So I’m the only coxswain on my school team because we’re a really small team (Varsity 4 and Novice 8) and last spring I would do all of the land workouts with them, including erging. This year, (my sophomore year) my coach has been having me cox them on the ergs and it’s really helping my coxing. However, some of my low varsity/head novice rowers (they’ve only done one season) seem to think that this is unfair and are convinced that I don’t do anything. How do I react to this? Also, one of my novice rowers has a really bad attitude about rowing, and I’ll try to push her on the ergs but she says that she doesn’t care about her split. She’ll just tell me to stop trying cause her split won’t go down. When we’re in the boat (5 seat) she’s constantly complaining so loud that I can hear her and it’s distracting the rowers. What do I do? Thank you so much, I literally wouldn’t survive without this blog!

So, here’s how I handle rowers/coxswains with attitudes like that. I have what tends to work out as a three-strike policy – I’ll help you, motivate you, guide you, whatever you need but if you have the same “I don’t care, it doesn’t matter” bad attitude after each time I try to work with you then you’ve just given me all the motivation I need to say “mmk bye” and stop trying entirely. Why should I (or anyone else) waste my time to help someone who isn’t even willing to help themselves? I don’t have the patience for that (and I have no problem admitting that either).

That’s something coxswains need to get comfortable saying too – if you have a teammate who is doing something similar, I think it’s important (and necessary, at times) for you to be able to say “you’re on your own” if it comes to that after consistently putting forth an effort to help/motivate them. It doesn’t make you a bad coxswain, friend, or teammate either. Sometimes “tough love”, if you want to put a label on it, is what’s needed because it’ll help the other person come to one of two conclusions: A) they need to get their shit together and adjust their attitudes because the one they have right now isn’t doing anything for themselves or the team or B) this isn’t the sport for them.

I would talk with her one-on-one and firmly say that you’re at the point where you don’t know what else to do because she’s not giving you anything to work with and on top of that, her negative attitude is starting to become an distraction to her teammates, which isn’t OK. Let her know that she has a decision to make and that if/when she decides to adjust her attitude and recommit to the team then you’ll be there to back her up and do what you can to help her but until then, she’s on her own.

As far as your rowers getting pissed at you for oh you know, doing your job …*eye roll*. That doesn’t even make sense. If you’re doing what your coach is asking you to do and feel like you’re benefiting from it then sorry rowers but your opinion is irrelevant. To be honest, I’d give them an ultimatum the next time they say something to you. Either you can do what your coach is telling you to do and continue improving as a coxswain (since that is, in case they forgot, your role on the team) or you can workout with them to make them feel better about … whatever … and not spend the allocated time you have during practice focused on the things that’ll make you a more effective coxswain. Their choice.

This is one of the reasons why I caution coxswains against working out with their rowers. I’m not 100% against it but situations like this can be inevitable with certain groups of people and it’s honestly just not worth it to deal with it. If it’s to the point where it’s actually bothering you though, talk with your coach and see if he/she can say something to them to get them to back off. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it though because like I said before, you’re doing what you’re being asked to do and you’re getting something out of it. At the end of the day, that’s a lot more important than indulging a few rowers who insist on whining and pulling the “that’s unfair” card.