My coach isn’t very chatty with us. Obviously my teammates and I still have a pretty solid relationship with her due to the endless hours we spend at practice together but sometimes I feel like she doesn’t like me. I never want to be that annoying kid so I’m generally pretty quiet and very obedient (that’s kinda just my personality anyways). Any suggestions on building a relationship with my coach without being a pest? (She’s about your age if that makes a diff.)

I wouldn’t ever assume that your coach doesn’t like you. One thing I’ve noticed (and done) is that younger coaches in general might not be very talkative outside of the typical “coaching” conversations just because we’re trying to maintain our authority (I guess is the best way to put it) because we are closer in age to you guys, which does then make it harder for the athletes to get to know us. I would open up a little yourself, maybe talk a little bit more to her, ask her about why she chose to row at the college she rowed at or why she chose that college or what her major was, etc. You don’t have to get super deep or super personal … just elaborate a little on what she offers up in a regular conversation.

Related: I row with my school (secondary school in England – so high school) and we share a boathouse/coaches with a boys school. One of my coaches is really jokey, he constantly teases us about the boys we know, he pokes fun at us, he has nicknames for us, and although I like that I never feel that I can ask him anything, if I’m unsure over something I don’t feel like I can ask anything. How can I get better at communicating with him? There is also another coach who is relatively new coaching our squad. I’ll do something right for 3/4 of a session, and then for one second I’ll mess up, and i’ll be aware that I did it wrong, but he’s straight on to me telling me how wrong it is. I’m not sure if I’m over-reacting but it really annoys me that he treats me as a complete idiot who doesn’t seem to know how to do anything, how can I change/resolve this? Thank you.

It takes a LOT for a coach to find someone annoying, even for someone with minimal patience like me. If you’re mature, hardworking, diligent, and you listen to what she says and makes the necessary changes when she tells you to work on something, she won’t think you’re a pest or annoying.

Tags: coach problems communication qotd relationships