn from them is the greatest experience ever. Don’t be over the top about it or come off super fake because then they’ll just think you’re being passive aggressive (which in turn will only ramp up their collective attitude problem) … just approach it like you would a normal conversation with any other person. Hopefully doing that will give you a chance to develop a better working relationship with her and let her see that you’re not the enemy just because you’re a new-ish coxswain who’s still learning the ropes.

The bitch in the boat

College Coxing High School Teammates & Coaches

The bitch in the boat

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This is kind of an off-topic(ish) post so just bear with me here. This particular issue has come up a lot lately in conversation and emails so I wanted to touch on it here and get your thoughts.

I don’t know if any other (female) coxswains get annoyed with this but it’s really starting to rub me the wrong way when we’re told to “be more bitchy” when we’re coxing. I was told this in high school and college, my friends have been told this, girls I coach have been told this, and I’ve had numerous emails over the last few years from women of all ages who have been told this.

Related: I was told to be more “bitchy” in the boat, but I want to make sure I’m constructively assertive and not mean or unnecessarily aggressive. Do you have any suggestions for how to talk to my coaches about this or to get back into a higher boat, or tips for being “bitchy” in a helpful way?

Instead of saying “be more bitchy”, why not just say “be more authoritative, assertive, confident, self-assured, etc.” in relation to whatever specific part of her coxing you’re referring to? There’s a big difference between asserting yourself to get shit done and straight up being a bitch and I don’t think it’s right to conflate the two and make it seem like in order to accomplish something you have to be (or are) a bitch. 

There’s obviously plenty of instances where being called a bitch isn’t a big deal and like most people I think it’s a total non-issue when used in that context but telling a 14, 15, 16 year old girl (who doesn’t know or understand the pop culture appropriation of the word) that she needs to be bitchier in order to do her job just sends her the wrong message about what it takes to be a leader … and that I’m not cool with.

Related: My coach says that there’s  “a feistier” side in me that my rowers may not know about me. I can see why, I seem a little timid at times, but on the water when I make calls, I guess my voice changes and I get really into it/competitive. She also told me I should work on being even more of a leader-esp. on the water. As in I could throw in some challenges like out of shoes rowing at the end of practice or something. How do I become an effective leader without coming across as a bitch, rude, etc. ?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be the first one to admit that there are times when we are being bitches and we are being bossy in the negative sense and that’s something that we deserve to get called out on. Outside of those occasions though, there are better and more empowering ways to communicate to teenage girls how to be more assertive and confident when they’re in leadership roles (like what comes with being a coxswain). 

The question that was in the post I linked to asked if I had any tips for “being bitchy in a helpful way”. I like the way that coxswain explained it too because she said she wants to “make sure I’m constructively assertive and not mean or unnecessarily aggressive”, which I think is the perfect way to describe what people mean when they call someone a bitch because they either want the former or think they’re being the latter. Here’s what I said in response to that and going forward, if somebody tells you to “be bitchier in the boat”, know that this is probably what they want you to do.

“If your rowers are speaking in a general sense, I tend to interpret that as them saying they want you to be more on top of them about the little details – aka hold them accountable for the changes they need to make, the rate/splits they’re supposed to be at, etc. I was just talking about this with our coxswains yesterday when we went over their coxswain evals and what I told them was that they need to know not just the standards and expectations that we (the coaches) have for each crew but they also need to know the standards and expectations that the rowers have for themselves and then aggressively hold them to that. That combined with knowing the appropriate technical calls to make (and when) and understanding the focus and purpose of each drill/workout so you can cox them accordingly is how you present yourself as a “constructively assertive” coxswain.”

I know topics like this can be eye roll-inducing and easy to write off but I hope what I said makes sense and you see where I’m coming from. Also, because I know someone somewhere will think/say this, this has nothing to do with male coxswains and stuff like this never being said to them. I purposely avoided going down that road because I don’t think it’s relevant. Maybe it is but it’s not the point I’m trying to make.

Being a coxswain helps you develop so many great and important life skills, especially when it comes to leadership, so in the interest of encouraging more girls to step into similar roles let’s do our part as coaches and teammates by using the right language to communicate the traits it takes to accomplish that.

Image via // @tristanshipsides

Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

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Hello! I was wondering if you have any tips for when you feel burned out with coxing. I just don’t feel like I’m really doing my best in the boat and I feel like I have rowers who do not appreciate me or all the stress that I’m putting in to be the best I can be. I’m not getting any feedback even though I repeatedly ask for it and just don’t feel like a respected part of the team and while I love this sport I don’t really know what to do.

It’s easy to get burned out on coxing, especially when you’re trying to get better and feel like you’re hitting a wall with every attempt you make. When it comes to asking feedback, more often times than not the reason you’re not getting any is because you’re not asking the right questions. That may or may not be the case here but whenever you talk to your rowers (or coaches), ask them about one or two specific things rather than just “how did I do today”.

Related: Okay. I know you have gotten questions like this before but how do I get people to respect me as a coxswain? I mean I’m fairly knowledgeable, I know how to correct people’s technique and how to work with them to improve. I do most of the workouts with the team but I feel like there is something about me that makes them not respect me. I’m a camp counselor over the summer and I feel like the campers don’t really respect my authority either.

For example, if you’ve been working on your technical eye say something like “I’ve been trying to get better at spotting and calling out technical issues, particularly when we’re going through drills. Today I was focused on the catch and wanted to know if you had any feedback on the calls I was making – were they still too vague or do you think they were better at pointing out the issues and what changes had to be made?” The caveat to asking the rowers stuff like this is that there’s a 50-50 chance they’ll say “uh…I wasn’t paying attention sooo…” or “I don’t remember…”. To combat that it’s best to talk to a couple rowers before you go out and say “this is what I’m working on today, can you give me some feedback after practice?” and then approach them again later once you’re off the water. The same idea applies to your coach when it comes to stuff like steering, developing a better understanding of drills and workouts, etc. The more specific your questions the better the feedback you get will be.

Related: Hey, This past spring season was my first season and I am a novice coxswain. Now I am training with mostly varsity kids for the summer. I want to be be able to get them to respect me but I am really short and weak. I have already tried working out with them. Is there any other way to get their respect? Also, what are some drills that I can do on the water when I am waiting for my coach so my rowers aren’t just sitting around? Thanks for the help!

As far as not feeling like a respected member of the team, talk to your team captains about this (if you have any) and explain why you feel that way. If you don’t have team captains or a varsity rower/coxswain you feel comfortable talking to, approach your coach and ask to meet with them one-on-one. Tell them how you’re feeling and that the result of everything is that you feel really burned out and aren’t sure where to go from here. Hopefully they’ll be able to give you some advice on ways they feel you can improve that you might not have thought of yet and how to work towards earning the respect of the rowers. The thing about coxing is that you have to accept early on that pretty much no one is going to know what you’re doing off the water to get better so you have to take all that behind the scenes work and manifest it into actual actions  on the water … otherwise you’ll just come across as all talk and no game and people will wonder why you’re so stressed for seemingly no reason.

Related: This kind of sounds weird, but I’m a novice coxswain, how do I get my boat to respect me? I feel like (with the exception of calls related to steering and drills) they don’t listen to anything I say in the boat. They talk a lot and I tell them not to but they continue to. They point stuff out to me on the water that I can clearly see and I just feel like they are always yelling at me and telling me what to do. Sometimes I just need to make a decision but I can’t if everyone is yelling at me. I don’t know what to do. I’m learning but the coaches don’t really help me out. Most of the things I’ve learned about coxing I’ve learned from other coxswains on the team or your blog. Do you know how to fix this and get the rowers to listen to me?

If worst comes to worst, you can always take some time off to clear your head and figure out what your next move is. Sometimes taking time off is a good solution because it lets you look at things more objectively whereas when you’re stressed and irritated it’s harder to see where you can do things better/differently. You might also come to the conclusion that as much as you love coxing, the team environment isn’t giving you what you need to make continuing to cox worth it and that walking away from the sport is your best option. The good thing is that we’re nearing the end of the fall season which means you’ll likely have some time to do this before winter training picks up or if your team doesn’t do winter training, you’ll have plenty of time to think about all this before the spring season rolls around.