Tag: qotd

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 28, 2014

Hi! I’m a Novice Coxswain (who use to be a varsity rower until I told my coach I wanted to cox cause I’m 5’0″) and I cox a men’s Novice 8 (I’m a girl) . Lately they’ve been disrespecting me and ignoring my commands. I’ve told the coaches and other coxswains (we are a small team and only have 5 coxswains) and my coaches always remind everyone to “respect your coxswains or you’ll be kicked off the team” besides them being mean and rude to me. We haven’t won a race all season and they are starting to blame me – but I feel like it’s not really my fault much? And last regatta my stroke seat hurt his arm picking up the boat at the regatta and according to a friend of mine they were all blaming me for him hurting his arm. They also got mad at me for saying “C’mon I’ve seen you row harder!” which I understand but they were getting up on me for ‘hurting their feelings’ (like them harassing me and picking on me isn’t hurting mine??). Not only that but another coxswain who had to cox them while I was out said meaner things to them and the same exact thing – but they never got mad at her and I think it’s because she flirts with them and stuff. At this point I don’t know what to do and I love the varsity rowers so much but I’m thinking about retiring early this season so I don’t have to deal with them…

I don’t get why coaches threaten to kick people off the team if they disrespect their coxswains (or anyone else). It’s not like anyone ever follows through with that. The day a coach kicks their best rower(s) off the team for being a dick to their coxswain (or hell, vice versa too…) is the day I start working for NASA.

I think that when things go wrong and there’s no one specifically to blame, it’s easiest for people to blame the coxswain because “it’s not like you do anything” and the rowers are bigger than us so there’s that whole thing where they think they’re intimidating us when in reality, they just look like assholes. With the exception of a few special cases, I really do believe that no one person is ever to blame for a loss. Everyone is responsible though because you’re a crew and that’s how it works. There’s always something that everyone can do a little bit better.

If your stroke hurt his arm … how is that your fault? Unless there’s some major details you’re leaving out, like you hired someone to Tonya Harding him out of spite or something, then just ignore it because they’re just looking for someone to blame and you’re an easy target (or so they think). I can understand why they’d get pissed at you for saying “I’ve seen you row harder” but at the same time, that’s a necessary and legitimate call sometimes. Of course there are better ways to phrase it but sometimes you’ve gotta be blunt about it because you know they’re capable of more than they’re doing right now. If saying that somehow hurt their feelings … wow.

If I was their coxswain I’d tell them to shut up, suck it up, and oh, I donno, row like they’re capable and then maybe I wouldn’t have to make calls like that. I take serious issue with rowers who think that their power output is directly proportional to how good (or bad) they think a coxswain’s calls are, like if the coxswain isn’t making good calls then that somehow makes it OK for them to row with the power of an eight year old. You can still row at 100% if the coxswain is making shitty calls. A coxswain is supposed to enhance your rowing but at the end of the day, you are still in control of your oar. You’re the one that decides how hard to push off and pull through the water, not the coxswain. Don’t interpret that as me taking any responsibility away from the coxswains because I’m not, I’m just making sure you guys are aware of your role in this. You can’t put all the blame on the coxswain when things go wrong because you bear some of the responsibility too. You are the ones with the oars in your hand.

As far as the other coxswain goes, I donno, as a fellow coxswain that’s just a non-issue for me. Not that you’re doing this but just a word of caution to all the women out there: don’t be that female coxswain that gets pissed off because another female coxswain is getting along well with a men’s crew. Just don’t. If you want to come off as a super petty, immature bitch then go for it but don’t assume that she’s flirting with them or doing anything else to/for/with them just because the guys are listening to her and she’s having a good time with them. Maybe she’s just a good coxswain who has found a way that works when it comes to communicating with them. Instead of making assumptions or spreading rumors you should talk to her and say “hey, I’ve been having a hard time trying to work with these guys but you’ve seemed to figure out how to get them to respond to you – what’s your secret?”. I can’t say that I really stay on top of the rules of feminism but I’m pretty sure that tearing other women down because of how successful they are or questioning how they got where they are isn’t one of them.

Coxing High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 28, 2014

So, I have been coxing for two years, and really enjoy races. However as it’s regatta season coming up, I need a bit of advice on race. How much do you want to be talking in races? My rowers said they want me talking constantly, but my coach advised not to because the rowers usually end up blocking it out. Also, do you have any calls you find really motivate your crew? I don’t want to just be reciting calls without them meaning anything but then I don’t know what to fill the gaps with. We have had loads of really successful coxes from our club so I’m under lots of pressure to be good! :/ Also, sorry I know this is a lot, but I am 5’3″ and weigh 105lbs, is this too big or heavy for a junior 14s coxie? Thanks a bunch, love this blog!

In terms of how much you should be talking, always go with what the rowers ask for. I talk pretty consistently when we’re racing or doing pieces because I don’t feel like there’s any reason why I shouldn’t be. If the rowers want/need you to always be talking, then that’s what I do. In my experience my crews have told me that even if they aren’t specifically processing some of what I’m saying, my voice and how I’m saying what I’m saying is what’s keeping them engaged and their focus in the boat.

I really cringe when coaches tell coxswains how to do stuff like this because so often it comes from their own personal experience as a rower and is based off of what they didn’t like about their coxswain. That’s fine but … your experience isn’t everyone else’s. The same applies to me though too – what my crews have asked me to do might be different than what your crews want you to do.

The best thing you can do in situations like this is to take into consideration the advice you get from outside people (your coach, me, etc.) and then go straight to your rowers and say “Re: talking while racing, I’ve heard X and Y … which applies to us?” and find out straight from them what they want. Communication is key!

Regarding motivating calls, check out the post linked above. This is another spot where you should talk with your rowers and ask them what would really get them going during a race. Don’t over think it because the most effective calls are usually the simplest ones. Several of the recordings that coxswains have sent me lately have included really simple calls that just relate to their school/team, such as “Yea Tigers!”, “Go Big Red!”, “Here we go, Huskies!”, etc. When you’ve got time, scroll through all the coxswain recording posts and look at/listen to some of the calls I pointed out.

Related: Coxswain recordings

As far as your height/weight goes, you’re five pounds under the minimum of 110lbs – you’re fine. That’s probably the most common size for female coxswains so no, it’s not too big or too heavy.

College High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 28, 2014

Our team has gotten really close these past couple weeks and I’m really going to miss everyone who is leaving next year. What is the best way to bond with my team before the end of the season?

Go to someone’s house and have a biiig bonfire cookout or something. If you’re in college, bring beer. If you’re not in college, bring root beer.

Seriously though, the best thing you can do is really appreciate the time you spend together when you’re at practice, traveling to regattas, etc. It might not feel like you’re bonding because you’re not doing a specific “bonding activity” but when you look back on it you’ll realize that that one hilarious conversation you had in the hotel or that great race you had last week was one of the defining moments of your friendship(s) and time together as teammates.

College Coxing Q&A

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 22, 2014

Hey! Lately, I haven’t been getting boated much during practices and have only been boated for one race. Some of our assistant coaches have claimed that I’m better than the other coxswain and that it’s become more of a matter of favorites. Any tips on how I can show the head coaches that I want to be boated for races, especially with one more race plus Pac-12s coming up? I don’t know what else to do other than prove myself each time I’m on the water (which isn’t often) and going over recordings with our coach once I’m back on the water.

As frustrating as this answer is, I think your best option is to keep doing what you’re doing. Take advantage of every opportunity to show your skills when you’re on the water, get constant feedback from your coach(es) and rowers, and continue going over audio with your coach(es). “Wanting” it only gets you so far – you’ve gotta put in the effort on and off the water. If you can make a case for yourself by doing all of that then I can’t see why your coach wouldn’t give you some consideration.

When you talk with the coach that makes the lineups ask him/her point blank why these other coxswains are being boated over you – what have they got that you could stand to improve on? I think this is a great question to ask and yes, it’s very possible to ask it without coming off as a whiny brat. If they’re free, ask one of the assistant coaches to come with you when you talk to your other coach too. This will give you the opportunity to bring up what the two of you have discussed in terms of areas where you’re excelling or could use some improvement so that you can get your coach’s feedback on how tweaking some of those skills could result in you potentially getting put in a racing lineup. If/when you do this though make sure you’re completely clear on the feedback they’ve been giving you and do not throw them under the bus by saying something like “well they said the only reason I’m not in the boat is because I’m not one of your favorites”. I’ve seen that happen and I’ve had that happen and from all assistant coaches everywhere, you’re a real asshole if you misrepresent our conversations like that in front of the head coach.

It may very well be that your coach has a favorite coxswain (sometimes it’s hard not to) that he wants with a certain boat but in my experience, favorites don’t just pop up randomly. The reason they’re a favorite is usually because the coach has found that they’re reliable, they communicate well, they’re trustworthy on and off the water, and they’ve got whatever special quality it is that your coach looks for. Not that you don’t have or do any of those things but it’s always worth asking (or thinking about on your own), in comparison to [the coxswain in the boat you want], where am I (potentially) falling short? Reflect on that and talk about it with your coaches. As a coxswain and a coach I really appreciate seeing a coxswain who comes into a meeting prepared to say “this is what I think I’m doing well, this is what I think I need to improve on to get into this boat … confirm or deny”. That shows me and the other coaches that you’re actively thinking about where you can make improvements rather than just expecting us to spoon feed you and give you what you want.

Coxing Q&A

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 22, 2014

I’m nearing the peak of racing season and I’m already burned out! I’m tired of coxing at the moment and I’m sick of my teammates because I’ve spent way too much time with them. I’m scared to miss practice though because I’m worried about losing my seat, what should I do?

I say this with empathy, solidarity, and love: suck. it. up.

There have been numerous times in the past when I was coxing (and even (very) recently with coaching) where I had no interest in being at the boathouse because I was sick of seeing or dealing with people, stressed, burned out, etc. but I showed up anyways, not because I had to in order to keep my seat but because I’d made a commitment to show up and if I didn’t, eight (or more) other people would be adversely affected by my decision.

Outside of when I was in college I think the only time I got burned out on crew was midway through my last season in high school, which was also simultaneously my best and worst season. Best because my crew was great and we kicked ass every week and worst because our head coach was an asshole who I’m positive sat up at night coming up with ways to make us all dislike him more and more each day. Around the beginning of May (peak season for us) I was definitely starting to just go through the motions – I was there physically but not mentally. Our assistant coach noticed pretty much right away and essentially made me spill my guts about why I was suddenly so much less on point than usual. Senioritis, poor team leadership, feeling like I wasn’t improving at the same rate as my crew, and a general sense of the “meh’s” were all key points. In his usual way of “saying something without actually saying it” he pretty much told me to suck it up, set an example, and be bigger than whatever issues were threatening to bring me down.

Burnout is like depression (figuratively and almost literally) – it isn’t really something you can just decide to get over and how you handle it is unique to every person. For me, I did just suck it up because that’s what was necessary. Regardless of how crappy I was feeling I didn’t want to bring my boat down to my level so I re-evaluated my performances on the water, priorities, and attitudes towards various situations so that I could get to the root of the problem and start doing something different. At this point I had one month left of high school which meant I had one month left to get my coxing up to the level I wanted to be at before I left for college. My coach and I came up with some goals so that I’d have something to work on myself while he focused on the rowers and we went from there. Each day for the next week I’d show up and he’d say “what kind of afternoon are we gonna have?” and my answer each time was “a great one”, regardless of how I felt or my day actually went. As silly and cheesy as it was, that little glimmer of positivity always started off practice on a good note.

My suggestion is this, based on my own experiences:

Take time every day to unwind and clear your head. Before practice, turn your car off and sit there in silence for a couple extra minutes. (If you don’t drive to practice, find a quiet spot to go to where you won’t be bothered.) Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Tell yourself that you’re going to have a good day on the water – actually say it out loud to yourself. After practice, do the same thing. Sit in your car for a few minutes, take a couple deep breaths, and leave everything that happened at practice at the boathouse. Don’t bring it home with you. Go home and relax for a bit. Actually relax too – if that means taking a quick nap or a hot shower, do it. If that means giving yourself a badass pedicure while watching people be violently murdered on Game of Thrones, do it. Just do something for 30-60 minutes that lets you decompress before diving into your homework.

When you get to the boathouse, don’t purposely avoid everyone but try to keep your distance (without being super obvious about it) until it’s time to get the boats out. If somebody asks what’s up just say that you’re just taking a few minutes to yourself and trying to avoid any unnecessary distractions before you get out on the water.

Find/create a support system. If you’re sick of your teammates, talk to a friend who’s not on the team. They probably won’t have any idea what the hell you’re talking about but you can at least vent your frustrations to them and who knows, they might even be able to give you some useful nuggets of advice. Same goes for your parents and/or your coaches. In theory they should automatically be supportive of you but now’s your time to actually call it in and go directly to them for support.

If you’ve got a free weekend (or a free day on the weekend) take advantage of it. I flew to Boston this past weekend and didn’t think about crew or anything else once for four days. It was incredible and came at the perfect time. It’s not the rowing that’s been the issue, rather all the administrative stuff we’ve had to deal with that’s been creating a seriously unnecessary amount of stress for everyone. Getting away from that and the other forty-seven things that are currently seriously testing my patience made coming back to practice oh-so–sweet. I would’ve loved to have been at the marathon today (my trepidation of large crowds thanks to last year aside…) but going to practice and seeing the team after being away for a few days, in addition to getting to cox our V8 and V4, let me experience one of those moments that I really cherish: that moment where we’re doing a piece, I’m in the moment, the boat is moving well, and I’m reminded in a split second why I love this sport so damn much. I swear, that fleeting nanosecond of clarity is all it takes to get me out of a rut. If you’ve got the opportunity to take a day off on the weekend, do it. Go somewhere and do something fun or stay at home and do nothing – whatever you do though, let crew be the furthest thing from your mind so that when you come back you can be reminded too of just why it is that you’re there.

College Coxing Q&A Rowing

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 19, 2014

Hi!! I’m a high school junior, and recently I’ve been looking at colleges. At my high school, I’m a mid-pack rower, but the colleges I’m applying to are for academic reasons, and most of them are D1 and way too competitive for me as a rower. I’m 5 foot 8 and 123 lbs, and I’m considering becoming a men’s cox. Do you think that it’s a good idea? I’m already familiar with rowing, but due to my size and lack of experience, would it be a better idea to try as a rower? I really love the sport and want to participate during college, so whatever you think is best!

Hi! I’m assuming by too competitive you mean that your times wouldn’t stand up against the other rowers, not that the sport itself is too competitive in terms of the commitments, etc? If it’s the former then I’d say look for local clubs around the university and see if you can start training there. If you want to keep racing you could pick up sculling and go to regattas like Club Nationals, Canadian Henley, Independence Day Regatta, etc. over the summer. That way there’s no conflicts with school and you would set your own training schedule. I personally don’t know that much about sculling but from everything that I’ve heard from friends and other coaches, it helps your sweep rowing a ton.

As far as becoming a coxswain for a men’s team, it’s worth looking into if you’re really interested in it. You’re a little taller than most coxswains but in the grand scheme of things it’s weight that matters, not height. Plus, the men’s minimum is 120lbs so you’re good with that given your current weight. You can walk on to the team with no coxing experience – plenty of people do it – so it’s really your choice, just don’t expect to get recruited as a coxswain since you don’t have any experience with it.

I think based on what you said about looking at colleges for academic reasons (priorities, man – good for you!) finding a local club that you can row out of on your own schedule would be your best bet. I think most clubs have lower fees for college students, although I’m not sure if that applies year round or just in the summer. Another thing worth looking into though!

Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 15, 2014

There has been a lot of drama on my team lately. I was just wondering what the best way to deal with it would be because I really want to have a strong season and close relationships within our team. P.S. – I love your blog!

I think the easiest and simplest way to deal with it is to have the team captains (or a couple seniors, if you don’t have team captains) say something to the team without the coaches present. Not that my friends and I didn’t respect our coaches but we always took things like this more seriously when they came from our teammates/friends. It was always like, if it’s escalated to the point where the upperclassmen are saying something, that’s how you know people are tired of the bullshit. Remind everyone that you’re there to row, get fast, and win medals and you can’t do that if people are perpetuating rumors, causing unnecessary problems, creating rifts between teammates, etc. If you know of a specific incident, address it only with the people involved and remind others to do the same.

I’m so tired of reiterating this because I feel like I say it in some form or another at least once or twice a week. If you’re taking issues with another person and making them known to the entire team (particularly when 98% of the team has no idea what you’re talking about), then you’re just as responsible for any drama that comes out of that. I’ve already had to deal with two similar issues this week (it’s TUESDAY) and how “over it” I am is unquantifiable at this point.

It’s also important to remind the team that not everyone has to be friends but you do have to respect each other. You’re all out there trying to accomplish the same thing and you’re all (hopefully) putting in just as much hard work as the next person. Disrespect towards a coach or another teammate shouldn’t be accepted. If you’ve got an issue with someone, keep it out of practice and definitely off the water. I think “check your issues at the door” would be the most appropriate phrase for whatever issues your team is experiencing. Another important thing to address would be keeping stuff off of social media. The passive aggressive subtweets, Facebook/Tumblr posts, etc. directed at other people on the team can’t and shouldn’t be tolerated.

Let the team know who to go to too if they’re having issues with someone or know of issues that need to be addressed so that it can be handled by someone who’s neutral to what’s actually happening. On our team, it’s our two team captains (both seniors) and I that deal with the majority of the issues that come up. Listen to what they have to say, stay neutral, and then address it accordingly.

College Coxing Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 15, 2014

I’m a novice coxswain for a men’s team, and I have absolutely no idea what to say to fix an issue. It’s been at least four months with me as a coxswain and we’re nearing the end of racing season. I have no idea what the source of an issue is, and am just grasping at straws. It occurred to me I’m simply repeating the same exact things every practice. Our biggest issues is the rest of the boat rushing up on stroke pair, and occasional issues of set that extend beyond just lower or raising blades and handles. My team has lost all patience with me and have no trust in me whatsoever. I want to quit, but have no replacement.

I guess to add on to this, I forgot to mention that at the end of December, basically all of our novice coxswains quit. We had four, and all of them left until I was the only left. I stayed because I didn’t want to leave my guys hanging. There is this one spare coxswain on the team, let’s call her C. She…doesn’t really do anything. I believe she is the women’s novice coxswain, but they only have one boat, so she just does…nothing. She’s there every morning though. I passed along the idea of quitting to my coach and her, and she basically said she “couldn’t” be the novice men’s coxswain because she wasn’t “allowed” to. I learned from my coach that she wanted to stay a novice coxswain for next year, and by competing she would have to be varsity. First off, I feel like I should be allowed to be a little annoyed at this. Part of me just wants to walk up to the coach and hand over my position, pay my fees, and leave. I never really wanted to be a coxswain in the first place. I joined rowing to row, but I didn’t have the athletic ability to do it. Thinking about it now, I don’t know why I stayed on the team. I don’t know what to do. We have two races left, one on Saturday and WIRA.

OK, let me ask you a question. What have you done to educate yourself on the different issues your crews are having? By educate yourself I mean how often did you bring the issue up with your coach(es) and ask them what causes this, what do the rowers need to be doing, what calls should/could I be making, etc., in addition to doing your own research outside of practice by Googling or YouTubing the issues your crew is having, looking up technique, drills, etc. or talking with your rowers to find out what you could be doing to help the crew? How often did you try to video your crew or have someone on the launch video them so you could go over it as a crew with your coach? Your coaches have a responsibility to teach you about this stuff but you have a responsibility to teach yourself as well. The loss in patience and trust from your teammates is usually exacerbated when they get the impression (or know) that you’re not doing anything on your own to make yourself a better/stronger coxswain.

Personally I don’t think you should be “allowed” to be annoyed that another coxswain doesn’t want to or doesn’t feel ready to race yet. That’s a judgement call on her end and if she wants to continue as a novice next year to gain more experience and enhance her skills before she begins racing, you have to respect that whether you agree with it or not . I’d much rather have a coxswain do that than jump straight into a competitive crew that’s preparing to race when they’re not ready to do so.

If you’re having issues with rush and slide control, try doing some two-part pause drills pausing at hands away and half slide. I did those with my crew a couple weeks ago and they helped a lot.

It really sounds like you aren’t enjoying crew at all though and (correct me if I’m wrong) don’t have much invested it in other than the fees and the time you spend at practice. If you’ve only got WIRA’s left now then I would at least stick it out through that and then you can give your coach your fees and leave.

Q&A Racing

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 13, 2014

Hi I was wondering if it was possible to merge boys and girls on a boat for some races? For example if we row a 4+, could we have 2 guys and 2 girls ?

As far as I know, you can only row a mixed gender crew in events that are specifically listed as “mixed” races. If they’re not listed as that then you have to follow the rules of the event you’re entering (i.e. “men’s varsity 8+” must be all men (minus the coxswain), “women’s junior quad” must be all women who aren’t seniors, etc.).

High School Q&A Teammates & Coaches

Question of the Day

By readyallrow April 13, 2014

Hi, we have states in two weeks and we have boat gifts – is this a sport-wide tradition? If so, what are good gifts to buy/make? Thanks a bunch.

I wouldn’t say it’s a sport-wide tradition, rather it’s more of a “if your team does it, cool, if not, whatever” kind of thing. My team does something similar to this called “secret motivators” where each girl is assigned another girl to buy a fun gift for before each regatta. Sometimes they find out who their person is early on but I don’t think anyone is supposed to know until the end of the season. At the beginning of the season one of the seniors gave everyone on the team a “survey” to fill out where they listed why they joined the team, what motivates them, what music/TV shows/movies they like, what their favorite things are, etc. so that the person who was assigned them had an idea of what kind of things they might like.

It’s hilarious watching everyone open their gifts because it’s like Christmas morning every week – wrapping paper, gift bags, and tissue paper litter the ground regardless of where we are. The creativity that some of the girls have is pretty impressive too. Some of the things I’ve seen people get so far are baseball hats that say “crew” on them (Headsweats are a team favorite), SpiderMan coloring books, their favorite food or candy (jars of peanut butter + their own spoon seem to be popular), fun patterned sport bras, crew or team-inspired artwork, water bottles, etc. I’d say 98% of the stuff that’s given though has nothing to do with rowing (Disney princess bath soap or miniature stuffed animals, for example) but it’s all done in good fun and the goal is to just perk everyone up a bit before a regatta. Just from asking around I think the average amount that people spend each week is $10-$20, although for the first race of the season and most likely for the bigger regattas at the end of the season, people tended to spend (or will spend) a little bit more.

Don’t over think it and just have fun with it! It’s a great way to get to know other people on the team better and promote team bonding.