I have a question bouncing off of one you answered about losing the passion to row. I’m finishing my second year of college and I’m completely miserable. I loved rowing and I know this is what I want to do but rowing, school, and life are getting to be too much. I feel like I’m drowning. I talked to my mom how I feel and she suggested taking a semester off of school and rowing. I kind of want to but I’m afraid of what my coaches and teammates will think. I’ve never given up on anything before and I’m afraid to start now. I don’t want to be seen as weak or a quitter. I don’t even know how to start the conversation with my coach. Do you have any advice?
If you’re genuinely miserable and have felt that way for awhile (as in you’ve felt like this for a few months, not just for a week or two because of general stress…) then taking time off might be the smart thing to do. I’ve said this a thousand times on here and I’ll say it again – at the end of the day you have to do what’s best for you. You can love rowing, love your coaches, love your teammates, etc. but if something’s going on that’s making you not enjoy what you’re doing, the smart thing to do would be to take a step back and work out whatever those issues are (either on your own or with help) so you can get back to having fun and enjoying rowing/life.
As far as your coaches and teammates go, they don’t have to like your decision but they should at least respect it. If they don’t and instead give you shit for it, well, that should answer your question as to whether staying on the team is worthwhile or not. I don’t want to say coaches should be used to having conversations like this with their rowers but they should expect it from time to time so the best thing you can do, for you and them, is to just be honest about how you’re feeling, why you think taking some time off will be beneficial, and then set up a time to talk at some point in the future … either in a month, when you get back to campus, etc. If you do end up deciding to take a break then the sooner you let your coaches know the better, simply because this will presumably have some kind of impact on their fall plans. Don’t wait until the last minute and beat around the bush though because that’s just annoying and frustrating.
You’re not really “giving up” so don’t look at it that way. If you made no effort to work on yourself and/or work out your issues before deciding to quit, yea that’s giving up. It doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re doing though so don’t put that kind of unnecessary pressure on yourself. Like I’ve said, do what you need to do for yourself but talk with your coaches and keep them up to date with what you ultimately decide to do. It’s only fair and if they’re like the coaches I work with and most of the ones I’ve had in the past, they’ll support you either way.